Love Out of Order (Indigo Love Spectrum) (22 page)

“So, how much do I owe you?” I avoided the awk
ward innuendo.

“Consider it my Christmas present to you,” Tia said,
smiling. Tia wasn’t so bad after all. I was going to ask her
what she’d gotten when there was a knock on the door. I
ran to answer it. Suse and Charles were standing there.

“
Suse!” I grabbed her and gave her a huge hug as she
came through the door. Her pink coat was wet with
snow, and I felt the cold dampness of it through my shirt
before pulling back from her. “Hey, Charles.”

“Hey,” he said. His black hair had a few flakes of
snow in it. His large frame filled most of the doorway
until he came inside and closed the door behind him.

I proceeded to make introductions all the way
around. Suse and I exchanged Christmas stories. She told
me all about mud bogging on Christmas Day and
hunting things with her dad and Charles. She seemed
excited that they were starting to get along. Her parents
had never really liked Charles from the beginning. Suse
said realizing there was no getting rid of him must have
been making them warm up to him.

After some more chatting, Charles spoke up, saying
he could eat a horse.

“Well, where does everyone want to eat?” I asked.
“How about that sushi place near Short Pump we
went to for the SBA thing last semester?” Tia suggested.
Charles made a face and Suse patted his shoulder.

“There’s that Chinese buffet near it,” Suse said.

“Ugh, that place is so greasy,” Tia said.

“The steak house down the street,” Suse said.

Everybody agreed on that and we left for dinner.

Shortly after we ordered and had our drinks, we
started talking about how we’d spent other New Year’s
Eves and I listened to every word out of John’s mouth
carefully, wondering if he’d mention Sasha. I tried to tell
myself it wouldn’t matter if he did.

I
felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see
Astoria standing behind me next to a guy whose grin
revealed a gold tooth.

“Denise. Denise, girl! How you doin’?” she slurred, grabbing my shoulder. “And your boy, John! Hi,
John
!” She’d obviously started her celebration early.

“Hey,” John said, annoyance flickering over his
features.

“Everybody, this is Irvin. Irvin, these are my worthless
friends who didn’t invite me out with them for New
Year’s Eve.”

We exchanged tense, awkward greetings.

“This one.” Astoria glared at me. “She didn’t even tell
me she was back in town.”

“I just got back,” I said, but it was hard to defend
myself when I knew she was right.

“Yeah, okay. Mind if we join you for dinner?”
Without waiting for our answer, Astoria sent Irvin off to
find a couple of chairs.

Dinner went okay even with Astoria there. She
mostly behaved herself, but she kept making snide comments to Irvin loud enough for the rest of us to hear over
our conversations, most of them about John. And her
drunk ass did order a cocktail, much to the consternation of everyone else at the table.

I still had a good time. John sat next to me and he
mostly ate with one hand, the arm of his free hand
wrapped around me. He kept whispering things to me
that made my ears burn. Occasionally, I forgot we were
sharing our table with six other people.

W
hen we got back to the apartment, everybody was
ready to drink, mostly so we could bear Astoria’s com
pany. I had almost strangled her when as we were leaving the restaurant, she told John she was surprised to see him out in public with me. He handled it really well, but that
didn’t make it okay.

Terry started making our drinks. In his varied and interesting travels, he’d become a mixologist while living
in Denver. Terry had traveled for a few years before “set
tling” in Richmond. He’d been there for five years—the
longest he’d been anywhere since graduating high school.
I didn’t know where Tia had come across him, but he
wasn’t a law student. Really, I had no idea what Terry did.

Once everybody started drinking, Astoria came up to
me, wanting to have a “serious conversation.” I should
have smelled the trouble. My filter was off and I was
going to be too honest. But it was time for the conversa
tion we were going to have, anyway.

She pulled me aside after John, Terry, Irvin, and
Charles started a conversation about basketball.

“So, why aren’t we friends anymore?” Astoria asked.

“We’re friends. I just don’t want to be around you too
much right now. All you do is trash John and it pisses me
off,” I said.

“I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Well, I don’t like it and I don’t need it. Why do you
think I’d want to hear all that about somebody I love?”
“You don’t love him. You don’t even know him.”

“I do.”

“Even if you think you do, he don’t love you.”

“Huh?”

“You’re not white. When he’s bored, he’ll leave you for some white chick. Probably go back to Sasha. You
never going to be anything
serious
to him,” she said.

“He took me to meet his parents.”

“Didn’t go too well, did it? What you doin’ back so
early? I don’t remember you sayin’ . . .” Astoria pretended
to look perplexed. For the first time in my life, I wanted
to hit her. Right in her loud, fat mouth. I couldn’t believe
the words coming out of it. And I couldn’t believe how
deeply they were touching on the painful, ugly truth.

“You’re pathetic. You’re just jealous that I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, please. This isn’t middle school. You don’t have a boyfriend, either.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All you have is a fuck buddy.”

“We haven’t even had sex yet!”

“Oh. That’s probably why he’s still around. Just wait
until you do. And he gets tired of it.”

“I’m tired of this conversation. I just knew you would
come here starting stuff. And you’ve been picking with
people all night. Now you’re back on the same old shit
you been on with me for months. I want you out. Out of
my house!” I yelled at her. I could feel everybody’s eyes on
us, but I didn’t care. I was focused on Astoria.

“Fine. Forget your real friends,” she said. “C’mon,
Irvin. Let’s go.”

“Out!” I shoved her coat at her. “If you were a real
friend, you would want me to be happy.”

“
Don’t push me,” she said in a low, threatening tone.
I shoved her toward the door. She pushed back. I moved
forward again and someone grabbed me from behind.

“I think you better go,” John said to Astoria, drawing
me close to him.

“Whatever. You’re dumb. All of you. I don’t know
why I waste my time with you people,” Astoria snarled,
but there were tears in her eyes. She snatched her gloves
from Suse and stormed out.

I sagged against John, staring at the door. Suse went
after her, muttering something about making sure Irvin
was driving.

“You okay?” he murmured, hugging me.

I turned around in his arms and hugged him back,
nodding. I wasn’t.

“You just wanna go in your room for a while? Cool off?”

I nodded again. I followed him to my room. We sat
on the edge of the bed, my head buried in his shoulder.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.

I shook my head. I looked up at him. He lowered his
head, kissing me softly. I kissed him back hard. I pushed
him back on the bed and started tearing at his clothes.
He restrained me by gently taking my wrists in his hands.
“I’m gonna take this the wrong way if you don’t tell me
not to.”

“I want to. I want you,” I said. He let go of my wrists.
“We’re probably going to miss the countdown,” he
said as I threw his pants across the room.

“Do you really care?” I asked, throwing my sweater
across the room. My jeans quickly followed.

“
No way,” he grinned, his eyes widening as they trav
eled downward. I ran my hand over his head and what
little hair he hadn’t shaved off.

“Good,” I said. He caressed the side of my face. I put
my hand over his. I grinned down at him, lost in his eyes.
The only place in the world I wanted to be at that moment.

I sighed against John’s lips as he removed my bra and ran his hands over my back. I closed my eyes and arched
my back to his touch. He rolled over, pinning me
beneath him. I watched as removed his boxers, my eyes traveling greedily over his body. It was the first time I had
seen him completely naked. I reached out, running my hands lightly over his perfect abs.

“Whoa,” he said, grabbing my hand. “It’s really been
a while. And it’s gonna be all over if you do that.”

I grinned lazily at him as he kissed my fingertips. He
started trailing kisses down my arm. I moaned softly as
he reached my shoulder. His teeth and tongue trans
ported me to a place I’d never been before. He moved
greedily over my body, trying to consume me with his
mouth and hands.

“John,” I whispered as I felt his fingers slip between my thighs. They rested lightly on my inner thigh, dan
gerously close to where I wanted them to be. I pushed my
legs further apart.

“Yes?” he whispered back, his tongue tickling my ear
lobe.

“I love you,” I said as he kissed my throat.

“I know. I love you, too, Denise. So much,” John
murmured into my navel, his hands in mine. My name
on his tongue almost gave me more pleasure than what he put on his tongue next.

Nobody came to check on us—they seemed to know we neither needed nor wanted that. And we had no idea
what was going on out in the living room. We spent the
rest of the night either holding each other or making
love. I was on top of him when the sky started to lighten
on the other side of my curtains.

TAU GAMMA TERRORS

The first few weeks back after winter break were a
blur. Sasha decided to sic her Tau Gamma Chi sisters at
Central on me. That was fun. To add to that, even
though Astoria and I had technically made up, we had
barely had a civil word for each other since New Year’s
Eve. I wondered if our friendship would survive my rela
tionship with John. And school stress was a constant factor.

The beginning of the end came when we all ended up
at some party that a bunch of the third-years threw. Me, John, Astoria, and Cindy and her Tau Gamma Chi crew.
Suse refused to come. She had admonished Astoria and I
against going, telling us that “nothing but trouble would
come of it.” Suse had lost that battle—she lost most bat
tles with Astoria and I. Still, we should have listened to
her.

I drank way too much. John was off with some of his
idiot friends I avoided whenever possible. I liked Ral, but
he wasn’t there. I stood in a corner with Astoria. We were
trashing the Tau Gammas while I wondered what they
were saying about me. They’d been following me around
and spreading rumors about me for weeks.

“
Why is this bitch laughing at me? Look at her,” I
said, glaring at Cindy and the other two waifs. They were
standing across the room, laughing and looking in our direction. Something about us was really funny to them.