Love Realized (3 page)

As she got closer, the woman standing next to Adam stood up and turned around to resume her position next to him. All of the oxygen suddenly vacated Gillian’s lungs
, and apparently the need to bring in more seemed to escape her mind. Forgetting to breathe, forgetting everyone around her, she stood there staring into the eyes of this woman. A woman whose eyes and face had already been etched into her mind. A woman branded into Gillian’s memory. A woman who has, until now, only existed in Gillian’s mind or in secret pictures she had come across in the past. A woman who was not supposed to be here, in her yard, at her son’s birthday party … or even in this damn state for that matter! A woman who sure as hell should not be within an arm’s reach of Gillian. A woman who possessed the power to bring Gillian to her knees from heartache.

This was not just any woman; this was
the
woman! The Other Woman! She could just hear the hinges of her marital closet creaking open with a deafening metal on metal sound.
Exit skeletons!
Jody Spencer was the other woman who Logan loved.
Loves
? Now would be a very good time for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Because, as unbelievable as it should be, Logan’s mistress was standing there in front of her, staring back at her.

Gillian just stood there and stared at the woman. She saw the realization cross the woman’s face when she figured out who she was looking at and where she was. She hadn’t figured it out as quickly as Gillian did, but then again, it was doubtful that she gave much thought to Gillian, other than maybe
to laugh at her while wrapped in Logan’s arms. Dammit!
This cannot be happening
,
she silently begged, the desire to have someone knock her out and put her out of her misery was climbing by the second.

Gillian’s concentration was broken when she heard a loud clattering sound causing her to jump. With a sudden intake of air, she realized that the sound was her dropping the large metal tray carrying all the meat for the grill, which now resided in a pile surrounding her feet. Damn! She didn’t have to look around to know that everyone was looking in
her direction.
Good job, Gillian! Way to draw attention to the mistress.
Adam bent over to help pick up the mess, as did someone else, but Gillian couldn’t take the time to look because she couldn’t break her eye contact with Jody. Wouldn’t that show weakness? She was sure there was some animal kingdom show that said the predator never takes his or her eyes off the prey … yeah, don’t break eye contact; show her who has the power here … or some shit like that.

Jody looked wide-eyed and even a little scared.
She should; she essentially just walked into the lion’s den. At that realization, a tiny bit of sympathy passed through Gillian, but was quickly squashed down. Jody then flickered her gaze to Adam and then back to Gillian, before slightly glancing around the crowd of people.
Good, she broke eye contact first. I win.
Maybe she watched one too many shows on Animal Planet.
Maybe she was looking for help or even an escape route. Maybe she was looking for Logan to confirm that she was, in fact, standing face-to-face with Gillian Baxter.

She couldn’t believe this was happening here.
This was sacred ground to Gillian; the mistress had no business being on her turf. She was a threat, and Gillian needed to protect her family from this evil woman. She needed to protect herself from the embarrassment that was going to follow when everyone found out who this was standing in front of her.

The rambling going on in Gillian’s head was interrupted when Adam stood up with the tray, and Logan suddenly appeared in front of her. Looking at Gillian, he asked, “Babe, what happened?” She wanted to look at Logan, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of
her—
the threat—the one person who could provide her with the ultimate of embarrassing situations. This woman almost destroyed her world, and possibly still possessed the power to successfully destroy her world for good this time.

When Gillian didn’t turn to look at Logan, he must have turned to see what
, or rather who, she was looking at. She realized that this interaction between them was obscured from where Logan was sitting. The arm that Logan had placed on Gillian’s back stiffened, and that was when she knew he had realized that the shit was about to hit the fan.

Damage control needed to be done, and fast, before everyone in her life figured out what was going on!
Think Gillian think! Come up with something!
She didn’t go through all the horror of his affair alone, never confiding in anyone; just to have it all erupt here and now.
Hell no!

When an idea sprung into her head, she hoped that she was going to be able to actually speak, since her throat felt like she had swallowed sand, and her tongue felt like it was ten times bigger than it was. She turned to Logan, made eye contact with him, and saw the pleading look he was giving her. She knew that he was begging her not to say anything and cause a scene.

She also knew that look he gave her was him begging her to hear him out. Yes, she had seen that look before.
Yeah right!
Like anything Gillian did at this moment was to make things easier for him, no way! In fact, the desire to swiftly knee him in his manhood was pretty hard to control right now. This was not about him. This cover up was about protecting her and their kids from his screw up, and the complete and total shame she felt because of it.

“A bee,” she managed to get out of her drier than dry mouth. Clearing her throat she continued, “I think I was stung by a bee … on my hand. It caused me to drop the tray.” She then looked back to Adam and his family, and for the first time, noticed the little girl standing next to Jody. She looked like she was shy and probably frightened by the bit of commotion caused by the clattering tray. Gillian bent down and smiled at the little girl. “I'm sorry, sweetie, if I frightened you. I didn’t mean to, but we will just blame it all on the bee.” After a pause, the little girl was still looking a little uncomfortable, so she continued, “My name is Gillian, what’s your name?”

Paying attention to the child helped distract her from what was actually happening. The shy little girl with dirty blonde hair and big brown eyes gazed at Gillian and then smiled, suddenly relaxing and said, “Rachel.” Gillian smiled back; she was a cute kid, probably close to five or six, and it certainly was not her fault that her mother was a slimy whore. That could not be held against her. Thankfully, the kid was a spitting image of Adam so there was no concern whose kid it was.
Dodged that bullet Logan! Gotta look for the silver lining here, people.
“Well Rachel, I sure hope you brought your bathing suit because all the kids are in the pool. Can you swim?” The little one nodded to Gillian and then begged her mom to allow her to get in the pool.

And that is when Gillian heard, in person for the first time, the voice of “the other woman.” Gillian had heard it once before, over a year ago when listening to the voicemail she had left for Logan. It sounded different in person. It was painful to hear and sliced right through Gillian.
Like nails down a chalkboard.
That was the voice that Logan listened to, the voice that left him messages, the voice that whispered in his ears when Gillian had no idea it was even happening. This was the voice that Gillian always feared he would want to hear instead of her own.

Suddenly, shame and humiliation enveloped Gillian, filling her with the need to run, curl up in a ball, and pray for this to not be happening.
NO! No, dammit! How dare she have that kind of power?
She could not let this happen again. Feeling the sudden burst of energy course through her body, she squared her shoulders and turned to Logan, glared at him and said, “Logan, baby,” in a sickly sweet voice that he would know was her I’m-pissed-and-putting-on-an-act-voice, “this is Adam. He recently started in the radiology department at the medical center, and this is his family. I'm sorry, what was your name again?” she said as she looked to Jody. And since she had to put on a show, she put out her hand in an offer to shake. Jody responded with a timid handshake and said, “Jody. Thank you for inviting us; you have a lovely home.”

Gillian had a quick image flash through her mind of using Jody’s hand, which she currently held, to hold her in place while simultaneously pounding on her with the other. Of course, she also managed to visualize her girlfriends jumping in the mix, too. She knew they would have her back, if only they knew what the hell was going on. The image in her mind of beating the crap out of this woman made her feel a little bit better and brought a smile to her face. An evil smile, but it was a smile nonetheless, which was appropriate, considering she was supposed to be smiling. Remembering she needed to respond to Jody, “Why thank you Jody. This is my husband, Logan; he and his partner remodeled it and can take credit for it.” Gillian watched as Logan appropriately extended his hand out to shake Adam’s, and then Jody’s, hand. She was once again filled with anger at the site of the brief contact of Logan’s skin against Jody’s, causing her to stiffen. Logan picked up on it, and immediately pulled Gillian into his side, with his arm securely holding her in place against him.

The front she was trying to put on was beginning to collapse, though. The contact with Logan made it weaker as she thought about the enormity of this situation. She could hear the muffled rumbling of Logan’s voice as if it were coming from somewhere in the distance. “Welcome to our home, please come on in, relax. It already appears that your daughter is comfortable with her surroundings since she’s already in the pool. Beer is at the bar, soda and juice is in the cooler. Please, help yourself.” As soon as he rushed to expel all of that, he turned his attention toward her and said, “Where did the bee sting you? Was it on the hand? Let’s go check it out, and put some ice on it.” Then turning back to Adam and Jody, he said, “Please excuse us.” Logan then quickly took the tray from Adam with his free arm and handed it to someone. He ushered Gillian into the house and away from everyone else—away from Jody. Smart man; it would certainly benefit him to get her away from Jody.

White noise and numbness started to overwhelm her. She could hear buzzing sounds that must belong to the people around her.
Why does it sound like I'm in a tunnel? Or maybe even underwater?
Yes, white noise is the best way to describe it. Gillian numbly walked inside the house, escorted by Logan. He held her hand positioned in front of her like there was something wrong with it.
Oh wait, there was supposed to be something wrong with it. A bee sting
. Clever thinking on her part. She would definitely pat herself on the back for coming up with that one, but she couldn’t right now because she was faking a Goddamn bee sting! Ugh! Gillian’s thoughts were drowning her, so she just allowed Logan to lead her through the house.

Holy shit! Did that really just happen? Was Jody really here? How long has she been here, in town? Oh God! Did Logan know she was here in town? God dammit! Think Gillian! Try and remember… what did Adam say? That he had been here for six months before transferring to the medical center where they worked … and that was over four months ago! Ohmygod! She has been here, in this city, the same area code, for at least the last ten months. Ten! Fucking! Months!

Her silent freak-out didn’t faze Logan, who continued to escort her through the house, most likely taking her to the bedroom where he could talk to her.
This should be good
. You could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, trying to think of what he was going to say. A small giggle escaped her mouth.
Yep, definitely losing it! Wonder what he is going to say to handle this. What could he do but deny it? Did he know she was in town? I have to ask him … Oh god … what do I do if he did know … and has been with her the whole time?

Logan’s hands were anchored on Gillian in a very possessive way; maybe he thought she was going to bolt. That didn’t sound so bad to Gillian, actually.
But wait, this was Gillian Baxter’s life and this place, these people, were Gillian’s! No way was that … that person … that bitch out there gonna get them, too!

Another giggle threatened to escape her as she realized she was referring to herself in the third person.
Keep it together Baxter
! She chastised herself for even the possibility of falling apart. They finally made it to their bedroom where Logan urged her to sit on the bed. Feeling almost zombie-like, she complied. He then knelt down in front her and clasped her hands in his. She was looking directly at him and could see his lips moving, but couldn’t hear a thing.
Could someone turn up the volume please? Snap out of it, this is something you wanna hear. It’s time to climb out of the well of humiliation you were flung down and see what’s going on.

Still staring at his lips moving, no sound was registering in her numb mind. Concentrating, she felt the numbness begin to subside. At that, the enormity of what just happened washed over her. Tears began to form and roll down her face unbeknownst to her.
Never show weakness dammit!
But her traitorous tears continued to fall. Then a sob escaped, and she gave in to it. The skeletons that had escaped the closet were now dancing in circles around the bedroom. Seriously, she knew they were there, why did they have to be so rude? She needed to pull it together and focus. The mistress was not brand new information to her, just her location was. Her world may have been tilted on its side, but this was also her son’s birthday party, a celebration is going on outside, and she refused to allow this to ruin it.