Love Redeemed, Book 4 (15 page)

It
’s then that I see Tara moseying into the office, wearing the same bemused expression as Rayna a few seconds before.

“Yes,” I respond to Rayna, regretting having to let go. “I hope I didn’t disrupt you from tending to a patient.”

“Not exactly,” she murmurs. I can tell she’s still curious as to why I’ve asked her over.

Not seeing a reason to delay it, I br
eak our embrace and lead her around to one of the chairs facing my desk. Smoothing my tie as I take my seat behind it, I ask Tara, “A seat please, Tara.” Dubiously, she acquiesces.

I d
on’t want to give drama an opportunity to erupt, so I kick off the assembly, “So, Tara, what brings you to
Optimal Health Recreation Center
?”

With strained narrowed eyes, Tara turns to Rayna, who throws a
don’t look at me
glance her way.

“Time, Tara. Neither I nor Ms. Brimm here have a lot of time. We’re in the middle of a workday.
” I minimize the curt in my tone. “Please…your reason for being here.”

I c
an see Tara swallow as her bewildered eyes bounces between Rayna and me before she speaks. “My father.” Her eyes flutter. “I’m sure you’ve heard he’s been arrested on fabricated charges.” She wets her lips, a fortifying move. “Listen, Azmir, I don’t know what’s gotten into you…why you no longer speak with him. I mean, I know what’s happened between us, but my god, we’ve lost my mom, then you, and now my dad…” She was willing herself not to cry.

I glance over to Rayna, my eyes only, to see her captivated by Tara’s emotional state, and likely curious as to what
is going on here. I give Tara a minute to continue, but when she doesn’t, I break the silence.

“And what brought you here today is…?” I spe
ak as evenly as I can.

“I moved out of my apartment, just before having the—I mean, my baby. Daddy said he needed to cut back on expenses and we agreed that I’d
need help with the baby. So, now with him being inconvenienced with these trumped up charges, I’m having trouble maintaining the bills along with my hospital bills and Azina’s doctor bills.”

Rayna clear
s her throat at the mention of Tara’s daughter’s name. I still don’t know what inspired the audacity of her to name her child after me when she knew it would eventually be proven that the baby isn’t mine. What also strikes me is the mention of her hospital bills. I know the total cost of them. Big D could have easily paid off each one without sneezing, but he’s blown all of his money gambling over the years. I know they’ve been waiting on the payout from Patricia’s various policies, which I find pathetic considering Big D has made millions over the past twenty years.

I agreed to assist until some money came through and D would keep
his law enforcement relationships in place until the end of the year when I’d retire from the drug game. I didn’t trust him or Tara when we agreed that I’d help until some monies became available to Big D, then he’d take over. So, I only paid a little at a time, refusing to get her totally out of that debt. My gut never led me wrong. Her bills were her burden alone.

Most people would
n’t understand that my grievances with Big D aren’t so much that he killed my father; I dealt with not having a father long ago. These new revelations haven’t changed my resolve. Maybe one day I’ll get the full spectrum of what my father’s murder at the hands of Big D means, but right now it hasn’t formulated in my mind. My betrayal is conceptualizing the grand scheme of D’s mastermind. He’s been a menacing son of bitch. He took out his partner who was in the way, and then used the dead man’s son to build an empire. The empire that his partner no longer wanted to pursue.

I c
an understand ruthlessness, I’ve been bedfellows with the means to conquering more times than I’d like to recount. But I’ve always been loyal, never crossing those who work with me. Never directly involving children to further my illegal ambition. Big D’s ultimate perfidy of my father is one thing; his manipulation of me is something entirely different. Anyone outside of the game would think I’m still being manipulated by this final act of obligation, but even D himself knows we were done. Yeah, I have a conscience and don’t wish to see Tara impoverished. But I also have a heart that has been misled by the Harrisons. And this is where it ends.

“Tara, I have access to monies
that your father has laid aside for emergencies such as this one. It’s $350K and will be available to you by the end of the workday tomorrow.” I pull out a sheet of paper and push it along with a pen across my desk to her. “Please supply me with an account to have it deposited into or where you’d like the cash to be delivered to.”

Tara pushe
s up from her seat to retrieve the paper and pen. And Rayna sits quietly with a stoic expression. I try not to read into it so that it won’t take my attention from what’s happening.

“Now, Tara, I must inform you that I’m
not in the knowledge of how your father earned this money or where it came from. Also, I’m not at liberty to discuss the details of the arrangement he and I made for such a time as this. Any questions you may have should be addressed to him.” I pause to gauge her state.

She appears
just as nonplussed as Rayna, who I’ll deal with later. Right now, I just need her to perceive this as me being open with her on my dealings with the Harrisons.

Once Tara finishe
s with the paper, she returns it to my desk and I can see the brewing in her eyes. I was with Tara long enough to know when her emotions are tumbling forward. And within seconds she mutters, “I thought I knew you. I thought that by being with you for more than five years and knowing you nearly all my life that I knew you inside and out.” Tara then cuts her eyes to Rayna. Rayna straightens and cocks her head to the side, preparing for whatever Tara was going to bring. Tara continues with, “The Azmir I thought I knew would have never abandoned the only family he’s known when my mother was killed in an automobile accident. The one I knew wouldn’t have left me during the loneliest period of my life, even if we had unanswered questions about the paternity of my child, especially because I was mourning.”

She turn
s to me to finish her tirade. “She was the only mother you’ve ever known. She treated you well, although my father brought you to her as nothing more than an orphan of a former colleague. You ate at her table, spent family holidays with her.” Tara exhales in disgust. “And my father. He took you under his wing even though we all knew you were trapped in that street mentality. My father risked his professional, law enforcement career and reputation to take you in and provide you with some semblance of family.

“He’
s given you the money from my grandfather’s will to use as capital for your business. You were only twenty-five years old—a kid! And look at you now, Mr. Multi-Millionaire.” She uses air quotations. “Yeah, I read that fluffed piece in
Vibe
. Cute. Too bad it was greatly fabricated. What would have been fact is you telling them that before you were even old enough to drink, my father made sure you had a roof over your head and food to eat…”

Tara pauses
, overcome with grief and under false pretenses. She has no idea that Big D has never put a roof over my head. I hustled to earn the pennies I garnered in my early years of slinging to pay my rent. She has no idea that when D would drop by my crib on their way to dinner at a four star restaurant, that I would be covertly passing him off his cut. He’s been able to keep the essence of our relationship from Tara and her mother. I was able to do the same once Tara and I began to see each other. And him giving me startup money was just a ploy just in case it was ever questioned where we’d
both
got our start from. Big D was never bestowed money from his father. He paid a lawyer to manufacture a spotty and antiquated money trail. D ain’t never
give
me shit; only a world of opportunities.

“He saw you to being a man
,” she continues. “He let you take his daughter from him to date. My father trusted you with everything—look at what you’re doing here today! You’re giving me money he’s only entrusted
you
with! This is evidence of his commitment to your relationship. And now, because we’ve hit a few hard bumps in the road, you up and pass us off like a business transaction? As if we didn’t give you the privilege of entering our circle. Like we’ve given you no loyalty.”

Tara brush
es frustration from her face, her emotional control quickly abating. As I sit back cupping my chin, giving her time, she arches her neck so that her face is toward the ceiling. I can tell that her father’s arrest has taken its toll on her. After some time, her glower goes to Rayna, who watches her closely.

“And what
’s she doing here? What’s the purpose of her having to be in the same room when we talk? Do we not have history, Azmir? The type of history that we could speak about family matters alone? Has it come to this? Has she brainwashed you?” Tara’s wild eyes settle on me, summonsing answers. Answers that would never come. “Azmir, do you not have an ounce of loyalty?

I
don’t move from my position across from her, but can see Rayna’s face contorting in frustration. She starts shifting in her seat, attempting to stifle an outburst. I didn’t invite her in here for that, and I’ve also had enough with Tara and her petulance. I decide to reel this conversation back in.

“
Has he made you aware of his charges?”

Tara’s eyes,
enlarge again, shooting up to meet my gaze. “
N
-no…well, I’ve heard talks of—”

“F
irst degree murder. Do you know who the victim is?”

Tara narrow
s her eyes and bites out, “No.”

“My father.”

Tara’s almond skin pales, in total shock. “Your…your father? This can’t be true. My father isn’t a murderer—you know this, Azmir!”

“I know the evidence against him is stacked high. I know that your father has done nothing but manipulate me over the years. I know that by him allowing me to fu
ck you all those years, he was ensuring a future for you, not letting me into this mystical circle of trust that you have flights of fancy of. He’s always had ulterior motives, Tara.”

I fight
to remain calm. In a flash, I think about Big D visiting Rayna, scaring the shit out of her with lies and propaganda.

“
Seems you’re not the only Harrison with an issue of loyalty. You’ve no idea of the offenses of your father. I do, and yet I’m here, carrying out wishes he made when our relationship was still intact. Implementing the plan that was created when I believed…I was his…son.” Tara sits stiff in her seat; I’m sure, trying to process my words. “The money will be made available to you by five p.m. tomorrow. Have a wonderful life.”

“It will be…It has been since you’ve been out of it,” Tara snarl
s. “No more of your arrogance and mystique. No more having to guess what you’re thinking and how you feel about me. And no more of silently seeking your approval,” she swears before turning to Rayna. “The looks, I get it. The bad boy persona, I understand. How well he can put together his million dollar words, I’ve fallen for, too. His money is a universal draw to all women. The package is unbelievable, but not having all of him will drain you. There will always be secrets of his essence that he will keep. And you will be standing outside of him, just like the rest of us.” Tara blinks back the tears and Rayna studies her features. “No one gets inside of Azmir Divine Jacobs’ head. Remember that.”

Tara then rises from her seat and makes her way to the door. Before I kn
ow it, Rayna calls out to her as she stands herself. Tara turns to answer without thought.

“I’m in his heart. I’m not sure what the crux of your issues with him was when you were together, but perhaps if you
had focused on that…his heart…” Rayna’s voice trails off. “That’s what I’ve attained and where I believe is a good start at being
inside
.”

After a couple of seconds
of measuring Rayna’s words, Tara leaves the office, slamming the door behind her. Rayna’s chestnut irises meet mine and we gaze at one another, silently posing questions that somehow decidedly won’t pour from our mouths. It’s okay, because oddly, we both express acceptance. Hers of me asking her to come over to witness me saying my final goodbyes to a former life. And mine of her affirming her position in my world. Words aren’t adequate for this moment; only the exchange of kindred energies is. 

And before I kno
w it, Rayna reaches over, caresses the side of my face covered with hair and whispers, “I have to get back to work.”

I nod my head, understanding she ha
s patients to see. Rayna bends over and across my desk, covers her lips with mine, giving me the most impassioned kiss. Her tongue tastes of fierce commitment as it moves forcefully and her hand continues to stroke my cheek. The next thing I know, she’s gone. But a piece of her lingers and far beyond her scent alone. I feel a slither of hope for this thing we are building.

Just hang on in there with me, Brimm…

~~~~~~~~~~