Love, Rosie (183 page)

The
Rosie
Dunne
Foundation
for
Women
Who
Haven’t
Seen
Their

Best
Friends
in
America
for
Ages.

That’s
a
good
charity.
Very
needy
too.

Indeed
it
is.
I
think
I’ll
give
it
to
one
woman
in
particular
who
is
in

dire
need
of
a
bit
of
TLC.

Excellent
idea.
I’m
sure
the
poor
deprived
woman
will
be
delighted

with
your
donation.
When
do
you
think
she
and
her
daughter
will

be
visiting
their
doctor
friend?

Rosie:

I
already
booked
them
a
flight
for
Friday
week.
They
land
at
nine
in

the
morning
and
they’ll
be
staying
a
fortnight.
You’re
right;
giving

makes
me
feel
like
such
a
better
person.

Alex:

Rosie:

Ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
you
had
this
all
planned?
I’ll
be
there
to
pick
you

up
so.

Good,
by
the
way
you
still
haven’t
said
anything
about
my
job.

276

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Cecelia
Ahern

Job?
You
got
a
job?
When?
Where?
What
are
you
doing?

Alex
I’ve
only
left
approximately
22,496
messages
on
your
answer-

ing
machine
explaining
this.
Don’t
you
listen
to
them?

I
do!
But
there’s
never
any
from
you.
I
think
you’re
dialing
the

wrong
number.

Bullshit.
I
think
you
need
to
keep
an
eye
on
that
Bethany
when
she’s

nosying
around
your
apartment.
She
might
accidentally
be
knocking

her
fake
boobs
against
the
“delete”
button.

Alex:

Don’t
start
this
crap
again
Rosie.
Beth
has
no
quarrels
with
you
and

her
boobs
are
not
fake.
You
haven’t
seen
her
for
more
than
ten
years

so
how
would
you
no?

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

I’ve
seen
the
photographs
in
the
paper
and
they
are
fake.

Whatever.
So
what’s
the
job?

Promise
not
to
laugh.

I
won’t.

You
have
to
promise
.

I
promise.

I’m
starting
in
August
as
a
secretary
in
St.
Patrick’s
Secondary

School.

You’re
going
back
.
.
.
there
?
But
our
sentence
is
up!
Hold
on
a

minute
.
.
.
that
means
that,
oh
my
god,
you’re
going
to
be
working

with
Ms.
Big
Nose
Smelly
Breath
Casey!
Why?

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Alex:

Rosie:

Because
I
need
the
money.

Wouldn’t
you
rather
starve?!
Why
on
earth
did
she
hire
you?

I’m
wondering
the
same
thing.

Ha
ha
ha
ha
ha.

You
said
you
wouldn’t
laugh.

Ha
ha
ha
ha.

You
promised!

Ha
ha
ha
ha.

Oh
bugger
off.

Rosie
has
logged
off

love,
rosie

277

Dear
Rosie
and
Katie,