Love, Rosie (40 page)

on
so
I
sent
her
down
to
stay
at
Toby’s
house.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Honestly
don’t
some
people
understand
the
meaning
of
the
word

DIVORCE?

Ha
ha,
well,
it’s
a
magic
word
for
you.

I
would
appreciate
it
if
you
wouldn’t
make
fun
of
a
devastatingly

difficult
time
in
my
life
that
left
me
feeling
shattered
and
emotion-

ally
distraught.

Rosie:

Oh
please!
Getting
that
divorce
was
the
happiest
day
of
your

life!
You
bought
the
most
expensive
bottle
of
champagne,

love,
rosie

67

went
out
clubbing,
and
you
snogged
the
ugliest
man
in
the

world
.
.
.

Ruby:

Ah
well
people
have
their
different
ways
of
grieving
.
.
.
OK
well
it

was
a
happier
feeling
than
the
one
I
had
on
my
wedding
day
.
.
.

The
wedding
day
feeling
was
kind
of
“Uh
oh
.
.
.”

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Have
you
finished
typing
up
all
that
crap
Randy
Andy
gave
us?

No
I
haven’t.
Have
you?

No.

Good
let’s
take
a
coffee
break
as
a
reward.
We
really
shouldn’t

overwork
ourselves.
I
hear
it’s
quite
dangerous.
Will
you
bring
your

fags,
I
forgot
mine.

Rosie:

Ruby:

Yep
meet
you
downstairs
in
five
minutes.

It’s
a
date.
Gosh
how
exciting.
Neither
of
us
has
been
on
one
of

them
for
a
while
.
.
.

You
have
an
instant
message
from:
RUBY

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Where
the
hell
were
you?
I
waited
for
you
in
the
café
for
a
half
an

hour!

Oh
what
hell
for
you
Ruby!

Yes
I
had
to
force
myself
to
eat
two
chocolate
muffins
and
a
slice
of

apple
pie.
Oh
it
was
awful
Rosie
.
.
.
if
only
you
had
been
there
.
.
.

Sorry
about
that,
Randy
Andy
here
wouldn’t
let
me
leave
the
office.

Oh
he
is
such
a
slave
driver!
You
should
complain
to
head
office,
get

the
asshole
fired.

He
is
head
office.

Oh
yeah.

Well
in
all
fairness
Ruby,
he
may
be
a
prick
but
we
did
just
take
a

break
an
hour
ago
.
.
.
and
it
was
our
third
one
in
less
than
three

hours
.
.
.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

You
are
turning
into
one
of
THEM!

I
have
a
child
to
feed.

As
do
I.

68

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

That
child
feeds
himself,
Ruby.

Cecelia
Ahern

Ah
leave
my
little
fatso
alone.
He’s
my
baby
and
I
love
him
regardless.