Love Through Pain (10 page)

“You have one more month, and you’ll be home
,” he said, fighting the overwhelming sadness that washed through him—knowing she was leaving him. “Thanks for helping Lucy out, but you should’ve waited for me. What if those girls would’ve had weapons?”

“They didn’t. Bullies usually target people they think wouldn’t stand up to them, and now Lucy has the upper hand. She has two videos
, one with evidence and one showing her bully being vulnerable. So you see, they won’t be messing with her anymore.”

“She thinks you’re awesome.” He laid his head in the crook of her neck.

Jazmine grabbed his hands and put them over her stomach, the baby was kicking.

“And she’s not the only one that thinks that.” He kissed her neck. “Is it okay if I sleep with you tonight
? Lucy won’t give up the couch.”

She snuggled closer to him,
and then she took his hand, moving it toward her lips and kissing it. “Javier, I feel safe anytime you’re near.”

“I will always protect you
.” He felt her breathing change. Jazmine had fallen asleep. He kissed her head and closed his eyes.

Chapter Fourteen

Javier dropped his sister off at his parents’ house, and
then drove to Monica’s apartment to talk to her.

At her place, he knocked on her door. He hoped this went well.

Monica had a huge smile on her face when she swung the door open. “Javy…” She threw herself in his arms.

At a loss at what to do
, he accepted her embrace. “Hi.”

“I’ve missed you
.” She pressed her mouth to his. “Come in.” Taking him by the hand, she yanked him into her apartment, kicking the door shut.

Javier followed her over to the sofa, and took a seat.

Monica waited until he sat, and straddled his lap. “Did you miss me?” She ground down on his crotch.

He gripped her hips to prevent her from moving. “We need to talk first.”

“We can talk later.” She took his hands and placed them on her breasts.

“No, we need to talk now.” He grabbed her by the waist and sat her next to him. “Before we hop in
to bed, I want us to be clear about where our relationship is going.”

“You’re my boyfriend.” She touched his forearm.

He held her hand in his. “I think we need to start over. I’ll be leaving in a few months, and I think we should see if we can survive a long distant relationship.”

“We have
; you live two hours away.” She gazed lovingly up at him.

“Monica
, I haven’t seen you since you broke up with me four months ago. What kind of a relationship is that?”

“What are you saying?” She pulled her hand back.

“I think we should see other people until we know for sure this is what we want.” He stood.

“What the fuck?” She raised her voice. “Are you seeing someone else?”

“No,” he sighed, “but even if I was, you broke up with me.”

She stood. “You’re right, we should take a break.” Monica strolled up to him, and
then wrapped her hands around his neck. “That doesn’t mean we can’t fuck.”

Javier knew she was up to something
. She’d never given in so easily before, but he needed to get laid. His lips met hers, and he plundered her mouth.

“Hmmm
, that’s what I’m talking about.” She combed her fingers through his hair. “I missed you, baby.”

She took his hand in hers and led him to her bedroom.

***

Javier and Monica arrived to his parents’ house. Everyone was already there, sitting at the dining table. Monica’s parents, her sister Elissa
, and brother Frankie were seated on one side. His dad, Jose, Lucy, Carlitos, and a female he didn’t know sat on the other.

“Bendi
ción,” he told his father.

“Que Dios te bendiga
,” his dad, Papo, answered.

“Good Afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Garcia
.” He kissed Monica’s mother, passing by and shaking Frankie’s hand; he’d shaved off his brown hair. “Long time no see, dude.”

“Sorry I missed you birthday, but something came up.”

“No worries.”

“Carlitos
.” He kissed his head. He sat next to his brother, and gave him a hug. “Nice to see you here.”

“Nice to be here. You look good.” Jose pushed back his chair
. “Vanessa, this is my brother, Javier.”

Javier extended his hand and shook hers. “Nice to meet you.”

“Where’s Mom?” Javier searched the room.

“In the kitchen, grabbing some more napkins
,” Lucy answered.

“This celebration is for you
, and you’re late,” his dad said in a stern voice, staring at him and Monica.

He stared at his dad. “Celebration for what?”

“Your son.” His dad was excited.

Monica’s family all stared at her.

“You’re pregnant,” her dad asked, his nose flaring.

“Papa
, no,” Monica raised her voice. “He’s adopting some black chick’s baby.”

Here goes
, he thought. His father stared at him. “A what!”

Monica smirked
, she knew what she was doing.

“I’m adopting a baby,” Javier
grabbed the spoon, serving himself some food.

His brother patted his back. “Congratulations! You’re finally going to be a dad.”

“Thanks.”

“Is she a black Hispanic?”
His dad eyebrows met.

“Nope, she’s a beautiful African-American
,” Lucy chimed in, putting down her fork.

Javier winked at his sister. “Does the race of the baby’s mother matter
? I’m raising him.”

“No fucking son of mine will be raising a black baby.”

Javier clenched his jaw, pushing his plate away before eating a bite, losing his appetite. “I think you forget something, dad. I’m a grown man who doesn’t need your permission for shit.” He shot his dad a dirty look.

“It’s about damn time
,” Jose mumbled.

“Now you’re disrespecting me.” His father stood. “What do you know about raising a black baby?”

Javier stared up at him. “What’s the different in raising any race?”

Everyone was quiet, listening to the conversation. He could see Monica smiling from the corner of his eye.

“There are a lot of Hispanic children waiting to get adopted, and you pick a African-American.”

“Ya…”
His mother entered the room, and everyone watched her. “Don’t you dare talk about my unborn grandson that way.”

“You didn’t tell me the baby was black.” His dad frowned at his mother.

“It shouldn’t matter. I raised them to treat everyone equal,” she said, coming into the room with napkins in her hands.

“Why don’t you go and get someone fucking pregnant like your brother did?”

Jose’s mouth opened to say something, but he must’ve decided against it and continued eating. Jose had gotten the neighbor’s daughter, Olga, pregnant, and they disowned her. She was away at college and came to see Carlitos whenever she could. Olga was moving back home in a couple of months, and his nephew would be moving in with her.

Javier smirked, and
then glared at his father. “What if I married a black girl, and then get her pregnant?”

“Are you in love with this girl?”
his dad asked. Monica stopped smiling and waited for his answer.

“Does it matter?
” his mom asked. “That has nothing to do with my grandson.”

“It matters
, she’ll break his heart,” his father responded.

Javier stared at hi
s parents. “You didn’t answer my question. What if he was biologically mine?”

“Then that baby won’t be my grandchild either.”

“So, what you’re telling me is, you’d disown your own grandchild?” The vein in Javier’s neck began to throb he was so angry.

His dad was about to answer.

“Enough, Papo.” His mom threw the napkins on the table. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“We are not talking about shit later.” His dad slammed his fist on the table. “He is not my grandson!”

Javier stood. “You don’t have to worry about being in my son’s life. He doesn’t need you; ‘cause one thing is for sure, I’ll be a better father than you.” He walked over to his mother and kissed her cheek. “Bendición.”

“You’re dad doesn’t mean what he’s saying
.” His mother’s tears threatened to fall. “Javy, don’t leave like this.”

“I have to, because I don’t want to disrespect your house.” He kissed her again, and started walking out.

“Javy, for what it’s worth,” his brother yelled. “What you’re doing is awesome.”

He kept marching out
, listening to his parents arguing.

Thank God, Jazmine didn’t want to come
, he thought, jumping into his truck

***

Javier was still angry when he entered his house. He’d never seen this side of his father. He was hardly ever home—working as a trucker—but he never imagined his dad was that prejudiced; if she was a black Hispanic he wouldn’t care. His mom always said, everybody was equal, no matter what.

He slammed the door shut, and leaned against it.

“Are you okay?” Jazmine stood a few feet away from him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”
he answered, pushing himself off of the door.

Jazmine followed him. “Your mom called
, she was worried about you.”

“Why?” He continued to the kitchen
, and leaned against the counter.

“She said you got in an argument with your dad
.” Jazmine was concerned.

He turned
, staring at her. “What else did she say?”

“She was just worried about you.”

“My father was just being an asshole.” He hit the counter with his fist.

“Is it about the baby?”
Her eyes pierced his.

“It doesn’t matter
, Jazmine.” He moved closer to her, and touched her belly. “He’s my son, no matter what anyone one has to say.”

“Thank God
.” She took a lengthy breath. “I don’t think I could’ve survived if you would’ve told me you’d changed your mind.” A tear escaped her left eye.

His gently wiped
it away with his thumb. “I would never do that to him, or you.”

Javier wrapped his arms around her, and Jazmine accepted his embrace. “Good
‘cause he’ll probably be here in less than a month.”

He pulled away and drew a black velvet bag out his pocket.

She stared at his hand. “What’s that?”

He opened it, pulling out a bracelet. “For you
, give me your hand.”

Her eyes shined with unshed tears, as she lifted her wrist. He placed the gold bracelet around her wrist and secured it.  She gently touched every detail on it. It was her name,
Jazmine,
with initials at the end,
N. J. M.

“N. J. M.?”
She still stared at the gold and diamond bracelet.

“It’s my son’s initials
. You said you didn’t want to know his name, but this way you have a piece of him with you. Turn it around.”

She flipped it. His phone number was engraved in it.

“Jazmine,” he cupped her face, “if you ever need me just call, and I will move heaven and earth to make it to you.”

She just gazed into his amazing brown irise
s. Javier lost it for a few seconds, needing to feel her lips at least once. He bowed his head, and she met him halfway. Their lips touched, and he felt electricity he’d never experienced with anyone, not even Sandra. The kiss wasn’t passionate, but he felt his whole body go numb. Jazmine’s lips were soft and tasted sweet.

Javier broke their connection, and her eyes were still closed. He caressed her neck as she opened her eyes. “I will always be here for you.”

Chapter
Fifteen

It was a Saturday afternoon, and Javier was home alone. Jazmine had one of her focus group things to attend. He’d insisted she should stop working until the baby was born, but she said she couldn’t take any time off from work.

The doorbell rang, and he rose, he wiped his eyes, and stared through the peephole.

He opened the door. “Monica, what are you doing here?” Irritation colored his words. He didn’t like unexpected visitors.

“I came to check up on a friend.” She squeezed by and entered his home.

Monica flounced through the room and plopped on
to the couch. He closed the door with his foot.

“Javy, I know you were mad at me for telling your dad she was black
, but I thought he knew,” she said nonchalantly.

He stood glaring at her. “You knew exactly what you were doing
, but as you can tell it didn’t work. My son will be here very soon.”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you. I want to help you with him when he’s born.”

He walked over to her, and sat. “Why?”

“I thought about it
, baby, I love you, and if this is what you want. I’m here to support you.” She grasped his hand.

“When did this change?”
He narrowed his eyes.

“Javy, I love you, and I know you said we’ll take things slowly.” She eased next to him. “But I want you, no matter how far
away you’ll be.” Monica nuzzled his neck.

His cock throbbed. “Monica…”

She gazed at him.

“I’m not ready for marriage.”

“But you’re ready for a baby?” She placed her palms on his chest.

“It’s different
.” He pushed up, wrapping his fingers around her ass.

“How?” She arched her brow.

They both stared at the door when they heard it click.
Fuck,
his first thought
, Jazmine
.

The door opened, and he saw Jazmine’s eyes widen in surprise to see Monica, but he also saw a little pain in her grimace.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Jazmine stood at the threshold.

“Jazz, it’s okay
.” He jumped, moving Monica off his lap. He knew how it looked, he didn’t have a shirt on, and she was sitting on him.

“What is she doing here?” Monica
’s arms crossed over her breast.

Jazmine ran out
of the area to their bedroom.

He rushed after her, but the door was locked. He didn’t like the hurt he saw in Jazmine’s eyes
; he knocked lightly, and she didn’t answer, making him sigh.
What was going on
? When he returned to Monica, she was angry, her face was red and her lips thinned into a near invisible line. “What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t need to explain shit to you.”

“Excuse me, yes you do. You ask me for time, for what? To see her?” Her hands were flailing in front of her as she spoke.

“She’s here until the baby’s born
, and then she’s disappearing. So no, she’s not the reason,
you
are.” He raised his voice. “I can’t take all the accusations and distrust.”

“But you cheated on me
,” Monica whined.

“Yes
, you’re right Monica. I made a mistake.” He tried to calm down and see things her way. “But you tend to forget, you’ve done your dirt; the only difference is, I don’t throw it in your face.”

“Arrrr,” she growled, walking to the door. “When the baby is born I will still help you.” She slammed the door behind her.

She’s fucking crazy,
he thought.

***

Jazmine didn’t know what came over her, the anger she felt when she saw Javier with Monica. She’d been having weird feelings for Javy. But this was only supposed to be about the baby, and now, she was falling for him. She’d never had a problem telling anyone what she thought, and this time wouldn’t be different.

She slipped out of the bed, and started packing her suitcase. It was about that time
—every night he came in around nine to read to his son. She rubbed her tummy. “You’re going to have the best daddy.” Her eyes filled with tears. “That’s my gift to you.”

Right on cue, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

He had a smile on his face as he pushed the door open, until he saw her packing her suitcases. “You’re leaving?”
He stalked closer to her.

“Yes,” she answered without looking at him
.

“Why?”

She didn’t answer, as she continued folding her clothes.

He took the clothes from her, and gently clutched her hand. “Jazz, why are you leaving? Did I do something wrong?”
He stared at her with those fathomless eyes.

She was holding in the tears
, not allowing them to spill until he lifted her chin up to meet his gaze. “Tell me.”

Her lips trembled. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then why are you leaving? Is it because Monica was here? If it is, I’ll tell her not to come by.”

“What
? No, this is your house, and you can have anyone you want over.”

“You’re supposed to stay here until the baby’s born.” Concern etched his tone.

“I’m going back to the hotel until the baby’s born. I’ll call you when I’m in labor.” She peered down.

“Look at me.”

She lifted her gaze.

“We were having fun, getting to know each other. I will even go as far to say we’ve become friends, so tell me the truth.”

“I have feelings for you,” she whispered.

He stared at her in surprise. “What?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen, this was supposed to be about you adopting this baby, and somewhere in-between, my emotions got involved. You’ve done everything right.” She backed away, wiping at her cheeks.

“I haven’t done everything right if you’re leaving
.” He gazed at her, not moving a muscle.

She stared at him. “At first I thought it was because I see you as my hero, the man that saved me. Maybe I was confusing my feelings, and then you offered to raise my baby.” She took a deep breath
. “But then I got to know you, the way you already treat him, the way you treat me—I have to move out, out of respect for you and Monica.”

He just stared at her.

“I know, I misunderstood your actions, but I can’t help it.” She stared at him. “I know you don’t feel the same way I do.”

He took three strides and stood in front of her. Javier cupped her face with his hands, and wiped her tears with his thumbs. He gazed into her eyes. “You’re wrong.”

In one swift move, he captured her mouth with his, catching her off guard. She wasn’t expecting it. His tongue teased her lips open, and he gently licked at the crease of her mouth. Javier sucked on her lips, and then her tongue as her hands made their way to his neck, pulling him closer, enjoying the way his tongue glided over hers. Jazmine could feel moisture leaking from her core. The kiss was passionate, full of desire; his hands pulled her hair. Her legs buckled, but he held her flush against his form. He nipped her bottom lip and pulled back, gasping for air, never breaking eye contact with her.

“I have feelings for you
, too,” he whispered against her lips.

Her chest heaved up and down. This wasn’t supposed to happen
, he was supposed to say he didn’t return her feelings.

“I have to leave,” she
whimpered, breaking their connection and rushing to her suitcase, slamming it.

He just stood there watching her.

She went to pass by him, and he gripped her wrist. “Why are you running?”

“Because, I don’t want this,” she rubbed her stomach, “but you do.”

He released his hold on her.

“Javier
, after this baby is born, please let me go. Don’t look for me.” She tried not to look back, leaving the bedroom, moving straight toward the front door.

He followed her but didn’t say anything.

She stopped, looking back. “Thank you for everything. You and Monica will make great parents to this baby.” She opened the door and stepped into the evening, closing the door behind her.
Bye.