Love Through Pain (12 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Javier drove to his parents’ home. He wanted to see them before he left
for his new command.  Nicky was sound asleep in the back seat of his new SUV. He watched him from his rearview mirror, and smiled. Jazmine gave him the best gift any woman could give him, a son. Another box with baby items: like bottles, more books, clothes, and several saving bonds, arrived in the mail, but it didn’t have a return address. He knew Jazmine loved her son, and she needed to be part of his life. She’d made the only decision she thought she could.
I should’ve pushed harder, I should’ve told her how I felt, maybe then she would’ve change her mind.

He pulled into their driveway, and parked. Javier stepped out of his truck
and walked to the back door to open it. He unhooked the seat and took Nicky out. Proudly, he strolled up to his parents’ house, and the front door swung open before he could knock.

Monica was standing there with a smile on her face. “Hi
, Javy.”

“Monica
.” He nodded and squeezed past her, entering his family’s home.

His mom took fast
strides from the kitchen. “Mi ñieto.” She grabbed the car seat from his hands.

“Bendici
ón, Ma.” He kissed her.

She ignored him and began taking the baby out his seat.

“Ma, I’m talking to you.” He laughed, watching her as she gently picked Nicky up.

His mom kissed his chunky cheeks. “Que Dios te bendiga Javy.” She cradled the baby in her arms and turned to Monica. “Monica
, this is my grandbaby, Nicolas. Isn’t he bello?” She raised the baby up so Monica could see him clearly.

Monica turned to Javier with a dumbfounded look on her face,
and her lips thinned. “Javy, can we have a minute?” She marched toward the backyard.

Javier kissed his son on his head, and
then slowly followed her out.
Thank God I’m leaving,
he thought. He put up with Monica’s shit because of his family, and yes, the sex was good.

He was going try to leave on a good note, so he was going to be nice. Her hair was up in a high ponytail
, and she wore a tank top and tight jeans. “You look nice.” He observed her thin figure.

“Tell me the truth
.” Monica pointed her index finger at him.

He shook his head,
here goes.
“What truth?”

She folded her
arms over her chest. “He’s yours!” she roared.

He just stared at her
, he wasn’t going to play guessing games.

“That baby is really yours.” Monica’s finger now pointed to the house as her face turned red. “Why would you tell everyone that you were adopting him, when
clearly he’s your biological son.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He lashed out.

“You might’ve fooled everybody, but you’re not fooling me.” She talked with her hands. “That baby isn’t just black, he has your hair and eyes.”

Javier lips curled into a smirked.

“You fucked la morena esa, and got her pregnant.” She paced. “You cheated on me again with that fucking nig—”

He took one step right in front of her, and pointed. “I’m going tell you this for the last time
, I didn’t mess around on you, but I won’t allow you to insult Jazmine.”

Her mouth formed an O
. She went to speak, but he continued.

“My DNA does not run
through his body, but Nicolas is my son in every way that counts.” Javier lowered his hand, and then turned, walking back into the house.

She followed him in and grabbed her purse. “Maria
, I’ll see you later.” She turned, staring at him. “We are over.”

Javier laughed, taking his baby from his mom. “Monica
, we don’t have anything to end.”

She stomped her feet like a child
, and grunted.

“Javier
, that wasn’t nice.” His mom scolded him.

“It’s the truth
; I only stayed with her because of you.” He stared at his mother. “It’s what you and her mother wanted, and I tried to please you, but I’m over it now. I’m doing what makes me happy, not what always pleases my family.”

“Hijo.”

“Sorry Ma, but it was time I told you how I really feel.” He patted his son on his back.

Monica put her hand on her hip. “So you used me for sex?” Her quiet words took on an ominous tone

“I don’t need to hear this, let me take mi gordo upstairs.” His mom took the baby, and then started trudging up the stairs.

Javier waited until he heard his mom close her door.

“No, Monica, I could get sex anywhere. We grew up together, and you were familiar to me. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I’m not stringing you along any longer.”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” She placed her hand on the doorknob.

He walked up to her and placed his hand on hers. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, hopefully we can remain friends.”

She smacked his hands off hers, and turned. “Fuck you, Javier!”

“Monica, you can do better than me,” he sincerely said.

She gave him a dirty stare. “I know I can do better than you
. I was just keeping our families happy too, but I don’t need you.”

“Look
, I came here to say bye to my family, not argue with you.” He stepped aside, opening the door. “I thought we could still be friends, but now I see I was wrong.”

“Vete pal Carajo, pendejo!” she
screamed and left the house.

He slammed the door,
finally over.

Javier ran up the stairs
, taking them two at a time, feeling good about finally getting through to Monica. He entered his mother’s room and smiled when he saw his mother, Lucy, and Carlitos playing with his son.

“Tio!” Carlitos
yelled, jumping off the bed and running up to him.

“Mama is coming to stay, and papa has been picking me up
,” Carlitos said, excited.

“
Que bueno.” Javier looked over at his mom.

“Yes, Olga is finally coming back home.” His mother nuzzled Nicky’s neck, making him giggle.

“Tio, I’m going to miss you.” Carlitos hugged his leg.

Javier messed up his nephew
’s hair. “You can come visit me.”

“Okay
.” Carlitos went back on the bed and kissed his cousin’s forehead.

Javier lay on the bed with his family, talking, laughing
, and playing. In a few days, he wouldn’t be able to jump into his SUV and come home anymore. He kissed his sister on her head, feeling sad.

“I’m going to miss you guys
.” He gazed at his family.

His mo
m caressed the baby’s chunky cheeks. “Javy, I’m going to miss you and my gordo.” She tickled Nicky’s foot.

“Nicky could pass as Carlitos brother,” Lucy said
. He hadn’t noticed it before, but he did resemble his nephew. That was a good thing. “But, he also looks like you.”

“Yes, he does
…” Javier kissed his son’s tiny fingers, making him smile.

Lucy rolled over to Javier and hugged him tight. “I’m going miss you
, too.”

He wiped her tears. “You can always come and visit.”

Javier was a bit emotional, but he knew he needed a new start—somewhere far from his family.

Chapter Nineteen

Jazmine wandered through her parent
’s home, nothing had changed, but nothing seemed the same either. Her heart was broken, and she couldn’t escape an incomplete feeling.  She couldn’t get her baby boy out of her mind, and all she saw were his hair, lips, and fingers. Her body yearned for him; it had been three months, and every day she picked up the phone to call Javier, and then slammed it down against her desk.

That last kiss with Javier
—he’d imprinted his lips on hers. She missed his smile and his voice. He’d become her safe haven, and now that he was gone, she felt lost. It was difficult putting her life back together, but slowly she was coming into her own. She’d always been a beast at work, but now it was her sole focus. She would not let those bastards win. She’d even tried going out with her ex, Malcolm, but that turned out to be a disaster. Jazmine couldn’t handle being touched by anyone except for Javier.

She touched her lips, remembering their kiss.

“Jazzy,” her dad called her out of her thoughts.

Jazmine visited her parents every other Sunday. They lived about an hour away from her. She wondered what Javier and her son were doing.

“Yes, dad,” Jazmine continued, staring out of the window.

“What’s wrong?” He placed his hand on her shoulder.

She gave him a fake smile. “Nothing.”

“Sweetie, don’t lie to me. Since you’ve been back from your trip, you haven’t been the same.”

“I don’t know what you’re taking about.”

He gently squeezed her shoulder. “Your spark is missing
. You used to be so full of energy. Where’s your joy? It’s like someone took it from you.”

She turned
, looking at his shiny baldhead, and then into his eyes, trying to give him the best smile she could. “Dad, I’m fine.”

“Why haven’t you been to church?”

Jazmine smirked, thinking about the night she was attacked.
Where was God then
, she thought. “Why should I?”

“Excuse me
.” Her dad’s eyes narrowed, and he reared back to stare at her. “Talk to me child?”

Jazmine nervously pulled on her shirt. She missed Javier, he always seemed to know when something was wrong and would listen or just talk until she felt better. She needed him now, she was trying to be strong, but deep down
… it was so hard. “A friend of mine got raped.” She sat on the couch.

Her dad took a seat next to her. “Is she okay?”

“No dad, she’s not okay,” her voice rattled. “Why would God let that happen to her?”

He stared at her, and sighed. “Darling
, we don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but God is always there. He knows why things happen.”

She balled her fists. “She wants them to pay for what they did
, she needs revenge,” Jazmine spat out.

“You think revenge will make her feel better?” She didn’t answer, peering down at her hands. “It won’t.” Her dad took her hands in his. “In Roman’s it says
; ‘Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” He picked up a piece of Kleenex from the side table and handed it to her. “God is the only revenge she needs, he will look after his child. That man who raped her will pay for what he did to her, in God’s time.”

Tears ran down her cheeks.

“Jazmine, God knows what he does. It might not make sense to us, but in the end, it will all become clear. I bet your friend is a strong woman, is she going to counseling?”

“Yes
.” She wiped her tears with the paper.

“They will pay.” He caressed her nose with his finger, making her smile. “Let’s say a prayer for your friend
,” he said, closing his eyes.

Jazmine hesitantly closed her eyes, as her dad prayed. “Heavenly father which art in… Amen.”

She opened her eyes. “Thanks daddy. I needed to talk to someone.” She leaned forward and hugged him tight. She missed her dad the most when she was away; he always knew how to make her smile.

“Jazzy, I’m always here whenever you need me
.” Her dad wrapped his arms around her.

“What’s going on?”
Her mother entered the room.

“Nothing
.” Jazmine kissed him, and then pulled away from her dad. “Daddy-daughter moment.”

“Lunch is almost ready
.” Her mom walked in with the house phone in her hand. “Malcolm is joining us.”

Jazmine glared at her mother. “Why would you invite him?”

“That man loves you, Jazmine. He made a mistake.”

“Excuse me ladies
.” Her dad got up, rushing out of the room. She knew he was running away from hearing them argue.

Jazmine crossed her arms over her chest. “Mom, please stop playing match maker. Malcolm and I have been over for a long time. I already told him, we can only be friends, and you inviting him over here isn’t helping.”

“Honey, you’re not getting any younger.” Her mom looked her over. “I want grandbabies while I can enjoy them.”

“You have grandbabies.” She raised her voice. Jazmine wanted to scream
,
you have a beautiful grandson
!

“Not from you.” Her mom put her left hand on her hip. “Malcolm is a great catch
. He has a good job, and he looks sexy as hell in uniform.” She giggled.

“Really mom!”
She arched a brow.

“Hello…”
Her sister Jewel opened the door, and then stepped back. “Oops, wrong time?” She passed by with paper bags in her hands and sat them on the floor.

“Your timing couldn’t be better.” Jazmine could feel her nose flare.

“What?” Jewel closed the door.

“I invited Malcolm
.” Her mother smiled.

“Why would you do that?” J
ewel sounded upset.

“It’s time for the two of you to get married and settle down.” Her mother
’s gaze alternated from her to her sister, flicking between the two.

“I already been there,” Jewel voiced. “And I don’t think I’ll ever do it again.”

Jazmine took a deep breath. “Marriage is overrated.” She touched and then gazed at the bracelet Javier had given her. She’d signed the divorce documents and sent them to him for his signature as soon as she’d arrived home.

“Mom
, stop melding in our lives; that’s why Janice and Michael hardly visit anymore.” Jewel picked up the bags and walked toward the kitchen. “Hi, daddy.”

There was knock on the door,
and Jazmine took a deep breath.

“Aren’t you going to answer the door?”
Her mother observed her.

“You invited him not me
.” She marched to the kitchen.