Love Thy Neighbor (26 page)

Lifting my head, I smile sleepily. “Yeah, I
guess. I’d never done it before.” Taking a huge risk here, I go on,
“I think it only works when two people love each other though.”

His face falls and his brow furrows. He
whispers, “Oh.”

And there’s my answer.

He doesn’t love me.

Hiding my hurt, I wrap my arms around his
neck and squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from leaking. He
strokes my naked back lovingly and says, “Well, either way, I liked
it.”

Resting my head on his shoulder, I reply
quietly, “I’m glad, sweetie.”

Feeling like a complete ass, I almost excuse
myself when his phone vibrates on the nightstand. Being closer to
it, I pick it up and read the display.

Grace calling.

Who the fuck is Grace?

Handing the phone over to Ash with an
annoyed expression, my attitude changes when he takes the phone
from my hand, reads the display through furrowed brows then throws
the phone as hard as he can. It hits the wall and smashes into
pieces. Shocked and a little edgy, I start to slide off him but he
holds me firm and gruffly states, “Stay. Just for a bit
longer.”

There’s a hint of desperation in his voice
and I know something is bothering him. Naked and still on his lap,
my arms band around his neck and I rest my head on his shoulder
once more. I can hear his heart racing through his neck. I don’t
know what just happened, but I want to be there for him.

My non-boyfriend needs me.

Chapter
Twenty
My girl

Never thought I’d see the day when I
actually wanted to stay in bed with a broad and just hold her. But
that’s exactly what I did this morning.

Getting Nat to tell me how she felt about
me? Hard.

Getting Nat to show something sweet about
her that no one else gets to see? Not so hard.

With her body pressed into mine, her lips at
my shoulder and me breathing her in, she calms me. If that fucking
moron hadn’t called me this morning, everything would’ve been fine.
As soon as I saw the display, I lost it. Throwing the damn phone
was the only thing I could do for relief, apart from fuck Nat hard
and fast, but I didn’t want that. She showed me something sweet
this morning and I didn’t want to taint it with my bullshit.

This is probably the first time in my life
that someone has said ‘I love you’ to me and I haven’t wanted to
throw up. Does it scare the fuck out of me? Yep. I mean, what am I
meant to do now? Is there some procedure or manual about pleasing
the person who loves you? I don’t know about this type of
etiquette.

Is that even a word? Etiquette? Running a
hand down my face in frustration, I sigh.

Fuck me. This complicates things.

I knew what she wanted from me. I could see
the disappointment in her gorgeous green eyes, but I couldn’t do
it. I won’t give false hope to someone I care about. And I do. I
care about her a lot. More than anyone I’ve cared about in a long
time. I want to make her happy. I’d do anything to make her
happy.

Is that love?

I think if you need to question it, then no,
it isn’t.

I’m out of my depth here. I need to talk to
someone about this, but I can’t talk to Nik, Max or Trick without
giving away too much. I can’t talk to the girls because they’d
figure out what’s happening between me and Nat. Maybe Silvio?

Silvio… Are you fucking kidding with that
shit? The man can barely speak English!

I guess I’m just going to have to figure
this out myself.

***

As I walk into the main hall of The White
Rabbit to head up to the security room, I spot Stefan, the barman.
He’s a little younger than me and from what I gather, a decent guy.
He’s tall, has blonde hair and brown eyes. If we were standing
close enough, anyone would say we’re related. I’ve only spoken to
him a few times regarding security issues at the club, but he
didn’t give me any attitude and seemed genuinely interested in what
I was talking about. I know Nik wouldn’t have hired just anyone to
run the bar. He’s gotta be okay if Nik hired him.

Why am I rambling?

Maybe he can help me with Nat.

Walking over to him with what I’m sure looks
more like a psychopath’s smile rather than a friendly one, I greet,
“Hey, Sheriff. How’s things?”

When he turns to face me, he has a hard time
masking his surprise. I don’t blame him. I’m surprised as fuck
too.

Stefan goes about wiping down the bar and
stocking beer. He replies, “Hey, Ghost. Fine, thanks. Just fine.
More security stuff?”

Looking up, I rub my chin and confess, “Nah.
Actually hopin’ to talk to you about something.”

He immediately looks worried. Wide-eyed, he
asks, “Am I fired?”

Chuckling, I reply, “Oh shit, man. I can see
why you would think that.” Of course he would think they’d send the
asshole to fire the bar guy. Straightening, I admit, “Actually need
your advice.”

His mouth gapes and he says quietly through
wide eyes, “No shit?”

Shaking my head, I sit at the bar and tell
him, “This is something I can’t talk to anyone else about, so I
thought you’d give me a fresh perspective, what with you being a
lady’s man and all.”

He shakes his head as if to clear it and
utters, “Never seen you have problems getting women before,
bud.”

I nod my agreement and state, “Problem’s not
getting ‘em. How the fuck do you keep one, though?”

A wide smile appears on Stefan’s face before
he says, “That- well, that’s not always easy. But if she’s worth
it, you’ll find a way.”

Looking at him through narrowed eyes, I
snap, “That’s it? That’s all the advice you have to offer?”

Still stacking beers, he chuckles, “Never
said I was an expert, bud. Look at me. I’m still fucking
single.”

Sighing, I run a hand through my hair.
Standing, I begin to pace. “She’s driving me crazy! She’s all
spitfire and twister. She makes me do things that I never thought
I’d do. Then she tells me she loves me and for once, I don’t wanna
run.” Stopping in my trail, I turn to him and state, “I want to
make her happy!” Poking myself in the chest and nodding, I tell
him, “Me! I want to make a broad happy. And I don’t want anyone
else to have her. I told her she was my girl, and now I don’t know
what to do. What does that even mean? I think it means something
else to her than what it means to me. I want her and I don’t want
anyone else to have her, but I have no idea where to go from here.”
I beg, “Help me out, Sheriff. Gimme something to work with
here.”

Stefan’s shakes his head and chuckles. “You
got it bad, man. I think it’s safe to say you found her.”

Exasperated, I sigh, “Who?”

Standing tall, he states, “The one. All of
what you just described…sounds like you found her.” Then he asks,
“Do you love her?”

My response saddens even me. “I don’t know
what love is.”

Stefan tilts his head to the side and says
quietly, “I’m not an expert or anything, but it sounds like you’re
there. And if you’re not, you’re close.”

Walking over to him, I extend my hand. He
takes it with a smile and we shake. Still shaking his hand, I
utter, “You tell anyone about this, I’ll kick your ass.”

Chuckling, he turns away and states, “Yep.
That’s what I figured.”

Walking away, I smile.

Nope. Stefan the Sheriff is not a bad
guy.

***

With Tina and Lola both at the store, Mimi
and I decided to do lunch together. It’s been a quiet day so far,
but I know as soon as three pm hits, it’s going to be chaos with
Safira’s doing its first catalogue sale.

Tina. My little Teeny. No one ever accused
her of doing things half-assed.

Smart woman that she is, this sale is set to
capture the attentions of high school and college kids. She even
sent us earlier in the week to local high schools and colleges to
hand out catalogues. There was a huge amount of interest. So today
will be a good profit day for Tina. Not that she needs it, but the
store’s interest is growing and even though she hasn’t said a
thing, I’m sure she’s thinking of opening a second store.

We decide on sushi and sit in front of the
conveyor at the bar. The dishes slide past us and we pick out what
we want. As soon as I open my mouth to stuff it with California
roll, Meems states, “So I haven’t said anything to the others but I
know you’re fucking him.”

Mouth still open, I stuff the sushi in and
chew. She searches my face through her bold blue eyes and says,
“This is something to you, isn’t it?”

I don’t say a thing. I chew my Sushi as if
it were rubber and match her stare for stare. She whispers, “I hope
you know what you’re doing.”

Finally swallowing, I open my bottle of
water to take a sip and tell her straight out, “I’m in love with
him.”

Meems smiles her rare genuine smile and says
quietly, “I know.” Playing with her food, she states, “I’m rootin’
for you.”

Smiling, I nudge her shoulder with mine. I
love her for caring enough to say something to me. I love her for
believing in me and knowing this is my choice to make.

This is friendship.

***

Bed. I need my bed.

Today was a fucker of a day. Safira’s
catalogue sale was a hit. From three til seven pm we were running
around like headless chickens attending to customers and putting
through sales. The racks were almost bare by the time we finished
up, and we literally had to kick some people out when the doors
were shutting. Even though I’m tired, I’m happy too. This meant
something to Tina. Nik kept trying to interfere by offering his
marketing team, but Tina wanted this to be hers. Something she did
on her own. And she pulled it off. I could see that Nik was
impressed. He stayed at the store with us during the sales hours
because he wanted to be sure nothing got out of hand for his little
pregnant wifey.

Yuk. They are too sweet.

Ash came in around six pm and looked around
the store with wide eyes. So many women running around and talking,
he looked stunned. He threw up his hands at Nik in an
I’m out of
here
gesture and left, but not before winking at me.

And it gave me the butterflies.

Ugh, this love shit sucks.

Dragging my body down the hall to my
apartment, I open the door and smile when I see Asher in the
kitchen. My body lightens at the very sight of him. He takes away
the extra weight on my shoulders. Something smells good. Like,
really good. I drop my bag on the floor by the door and walk over
to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I breathe a sigh of
relief and he lifts one of my hands to kiss it.

Okay, okay. This love shit is not bad…I
guess.

Not taking my arms out from around his
waist, I maneuver myself around him so I hug his front. Smiling up
at him, I ask in a sing-song voice, “What are you doin’?”

Flushing a little as he smiles, he states,
“Making dinner. Figured you’d be tired after that- that- I don’t
even know what the fuck that was, but I was not steppin’ in there.
It looked like the Bermuda triangle. You’d never find me
again.”

Laughing softly, I burrow deeper into his
chest. I yawn. “I’m so sleepy.”

With a soft kiss to the head, he utters, “Go
have a shower. It’ll make you feel better.”

Lifting my head with a hopeful smile, I say,
“You know what would make me feel better?”

He looks at me through narrowed eyes, and I
bite my lip to stop myself laughing.

He’ll never go for it.

***

“Get up. I’m gettin’ out.”

Pushing back against him, I plead, “No!
Stay, please! It’s warm and fun.” I end on a whine.

Ash states matter-of-factly, “Not only is
this
not
fun but there is no fucking way I’m going to get
hard in here with a plug in my ass!”

My head falls back to rest on his chest and
laughter bursts out of me. I say through my laughter, “You make it
sound like you’re wearing a butt plug!”

He utters, “Butt plug. Bath plug. Both are
things I don’t want in or around my ass.” He shifts around and I
burst into laughter again. “That’s it! I’m gone.”

Chuckling, I apologize, “I’m sorry. Really.
Please don’t go. I like this. All wet and warm and relaxed.”

Okay, so I may have seriously misjudged the
size of my bath. It sounded fun at the time and I
am
having
fun, but all my laughter is coming from Asher’s expense. Poor guy.
His legs are so long that he’s had to hook them over the sides of
the tub so we can both fit in properly. I’m all nice and warm,
snuggling back into his chest and I’m sure that his legs are
freezing.

I’m a bad non-girlfriend.

After a few more minutes of snuggling, I
tell him, “Okay, let’s get out.” As I stand, I warn him, “Just so
you know, I’m really damn tired so I don’t think you’re getting
lucky tonight.”

Still in the tub, I turn to face him. His
eyes darken as he watches the droplets of water sluice down my
naked body. He mutters, “Why do I feel lucky then?” and swipes his
thumb across my nipple, causing a jolt in my belly. I scoff as I
step out the tub. “Yeah. Like that line ever worked before in your
life. C’mon, I’m hungry.”

I hold out a hand for him to take. He does
and I help him out of the tub. I take a large fluffy towel and
start to wipe his body. He looks down at me through furrowed brows
and I flush.

Okay. He obviously doesn’t like that.

Dipping my chin in embarrassment, I say,
“Sorry. Here-” I move to hand him the towel but he pushes my hand
away, wraps his strong arms around me, wrapping me up tight, and
lowers his soft, warm lips to mine. Kissing me long and slow for
what seems like forever, I’m officially horny. His tongue dances
with mine. He groans into my mouth when I nip his tongue softly. I
move closer to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away from me and I
almost pout.