Love Thy Neighbor (24 page)

His sleepily eyes open and he mutters, “The
fuck I say now?” My heart races and my face flushes. I thrust my
hand toward the door and he scowls at me. Sitting up, he says, “You
know if I wanted to deal with this kinda bullshit, I’d get a
girlfriend.”

As I walk into the bathroom, I yell back,
“Don’t come over tonight. Or tomorrow. I’ll call you when I want a
cheap lay.” Then I lock myself in the bathroom, turn on the shower
and stay under the hot stream for as long as I can before the water
turns cold.

I think about what I just did and cringe.
Surely, he knows now. He has to know that this is something more to
me. Acting as my non-boyfriend is all well and good, but shit just
got serious. I’m going to lose him before I even got him.

Fuck it! Who cares if he knows? We’ll blame
it on estrogen. That shit gets blamed for everything.

I just made my non-complicated relationship
complicated. I mentally clap at myself. Not a round-of-applause
clap, but that awkward slow clap when someone you know has just
been el retardo. I sigh and lean my head against the wall of the
shower.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I’ve got to get my shit together. And quick.
I say I give him one - no - two days without me before he comes
crawling back. Smirking at the thought, I exit the shower and dress
for the day. When I’m done, I head into the kitchen and see the box
of rice puffs and a dirty bowl on the kitchen counter.

The ass had breakfast here. Of course he
did. Why not just dirty all my dishes to piss me off even more? I
shake my head and put the dirty bowl in the sink, go to the fridge
to get some milk, then pick up a spoon and fresh bowl for myself. I
sit at a stool at the counter, take my box of cereal and pour.

One rice puff falls into my bowl.

Frowning, I look into the box. And it’s
fucking empty.

Oh, that is it!

Grabbing my keys, I storm over to Ghost’s
and open the door and yell, “If you finish my goddamn cereal,
replace the fucker next time!”

Ghost walks out of his bedroom buck naked
and wet from the shower. His ashy hair is almost brown wet and,
scars or not, his body is rocking. I try not to but I stare at his
dick. All of a sudden, I’m salivating. When he reaches down to palm
his hardening shaft, I snap my eyes up to look at him. He smirks,
“Hungry, babe?”

I want to beg him to let me suck him, but
instead I snap, “Fuck you, Ghost.”

His eyes widen and he looks pissed when he
says, “I’ve been degraded to Ghost now?”

Hmmm.

Seems he’s right. He must revert back to
Ghost when I’m pissed at him. Interesting.

Unsure what else to say, I spin on my heel
and leave. When I walk through the door, I yell out, “Replace the
fucking cereal, bitch!”

My blood boils when I hear him laugh.

This is not going well.

***

Today at the store, the girls were trying to
get me out of my bad mood all day long. Tina bribed me with cake,
Mimi told me about her sexcapades with Shawna, and Lola bought me a
double dark chocolate buzz from Winnies. Nothing worked.

On the way home, I stopped and got a burger
for dinner. That’s how shitty I felt.

Burger bad.

I know I shouldn’t have snapped at Ash the
way I did for something he isn’t even aware of, but fuck, the man
is infuriating sometimes. Eating my damn cereal was the last
straw.

I eat my burger in the car on the way home.
When I open the door to my apartment, something’s off. I look
around trying to figure out what it can be, but I can’t see
anything different. I’m sure I’m imagining things, so I strip off
my clothes on the way to the bathroom and have a nice hot shower.
Today I decide on chamomile lavender body wash. The froth feels so
nice on me, like a mini massage, and today’s stresses seem to
disappear.

When I’m done, I dress in my jammies and
head into the kitchen. There’s a note on the pantry. I unstick it
and read.

Replaced your cereal, your highness. I
hope ten boxes are okay.
Ghost.

Ghost is underlined three times. I think I
might’ve hurt his feelings with that, but I’m appeased by the fact
that he took the time out to buy me more cereal. Ten boxes was
overkill but it’s all good. I don’t know what makes me do it, but
I’m curious to see the boxes of cereal. Somehow I think it’ll make
me feel even better.

I open the pantry and freeze.

***

I watch on the newly installed CCTV as the
ten boxes of rice puffs that I unboxed and crammed into the pantry
fall into a small mountain at Nat’s feet.

And I laugh and laugh and laugh my fucking
ass off.

She tries to move but with every step she
takes, more rice puffs scatter and she continuously slips on them.
I laugh so hard I have to hold my stomach. This is the funniest
shit I’ve ever seen. Who needs the internet when I have my own
version of comedy living next door. She tries in vain to stand but
slips again and again. Finally giving up, her face falls before she
squeals at the top of her lungs in frustration.

And it all starts again. I laugh my ass
off.

I’m surprised that she doesn’t clean the
mess, just sweeps it into a corner and leaves it. Obviously had
enough for the day, she heads off to bed. I switch cameras and turn
on the night vision as she gets into bed.

Is what I’m doing creepy? Maybe.

Do I care? I’m not a known giver of fucks.
No.

My eyebrows lift as I see her reach into her
underwear drawer for something. As soon as she puts it between her
legs, my eyes roll back and my dick hardens.

The little minx is using her vibrator.

Zooming in to get a better look at her, I
stroke myself and watch her try to pleasure herself. She alternates
using her hand and the vibrator, then using the vibrator while she
stokes her clit, then using the vibrator while she pinches her
nipples. Nothing. She can’t do it. She throws the vibrator across
the room in frustration and although I can’t hear her, she smacks
at the bed and her mouth moves rapidly. I smirk. Probably cursing
me to hell for spoiling her so much she can’t get off.

Either way, that was sexy as hell and one
for the spank bank.

I can’t believe she didn’t see the cameras
when she came in from work. They aren’t exactly invisible.

It’s late and I decide to call it a night.
When I settle in bed, I palm myself while thinking of Nat using her
vibrator. Hot as hell.

Then I remember the rice puffs. And I laugh
and laugh and laugh.

For the first night in twenty five years, I
fall asleep with a smile on my face.

***

Early morning, my alarm goes off. It’s
5:25am and I get ready for my mission by dressing in black sweat
pants and a black tee. As soon as I walk into my kitchen, I go
through my cupboards and find the biggest container I have and load
the rice puffs into it. It’s early as hell, but I find the will to
make pancakes too. I take everything over to Asher’s bit by bit,
and when everything is ready, I take a look at my canvas. His
apartment is pretty bare making my work all too easy.

Making my way into his kitchen, I take out
the super glue and get to work, grinning all the while.

No one fucks with a Kovac.

***

My alarm goes off and as I switch it off, I
hear my front door close. My brow furrows.

It’s too early to deal with any
bullshit.

Sighing, I get out of bed and walk out my
bedroom door only to kick a plate on the floor. I pick up the plate
which has three pancakes on it. They’re hot and smell good, loaded
with butter and syrup. I smile to myself. This must be Nat’s way of
apologizing for being a crazy-assed demon lady. I roll up one of
the pancakes and take a bite. It’s delicious. I walk into the
kitchen with my eyes closed in bliss and continue eating. When I
reach the kitchen counter, I wash my syrup covered hands and put
the dirty dish in the sink. There’s a note on the counter, I unfold
it and read.

Enjoy your breakfast!

That’s nice of her. The bottom of the note
has a little arrow pointing to the edge of the page. I turn it over
and read.

Look up.

So I do. I raise my head to the ceiling and
everything skids to a halt.

What the fuck? Is that-? Did she-? No
way.

She fucking glued pancakes on my ceiling!
The crazy-assed devil woman glued motherfucking pancakes on the
ceiling!

Even though I’m fucking pissed, I’m equally
impressed. How the hell did she get up there?

I need coffee. I turn on the coffee pot and
make my way over to the fridge. As soon as I open it and hear a
crunching noise, I mentally sigh. I take the milk out of the fridge
and close it. And burst into laughter. Genuine, funny-as-fuck
laughter.

She fucking glued rice puffs to my
refrigerator.

I can’t see the surface to it. She spent a
lot of time pulling this morning’s prank and I am impressed. This
woman could give me a run for my money. I know I should be angry,
but I started it and there are consequences to your actions. I’ll
take it. This time. Nat just earned herself a medal in my books.
Respect.

Doesn’t mean she isn’t going to get it.

Forgetting my coffee, I exit my apartment
and head over to Nat’s. There’s a note on her door. With a grin, I
open and read it.

You must be out of your mind if you thought
I was going to stick around to see your reaction. Payback’s a
bitch, bitch.

She’s lucky she isn’t here. I’d probably
make her eat one of those pancakes. I turn and head back into my
apartment. Making my way to the shower, I chuckle.

Fucking devil woman.

***

Mission success that early in the morning
calls for a celebration and I’m celebrating with pie. Velvet choc
hazelnut pie, to be exact. I buy it at a sweet little bakery which
is just down the road from Safira’s. As soon as I bring it in,
Tina’s all over me like whiskey on cola. She cuts herself the
biggest slice ever and shoves most of it into her mouth. Moaning,
she says a garbled, “This is really good.”

I stare at her like she’s lost her damn
mind. Mimi comes over and eyes the pie with avid interest. I roll
my eyes at her attempt to be cunning and almost throw a piece at
her. Lola sees pie and yells, “Pie!” followed by a “Whoot,
whoot!”

“What’s the occasion?” Mimi asks.

Being a smartass, I tease, “Tina’s
pregnant.”

Tina almost chokes on her pie. Stunned, she
looks up into my face and whispers, “How. Did. You. Know?”

Oh my God! No way!

Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, we all stare at
Tina. After a few moments, she whispers, “That was meant to be a
joke, wasn’t it?”

Mimi, Lola and I all nod slowly in
astonishment. Tina clicks her fingers and snaps, “I knew it! Darn
it to heck!”

Lola snaps us out of our stupor by jumping
around and squealing, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my freaking
God!”

Mimi shakes her head and pokes Tina lightly
in the belly, saying “I should’ve known. You’ve been crazy
emotional lately and you said you have your period when I know I
didn’t. I should’ve known. Man, I’m pissed at myself!”

Unable to move, I stand where I am at the
counter. Pie forgotten and with stinging eyes, I ask, “Tatiana’s
gonna have a brother or sister?”

Tina smiles. “Yeah, honey. She is. I’m just
past six weeks. We were going to wait til eight to tell you
all.”

Lowering my head, I cry silently. Happiness
can be overwhelming that way. Sometimes you feel so full of it that
you could just burst and happiness would fly out everywhere. Tina
comes over to me and wraps her arms around me. We stay that way for
a while. When I finally get myself together, I shriek, “Today is
awesome!”

We all laugh, talk and eat pie. Turning to
Tina, I utter, “Nik must’ve been on you like syrup on pancakes if
he got you pregnant that quick.”

Looking pissed, she puts her hand on her
hip. “I know, right? I told him we needed to use protection but he
was all,” Putting on her best deep Nik voice, “Nah, baby. You’re
breastfeeding. We don’t need to use a thing. It’ll be okay.” Her
eyes widen and she continues, “The ass already knew he was knocking
me up! Wasn’t even surprised when I told him I was pregnant. Just
flashed me the damn dimple.” Smiling to herself, she looks over to
us and admits, “It’s a magical dimple. It makes me do things I
normally wouldn’t want to.”

Laughing our asses off at her silliness, I
tell myself that even though I can’t have kids, I
will
stop
being bitter about it. And surprisingly, I feel lighter.

Today is going to be a good one.

Chapter Nineteen
Sleep talking kills

Coming home to the apartment, I’ll admit I’m
nervous as fuck. I’m still awaiting some form of retribution from
Asher for this morning’s mixed breakfast chaos.

Stepping into the door, I flip on the light
and look around through narrowed eyes. Everything looks okay, but I
can’t be one hundred percent sure, so I tiptoe through the
apartment, past the kitchen and down the hall into my room. Nothing
there either.

That’s weird. Surely I haven’t won. Ghost
wouldn’t allow that.

Yes,
Ghost
wouldn’t but would Asher?
I’m not sure. Perhaps. He’s always been gentlemanly when he’s here
what with letting me suck his cock and all. A knock at the door
sounds and I jump into a wrestling stance. My heart beats a mile a
minute and my legs wobble.

Holy crap, that scared me.

“Nat, open up.” Shit. That’s Asher.

Feet don’t fail me now.

Wait? What the hell is he doing at the front
door? Now I’m convinced something’s not right. I walk over to the
door and yell though it, “What do you want, butthead?”