Love Unscripted (19 page)

I kept making mistakes, slips... one after another.
I can’t fall in love with you. I can’t allow myself to long for something that would never – could never be. I’m just kidding myself.

The serene lake suddenly felt like shark-infested waters. I had to get out of this boat and back to safe ground - fast. I fought the urge to jump in the lake and swim for shore.

I looked at the time on my cell phone. “It’s almost two o’clock. I should get you back. I’m sure you have things you have to do.”

“
Not really,” he admitted, looking me in the eyes again. “I just assumed… it is poker night, isn’t it?”

Despite my compounding fears I couldn’t help but revel in the fact that he was going to be with me tonight as well.

“
I’m hungry,” Ryan mentioned as we walked up to the cabin. “I’m starting to get a headache.”

“
We can stop for something on the way back. How does pizza sound?”

I drove us out onto the highway and Ryan moved his arm to rest his hand on the top of my driver’s seat. Every once and a while he would twist his finger into my hair on the top of my head. It made me shiver and smile.

“
Does that tickle?” he asked.

“
Yeah, it does!” I giggled, but he kept on doing it.

Every time I tried to reach for his finger, he’d move his hand away and chuckle. Our little game was fun.

About the ninth time, I managed to reach up fast enough with my right hand and I flattened his hand on my head. He twisted his finger once more in my hair under my hand.

“
Okay, I’ll stop then,” he announced, and then he made a move that stunned me. He quickly gathered my hand in his and relocated our joined hands to rest on his thigh.

I glanced over at him in shock. I felt a slight rush when my heart skipped a beat; the sensation of his touch flooded my veins.

Ryan was staring intently at our joined hands; slowly he opened his grip and freed my hand but I didn’t pull away – I didn’t
want
to pull away even though I knew I should. My desire for him overpowered all logical reasoning. A small grin appeared on his lips.

After a few minutes, he repositioned my hand, setting it to rest palm down on his thigh. Ryan released me, then used his left hand to casually scratch his chin, all the while watching my hand on his leg.

I smiled, assuming this was another test. He paused to see if I’d pull my hand away. He was feeling me out to see how I’d react.

I left my hand where he set it. He placed his hand on top of mine and wove our fingers together. The smile on his face was breathtaking. He adjusted his seat to recline further back, breathed out a contented sigh, and closed his eyes.

The sun was already setting when I pulled my car down the alley. I purposely made sure that the passenger door would open to the back door of my pub so Ryan could get inside quickly.

I looked up and down the alley first; I was on the alert just in case there were paparazzi on the loose. I held the back door open while he darted from the car to the kitchen. It was a relief when Ryan was inside safely.

“
Stay inside. I’ll get the cooler and bags.”

Ryan looked angry and helpless as he stood there. I could tell he wanted to just walk out into the alley and pull the cooler from the trunk, but he couldn’t. We could not afford to make any mistakes.

He started to breach the doorway to help me.

“
Ryan, someone might see you! It’s all right. I got it. Please, just back up.” As soon as he could, he took the cooler out of my hands and slid it into the dark kitchen.

“
Here, let me have those.” He slipped his bag and mine from my shoulder. “Is that everything?”

“
Just the pizza and our drinks yet, then that’s it.” I leaned back into the car and grabbed the pizza box off of the back seat.

When I handed him the box, he was smiling devilishly at me.

“
What?” I asked, dying to know why he was grinning.

“
Nothing!” he stated as he faked a swing to smack me on the butt.

“
Okay - well I’m going to park my car. You can lock this door - wait, let me turn on a light for you first. I’ll come through the front.”

I drove down the alley and parked my car in my normal spot in the lot on the corner of Mulberry. As I walked towards the pub, I noticed someone sitting in an old car across the street. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, but I could see the dark outline of a person.
Don’t get paranoid already
, I said to myself. I quickly unlocked the front door to my pub and hurried inside.

About a half hour later, Pete and Tammy arrived for poker. “Hey kids!” Pete shouted. “Hey Ryan! Good to see you, man!”

“
Hey Pete!” Ryan shook his hand. “How’s it going?”

“
I brought some dessert,” Tammy giggled happily. She slid a tray of chocolate dipped something-or-others onto the bar. “I thought we might sample these - let me know if it would be something good to serve on Sunday for the party.”

I noticed the smug smile and wink she gave me when she thought no one else was looking.

“
How’s it going?” Tammy asked quietly.

“
Good, real good!” I said, even though at that very moment I was fighting off a wave of nausea.

“
Did you have a good time up there?” she whispered in my ear.

I nodded and smiled. I didn’t intend to share any details with anyone. Our weekend was ours and ours alone and I wanted Ryan to know that I wouldn’t spill anything, even to my closest friends. Besides, he was watching me out of the corner of his eye.

I brought fresh mugs over to Ryan and Pete and poured them a beer from the pitcher.

“
Thanks!” Ryan smiled when I set his glass in front of him. A stick of pain shot into my stomach, causing me to hunch and wince.

“
So, Ryan, how were they biting up at the lake?” Pete asked while waiting with an open hand for the beer I was pouring for him.

“
Good! We both caught a lot. Although Taryn caught the first one on
both
days.” He winked and quickly patted the back of my thigh.

“
Yeah, but you still caught more than I did,” I added. I wanted to give him his fair due too.

I sat down in the chair next to Ryan and took a big sip of ginger ale. The slice of pizza that I ate was sitting in my stomach like a rock. I contemplated resting my head on the table for a moment.

“
Not drinking tonight, Taryn?” Pete asked, pointing at my glass of soda.

I suddenly felt lightheaded. “No. I have a bit of an upset stomach.”

Ryan leaned over and whispered, “Are you okay? You feeling sick again?”

“
I’m fine,” I lied, wincing from the new shot of pain that hit my abdomen.

“
Were you sick?” Pete asked, questioning my condition.

I just stared at the table. I wasn’t going to say anything; besides I
was
feeling that I might be sick again – the saliva was pooling in my mouth.

Ryan patted my leg privately under the table and sighed.

“
Both of us were really sick last night. We’re not sure what made us sick, but we definitely had food poisoning, that’s for sure!” he explained, gently rubbing my back.

“
Excuse me, please,” I murmured, dashing for my stairs. I made it to my bathroom just in time to bring the pizza back up. My hands clenched the toilet seat as the stomach acid burned my throat.

“
Taryn?” Ryan called out. “Are you all right?” I was brushing my teeth when he came around the corner. “Everything okay?”

I felt slightly dizzy when I motioned my reply. “No. I just got sick again. The pizza.”

“
Why don’t you just cancel poker and go lay down? You’re not going to have any fun if you’re feeling lousy.” Ryan stepped into the bathroom and pressed his hand against my forehead. “It feels like you’re running a slight fever too.”

“
I can’t cancel on them. Why don’t you just go down and play? Go have fun. Maybe I’ll come down later if I feel better.”

“
No. I’m staying with you. I’ll be right back.” He was gone before I could even respond.

I went to my bedroom to change into comfy clothes. Resting on the couch sounded very appealing. Staying close to my bathroom was even more appealing. I had just pulled the quilt off the back of the couch and onto my lap when Ryan came back through my door.

“
Pete called Marie and told her you weren’t feeling well,” Ryan said while thumbing through his cell phone. “We exchanged cell numbers. I have Marie’s number too. I told Pete I’d call him later to let him know how you’re doing.”

“
You didn’t have to do that,” I whispered. “All of you could have still played. I feel horrible for ruining your night and breaking Monday tradition.”

“
Don’t be ridiculous. We wouldn’t play without you. Here, I brought you a new glass of ginger ale. You should drink some water too. We’re
both
probably dehydrated.” He set the glass down on the table. “I really don’t need any beer in my stomach either.”

“
Thank you,” I said sincerely. “I think you’re right about being dehydrated. That’s probably why I feel so achy. I should drink some water.” I pulled the quilt off my lap. “Would you like to see the rest of the place?”

I took him for a quick tour of my apartment. “This is the laundry room here and then these are the stairs that lead up to the roof.” He followed me back down the hall to the kitchen.

“
Wow, this is a really nice place you have! This kitchen is beautiful! I love the granite countertops and the cherry cabinets. Wine fridge and everything.”

“
Thanks. I just had it re-done a few months ago. It used to be a horrible green color with white cabinets. It was really depressing. The bathroom is going to be my next project. Would you like some water?” I pulled glasses out of the cabinet for both of us.

While I was filling our glasses, I mentally questioned why he was so willing to hang out with some girl who just threw up. Surely he had better things to do. But then he did intend to hang out with me all evening anyway to play poker, so I guess it didn’t make a difference to him how he spent those hours. I was just relieved that I had him here with me where he was protected from the insanity.

“
Do you want to watch some TV?” he asked while kicking his sneakers off. My insides warmed, knowing he wanted to stay with me. He removed the throw pillow and nestled his body into the corner of the couch. “Here, why don’t you lay down,” he instructed as he placed the pillow next to his leg.

“
No, that’s okay. I’m fine.” I sat down on the opposite end of the couch and curled my feet underneath me. I was afraid I might feel nauseous again if I lay down. His lips pulled together and he gave me a disappointed look.

Ryan wiggled his phone out of his pocket to listen to his voice mail. It sounded like he deleted thirty messages. Considering how in-demand he was, I was surprised that he didn’t take any calls while we were fishing. Come to think of it, he hadn’t taken any calls at all while he was with me.

His fingers tapped two more times before he held the phone up to his ear. “Hi Dad,” he said cheerfully. “What are you up to?”

I looked over at him and smiled. I was glad that he was the type of man who thought enough of his parents to call them. Ryan smiled back at me. It was impossible not to listen to his conversation since he was sitting three feet away but I tried to appear distracted. While he talked, I flipped through the channels looking for something to watch.

“
You’ll never guess what I did yesterday and today. I was fishing!”

He told his father all about the lake and the cabin and how relaxed he felt. It secretly delighted me to know he was happy and content.

“
Taryn, where’s my bag?”

“
They’re still down in the kitchen.”

He slipped out the apartment door and trotted down the steps. When he left, I figured he would have continued his conversation in private, but he just ran downstairs, grabbed our bags, and came back instantly to resume his position on the couch.

“
Did you book a flight yet? I have to check my calendar.” He started tapping the screen on his phone.

“
Dad, just hang on a second. Okay,” he said while touching through a calendar. “Mom’s birthday is Friday the thirty-first. No, I’m scheduled to be on set. If you fly in Wednesday night then you can stay for the weekend.” It was apparent by his tone that he was looking forward to seeing his parents.

While he talked, I wondered what his parents looked like. Did Ryan look like his mother or did he take after his father? The way he spoke to his dad made it clear that they had a great relationship.

“
I have to work on the seventeenth. It’s no big deal. We can celebrate my birthday when I come home for Thanksgiving. Okay, let me talk to mom…”

I looked over at him when he indicated his birthday was coming up, apparently in November since he mentioned Thanksgiving. He’d be turning twenty-seven this year too.

“
Hi Mom. How are you? I’m at a friend’s place.
Her
name is Taryn.” He winked at me. “It’s a long story; I’ll tell you later… because she’s sitting right next to me, Mom. She’s a sweetheart! You are going to love her.”