Love Unscripted (26 page)

I peeked out the door before attempting to sneak him from the kitchen to the stairwell. Most of the crowd had disappeared. There were only about twenty people left in the pub, but I still wanted to get him upstairs unnoticed.

Ryan had just slipped through the stairwell door as Marie came around the corner at the same moment. She was looking for me and I was busted.

Her face broke into an exultant grin when she saw what I was up to. “Ryan?” she mouthed as she pointed to the door.

I shrugged. My shameful smile was enough of a confirmation for her.

“
Glad to see you’re taking my advice! Go on, I’ll lock up. There are only a couple of people here. Pete and I will take care of it. Go, have a great night!”

I was halfway up the steps when Marie called me back. I tossed my key to Ryan.

“
I’ll be right back,” I said to him, nodding for him to go on without me. I trotted down the steps and almost ran right into Marie.

“
You forgetting something?” she teased, holding out a chilled bottle of champagne.

Ryan had his coat off and was in the living room when I walked into my apartment.

“
Gift from Marie.” I handed the bottle to him. “She saw you. Sorry,” I apologized. “Don’t worry, she won’t say anything.”

“
Do you want me to open this?” he asked, even though he already started to peel the foil off the top.

“
Sure. Let me get some glasses.”

He popped the cork and poured as I held the glasses. Ryan slipped one glass from my hand and held it up.

“
To… possibilities.” He tapped his glass gently into mine and flashed a sultry smile at me.

“
What time do you think you’ll be done tonight?” he asked, sipping his champagne.

“
Actually, I’ve been given the rest of the night off. Marie and Pete will close tonight.”

“
Really? You’re done for the night?” He sounded pleased.

“
Yep. We weren’t that busy for some reason. Guess there was some big commotion going on at the Synful Grill tonight – took most of my customers away.”

He tilted his head to give me an annoyed look.

“
The only reason I know that is because one of my customers received a message that you were there. She said your location was posted on the Internet.”

“
Unbelievable,” he muttered. I could tell that upset him.

“
Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

He stopped me. “No, no, I’m not mad at you. It’s just messed up. I can’t even go out to eat without it being a huge pain in the ass. It’s like having a stalker, only they travel in packs. I don’t know why they even give a shit.”

He started rubbing his face hard, so I tried to think of something that would get his mind off of this path.

“
Hey, would you help me a second?” I held out my hand to pull him up from his seat. He willingly followed me to the kitchen.

“
Can you pull the other trays of steaks out of the fridge? I need to flip them.” I had fifteen steaks marinating for our Sunday dinner.

“
These steaks look awesome! What’s in the juice?” he asked.

“
Ah, that’s a trade secret. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you!” I teased him. “I’m going to need help carrying these up to the roof tomorrow. Can I count on you to help me?”

“
Absolutely!” he replied, wincing at me like I would need to ask that of him.

I could tell that his upset mood was slowly lifting. His gears were pretty easy to switch.

“
The marinade is only the first part of the process. There’s a whole grilling technique too.”

“
Is that a trade secret too, or are you going to share that?”

“
Truthfully I stole the idea from an article in
Maxim Magazine.
”

“
What are you doing reading
Maxim
? Looking for your picture?” He nudged me with his elbow.

“
Yeah right! My uncle got my dad a subscription for Christmas one year and there was an entire article on how to grill food.” I shrugged. “So how do you like your steak? Are you a rare or well-done kind-of guy?”

“
Medium-well. I’m not crazy about seeing my food bleed.” He shuddered.

“
Me too!” I said, shocked that we had another thing in common.

When we finished in the kitchen, Ryan started to peruse my DVD collection. “Can we watch a movie? You have one that I’d like to see.”

He kicked his shoes off and made himself comfortable on the couch. When I sat down next to him, he held his hand out to me.

“
Hey, come here,” he whispered. He repositioned his body so I was lying on his chest.

Ryan smiled at me and kissed my forehead softly. His finger gently raised my chin and he kissed me tenderly. I was surprised that he didn’t try to make out with me again. Instead, after a few loving kisses, he just held me in his arms while we watched the movie.

I’d seen the movie he chose a few times before, so it was hard for me to really pay attention to it - especially since I was snuggled in his arms. Ryan was softly stroking my hair and my back and it made me very relaxed. I was so comfortable lying on him, I felt myself drifting.

“
Taryn, sweetie. Wake up,” Ryan whispered groggily. He shifted his body underneath me so he could sit up.

I rubbed my eyes and noticed the clock – it was a few minutes till two. Ryan slipped into the bathroom.

I waited for Ryan to finish so I could take my turn.

“
Do you mind if I stay?” he asked. “If not, I can always jog to the hotel. Hopefully the paparazzi are sleeping.”

“
It’s pretty late,” I whispered, not knowing how to convey my thoughts. I didn’t want him to run anywhere.

We gazed at each other for a moment; I watched his mouth curl down in disappointment. I, too, felt the same sadness thinking about him leaving. There was only one answer. “Stay,” I whispered.

“
Do you have an extra pillow?” His eyes flashed down the hallway to the living room. I guess he was offering to sleep on the couch.

We stood there in the hallway leaning on opposing walls in silence, just staring at each other, waiting and gauging each other’s reaction. He was trying to be a gentleman and not force his way into my bedroom without an invitation, but in my mind, the couch in the front room was too far of a distance between us. Things would be a lot different in my bedroom tonight from how they were last night, and we both knew it. The door to physical contact and sexual intimacy had been opened.

I held out my hand, craving for him to hold me in his arms like he did this morning. Ryan gently smiled and placed just the tips of his fingers on mine. I curled his fingers into the palm of my hand and led him into my dark bedroom.

I turned on the little lamp that sits on my dresser to softly illuminate the bedroom and quickly slipped into the bathroom to change. Ryan waited for me to return. He stood there, staring at me as he peeled his shirt off over his head. His chest and arms were strong and defined, and the light from the lamp made his skin glow.

I watched him open his jeans and take them off his long legs. He tried to lay his pants on my bedroom chair but he missed; some loose change made ting sounds on the wooden floor when it fell out of his pockets. He quickly stripped his socks off and tossed them one by one to the floor.

Ryan slid into bed and adjusted the pillows until he was comfortable. We inched closer to each other and I hesitantly rested my hand on his bare chest. I wanted to let my fingers roam free but my hand was inconveniently frozen in place.

He slid down the bed until our eyes were at the same level. We gazed into each other’s eyes and he gently stroked my cheek; those unspoken words of the possibilities of what could happen next flowed between us.

His fingertips guided my face to his as he softly kissed my lips. His touch was so gentle it made me smile.

Slowly, sensually, our hands touched each other’s bodies. Our fingertips lightly trailed over each other’s skin, taking the liberty to explore uncharted territory.

His hand pressed in the small of my back as he pulled me closer; his kisses completely aroused my body. Softly he bit and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and I moaned from the pleasure.

I ran my hand down his back, pressing my fingertips into his skin to massage his muscular frame. I had wanted to feel his body for so long now and I was finally getting my wish.

His hand gripped my hip in response, sending another shockwave through my veins. I could feel his fingers tense and press into my hipbone as I ran my tongue over his luscious lips.

My fingers trailed down his chest to his stomach; his body quivered lightly under my touch. I could feel that he was completely aroused.

I was getting too carried away in the moment; a few minutes more of this and there’d be no turning back. Doubt, fear, crept into my thoughts, quelling ecstasy and desire. I placed my flat hand on his chest and lightly pushed back away from him; I needed a moment to catch my breath. I rubbed my eyes as the sensible person who lives in my brain spoke up.

“
Taryn, I understand. I want you so bad, but I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready to do,” Ryan whispered.

I had no will left. My body craved to feel him - all of him. My thoughts wrestled with that desire as all the warning bells went off in my head.

He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and moved my hand away from my eyes. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“
I’m worried.” I shrugged, trying like hell not to appear like an immature, neurotic mess. My words came out in a whisper.

“
What are you worried about?”

I took a deep breath and sighed.

“
I know you’re not…” I murmured, stopping myself. “I don’t do casual very well. Sex for me involves emotions and in reality… you’re not going to be here for much longer.” The words were difficult to say.

“
Look at me. Please... look in my eyes,” he softly pleaded.

I turned to gaze back at him. His eyes were captivating.

“
If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty crazy about you. You’re all I think about,” he said as he brushed his fingertips on my cheek. “You’re not the only one making an emotional investment here.

“
I know why you’re worried, Taryn.” He took in a deep breath. “I’m not here to use you or to hurt you. You have to understand - it’s not easy for me to have
any
kind of relationship, despite what people think. It’s difficult for me to keep a private life or to trust anyone. One of my old girlfriends sold our relationship to the tabloids for money.”

He looked away, wincing from the unpleasant memory. “After that, well, let’s just say it’s been a while since I’ve been this emotionally close with anyone.”

He looked back into my eyes. “Believe me when I say that random one-nighters are not my style. That’s all I need, for stuff like that to be in print too.”

“
I guess we’re two kindred spirits then,” I said.

“
What do you mean?” He looked at me for an explanation.

“
You don’t trust women and I don’t trust men.”

“
Huh,” he breathed out. “So why don’t you trust men?”

“
I was… involved with someone a few months ago, too,” I said hesitantly. I didn’t want to accidentally say the scary word “engaged” out loud fearing that Ryan might run if he thinks I only have marriage on the brain.

“
Let’s just say that one woman wasn’t enough for him.” I pursed my lips from the thought. “Anyway, sounds like we’ve both had our fair share of pain to deal with.”

“
Yeah, but the difference is that your heartaches aren’t front-page news printed on the cover of millions of magazines,” he huffed as he ran his fingers back through his hair. “And
you
don’t need a Publicist when you break up with someone.”

I sat up on my elbow and rested my hand on his chest. “Ryan, I care about you, a lot. I guess that’s why I’m hesitant to jump into this – because we both need to be able to trust each other. But I promise, no matter what happens between us, I will never, ever, betray you.”

I stared into his dark eyes. “Inside here is compassion and tenderness and I see a beautiful soul who deserves to be loved. I can only hope that you trust me enough now to believe me when I say I would
never
do anything to hurt you.”

He rubbed my arm gently and then placed his hand on mine as it rested on his chest. A smile appeared on his face.

“
I know.” Ryan took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. “My life has been turned up-side-down these last few years. I feel like I’ve been living in this chaotic existence. But when I’m with you, I… I feel strangely at peace. I feel like I can trust you with my secrets. And you have something that no one else has. When I look at you,” his eyes held my gaze, “you take my breath away.”

His words momentarily took my breath away.

“
Taryn, I’m fa…” He stopped to bite his lip and sighed, swallowing hard. “I care about you too – so much more than I think you realize. I’ve been trying to take this slow for a reason, you know… trying not to rush it. But being with you is just so easy and natural, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way.”