Love Unscripted (25 page)

I knew Pete didn’t want to say the words “famous” or “celebrity.” I took a step back from him. Words like “celebrity” equaled “unobtainable” in my mind.

“
You just have to give the poor guy a chance first. But sometimes you can also be your own worst enemy,” Pete scolded. “If
you
never take chances, then of course you won’t get hurt. But that’s what life is all about, kiddo. Living through the good and bad, and – with any luck – having battle scars that heal.”

“
Pete, he’s leaving in a couple of weeks. He is not going to stick around here.” I sighed heavily from the one thought that brought me the most pain. “What am I supposed to do? Put my heart out there on the silver platter again and give it all away? How convenient that all the guys I seem to fall for own sharp knives.”

Just then my phone vibrated in my pocket, startling me.

“
Speaking of sharp knives.”

‘
1 new message
’
flashed on the screen. I read Ryan’s text message and laughed to myself.

“
I need duct tape”

“
For what?”
I texted back.

“
Bb is throwing hissy fit again she hates her costume today”

I frowned and quickly typed:
“can't u lock her in a trailer?”

“
I wish”

“
Is she coming tomorrow?”
I asked.

“
Yes sorry btw I slept great last night best night sleep in a long time”

My fingers quickly typed
:
“Liar”

“
Truth!”
popped up on my display. I smiled at his reply.

“
Cu tomorrow at 5?”
I replied.

“
U can c me tonight if u want?”

I couldn’t text him back. I wanted to see him so bad but the self-preservation portions of my heart and brain were screaming NO at me.

If I say, “sure, come on over and hop in my bed again” – would he deem me easy?

If I say, “no, because I really want a relationship and not a one-night stand” – would he move on?

Why am I mentally torturing myself?
Remember Taryn, he’s going to be swirling out of your town and out of your life in a few weeks
.

Just because he is popular and well known, does that make him exempt from having to win my heart? Well, that’s silly. He cracks my will every time he is in the same room with me, so he really doesn’t have to try too hard to win my affection.

Maybe one day when I’m old and gray I can tell my story of how I had unbelievably insane sex with a movie star once? That would be something to tell the grandkids.

Maybe my name could be a sub-text blurb under his name on some Ryan Christensen website. October – slept with foolish girl in Rhode Island before he met his movie star wife and went on to have blue-eyed babies with her.

I used to see everything so black or white. Once I made a decision, I stuck by it. But since this man entered my life, my whole being has been disrupted and blurred in shades of gray-tinted what-if’s.

One thing was for sure: if I give in to him, I would want him again and again. There would not be a way to survive a one-time encounter with him. Ryan’s foot touching my foot was enough of a gesture to make me want him. And when he held me this morning, his fingers twined with mine, his body pressed against me, making love to him was all I could think of.

“
Taryn, are you okay?” Marie’s voice snapped me back into the room. “Why are you sitting in the corner? Are you sick?”

“
Just mentally torturing myself,” I muttered.

“
Oh, I see. And how’s that going for ya?” she asked, cracking a grin at me.

“
Not good. The angel and the devil are debating on whether I should cave or stand my ground.”

“
Finally! It took you long enough!” she said excitedly. “And?”

I shrugged.

“
You know what I think? I think you should stop all this nonsense and screw the shit out of him until he passes out from exhaustion. And when he wakes up, wash him and then screw the daylights out of him again!” She was beaming at me.

“
You’ll have to feed him, of course, to keep his energy level up, but make sure you hide his clothes so he can’t get dressed. Men can’t run when they’re naked.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. “Thanks! I needed that.”

“
Come on,” she said while pulling me off the box in the corner. “Let’s get you focused. It will be like training an athlete.”

Our Saturday night crowd was unusually light. I didn’t have a band scheduled, so I presumed that we wouldn’t have as many customers, but since Ryan had been to my place twice, every night seemed to be busy. I wondered why tonight was different. I noticed that the influx of extra women was missing. A few guys came in, but when they saw that the place was devoid of a hearty selection of women, they packed up and left.

“
I thought we would be getting hammered by now,” Marie huffed. “Where is the second wave of customers?”

One of the ladies sitting at the bar chimed in. “Ryan Christensen’s whereabouts were posted on the Internet. My girlfriend called to tell me that the cast is eating at The Synful Grill. It has a new nightclub attached called Synergy. She said the bar is so packed that you can’t even walk through the place.”

“
I’ve been there once,” Cory said. “There’s a ten dollar cover charge just to get in. Drinks were really expensive too. I’m sure there are lots of women there tonight.”

Great!
Apparently Ryan was occupying his time with other activities. I wondered if it was because I didn’t reply to his last text about seeing him tonight. Would he move on that quickly?
Apparently…

It was almost eleven o’clock when my phone rang instead of vibrating. I listened to my new ringtone, letting the song play out so I could hear the lyrics. My smile was huge.

“
Hey you,” Ryan breathed out. “Are you working hard?”

“
No, not really. We’re kind of dead, actually. What are you up to?” It was hard to hide my enthusiasm.

“
I’m at some restaurant. We just finished eating.”

“
Wow. This late?” I looked at my watch. “It’s almost eleven.”

“
Sorry I didn’t call you earlier, but we had a director’s meeting at eight and then it took a while for all our food to come out. The food pretty much sucked. It was disappointing,” he snickered.

“
I promise I’ll feed you better tomorrow.”

“
Hmm, I’m looking forward to it!” he stated.

I thought about the song that he chose to put on my phone, wondering if his feelings were that genuine.
I’m yours
, the lyrics informed.

“
I really like my new ringtone!” I smiled. Despite his motives, he managed to somehow find my favorite song.

“
Good! I’m glad,” he sighed, sounding relieved.

“
Pretty deep though, don’t you think?” I asked, prompting him to explain the reason why he chose
that
song.

“
Maybe that was the intention,” he retorted. “I wanted to get a message across so there’s no confusion.”

I swallowed hard, my subconscious fighting to protect me from getting crushed again.

“
I love Jason Mraz,” I continued, trying to stay on the lighter side. “He’s one of my all-time favorites.”

“
I know. You have all of his CDs - minus the one that’s in my possession,” he said, laughing quickly.

I thought about how he held me this morning and how desperately I wanted him to hold me again…in his warm arms.

Could he be mine forever?

“
So… am I to understand that you’re
mine
?” I asked teasingly.

“
I can be yours if you want me to be, Taryn,” he whispered.

My breath hitched from his words. My pulse quickened and my fingers started to tremble.

“
Is that your intention?” I asked, still skeptical.

Ryan cleared his throat. “My intention is to let you know where my heart is. The rest… the rest is up to you,” he said softly.

I took another deep breath. My own heart was thumping in my chest now. “So… now what? Where do we go from here?”

“
We give it a chance,” Ryan declared quite convincingly.

It was almost midnight when R
yan secretly entered through the back door of my pub. The light was turned off, so the kitchen was dark when he arrived. He had his jacket hood pulled up over his head again and his trusty messenger bag was slung over his shoulder.

I had just locked the door behind him when he dropped his stuffed bag on the floor and slowly walked to stand in front of me.

“
Hello,” he whispered and gently smiled, bending slightly to give me a hug. Without hesitating, he slipped one hand around my waist; his other hand pressed higher on my back.

This hug was different – way different from his normal approach. He always hugged me around my shoulders; my arms would go around
his
waist.

His new stance surprised me and naturally forced my arms to wrap around his shoulders. My nose skimmed across his chest when he pulled me in.
God he smells good!

His fingertips pressed into my back as his lips softly kissed my forehead.

Fire burned through my veins; the touch of his lips on my skin sent a wave of arousal through my core. My hands responded instantly and instinctively and without conscious intervention I started to caress his neck.

The light from the bar peeked through the cracked kitchen door, illuminating his cheek in the darkness. My fingers reached to trace the light on his face. He looked down at me with smoldering eyes.

Slowly he leaned towards me and pressed his lips to mine. His first kisses were tender, pausing to rest his lips on mine (I suppose to measure my reaction) but my mouth encouraged him to proceed.

I felt his lips part as the soft tip of his tongue joined in with his kiss. His mouth was soft, wet, and completely hypnotic. Desire for him shot through every cell in my body, consuming my every thought.

He placed his warm hand on my neck to hold my face to his as he kissed me passionately.

My protective shell of self-preservation shattered into a million pieces as the entire outside world ceased to exist. Our lips moved together in perfect harmony as his tongue glided against mine.

His kissing was far better than I could have ever imagined. I tried like hell to remember why I had denied myself this type of pleasure for so long, but the heat from his ragged breath surged right into my head and melted my brain.

His hands were holding my face when he broke away from our kiss. He wrapped his arms around my body.

No, don’t stop!
What was left of my brain pleaded for him to keep kissing me.

“
You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Ryan whispered.

My heart was beating so fast, I wondered if he could feel it pounding through his jacket. I took a half step back and bumped into the counter behind me; I was quite light-headed. My hand was clenched on the front of his jacket when I staggered back; my grip pulled his body forward.

Like a lightning flash, he grabbed me under my arms and lifted me up onto the counter; his forcefulness turned me on even more.

My fingers wove into his hair and my legs wrapped around his hips; our lips expressed our mutual desire. He pressed himself into me; I could feel through his jeans that he was completely aroused. My mind raced, thinking about having him inside me.

His fingers clenched and clawed at the back pockets of my jeans, pulling me forward and bumping me into him. I envisioned him making love to me right here on this counter. By the way he rubbed into me, I was sure he was thinking the same thing. I softly moaned as the hunger turned to passion.

The intensity of our kissing calmed and slowed until our lips rested together. We both smiled.

“
I don’t remember. Did I even say hi?” Ryan whispered, joking with me.

“
Yes. You had me at hello!” I giggled on his lips.

He chuckled in my mouth.

“
I think you have me confused with another famous actor,” he said, kissing me in between laughs.

His mouth locked back on mine, convincing me that this amazing connection between us deserved a chance to grow.

Both of our hands had already found skin; his hands were under my shirt and midway up my back. One of my hands had skimmed down his neck and underneath the collar of his T-shirt.

I had his bottom lip between my teeth when thoughts of Marie walking in on our make-out session started to put a damper on my lust.

“
You know… before we get busted…”

I slipped off the counter and into his arms.

Ryan gathered his bag from the floor. I was amused to see that he had to adjust his pants. His arousal was definitely noticeable.