LoveBetrayed (4 page)

Daniel’s hands slowly slid up his chest until Daniel gripped
his shoulders tightly. Then he began to move. Harry gasped and cried out,
biting off the sound before it could carry through the woods. Daniel moved
again, slow and steady and Harry learned his pace, learned the push and tug of
it, until he could join in. When he did, Daniel’s fingers bit into his shoulder
and his thrusts grew deeper and harder and faster. And still Harry kept up with
him, drove Daniel on and took what he gave while demanding more, both with his
body and in words.

They were so close, Daniel’s breath huffing in his ear,
pressed together from shoulders to hips and buttocks. “Harry, Harry, Harry,”
Daniel chanted quietly in time with his thrusts. There was more than desperate
passion in his voice. There was the sort of sentimental tenderness Daniel had
said he was incapable of, the sort of relationship he said he’d never had and
never would.

“I love you,” Harry whispered. “Let the world be damned. I
love you.”

Daniel’s motion slowed and stuttered, the equivalent of a
stumble. He said nothing, just started again in the same rhythm. But he held
Harry tighter and bit down on the sensitive tendon where shoulder met neck.
Harry made a desperate sound and he felt his sac grow tight and his prick hot.
“Daniel, I’m going to come,” he said, panicked it was too soon, that Daniel
needed more.

His admission spurred Daniel to ride him harder. It was too
much. “Now,” Daniel said roughly, but it was too late. He’d already started to
come furiously, his hips jerking as hot semen splashed against the tree trunk
and splattered his bare thighs. He couldn’t help himself, he reached down and
grabbed his cock and pumped it, relishing the tight grip of his fist as another
spasm of release shook him. And just as the wave of pleasure began to subside
Daniel came. He felt it and he cried out at the heat that bloomed inside him as
Daniel yanked him back hard on his cock and growled low. The jerking of
Daniel’s cock gave him a brief echo of his orgasm and he tightened on the cock
inside him, making Daniel grip his shoulders so tightly he knew he’d have
bruises.

When it was over they both collapsed into a heap beside the
tree, Daniel’s body cupped around his from behind, Daniel still holding him
tightly. His cock slipped out and Harry missed it there. He was both elated and
fearful. Daniel had taken him and they’d both loved it. But he’d also confessed
his love in the heat of passion. What would Daniel do now? If he ran, Harry
knew he’d give chase. But how long would it take to catch him again?

“Tell me about it.”

Harry’s voice was drowsy and he moved closer to Daniel, his
back to Daniel’s front. He lightly held Daniel’s wrist to keep his arm around
him, as if he were afraid Daniel was going to roll away and run again, but not
wanting to scare him off by holding on too hard. To reassure him, Daniel
tightened his hold and pulled him even closer. “No. It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously not nothing. Tell me.”

Daniel knew they should both get up and get dressed and
leave. This place, and these woods, was almost a routine, and those were
dangerous in his line of work. People learned your routine and they used it
against you—to kill you, to trap you, to trick you. But he couldn’t leave. Not
yet. Harry had given him something precious tonight. He didn’t want to bring
his work here, not with Harry, but he owed him. Against his will he began to
talk.

“Nothing out of the ordinary, really,” he began, and he was
struck by the truth of it. How bizarre his life had become. “I had to meet a
French informant and I nearly got caught. I’ve been working with him for
months, had even grown almost chummy with him. Tonight he betrayed me. I had to
kill him.” Harry said nothing. He simply held Daniel’s wrist a little tighter.
“I realized I’d grown sloppy. My reflexes are too slow. He nearly got me. After
I dispatched him I heard a hue and cry not a thousand yards away. The garrison
waiting for his signal. He must have given it and I was unaware. Their pursuit
was dogged and the man in charge determined. I detoured four or five times,
nearly got lost in enemy territory, and raced past the sentries without giving
the password and was nearly shot by my own side for my trouble. What a night.”

“I’m sorry you had to kill your friend.” Harry’s voice was
soft but not drowsy at all anymore. He sounded soul weary and sad. Like Daniel
felt.

“The most unreal moment of the evening was searching his
pockets after I killed him and finding the very information he was supposed to
be selling. Why on earth would he have the information on his person if he was
going to betray me?” Daniel shook his head. “There are times I do not
understand the vanity of men.”

“Vanity?” Harry asked. He was playing with Daniel’s fingers,
tracing the shape of them and nibbling on the tips. It distracted him.

Daniel nuzzled Harry’s neck. He loved the way he smelled of
sweat and leather and horse and wine, not particularly in that order. Pipe
smoke clung to his jacket. “Yes, vanity. He thought he had me, thought he could
carry those dispatches to our meeting with impunity. And it was a futile
gesture. He died and I now have possession of them. Well, I did. I gave them to
James already.” And what a meeting that had been. James berating him for his
poor performance at the same time hinting he knew exactly what Daniel needed
and could provide the service if Daniel liked. Daniel did not like. He’d wanted
Harry. He bit Harry, barely closing his teeth around that sweet tendon in his
neck that drove him mad.

“Ow,” Harry said without rancor. “What was that for?”

“For giving me what I needed.”

“Well now I need something.” Harry sighed and with obvious
reluctance rolled out of Daniel’s arms.

“What’s that?” Daniel asked with a grin as he leaned back on
his elbows and watched Harry awkwardly stand with his pants still around his
ankles. Harry made a face and pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket
and began to clean up.

“A bath,” Harry said with disgust.

Daniel laughed and rolled lightly to his feet. “Do you need
me to wash away your sins?”

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” Harry intoned
somberly.

“I’m a Jew, not a Papist,” Daniel told him. “I can only part
the Red Sea.”

Harry laughed. “You’ve never really talked about that,” he
said, glancing at him curiously. “I’ve met other Jews in the army, heard them
talk. I’ve not known you to attend services with them.”

“I’m a Jew by birth, not by practice,” Daniel said. He was
struck again by how bizarre this night was. He went for months without any
mention of being a Jew, and yet tonight he’d identified himself as such twice.
What did that mean? He shook it off. Clearly it was a product of the
philosophical questioning he’d been doing ever since he met Harry.

“Are you from London?” Harry asked.

“Good God,” Daniel said, shock turning him immobile for a
moment. “Do we really know so little about one another?”

“You’ve never wanted to talk much,” Harry said with a heavy
dose of sarcasm in his voice.

Daniel laughed. “Yes, I’m from London. I come from a family
of silk merchants. Not very exciting.”

“I think you’re exciting,” Harry told him with a grin. “So
how did a nice Jewish son from a good family end up here?”

“I keep asking myself that every day,” Daniel mused. “The
best I can figure is I took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. What about
you? Are you from London?”

They were both dressed now and walking slowly back to camp.
Though Daniel would dearly love to spend the whole night out here with Harry,
it didn’t pay to attract attention.

Harry seemed reluctant to answer his question. “Yes and no,”
he finally replied. “I’ve spent a great deal of time there, but I was born in
Northumberland.”

“Northumberland?” Daniel was a little surprised. Harry
didn’t sound as if he came from that far north. “I never would have guessed.”

“Like I said, I spent a great deal of time in London and
Kent, at school.”

He was hiding something. Daniel was very good at recognizing
lies and deceit. “What are you not telling me, Harry?”

“I—”

“Hello, Daniel.” A figure materialized out of the woods to
Harry’s right and Daniel immediately stepped in front of Harry, crowding him
back against a tree. It was Wolf Tarrant, one of James’ lackeys. Tarrant was a
bit off. He hated what they did, but he was very good at it, particularly the
killing part. He kept to himself and grew more morose and frightening every
day.

“Good evening, Tarrant,” he said calmly.

“You should be careful,” Tarrant said, looking around.
“These woods are dark and dangerous. You should be careful,” he repeated, “you
and your…friend.” He cocked his head as he looked at Harry. “Lieutenant.”

Harry bowed his head, discreetly shoving at Daniel, trying
to get out from behind him. “Good evening,” Harry said congenially. “Have we
met before?”

Tarrant just kept looking at him oddly. Finally he shook his
head. “No. James told me who you were. He wanted me to watch you.”

Daniel went very still. He didn’t consider Tarrant a friend,
not like LaRoche had been. And yet he’d killed LaRoche tonight. He was loath to
have to kill Tarrant, too. But he would without a second thought if he made a
move toward Harry.

“Why?” Harry asked curiously, no sign in his voice of the
tension now filling the air.

Tarrant shrugged. “I don’t know. I think he wants you.”

Harry stopped shoving. “For what?”

“To work for him.”

“I told him I didn’t want to.”

“You don’t get to say no.”

They were standing very still, all of them, about twenty
feet apart. Daniel was tense, waiting for Tarrant to make his move. But Tarrant
just stood there watching them, looking at Harry’s hand clutching Daniel’s arm.
His gaze met Daniel’s. “Remember what I said. Be careful. Good night.” He faded
back into the trees and was gone. Daniel could feel his absence.

Behind him Harry shivered. “What’s wrong with him?”

Daniel shook his head. “He’s been with James too long, I
think.” He pulled Harry after him as he hurried back to camp. “Don’t go
anywhere alone until I get to the bottom of this.”

“What do you mean?” Harry wasn’t arguing. Good. That meant
he’d do as he was told. He was clearly no fool. Perhaps he’d finally realized
how dangerous Sir Barnabas James was.

“I’m going to see James and make it clear you are not going
to join his service.”

“What the devil do you think you’re doing?” Daniel demanded
as he stormed into James’ tent. The sentries outside had merely watched as he
angrily approached and barged in. They were fools to trust him. Then again,
several people angry enough to kill him probably stormed into James’ tent on a
daily basis. And yet the bastard still lived.

“My correspondence,” James replied smoothly, setting his pen
down on the table. “While it is annoying, I hardly think it warrants such
theatrics.”

“Why do you have Tarrant following Lieutenant Ashbury?”

“Why do you care?” James countered. At Daniel’s silence, he
smiled. With his dark hair and eyes, olive complexion and perfect teeth he was
a gorgeous snake, and he knew it. That smile had long ago lost the ability to
fool Daniel. “Isn’t this what you want?”

His comment threw Daniel into confusion. “What I want? What
do you mean?”

James rose from his chair and walked over to Daniel,
stopping just in front of him. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back
and simply regarded Daniel for a long moment. If he was hoping to unnerve him
he failed. Daniel had known him too long. “I assumed you’d want to work closely
with Ashbury.”

“What? Why?” His observation unnerved Daniel far more than
his predatory stare had. Daniel knew it was foolish to feel panic over James’
knowledge of his and Harry’s relationship. There had never been a chance he
wouldn’t discover what was going on. Daniel had always known that.

“Don’t play coy, Daniel. It doesn’t suit you. And I don’t
require it.” James walked back behind his little table full of correspondence
and sat down again. “I am giving you what you want.”

“No. No, you’re not.” Daniel walked over and rested his
fists on the table, leaning over until they were face-to-face. “I do not want
Ashbury in your service. I do not want him at risk.”

“At risk? Has it escaped your notice that we are at war?
That Ashbury is an officer?” James scoffed incredulously. “Daniel, he’s at risk
every moment he’s here. The chances are very good he’s going to die. Surely you
know that. Don’t fool yourself otherwise. Working for me or continuing his
service in the dragoons—either way he will die.”

Daniel had trouble breathing as he digested James’
assessment. Daniel had told himself the same things time and again, and yet
hearing it spoken aloud as if it were fated to pass made him sick. “He will not
die,” he said in a rough whisper. “I won’t let him.”

James reached out and gently covered one of Daniel’s hands
with his. “You cannot prevent it,” he said quietly. “I thought to give him to
you for as long as I could.”

Daniel shook his head, trying to clear the image from his
mind. “Why?” he asked. “I don’t understand you.”

“Don’t you?” James lifted his hand from Daniel’s and leaned
back in his chair. “I would do anything for you. I think you are the only one
who doesn’t realize that.”

“What?” Daniel was flabbergasted as James’ admission. “But
we…that is…I didn’t realize.”

James smiled. He was back to his usual enigmatic behavior.
Self-contained and secretive and so sublimely amused by everyone and
everything. “Of course you didn’t. What I’m saying is that if you want Ashbury,
I will get him for you. That’s all.”

“I don’t want him.”

“Liar.”

Daniel gritted his teeth and made a frustrated sound as he
spun away from James. “Not that way. I don’t want to own him. I…what we have is
fine. I don’t want more.”

“You already have more. If that’s not what you want, then
you should inform your lieutenant. I don’t believe he understands what you
need.”

“And you do?” Daniel had gotten himself under control. “You
presume.”

“I do. I have known you a long time, Daniel. And I have
known you intimately. You have always needed more.”

“Need and want are two different things.”

“Touché.” James got up again and followed in Daniel’s
footsteps until they faced one another again. “Let me give this to you,
Daniel,” he whispered. He broke all protocol and unspoken rules between them by
caressing Daniel’s cheek tenderly with his forefinger. “I will give you
anything you want. Anything.”

“I don’t want Harry here. I don’t want him working here, for
you, at risk. I know we’re at war, but what you and I do here is…it’s ugly,
Barnabas. You know it is. Don’t bring Harry into that. He’s not part of that.
He’s different.” Daniel felt as if he’d opened up a vein to reveal even that
much to James.

“Then I will keep him safe for you,” he said quietly. “Is
that what you want? Be very clear, Daniel. Because I will do it. For you.”

Daniel couldn’t breathe under that sort of pressure. James
was all-powerful in this world. He controlled life and death here far more
effectively than his lordship or Napoleon. This was his world, a world of chaos
and death and, if he chose, life. And he was offering all that power to Daniel.
“Why?”

“You are my conscience,” James said, still quiet, still secretive,
his face closed and his emotions leashed as he made confessions that would
break lesser men. “You keep me grounded and sane in this insane place and time.
You are a good thing in this living hell. You have made me forget, for short
periods of time, what I do here. For that, I will give you anything.”

He felt he owed James equal honesty. “I don’t feel the same.
I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t hold your companionship in esteem, I do, but I
consider you a friend and colleague, nothing more.” He felt as if he were
betraying James just saying the words.

“I know,” James said without rancor, his expression still
unreadable.

“Then what do you require in return for keeping Harry safe?”

“Nothing.” The way he said it made Daniel believe he meant
it.

Daniel turned away, unable to bear the weight of James’
regard. He understood James’ feelings. Harry was that person for Daniel. For
the first time he regretted that it wasn’t James. They were alike in so many
ways. James understood him in ways Harry never would. “Yes,” he whispered,
answering James’ earlier question. “Yes, that’s what I want.”

“Then I will make it so.”

Daniel left the tent without looking at James. A strange
sense of foreboding filled him. No matter what he said, James’ favors were
never free.