Loverly:The Life and Times of My Fair Lady (Broadway Legacies) (41 page)

Oh why can’t the English learn to

Set a good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?

Canadians pulverise it

In Ireland they despise it.

There even are places where English completely disappears.

Americans haven’t used it for years.

Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak?

In Norway there are legions of literate Norwegians.

In German a wee mistake and the Germans rant and roar;

And promptly prepare to go to war.

In Italy ev’ry tenor learns his language like the gospel.

The Hebrews learn it backwards which would seem to be imposs-bel.

But use proper English, you’re regarded as a freak.

Oh why can’t the English

Use standard English?

Why can’t the English learn to speak?

The original lyric was as follows (with the cut passages in bold text):

Love appears at the most peculiar places.

You can never foresee when it will start.

Love attacked me while I was at the races;

And I lost my money and my heart.

(dialogue with Mrs. Pearce)

There’s the tree she rushes under when it starts to rain.

See the way it’s filled with bloom.

And isn’t there a garland all around that window-pane?

That could only be her room!

This street is like a garden

And her door a garden gate.

What a lovely place to wait.

I have often walked down this street before;

(
as published, up to:
)

No, it’s just on the street where she lives”

Some men hate to wait and wait

If by chance the girl is late.

I don’t mind the waiting part at all.

Some get bored and wander on;

Curse their fate and soon are gone.

I would wait through winter spring and fall.

For oh! the towering feeling

(
etc
.)

Verse 2

Now they’re at the gate

For the second run.

Now the cue is sounding;

They are bounding

Forward—

Look! It has begun!

What a burst of pandemonium!

Never heard the like of it any place.

’Twas a thrilling, absolutely chilling

Running of the Ascot Second Race!

End of Scene

There they are again

For another run.

Now they’re holding steady,

Each equestrian is ready

For it—

Look! It has begun!

Pickering

Tonight, old man, you did it!

You did it! You did it!

You said that you would do it

And indeed you did.

I thought that you would rue it;

I doubted you’d do it.

But now I must admit it

That succeed you did.

Pickering

You should get a medal

Or be even made a knight.

Servants

They should honour you

By making you a knight.

Pickering

All alone you hurdled

Ev’ry obstacle in sight.

Higgins

I must confess

Without undue conceit,

It was an electrifying feat!

Pickering

And you’re the one who did it!

Who did it … who did it!

I said you couldn’t do it

But you pulled her through.

Tonight, old man, you did it!

You did it! You did it!

I know that I have said it

But you did it and the credit

For it all belongs to you!

Servants

Congratulations,

Professor Higgins!

For your glorious

Victory!

Congratulations,

Professor Higgins!

You’ll be mentioned

In history!

Servants

Congratulations,

Professor Higgins!

Who would dream you

Could pull her through?

Congratulations,

Professor Higgins!

Sing a hail and halleluiah!

Ev’ry bit of credit

For it all belongs to you!

1
. Ovid (trans. John Dryden),
Metamorphoses
, Wordsworth Classics Edition (London: Wordsworth, 1998), 325.

2
. Alan Jay Lerner,
The Street Where I Live
(London: Hodder and Staughton, 1978), 29–119. Page numbers refer to the 1989 English paperback edition with a foreword by Benny Green (New York: Da Capo Press, 1989).

3
. Steven Bach,
Dazzler: The Life and Times of Moss Hart
(New York: Knopf, 2001). David Mark D’Andre, “The Theatre Guild, Carousel, and the Cultural Field of American Musical Theatre” (PhD diss., Yale University, May 2000).

4
. Dan Laurence, ed.,
Bernard Shaw: Collected Letters 1926–50
(New York: Viking, 1988), 528. In an earlier letter to novelist and playwright Siegfried Trebitsch, Shaw revealed that he had suggested that Straus’s score for
The Chocolate Soldier
be provided with “a new libretto bearing a new name” and referred to the operetta as “the abominable C.S.” Letter of April 28, 1931, Shaw to Trebitsch in ibid, 236–37.

5
. Letter of August 28, 1921, Shaw to Trebitsch, in Dan Laurence, ed.,
Bernard Shaw: Collected Letters 1911–25
(New York: Viking, 1985), 730–31.

6
. In a letter of December 18, 1907, to Trebitsch on hearing that Straus intended to set his play to music rather than merely use an idea from act 1, Shaw wrote: “Such a musical version would simply drive the play off the boards,” in Dan Laurence, ed.,
Bernard Shaw: Collected Letters 1898–1910
(New York: Dodd, Mead, 1972), 742.

7
. Letter of February 3, 1948, Shaw to E. A. Prentice in ibid., 813.

8
. Letter of April 5, 1948, Shaw to Fanny Holtzmann in ibid., 817.

9
. Lewis Funke, “The Long View of Mary Martin’s Plans after
South Pacific
,”
New York Times,
May 20, 1951, 11.

10
. Sam Zolotow, “Goldsmith Writes Play for Mitchell,”
New York Times,
October 5, 1951, 38.

11
. Memorandum of October 24, 1951, Marshall to Langner,
TGC
, 137.

12
. Interoffice memorandum of January 4, 1952, by Langner,
TGC
, 137.

13
. Letter of February 15, 1952, Langner to Pascal,
TGC
, 137.

14
. Lewis Funke, “Theatre Guild Mentioned as Producer of
Pygmalion
Musical,”
New York Times,
January 27, 1952, X1.

15
. A complete score for
Spring
was rediscovered by the author during the course of the research for this book and received its first complete performance since the original 1945 Broadway run by the London-based Lost Musicals organization in June 2010.

16
. “On the 21st he dangled in front of Anderson a play that was certainly among those he was to discuss with Alan Jay Lerner a year or two later—
Pygmalion
.” David Drew,
Kurt Weill: A Handbook
(London: Faber, 1987), 419–20. Lerner and Weill eventually collaborated on
Love Life
(1948).

17
. See Valerie Pascal,
The Disciple and his Devil
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 1970), 239.

18
. Telegram of March 22, 1952, Langner to Pascal,
TGC
, 137.

19
. Lerner,
Street
, 49–51.

20
. Letter of May 10, 1952. Lerner to Pascal,
TGC
, 137.

21
. Letter of May 22, 1952, Langner to Fitelson.
TGC
, 137.

22
. Sam Zolotow, “Michael Todd Eyes
Ninotchka
Script,”
New York Times
, May 30, 1952, 12.

23
. Lewis Funke, “Plans for Musicalizing
Pygmalion
Are Making Progress,”
New York Times
, June 1, 1952, X1.

24
. Letter of June 17, 1952, Langner to Helburn; letter of June 19, 1952, Marshall to Helburn,
TGC
, Box 62.

25
. Letter of June 20, 1952, Helburn to Langner.
TGC
, Box 62. Less than three months later, Lawrence died of cancer, which was undoubtedly the cause of her problems in performance. Sheridan Morley,
Gertrude Lawrence
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 1981), 197–98.

26
. Telegram of June 25, 1952 (10:15 a.m.), Langner to Helburn,
TGC
, 137.

27
. Telegram of June 25, 1952 (11 a.m.), Langner to Helburn, ibid.

28
. Letter of June 27, 1952, Langner to Helburn.
TGC
, 62. Quoted in D’Andre, “Theatre Guild,” 248; Valerie Pascal,
Disciple
, 220.

29
. Crawford describes her difficulties in her autobiography,
One Naked Individual: My Fifty Years in the Theatre
(New York: Bobbs-Merrill, 1977). Letter of July 1, Helburn to Langner,
TGC
, 62.

30
. D’Andre, “Theatre Guild,” 248. D’Andre does not cite a source for this piece of information.

31
. Letter of July 18, Langner to Helburn.
TGC
, 137.

32
. Telegram of August 7, 1952, Harrison to Langner.
TGC
, 59.

33
. Interestingly, Noël Coward’s published diary for July 28, 1952, indicates that he had been approached by the Theatre Guild to write a
Pygmalion
musical for Mary Martin at this time. Graham Payn and Sheridan Morley, eds.,
The Noel Coward Diaries
(London: Macmillan, 1983), 196.

34
. Both D’Andre and Valerie Pascal agree on this date, though neither cites a source. D’Andre, “Theatre Guild,” 249; Pascal,
Disciple,
221. Pascal’s copy of the contract is held in the Pascal Collection, Howard Gottlieb Archival Research Center, Boston University.

35
. Lerner,
Street
, 38.