Love's Call (39 page)

Avril beat him to it, as if she’d read his mind. She reached up, laying her palm flat against his cheek. “You shaved. And, cut your hair.”

Nodding, he put his hand over hers to keep contact. A tremor shot down his spine when she pressed into him instead of pulling away, her small breasts flat against him.

He caressed the back of her hand, slowly moving downward, brushing his fingertips against the skin of her wrist, then her forearm.

Roduch slipped his hand into the wide sleeve of her dress, touching the soft skin of her elbow, feeling her shiver.

He needed her naked.
Now.

The tightening in his breeches told Roduch how much his body agreed. But he couldn’t do that until she was ready. He wouldn’t push her.

After dropping his hand to his side, he swallowed hard.

Avril’s green gaze locked onto his. “Why did you stop? I like when you touch me.”

Roduch groaned and tugged her into his arms. She quivered against him, and he squeezed her tight, pressing a kiss to her head instead of taking her mouth like he wanted to. “You trembled. I wasn’t sure what it meant.”

“I was anticipating more.”

His heart fluttered. “Really?”

“Yes. I was hoping you would kiss me again.” Avril’s confession was whispered, her cheeks were crimson.

Adorable.

“Aye. I’ll kiss you any time you want.”

“How about now?”

Against his better judgment, Roduch lowered his head and brushed her lips. He needed to keep it simple and tender, to not overwhelm her.

Slow
.

But the moment her soft wet mouth started moving under his, he was lost.

She opened for him without urging. Their tongues mingled and Roduch kissed her harder. Avril moaned and pushed closer, reaching up to put her arms around his neck. She was so diminutive she couldn’t reach more.

He lifted her off the floor, and her arms went around him. She rocked her hips into his, rubbing his arousal with enough pressure to tease, make him want more.

Roduch tore his mouth away, panting. He couldn’t do this to her. “I want you,” he breathed, resting his forehead against hers.

“I want you, too,” Avril said, cheeks flushed, expression hazy with passion. “I love you, Roduch.”

He froze, staring into her green eyes. His heart tripped. “What?”

Hurt flashed across her beautiful face, and she averted her gaze.

Wrong answer, stupid wretch.

“Avril, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, but she wouldn’t look at him. He set her to her feet and cupped her cheeks, tilting up until she didn’t have a choice but to meet his eyes again. “That came out wrong. You took me by surprise. I never thought you would say that to me.”

“I feel it. It…just came out.”

“Good.” Roduch read hope in her gorgeous eyes. “I love you, too.”

Avril shrieked and threw herself into his arms.

Chuckling, he caught her up and kissed her again, pulling her off the floor again as she clung to him. He kissed her languorously and deeply, exploring her mouth as she did the same with his. The earlier urgency was still there, but rightness settled over him with her in his arms.

Avril was his and Roduch would never let her go. But he wanted her. He
ached
for her, erection trapped between them.

She wasn’t ready.

“We need to stop. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

She pulled back, staring at him. “You’re not. I love kissing you. I love how it makes me feel.”

“Good. I love kissing you, too. I need to be with you, Avril. More than I need to breathe. But even more than that, I need
you
to be ready. Your needs are greater than my own, love. So when it’s time, I can show you what making love is. That day is not today.”

Her breath was ragged, and her cheeks stained a deeper red.

Roduch bit back a groan.

Wished he could change his mind, but he wouldn’t push her.

****

Avril stared into the pale blue eyes of the man she loved. “I want to know what making love is like.” Words exited her mouth on the breath she was struggling for.

Roduch groaned and closed his eyes.

Now she knew what desire was, what it felt like, but was she ready to take the next step?

Her whole body was warm, and the place between her legs ached. Her breasts felt heavy, and her skin itched to have his hands on her.

Was she ready to be with him today?

Have his big body on top of her, his manhood inside her?

Avril swallowed. She wrapped her legs around her love’s waist so she could get even closer to him. An erection pushed back, but she wasn’t afraid. “I love you, Roduch.”

She kissed both cheeks and smothered his mouth with tiny wet kisses until her man finally took her lips properly.

His arms shook around her, and he backed up to the bed, his strong—yet gentle—hold on her body never wavering.

Roduch sat, settling Avril on his lap.

He yanked his mouth off hers, his massive chest panting against her breasts. “I need to stop now. Before I can’t.”

Her pulse thundered in her ears and made her head spin.

She didn’t say anything.

“Avril. What do you want?” His beautiful eyes bored into her.

Was she ready?

Repetition of the question wasn’t making an answer materialize.

Avril couldn’t find her voice.

Roduch rested his forehead against hers. “I see doubt in your eyes, love.” There was no censure in his voice. No judgment, just the patience he always had with her.

Her stomach somersaulted. “What if I don’t know? What I want…because I’ve never experienced it.”

He offered a soft smile. “We’ll get there, love. I’ll show you everything.”

“Can you hold me? I want to lay with you like we do in my room.”

Roduch kissed her and nodded. Without dislodging Avril, he scooted back into the large bed, nestling her in his arms and against his chest, his carved wooden headboard at his back. He stroked her shoulders and hair, and she rested her head against him.

“When you’re ready, it doesn’t have to be everything at once, Avril. There are many ways to make each other feel good without joining bodies fully.”

She lifted her head and their eyes met. Her heart flipped at the love she
felt
. Avril didn’t have to concentrate to see his aura. Roduch glowed with love for
her.

“We have turns—we have forever. If you’ll have me.”

Avril froze. Surprise and hope washed over her. His blue eyes were warm and tender. “Yes. A hundred times yes,” she blurted. “I mean…if you’re asking.”

He cupped her face and laughed. “Aye, I’m asking.” He pressed his lips to hers. “Avril, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She wrapped her arms around him, spreading kisses over his cheeks and forehead, causing him another chuckle.

“I never thought you would want to remarry.” Roduch’s voice was low and serious.

Avril smiled and shook her head. “I’m done with my past. I won’t think of anything but my future with you.” The smile that curved his lips made her stomach flutter. “I fell in love with you. So yes, I want to marry the man I love. You were meant for me. Your visions prove it.”

“Fate. You were meant for me. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Roduch whispered.

“And children?”

“Of course. Only if they’re yours.” He smiled.

Her heart plummeted to her gut. A sharp pain destroyed the languid feeling in her limbs. Avril closed her eyes and looked away.

“What is it?” Roduch tugged on her hand.

“I don’t think I can have children.”

“Avril, look at me.”

She obeyed and their gazes collided. His expression was so tender it made her love him even more.

“You can.”

“I’m not sure I…” She refused to think of her former husband. Avril swallowed hard.

“Lord Dagget said he saw no reason within your body that you cannot. I don’t think
you
were the reason that you…failed to conceive.”

“He did?” She had to suck in a breath, and her pulse kicked up.

Roduch nodded.

Avril shrieked and threw her arms around his neck.

He laughed, but it was cut off as she kissed him, deep and urgent.

Their eyes met as the kiss ended and they panted against each other.

“Many things, you said?”

“Aye.”

“These things you can show me…can it be today?”

Roduch’s gaze raked her face. “Avril?”

“I…want to try. I want to be with you. Can we try?”

The apple of this throat bobbed as he swallowed, but her betrothed nodded. “I won’t hurt you or do anything you don’t want. Anything you’re not ready for.”

“I know.”

“If it becomes too much, at any time, you are to tell me, and we will stop,” he said firmly, gripping her shoulders and squeezing. “Promise me, Avril.”

“Promise.” She nodded and crashed her mouth to his.

He cupped her face, preventing her from deepening their kiss. “I love you, Avril.”

“I know. Time to show me.”

Roduch flashed a grin and fused their mouths.

Chapter Thirty-nine

Ansley stood outside Leargan’s door wringing her hands.

Why is this so hard?

Oh, I don’t know…maybe because your future and the future of your unborn child is at stake?

She hadn’t had the guts to speak to him at the feast.

Ansley had stared at Leargan all evening, looking away whenever their eyes met. And since she’d been watching him so hard, their gazes had collided a great deal.

Like he could see right through me.

Her face had probably been as red as the deeply hued gown Cera had insisted she wear.

Red had never been Ansley’s color. But the dress was a stunner, for sure. Tight with a laced corset that pushed her breasts up, and like her green gown from Cera, lower cut than she was comfortable in. She’d gotten stares all night, and not just from Leargan.

Ansley had hurried back to her room and ripped it off at first chance, settling for a brown earth-toned soft dress she’d begged of Cera’s steward, Gamel, from the stores. No corset. It was loose and worn, and she could breathe in it.

Which was good, because she needed to breathe right now.

Pacing, she chided herself for cowardice.

The corridor was empty, because it was very late.

Still, she needed to make a decision.

Sooner than later.

If someone saw her alone in the soldier wing—a place where women were scarce—and word got back to her father, Sir Murdoch would take matters into his own hands. A priest would be called even if there was no impropriety witnessed.

Ansley groaned, settling her hand over her lower stomach. Until they were married—if he still wanted to marry her—she and Leargan’s child was more than
improper
.

Knock. Make a fist and knock on the door. Right. Now.

But all she could manage a stare at the thick wooden panel. Ansley had never been so close to him, yet so far away.

Cera had insisted Leargan loved her.

So why couldn’t she find out?

All you have to do is knock. When he opens the door, tell him you love him. That’s it.

Thinking about what the duchess had said made too much sense.

The time he’d been gone
had
helped clear her head—though she’d missed him so much Ansley ached from it.

She’d called him a liar when he’d said he
wanted
to marry her.

What if her hostility and accusation had changed his mind?

What if Leargan doesn’t want me anymore?

Would the child in her belly be the only reason he’d marry her? Do
right
by her?

No.
Ansley didn’t want him that way.

Her eyes burned and she blinked.

Stop jumping to conclusions and face him.

You were
wrong
.

The knock on the door was low, quick, but it resounded in her ears and in her heart.

Ansley waited.

Swallowed hard.

The door remained shut in front of her, and she closed her eyes, struggling for breath as rejection settled over her. Maybe Leargan knew it was Ansley at the door and wasn’t going to answer.

Should she knock again? Or leave?

Could she live with herself if she didn’t try?

“Ansley?”

The surprise in his voice had her eyes flying open, her heart thundering in her ears. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came.

Leargan peeked around the door, head moving back and forth as he scanned the empty corridor. Then he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his room.

Ansley didn’t fight him as her feet shuffled forward.

“It’s late…and…” the love of her life shrugged, and she managed a nod. He didn’t want to deal with the prospect of her being caught alone with him anymore than she did.

“I…need…to talk to you.” She cleared her throat.

He said nothing as his eyes drank her in. Looking her up and down as if he hadn’t seen her in turns. The apple of his throat bobbed. “You’re so beautiful.”

Heat seared her cheeks. Ansley shifted on her feet. She didn’t feel beautiful in the plain brown dress; it was more of a shift than a gown.

His dark gaze bored into her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” she whispered, jolting as the confession passed her lips and made Leargan freeze before her.

“Love, I…”

“Leargan, I…” They spoke at the same time. Tears burned her eyes, and she wanted to rush into his arms. He’d called her
love.
Blessed Spirit, she’d missed that.

Leargan reached for her hand, shoulders loosening. “Come, sit with me.”

Ansley let him guide her to his bed, and they both took a seat on its edge.

The bed was probably a bad idea. She avoided looking at his soft sleeping furs and pillows, even though memories assaulted her. They’d only made love in his bed a few times, but she could see it—feel it—as if it was yesterday and everything was right between them.

She fell into his eyes as soon as she had the courage to look at his face. So handsome. Stubble graced his cheeks, and she wanted to touch him. Lean in and kiss him, have his strong arms around her.

Ansley had to fix things. “I…” Words failed but she sucked in a breath and swallowed against the lump in her throat.