Love's Sweet Surrender (12 page)

“But…” Lily’s voice reached his ears just as he pulled the hat down on his brow.

“'Night, Madge. Lily.” He walked out the door and tipped his hat to the two women. He swung into the saddle and turned toward home.

Once he reached the outskirts of town, he chastised himself for what had happened.
I should never have kissed her.
What the hell was I thinking?
He couldn’t betray Victoria like that. He wouldn’t be able to move on with his life until he found her killers, and to encourage Lily was just wrong. He would have to set things straight with her immediately.

His mind ricocheted to Madge’s comment about Daniel and Lily seeing each other, and he wondered if her words held any truth. He knew Daniel had dropped by the schoolhouse the other day, and they had seemed friendly enough, but he couldn’t help wondering. Were they romantically involved?

He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like the thought of her kissing Daniel like she had just done with him moments before. She felt so soft in his arms and her lips on his… he needed to stop thinking about it, or he wouldn’t get any sleep when he returned home. The uncomfortable bulge behind the fly of his pants made him squirm in the saddle as the house came into view in the distance.

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76

Sandy Sullivan

The two women watched Seth mount and ride away before Madge

turned back toward Lily and apologized. “I’m sorry, Lily.”

“Don’t worry yourself, Madge. He only came over so we could discuss the children, nothing more. There isn’t anything between us except friendship.”

Madge had been startled to see Seth at Lily’s when she stopped by, but when she followed Lily into the dining room, she noticed the two place settings at the table.
Obviously there was more to this evening than Lily was
letting on.
Madge picked up a couple of the dishes herself to bring into the kitchen.

“Are you sure I didn’t interrupt something?” She placed the dishes in the sink and smiled when Lily blushed “After all, Seth is a very handsome man and a very eligible bachelor.”

Lily avoided looking at her and said, “Really, Madge, it was nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing to me when he put his hand on your shoulder.”

Lily shrugged. “We're friends, Madge. It was just a friendly gesture.”

“All right, if you say so. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to the man. He’s a fine specimen, if you ask me. I may be old, but I ain’t dead.” Madge smiled when the pretty blush returned to Lily's cheeks.

“Obviously not, Madge.” Lily returned her smile. “He is very handsome at that, but he’s very much still in love with his wife.”

“He’ll have to move on sooner or later. Nothing wrong with you helping him move on, you know.”

“I’m not sure he ever will. He is still harboring a lot of grief, guilt and anger right now.” Lily grabbed more dishes and returned to the kitchen again.

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Love’s Sweet Surrender

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“Very true, but it’s a start if he’s willing to spend time with you, even if it’s under the pretense of discussing his children.” Madge pulled the tablecloth from the table and began folding it.

“It’s not a pretense, Madge. His children need some guidance and to be able to grieve for their mother. I’m trying to convince him to help them with it. In order for him to allow them to grieve, he has to himself. He has so much anger and guilt from her death, I just don’t know if he’ll ever be able to move past it.” Madge followed behind as Lily slid the dirty dish into the water and began to scrub it clean. Lily quickly changed the subject. “How is Daniel doing?”

“He’s fine. He enjoys your afternoons together with his tutoring.”

“He’s a very smart man, but he needs to focus more.” Lily gave her a questioning look. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

“Has he always whispered? I mean, is there something wrong with his voice?”

Madge was shocked. She had never thought about it, but no, Daniel didn’t whisper. “Why no. Why would you say that?”

“He always seems to talk very softly when he’s around me, and I’m not sure why. I guess at some point I’ll ask him. I just thought maybe there was some medical reason for it, that’s all.”

“That’s rather odd. His voice tends to be a bit gravely, I guess, but nothing that would cause him to talk in a whisper. Maybe he’s attracted to you, Lily, and it’s his way of getting your attention.”

Lily’s gaze turned back toward her with shock bright in her eyes.
No,
Lily only has eyes for Seth.
That fact was obvious, even if it wasn’t to her friend.

“I doubt that, Madge.” Lily shook her head in denial. “Daniel doesn’t seem the type to be attracted to a simple teacher like me. He’s more for the adventurous type, I would think.”

“Maybe.” Madge added, “He always seems to be spending a lot of time with the local girls, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I’m afraid I do.”

She helped Lily finish up the dishes and put everything away.

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78

Sandy Sullivan

“Well, I guess I’ll say good-night, then.” Madge headed for the door.

“I’m really sorry I ruined your evening, Lily. Had I known you were entertaining, I wouldn’t have come over at all.”

* * * *

Lily tried to keep the conversation light, but Madge wanted to bring things back to why Seth was at her home. She really didn’t feel the need to discuss it with her friend, and truth be told, she didn’t want to examine her feelings at the moment. When Madge apologized again, she sighed.

“It’s quite all right, Madge. No harm done. I think the evening was winding down to an end anyway, so you didn’t really ruin anything.” Lily tried to hide the blush that had crept into her cheeks at the thought of Seth’s lips on hers.

“Yes, well, I hope you get to finish your conversation another time then.” Madge opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.

“I hope so too, Madge. I really hope so too,” Lily murmured, with a small, secretive smile.

“Good night, then. Maybe some other time you can come for supper.

I’m sure you have a lot to do for school tomorrow.”

“Actually, yes I do. Thanks for reminding me. I do have several papers to grade tonight. Good night.”

Lily moved back inside the house, closed the door and leaned against it.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips in a rush of air before she blew out the lamp on the side table.

Taking a deep breath, she carried her now weary body toward the back of the house while she contemplated what had happened between her and Seth this evening.

Even Arthur hadn't sent her heart racing in her chest at the touch of his lips, and most of the men she’d been exposed to were not that ruggedly handsome, hardworking type with calloused hands. They were not the "up at dawn and in bed by sundown" kind that seemed to envelop her in a warm cocoon of need that spread from the center of her being. The men back East had been very prim and proper, the "kissing your finger tips" type of men. If they took you to the opera or out to dinner, they would never think of kissing you until you were breathless, like Seth had kissed her tonight. They Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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would never have let their beards grow to a two-day growth before they shaved. Come to think of it, Arthur had never been anything but perfectly groomed. When Seth kissed her, the whiskers on his face had scraped the delicate skin on her chin. She hadn’t minded. In fact, she hadn’t minded the feel of his lips on hers one bit.

“This is ridiculous.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts and pulled out the tub before she put some water on to boil. “He’s obviously not ready for any kind of relationship with anyone, much less me. Why he kissed me, I don’t know, but it didn’t mean anything, nothing at all. He probably just felt bad, because, like a ninny, I was crying. That’s it. I’m sure of it.” She poured cool water in the tub in preparation for her bath while more water boiled on the stove.

She stripped off her gown and walked into the kitchen to pull the water from the stove, mentally chastising herself again for overreacting to Seth’s kiss. Retrieving the hot water, she poured some in the tub and let it cool for a moment while she stripped off the rest of her clothes. She slipped beneath the warm water with a satisfied sigh. Her head rested against the back of the tub, and she closed her eyes.
I really should have finished the children’s
papers before I got tired, but I can finish them while they are reading in the
morning.

The water started to cool when she finally pulled her tired body out and toweled herself dry. Her nightgown slipped down her body to settle at her feet. She stared at the tub with distaste, realizing she would have to haul the water out back and dump it before bed. She grabbed the bucket and dipped it into the tub, trying not to get water all over the floor, before she headed for the back door.

She hoped the town wasn’t busy tonight since her back door faced the saloon down the street. She really didn’t want anyone to see her out here in her nightgown.
I will have to get some bushes to plant around the back so I
can’t be seen, but that is going to have to wait.

When she had made her third trip with the bucket, she stopped as she realized there were several men watching her from the saloon's front doors.

Whistles and crude comments floated to her on the wind and made her blush before she hurried back into the house and locked the door behind her. She didn’t want any uninvited guests sneaking around her house tonight.

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Sandy Sullivan

“The rest of the water will have to wait until morning.” She placed the bucket on the floor and hurried to the front to check the lock.

She would have to be more careful. It would be too easy for any one of those men to pay a late night call, and without a man living with her; she would be ripe for the picking. She hadn’t realized how easy it would be if someone wanted in, so she decided she would have to do something to protect herself.

Contemplating what she could do, she decided she would buy a gun, but who could she get to teach her to use it?

Seth.
He was very handy with a gun, and if she told him why she wanted him to teach her, she was sure he would do so without a second thought.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll ask him tomorrow when he comes by school to pick up the children,” she said out loud with a satisfied smile.

Crawling under the clean sheets of her bed and tucking the thick blanket around her, she drifted into a sleep filled with dreams of a blue-eyed devil with lips as soft as rose petals drifting along her skin.

It was almost impossible for her to concentrate the next day while her thoughts kept drifting to Seth and his lips on hers. Her nerves seemed especially taut, and it seemed like every little thing had her blood boiling.

By the end of the day, she was relieved when the children began to depart for home.

She stood on the porch waiting for Seth to pick up the children, and when his wagon pulled around the corner, their gaze met across the expanse of the yard. Heat crawled up her neck and splashed over her cheeks at the heat reflected in his eyes.

After he stopped the wagon, he jumped down, walked around the front and tipped his hat. “Ma’am.”

So we are back to that again. Even after the kiss we shared last night,
he’s going to be distant now.

“Mr. Sanford,” Lily said her voice cold and distant.

His gaze swung around to meet hers, and her whole body tingled from the look in his eyes.
So he’s not as unmoved by me as he tries to pretend
.

“Can I speak with you, please?”

“Yes, of course. Out here or in private?”

“In private, if you please. I would like to ask you something personal.”

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Even though he raised his eyebrows at her request, he simply swept his arm in the direction of the stairs and said, “After you.”

She turned her back to him and proceeded up the stairs, only to feel the heat of his gaze on her back as she reached the cooler interior of the school.

When she turned around to face him again, she was surprised to see him right behind her. “Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were right behind me.”

Lily took a step back. She needed to put a little space between them if she was to focus on what she wanted to ask. When she looked into his eyes again, they had turned that smoky grey color she had come to recognize in his gaze.

* * * *

When her nose had almost pressed against his chest, he took a deep breath to still the raging desire that began to heat his veins to molten lava.

“What can I do for you?”

Her scent wrapped itself around him and made him want to press his lips to hers. The soft wisps of her hair brushing against her neck pulled his attention from her words to the desire to feel her skin under his mouth. The neckline of her gown lay soft against her bosom in almost a caress. His fingertips tingled with the need to touch her.
Focus man, focus!

“I need to ask you a favor. Will you to teach me to shoot? A pistol to be exact, I would think.”

Her words penetrated the fog surrounding his mind at the mere sight of her. “You want me to do what?”

“I want you to teach me how to shoot. I think I need to keep a firearm with me at the house for protection.”