Lovesessed (5 page)

When Liz saw me she raised her eyebrows
and said, “Hey, you look different.”

“
I was going for
fantastic, great, or stunning, not different,” I joked.

“
Sorry, you
do
look great. I’m just
not used to seeing you so … dressed up.”

I felt a bit overdressed compared to
her bootleg jeans and white button-up top. She always dressed
conservatively, so I hadn’t expected her to go all Rock Chick for
the concert. Her shoulder length dead straight brown hair was in
her usual tight bun, and she had her staple lip gloss
on.

“
Are you nervous?” she
asked.

“
Yes, I’ve never been more
nervous. I couldn’t even eat dinner because I have that sick
feeling in my stomach.”

“
It’ll pass as soon as the
concert starts.”

We arrived at the concert venue, and
there were thousands of girls waiting. “Oh great, about half of the
girls here are wearing green, so there goes my plan to stand
out.”

“
Look at that girl over
there with the word “CARSON” tattooed on her arm.” Liz pointed to a
girl who was probably 18. She several tattoos and piercings, and on
her arm was a Carson tattoo.

“
Some people are
fanatical. I hope it was a stick on.”

“
Doubt it, judging by her
obvious love of the tattoo parlor.”

“
What’s she going to do
when she’s 30 and she doesn’t like Carson anymore?”

“
She can always get
something inked over the ‘O’ and the ‘N’ and then it will say
‘CARS.’”

“
Good idea,” I
giggled.

Two of the girls in the row behind us
had sleeping bags with them. We asked them why they had them, and
they said that it was because they had camped out all night in
front of the venue to get last minute tickets. Maybe there really
were some girls out there with the same feelings about one of the
band members as me.

Everyone was talking and laughing
really loudly, so Liz and I had to shout at each other to be
heard.

“
This is so exciting,”
Lisa said rubbing my arm.

“
Yes, but I feel like I
might throw up.” My stomach was doing summersaults.

“
Well if you do, please
aim away from,” she said laughing. I didn’t know how she could
joke, when I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life. It
felt worse than any speech I’d ever given.

All I could see was a sea of Carson
banners and posters. “I should have made a banner, or brought one
of my posters.”

“
No, that’s a bit
desperate. You want to look cool, not fanatical.”

“
You’re right.”

The atmosphere was electric. We were
lucky because our tickets were for the fourth row from the front,
so we were very close to the stage. Again, Liz had the best
parents. The concert started. The lights dimmed and there were
deafening screams.

“
Here we go,” Liz
squealed. I hadn’t expected her to get so worked up, she was
usually so calm. I guess teen idols make even serious girls go
gaga.

I couldn’t remember a time when I had
ever been so excited, nervous, and happy at the same time. It felt
like a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

When the lights came back on, Carson
was ready on stage standing by their instruments. The first song
they played was “Say You’re Mine,” an up tempo pop/rock song. Chase
was right at the front of the stage playing his keyboard and
singing. He was so close that I could see his face clearly. He
looked even better in real life. He smiled a lot and his teeth
seemed to sparkle, like a cartoon character, but in a good way. He
looked absolutely gorgeous.

I couldn’t believe that he was really
there in front of me, and that it wasn’t a dream. It’s funny how
when dream or imagine how you will feel when you experience
something, it’s never the same when you actually do experience it.
I’d thought about how I would feel thousands of times, but I could
never predict the way I actually felt. When I saw him in the flesh,
it felt a million times better, more real, more exciting than how I
had imagined it. But it also didn’t feel real, because I couldn’t
believe that it was actually happening.

Liz screamed like the other girls, but
I was frozen, I actually couldn’t move for a few
seconds.

“
Are you ok? You look like
you’ve just seen a ghost,” she shouted.

I just nodded, because I couldn’t
speak. After the first song, the nervousness melted away and I
started to relax and enjoy the concert, especially because the
music sounded so good live. I knew every word to every song, and I
sang along like the rest of the girls. I’d listened to the songs so
much that my mom even knows all the words. I looked over when I saw
a girl faint, and others were crying. It seemed like I wasn’t the
only one who was in love with one of the band members.

After they had played all their hits,
Nick (the drummer, and Liz’s favorite) announced that they were
going to play their last song for the night. Then it
happened.

Chase started singing our song “Love
Struck,” the one that was in my dream. It was like déjà, because it
was just like in my dreams. Time seemed to stand still. Everything
happened in slow motion, and I felt like a love interest in one of
their music videos. The smoke from the smoke machine created a hazy
atmosphere.

Chase looked in my direction, and I
literally stopped breathing. He looked right in my eyes and smiled
at me. At least I thought that he smiled at me. I couldn’t be sure
because when he looked away, I looked around me and about five
other girls wearing green were blushing and giggling because they
also thought that he had smiled at them. Unlike in my dream, he
didn’t reach out to pull me up on stage and dedicate a song to me.
Real life sucks.

*****

5. Chemistry

I was in pain. It was the pain of
wanting someone so unattainable. If Chase was not famous, but was
just an ordinary guy at my school, sitting at the desk next to me
in English, or in the cafeteria, we would be together right now.
Well, at least we would have a chance. There was no-one more out of
a “real” person’s league, than a celebrity. Translation – there was
no-one more out of my league, than him.

I looked at my timetable as I arrived
at school Monday after the weekend of the concert, and saw that
Chemistry was after lunch. I groaned knowing that I hadn’t done my
homework. I couldn’t do it on Saturday because I was too nervous
about the concert, and then on Sunday I couldn’t stop thinking
about the concert so there was no way I could concentrate on
Chemistry. I was hoping that Liz would help me do the answers
quickly at lunch. She excelled at Chemistry, well at anything to do
with using your brain.

“
So, how did it feel to
see Nick in the flesh?” I asked Liz in the cafeteria at
lunch.

“
The concert was really
cool, but I’m over Nick because I saw him wink at about a dozen
girls in the audience.”

“
So you admit that you do
have a crush on him,” I said wickedly.

“
I did,” she
corrected.

“
Maybe he had to do that,
you know, to keep his fans happy. You know how drummers are,” I
said.

“
Not really.”

“
They’re the bad boys of
the band.”

“
Thought that was the lead
singer,” she laughed.

I nudged her with my elbow. “In a way,
I wish that I could be so fickle and just abandon Chase. But my
feelings are too deep. You don’t just get over your first love with
a snap of your fingers.”

“
Hey, I’m not fickle. I
wasn’t in love with Nick or anything. I just thought that he was
kind of cute.”

“
I’ve felt sad all day
about what happened, or should I say, what didn’t happen,” I said
miserably.

“
What happened?” Ben
asked, genuinely concerned.

“
The concert was
unbelievable, and I’m really grateful that I got to go, but I’m
disappointed that it didn’t live up to my dreams. I really believed
that if Chase had just seen me, then he would have done something
to make sure that we at least got to talk. I thought that the only
reason we weren’t already dating was because we hadn’t made contact
yet. Maybe he didn’t actually see me at the concert. There were a
lot of other girls wearing green, so I probably blended in, like I
was camouflaged. My plan was to stand out so that he would notice
me, but instead I faded into the background like an iguana on a
leaf. I was like a soldier in combat gear, hidden among the trees.
I wish that I could have shot him with a bullet of
love.”

They raised their eyebrows at each
other.

“
Ok, that was corny. I
think I’ll burn that green top.”

Liz squeezed my hand.

“
Well if that loser pretty
boy didn’t notice you, then he must be blind,” Ben said.

“
You’re sweet for trying
to cheer me up, but I still think that it was because I was
camouflaged.”

They laughed, and it was
infectious.

“
Liz, speaking of
camouflage, something did cheer me up today. It was the most
entertaining Biology lesson ever.”

Ben nudged me and looked
excited.

“
I always miss the fun,
everyone in my class in so serious,” she complained.

“
Well, you wanted to be in
the brainiac Biology class.” I teased.

She pulled a tongue at me.

“
We had to dissect frogs,
and I really didn’t think that I could do it because they were
still alive! Miss Duffy said that they wouldn’t feel anything, but
it was like something out of a horror movie! Even if they had been
dead, I don’t think that I could have psychically made myself do
it. I freak out if I even get a paper cut. I’m also a big animal
rights activist.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, activist is maybe too
strong a word, let’s say supporter. The point is I love animals,
even frogs. Ben, my brave and loyal lab partner, said that he would
do all the cutting, so I felt a tad better. Get it – tad pole.” Liz
and Ben both rolled their eyes simultaneously. “So here’s the good
part,” I said, really getting into my story.

Ben interrupted. “Let me tell her the
rest, don’t hog the great story. Also, when you get excited you
speak too fast, it’s like listening to a horse racing announcer,”
he said playfully pulling a tongue at me. I pushed him. He
continued the story. “I was just about to cut into the poor little
frog, when Nathan grabbed his frog and let it hop out the window.
He then started opening all the windows and doors and shouted for
us to stop what we were doing and ‘let the frogs hop free.’ He
actually said that. So everyone put their scalpels down and let
their frogs escape out the windows.”

“
Ok, my turn,” I said
putting my hand over Ben’s mouth, and launching into my share of
the story. “It was just like that scene in the Steven Spielberg
movie
E.T
, when
E.T makes Elliot release all the frogs. I felt much better after we
saved two dozen frogs. But we all got detention after school, and
Nathan got detention for the whole week, but he said that it was
worth it. PETA would love that kid. He always seemed a little odd.
In the fourth grade he always stuck pencils in his ears.” We all
burst out laughing.

“
Can you take your hand
off my mouth now?” Ben’s voice was muffled.

“
Excuse me, what was
that?” I joked, and removed my hand that was sweaty from his warm
breath.

“
It was a really cool
thing that Nathan did for the frogs.”

“
Ooh, does someone have a
crush?” I teased. “Liz and Nathan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
first comes love…”

“
Phoebe you had better
stop, before I stick pencils in
your
ears.”

“
Liz, pretty please with a
cherry on top of an ice-cream sundae, will you help me with the
Chemistry homework that I was too upset to do after the
concert.”

“
But you won’t learn
anything if you don’t do your own homework, and I won’t be able to
help you in the exam,” she said gently yet firmly.

I knew that she was right, but I didn’t
want another detention. I gave her my most innocent look, “Ok, this
is the last time. I know that I should have planned my time better,
but I had more important things on my mind. Anyway, Chemistry is
pointless. I mean, who cares about mixing a bunch of colored
liquids together?”

“
You
should actually,” Liz said. I gave her a skeptical
look.

She looked around to make sure that
no-one could hear us. Ben had already left because he had another
Theatre Crew meeting. “I was in the library at school researching
for my Chemistry project, when I came across a book about love
potions.” I leaned in closer, and held my breath. “I can mix a love
potion in the Chemistry lab to make someone fall in love with you.”
She whispered in my ear, “By someone, I mean Chase.”