Lovesessed (4 page)

“
Yeah, do you want to grab
a milkshake?”

“
What are we waiting for?
Let’s go!” He shouted energetically, and grabbed my hand as he took
off running.

We went to a restaurant down the road
from school. Ben led me to a booth by the window.

“
So how was your birthday,
Ben?” I asked softly, remembering that I had forgotten
it.

“
It was good, except that
it was on a school day.”

“
I wanted to tell you
again that I’m so sorry for forgetting. I don’t know what’s wrong
with me lately.”

“
Don’t worry about it
Phoebes,” he said sincerely.

“
I got you a belated
birthday present. I didn’t see you today because you were
rehearsing your play during lunch, and we didn’t get to talk during
class, so I was going to give it to you on Monday.”

His eyes lit up. “You didn’t have to do
that.”

“
I wanted to.” I opened my
bag, and gave him the little gold gift bag.

He slowly took out the miniature Oscar
statue that I had bought at a souvenir store. It was made of
plastic, but looked like a real gold-plated Academy Award. I had it
personalized with the words “Best Actor,” and his full name,
“Benjamin Walker.”

“
You’ll have to replace it
with a real Oscar one day. I’m sure you will be fabulous in your
play. I wish that I could be there.” It was true, I wanted to be
there so badly, but I had been dreaming about seeing Chase in
person for years, so nothing was going to keep me away from the
concert.

He was quiet for a few seconds while he
looked at it, and ran his fingers over it. Then, his eyes met mine,
and he smiled the sweetest smile that I have ever seen. It made my
heart smile.

“
Thank you, it means so
much to me.”

“
You’re welcome Benji.” I
smiled back. We just sat there grinning at each other like idiots,
until a waitress came over to our table. Ben ordered a lime
milkshake for himself, and a strawberry one for me.

“
You remembered,” I said,
touched by his thoughtfulness.

“
Of course, I remember
everything about you.” He suddenly looked serious. “You’re very
important to me.” He held my hand on the table. The interaction
between us suddenly felt different than ever before.

His intense gaze made me feel like
butterflies were fluttering in my stomach, so I looked out the
window, and detached my hand and patted his. “That’s just because
you’ve known me since birth,” I joked.

“
We do know each other
really well.”

“
We’re pretty much family,
like brother and sister.”

“
That’s not what I meant.
Phoebe, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but
I didn’t know how you would react…” he stopped when the waitress
approached our table. We drank our milkshakes in silence for about
a minute.

There was an unusual tension between
us, but I didn’t know why.

“
This is delicious, and
look there’s even a strawberry.” I picked up the strawberry that
was stuck to the top of the glass, and ate it.

“
Phoebe, can I ask you a
question?” he looked serious again.

“
You can ask me
anything.”

He stirred the remaining milk shake
around with his straw. “I’m just going to come out with it…Why are
you so hung up on this Chase guy?”

I stopped drinking. I wasn’t expecting
him to ask me a question like that. “I wouldn’t use those words,
but you know how I feel about Chase,” I said
defensively.

“
But why?” he suddenly
seemed annoyed. “You don’t even know the guy, and there is zero
chance of anything happening between you two.”

I could feel my ears burning, and I
knew that they were turning red. The blood always rushed to my ears
when I was nervous…or livid. “Benjamin Walker, you have no right to
say any of this to me.” I stood up.

“
I’m sorry, please don’t
go.” His eyes were vulnerable.

“
It’s getting late, I
should be going anyway.” I said picking up my book bag and getting
to my feet.

He stood up quickly and came around to
me. He enveloped me in his arms and hugged me tightly. He seemed
much bigger and stronger than I had ever remembered. I breathed in
his cinnamon and mint cologne. He definitely didn’t fall into the
category of the other unwashed guys at our school. A chill ran up
my spine because I wasn’t used to being so close to him. We hugged
often, but it was always a friendly, casual hug. This time it felt
different.

“
I’m sorry,” he whispered,
and his breath was warm against my neck. “I think that you deserve
better.”

I peeled myself away from him. “I know
that you’re just looking out for me. But Chase is my first love,
and this Saturday is my chance to make my dreams come
true.”

I walked towards the door, and when I
paused to wave goodbye, he was looking at me like I had slapped
him.

*****

4. Concert

The day that I had been
waiting, wishing, and hoping for had finally arrived. I had been a
nervous wreck the whole day. I couldn’t even sit still to watch my
favorite show,
American
Idol
. I knew that I was going to see a
real
American Idol
that night. After
Idol
, I switched to MTV like usual,
and Carson’s video “Summer of Love” was on. I quickly changed the
channel because seeing Chase made me even more nervous.

What happened with Ben the day before
was still bothering me. I didn’t know what to think about it. He
had been acting different lately, especially at the restaurant. I
concluded that he just didn’t want to lose our friendship. But, he
was my best friend, and always would be. I wished that the concert
and his play weren’t on the same night, because I would have loved
to have seen him act. Ben was more the artistic type, than the
sporty type. I obviously gravitated more to arty guys. My best
friend and the guy that I was in love with were both artistic,
except that Ben was an actor and Chase was a singer.

As I was getting ready for the concert,
I had a sick feeling in my stomach, and I couldn’t stop shaking. I
felt like I was the one about to perform at the concert. It was the
same nervous feeling I got when I had to give a speech in
class.

A few months ago in History, I had to
give a speech on World War II, and I got so nervous. When I was
standing in front of the class, it seemed like the walls were
closing in on me, I couldn’t catch my breath, and I felt dizzy like
my head was about to fall off my shoulders. The next thing I knew,
I was lying on the floor. Poor Ben, his was the first face I saw.
He helped me sit up, and got me some water. For the rest of the
day, he kept quizzing me about how I felt.

I silently prayed that I wouldn’t faint
when I saw Chase. That would be unbelievably embarrassing,
humiliating, and mortifying. In addition, it would totally ruin my
plan. Unless, he jumped off the stage and gave me mouth to mouth
resuscitation … hmm that could work.

For the concert, I chose the jeans and
green tank top outfit because green is Chase’s favorite color. That
would guarantee that I stood out in the crowd, and thus become one
of those fans who met her husband at his concert.

It was a little chilly, but I knew that
it would definitely be hot and sweaty in the concert because of all
the people in a closed space.

I brushed my light brown hair and it
fell just below my shoulders. My hair was blonde when I was
younger, but it went darker until it was light brown. I had added a
few blonde highlights the last time I went to the hairdresser. They
looked natural, like I’d been to the beach a lot and the sun had
highlighted my hair. Highlights are important if you live in
California. Everywhere you look there are blonde, beautiful girls.
I straightened my wavy hair with my hot iron. My mom always said
that I should leave it wavy, but I liked to straighten it, because
then it looked longer.

I put on a lot more make up than I
usually wore. When I got ready for school in the mornings, I just
put on mascara, a bit of blusher and lip gloss. But I went all out
for the concert – smoky eyes, and a pinky/red lipstick. It took me
ages to get the liquid eyeliner straight. After the first attempt,
I looked like a raccoon so I had to wash my wash my
face.

My older 16-year-old sister, Rachel
always gave me her beauty magazines after she was done with them,
so that’s where I got my make-up and fashion tips from. I liked how
the smoky make-up enhanced my dark green eyes, just like the
magazine said it would. I borrowed Rachel’s hoop earrings to
complete the outfit.

Our mom named us after the
characters in her favorite sitcom of all time,
Friends
. It started in 1994, the
year Rachel was born. My dad even bought her the box set with all
10 seasons. I loved watching the program
Charmed
because one of the
characters was named Phoebe.

“
Looking good,” Rachel
said when she popped her head through my half open door. “I like
your hair, it looks really pretty,” she said running her fingers
through my hair.

“
Thanks, but I wish that I
had your long silky hair,” I said, admiring her long blonde hair
that looked like honey pouring down her back. “It’s so straight and
soft, unlike my wavy hair that requires daily hot
ironing.”

“
Do you remember when you
were eight, you begged Mom to buy you a long blonde wig?” she said,
smiling at the memory.

“
Yes, because I
desperately wanted hair like yours. I think that she felt bad for
me because she actually bought it, and I wore it for about two
weeks straight. Eventually, she took it away because I refused to
take it off and wash my hair.”

“
It really did stink, and
it was full of dust and lint. I think that you had a family of ants
living in it. It was a health hazard.”

We both laughed and couldn’t stop, like
when something that isn’t really that funny seems
hilarious.

“
My stomach hurts,” I
said.

“
My eyes are watering,”
she said, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

“
Rach, it’s ironic about
our names. I look more like the character Rachel from
Friends
because we both
have medium length light brown hair, and we’re average height.
While you look more like the character Phoebe, because you both
have long blonde hair and you’re tall and slim.”

“
It is funny how that
happened,” she said looking through my jewelry box.

I’d always been jealous of Rachel
because she was so gorgeous, and looked amazing in everything she
wore. She could seriously wear a potato sack and look like a model.
She was also really sweet, as well as beautiful. If she wasn’t my
sister, I’d hate her.

“
Rach, do you think I
could ever be popular like you?”

She squeezed my hand. “You have great
friends, and you are a great person. It doesn’t matter what people
at school think.”

“
That’s easy for you to
say. You’re gorgeous and popular. People at school didn’t even know
that we were sisters until they saw that we had the same last name.
They even asked if we had different fathers. How rude,” I pouted,
folding my arms across my chest.

“
Lots of sisters look
different. We just got different genes.”

“
You got the good genes,”
I moaned. “But they do have a point, I’ve always wondered if I was
adopted because I’m so different to every member of the
family.”

“
Phoebes, there’s
something that I have to tell you. Now that you have already
figured it out…” she said apprehensively.

“
What is it?” I caught my
breath.

“
You
were
adopted.” Her face was deadly
serious.

I gasped and clapped my hand to my
mouth.

She burst out laughing. “You’re so
gullible.”

I pushed her, and she fell off the bed.
We both collapsed in fits of giggles.

If I had a famous boyfriend, then I
would also be popular like Rachel. Everyone at school would want to
be friends with me. I had Liz and Ben, but we’re like middle of the
road, not popular, not unpopular. At least Liz was really smart. I
just had my winning personality.

#

The wait for Liz’s parents to pick me
up was torture. I didn’t know what to do with myself. When I’m
nervous, it’s like I have ants in my pants because I can’t sit
still. I paced around my room for a while, and even organized my
underwear drawer by color, just to keep busy. I felt like Chase was
watching me from all of my pictures on the wall, like he knew that
we had a date with destiny.

I put on a denim jacket for the drive
there. I had planned to leave it in Liz’s parent’s car because I
didn’t want to hide my green top, and I was sure to get boiling hot
inside the venue.