LOVING ELLIE (24 page)

“I wasn’t referring to that,” he said, surprising her.  “I was referring to your coming to Lucas’s defense.  I admire you for having the courage to try and set things right.” 

That so-called courage had not only been unnecessary, it had cost her Lucas.  Moisture pooled in her eyes.  “Lucas resents me for prying into his life.”

“You care a great deal for that young man.”

Ellie closed her eyes and nodded. 

He placed a comforting hand on hers.  “I had already guessed as much.  While I have no doubt revisiting the past was hard on Lucas, I’m sure he knows your heart was in the right place.”

Would the reverend think that her heart was so wonderful when he learned she was giving her child up for adoption?  “How I feel doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“But it is.”  Discussing her life with someone other than Lucas was not something she did easily.  And now she couldn’t even bring herself to confide in Lucas.

“I’m a good listener.”

“But it’s so complicated,” she groaned.  “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

Another customer arrived, saving her from having to discuss her situation any further with the reverend.  She motioned that she would be right over and then turned back to the reverend.

“I’ll bring your order right out,” she said, getting to her feet.

“Before you go,” he said, his voice low, keeping their conversation private, “I want you to remember one thing.  Fear can make things seem more complicated than they really are.  That’s when you need to listen to your heart and trust it to guide you in the right direction.”

Her heart wasn’t the problem.  It was Lucas’s heart she wasn’t sure she could trust in anymore.

                                                        *              *              *

Lucas looked up as the barn door creaked open.  He straightened, lowering the pitchfork he’d been using to the floor.

“Blaine,” he greeted.

“I figured since you seem to have forgotten how to answer your phone, or check your answering machine, I would hunt you down in person.”

He’d spilled his guts to Blaine the day after things blew up with Ellie, but he refused to go there again.  He was feeling too raw.  “I’ve been busy.”    

“Busy fighting with Ellie?” his friend said as he pulled the barn door shut behind him.

Ignoring that last comment, Lucas turned away and went back to work spreading straw out across the stall floor.  He didn’t want to think about Ellie.  Didn’t want to want her.

Blaine stepped up to the stall and rested his folded arms on the rail, hiking a boot up on the bottom one.  “You look like you’ve been dragged backwards through a dry riverbed.”

“Yeah, well you’re not so pretty yourself.”

“At least you still have your sense of humor.  Since you haven’t been into town the past several days, I thought I’d fill you in.  Dusty has turned over a new leaf and Ellie is about as heartbroken as a person can get.  That woman loves you.”

Lucas shoved the gate open and stepped out of the stall, closing it behind him.  “If she loved me, she wouldn’t be shutting me out right now.”

Blaine arched a brow.  “Wouldn’t she?”

Lucas sent him a dark scowl.

“Knowing Ellie the way I do, I would think that the person she cared about most in the world would be the one she’d shut out the quickest.  Especially after you drove off the way you did that day.”

Blaine’s words hit home.  If Ellie didn’t care, she wouldn’t be trying so hard to shut him out.  Maybe it was time to give truth to his promise that he could out-stubborn her any day.  Somehow he would get Ellie to trust him again.   

                                                        *              *              *

There were no cars at Mrs. Mulrooney’s when Ellie pulled into the drive.  Apparently her company hadn’t arrived yet.  She reached over for the bakery box on the passenger seat and winced as a sharp pain moved across her lower back.  More false labor pains.  No doubt brought on by the recent stress in her life.    

The garage door opened and Mrs. Mulrooney stepped out, motioning for her to pull inside.

She lowered her window.  “I can’t stay.  I’m just dropping your order off.”

The older woman’s smile sagged.  “Oh, dear.”

“What?”

“I was hoping you might be able to help me set up my card table and lay the food out, make it look special.  You did such a nice job at the town picnic last summer.”

She wasn’t really up to it, but how could she say no to the woman who helped raise the father of her baby?  Besides, putting food out on a table wasn’t anything too taxing and it might even help take her mind off of Lucas.

“I suppose I could give you a quick hand before I go.”

Mrs. Mulrooney’s face lit up.  “Wonderful!  Now into the garage with you.  I’m not going to be responsible for your getting into a cold car afterwards and catching a chill.  Especially while you’re carrying that little one.”

Ellie was too tired to argue.  She pulled into the garage and shut off her car as the door lowered behind her.

“I really appreciate your doing this for me,” the older woman said as she led her out the side door and up onto the porch.  “I haven’t entertained for years and I’m afraid I’m a bit rusty.”

She’d never seen Mrs. Mulrooney so excited.  Except for that day Lucas had stopped by to let her know he was back in town.  “I’m glad to help.”

She followed Mrs. Mulrooney into the house and back to the family room.  She was surprised to find candles lit around the room and a bottle of what appeared to be wine chilling in a small, ice filled bucket on the coffee table.  Mrs. Mulrooney’s expected company was a man?

Mrs. Mulrooney pointed to a card table set up next to the window.  A beige lace tablecloth had been draped over it, but other than that it was bare.  “My good china is stored in that cupboard by the fireplace.  Would you mind grabbing a couple of plates and two wine glasses?”

Bringing out the good china.  This man had to be very special.  Smiling, Ellie walked over and pulled out two rose-patterned dishes.  Then she grabbed two long-stemmed wine glasses, carrying the delicate pieces back to the table.

“Arrange it however you like,” Mrs. Mulrooney said, looking quite pleased.  “Oh, and there’s a vase of wildflowers on the windowsill you might want to use.”

Ellie nodded.  “That would be a nice touch.  What about silverware?”

“No need for that, honey.  We’re just having finger foods.”  She glanced at her watch.  “Oh, dear, I need to go check on the...uh, ham.” 

Ham?
  She was using good china, yet serving ham as a finger food?  Ellie shook her head.  Poor woman was a nervous wreck.  “Go see to your ham.  I’ll take care of things here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go, I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will, dear,” the older woman said with a smile as she hurried toward the door. 

                                                        *              *              *

Lucas glanced at the clock on his dash as he drove out to Mrs. Mulrooney’s to pick up the pictures she had found while going through some old albums.  He needed to hurry.  Ellie would be home soon and he had every intention of talking things out with her.

A few minutes later, he turned off the winding back road and onto the very drive he’d ridden bikes up and down countless times as a boy.  Back when life was fun and uncomplicated. 

He pulled up to the house and cut the engine.  His gaze dropped down to the box on the seat beside him, inside which was a large, heart-shaped, chocolate chip cookie that he’d had the words I LOVE YOU written on it in bright red icing.  He might not be playing fair, but he was going to use Ellie’s love of chocolate chip cookies to help win his way back into her heart. 

Smiling, he slid from the cab of his truck and started for the house.

Mrs. Mulrooney scurried out to greet him.  “You came!”

“I said I would.”

She embraced him in the same motherly hug she used to give him as a boy.  “Come on in.  I have your pictures in the family room where I was going through the old albums.”

He followed her back to the room he and Jarrett used to play checkers and watch TV in for hours on end. 

“Go on in,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  “I’ll go grab us some iced tea.”

He wondered if she were all right.  She seemed to be acting strangely, almost nervous.  He let himself into the semi-darkened room, his gaze shifting to the candlelight flickering off the walls.  The door closed behind him, followed by a shuffling, then screeching sound on the hall floor outside.

He swung around.  “What the...” 

A soft feminine gasp filled the room behind him.  “Lucas?”

He turned, his eyes slowly becoming accustomed to the dimly lit room.  “Ellie?  What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she said moving toward him.

She looked beautiful in the candlelight.  His gaze slid down her soft womanly curves to her rounded stomach.

“Lucas?” 

His gaze snapped back up to meet hers.  “Mrs. Mulrooney invited me here.”

“You’re her date?”

“I’m her what?”

“The man she wanted all of this set up for,” she explained, motioning toward the table behind her.

“That’s not for me.  I’m only here to pick up some pictures she found of Jarrett and me that were taken when we were boys.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t see your car outside.”

“It’s in the garage.  Mrs. Mulrooney insisted.  She didn’t want me getting back into a cold car.”

“Why are you here?”

“Mrs. Pearson called to tell me Mrs. Mulrooney needed me to swing by and drop off some croissants and muffins after I closed up.  She’s expecting company tonight.  I was helping her set up for it.”

“She’s going to serve her company croissants and muffins at this time of night?”

“With ham.  Oh, and wine, too,” she said, pointing to the ice bucket on the long, narrow folding table.

Something didn’t seem quite right.  Lucas walked over to the ice bucket and pulled out the bottle.  “Sparkling fruit juice.”

“Maybe she doesn’t drink.”

He walked over and tried to open the door.  The knob turned but the door wouldn’t budge.  He pushed harder.  “And maybe,” he said, turning back to her, “we’ve been set up.”

“What?”

“She’s barricaded the door so we can’t get out.”

“Mrs. Mulrooney?”  Ellie laughed.  “How would she manage that?  Maybe you’re just turning the knob the wrong way.” 

He arched a brow.  “I think I know how to open a door.  Something tells me she had help.  Let’s try the window.”

“Don’t you dare try and take that girl out the window in her condition!”  This time it was Mrs. Pearson’s voice that rang out from the other side of the door.

“You two need to work things out,” Mrs. Mulrooney chimed in.  “And you can’t do that if you two keep on avoiding each other.”

He ached to pull Ellie into his arms, to kiss her and tell her how sorry he was, but this wasn’t the time or place.  He wanted a little privacy when he expressed his feelings for her.  Having a pair of eavesdropping busybodies standing outside the door pretty much guaranteed no chance of that happening.

Despite the older woman’s warning, he walked over to the window and pushed the curtain aside, only to discover that it had been painted shut years before.  But something outside caught his eye.  Both Blaine and Dusty’s vehicles were parked along the side of the house.  That explained how whatever was in front of the door got put there.

“You two might as well get comfortable,” Mrs. Mulrooney informed them in a no-nonsense tone.  “We’re heading into town for a spell.” 

Retreating footsteps echoed in the hallway outside.  And with that, they were alone.  Only the cookie was in his truck and all the flowery words he’d planned to say to Ellie when he got back to the ranch were suddenly a jumbled mess in his head. So much for romancing Ellie back into his life. 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“I can’t believe they did that,” Lucas muttered as he and Ellie returned to their own place.

“Me either,” she said with a long, drawn out groan.  “I’m so glad to be out of there.”

Just when he had begun to believe that the hour they’d been forced to spend together at Mrs. Mulrooney’s was a good thing, Ellie had to go and make it sound like being shut away with him had been pure torture.  

“I know I was the last person you would have wanted to be forced to spend time with...” he began with a frown as he closed the front door behind them and flipped on the hall light.

She groaned again.  “You couldn’t be more wrong.” 

“Ellie?” he said, noting her pale face.

“It’s nothing.  I’ve been having them all day.”

His eyes widened.  “Them?”

“False labor pains,” she said calmly, but her expression was anything but as she pressed a hand to her back.  “A lot of women have them at this point in their pregnancy.”

He didn’t like seeing her in pain – false labor or not.  He cupped her face and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.  “I wish I could suffer those pains for you.”  He held out the box he’d carried in from his truck.  “This is for you.  I would have given it to you sooner, but some meddling do-gooders put a hitch in my plans.”

She opened it, tears immediately filling her eyes. 

“If I remember right, chocolate chip cookies are your very favorite.”

“They are.  Oh, Lucas...” she said with a tiny sob.

He took the box from her and set it on the hall table and then turned back to Ellie.  Cupping a hand under her chin, he raised her face to his. “I hope those are happy tears. 

She turned away, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Ellie, what’s wrong?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Something we didn’t cover at Mrs. Mulrooney’s?”

She nodded, saying softly, “I chose a couple.”

Her words struck him like a blow.  “You what?”

“I couldn’t wait any longer and with you and I not speaking-”

“
You
weren’t speaking to me,” he corrected with a frown.

She turned to face him.  “I have an appointment with Greg to sign the papers on Monday.”

He turned away with a muttered curse. 

“Lucas, you-” her words gave way to a louder gasp.  “Oh, no!”

He spun about to face her.  She was bent over, clutching at her stomach.  Then his gaze dropped lower to the water spreading out across the floor at her feet.  Oh, no was right!

She looked up at him.  “M...my water just broke.”

Panic slid through him.  “But the baby’s not due for two weeks yet.”

“Tell that to my son.”

He ran a trembling hand back through his hair, glanced down at the growing puddle and felt the color drain from his cheeks.

“Lucas?  Please tell me you’re not going to pass out on me.  I’m a really awful multi-tasker.  Giving birth and bringing you back to consciousness is way too much for me to handle at this particular moment.

“I’m fine.”

“Good, because I can’t deliver this baby on my own.”

His head snapped up.  “The baby!  We have to get you to the hospital.”

“There’s not time.”

“What do you mean there’s not time?  Labor with first babies can take hours.”

“The pains began this morning.”

“The ones you thought were false?”

She nodded then winced.

“Oh, Lord.”

“Lucas, I need to lie down before I have this baby right here beside the coat rack.”

Scooping her up, he carried her back to her bedroom and lowered her onto the bed.  “I’ll go call Blaine.  He can make all the necessary calls for us, ambulance included.  Will you be all right here alone for a couple of minutes?”

She nodded, but when he’d gone she felt that old fear rise up in her.  What if he didn’t come back?  She was so afraid of being alone.  But after what she’d told him before her water broke she couldn’t blame him if he walked away. 

But Lucas did return, more collected.  “Blaine and Victoria are on their way, as is the ambulance.  Just don’t do any pushing and you’ll be in that delivery room in no time.”

Ellie didn’t have the heart to tell him that this baby wasn’t going to wait.  The pressure between her thighs was increasing with each passing minute and the pains were getting worse.

“Lucas...” she gasped between panted breaths.

“Yeah?

“Remember when you were little and dreamed of becoming a doctor?”

He nodded.

“I think you’re going to get that chance.”

“What are you saying?  I’m not...  I mean I can’t...”

She cried out as another contraction stabbed at her back and sliced through her abdomen all at once.  “You’ve helped birth foals before, haven’t you?”

“You’re having a baby, not a horse.”

“Well, it feels like a horse and I want it out!” she exclaimed with a grimace.  This was not how it was supposed to happen.  Where was the sterile hospital room and endless glasses of ice chips?  More importantly, where was her epidural!

Lucas returned to pacing.  “I swear I’m going to make each and every one of those scheming do-gooders change this baby’s dirty diapers for as long as he wears them.”

She didn’t have the heart to remind him that the baby wouldn’t be with them long enough to see that threat through. 

Less than ten minutes later, Lucas was sitting at the edge of Ellie’s bed, holding her newborn son in his arms.  Jarrett’s son - from the sprout of hair on the newborn’s tiny head to his ten little toes.

Emotion washed over him.  His brother should have been there for the birth of his son.  Should have been the one holding him in his arms.   

“He’s beautiful,” Lucas managed past the knot of emotion caught up in his throat as he stared in amazement at the tiny babe he’d helped deliver.

“Yes,” Ellie said softly.  “He is.”

He handed bent to hand the precious bundle to her, but she put up a hand in refusal. 

“I can’t,” she said, tears in her eyes.

He knew what she was doing, trying to detach herself from her son.  Fighting any emotional connection she might feel if she held him in her arms.

“Even now,” he said, forcing the words out, “after all you’ve gone through to bring your son into this world, you’re still going through with the adoption?”

Say no
, his heart pleaded.  Now that he’d held his nephew, he didn’t think he could bear to give him up.

Her silence was all the answer he needed.

“Then give him to me,” he demanded, his voice catching.

“Lucas,” she sighed tiredly, “we’ve been through this before.”

“Then I’ll be leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Going back to Brazil.”

“But I thought you were home to stay,” she said, exhaustion clear in her voice.

“Ellie,
you
were my home.”  He looked down at the sleeping infant.  “But I can’t stick around and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life.”

“Lucas?” Blaine called out from the front of the house.

“Back here,” he replied stiffly, jaw clenching.

A second later, Blaine and Victoria, accompanied by the local EMTs rushed into the room.

Lucas handed the baby over to one of the ambulance crew and then turned back to Ellie.  “I hope you’ll be happy.”  That said he walked out of the room, away from what could have been.

                                                        *              *              *

How had she ever thought she could do it?  Ellie stood staring at the baby cooing happily in the car seat.  Her son.  Her world. 

Tears filled her eyes.  It seemed she cried more now than she did when she was pregnant.  Most of those tears had been shed over Lucas.  True to his word, he’d been gone when she came home from the hospital.  And the loss weighed heavily on her heart.   

Her fear had already cost her Lucas and had nearly cost her a future with her son, but the reverend’s words came back to her in the hospital. 
Listen to your heart.
  And her heart wouldn’t allow her to give her son up.  Lucas had been right.  She was nothing like her family who were incapable of loving.  In fact, she loved her son so much it hurt.  Loved Lucas so much it hurt.  She would be the mother hers never had been.  There was no longer any doubt in her mind as to that. 

Her only regret was not realizing all this sooner.  Before Lucas did what she had forced him to do – walk out of her life.

The baby cooed softly, bringing a wistful smile to Ellie’s lips.

As soon as she told Greg that she wasn’t going through with the adoption, that her son already had two parents who loved him, she would go find the only man who deserved to be her son’s father.  Even if she had to go halfway across the world to do so.  Somehow, some way, she would bring her cowboy home.

                                                        *              *              *

“Am I too late?”

Ellie twisted about in the chair with a gasp.  “Lucas!”

He stepped into the office and nodded to Greg.  “Have the final papers been signed?”

Greg shook his head. 

Ellie stood and turned to him.  “You came back.”

“I’ll always come back to you.  I love you,” he said, determined to see this through.  His gaze shifted to the baby asleep in the carrier on the floor next to Ellie and that determination faltered.  He loved that boy.

“I love you, too,” she said softly.

He looked up, seeing the tears in her eyes.  “I want to be with you for this.”

“But you said-”

He reached out to press a finger to her lips, silencing her protests.  “Part of loving someone is supporting them through the good and the bad.”  And, Lord knew this was the bad part.  Some things were just too deep rooted to fight.  Ellie’s fear of being a mother one of them.

Greg stood.  “Why don’t I give you two a few moments alone to talk?”

“It won’t change anything I have to say,” Lucas replied, his gaze never leaving hers.  Even as he knelt on the floor in front of her.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she looked down at him.  “What are you doing?”

He pulled a tiny black box from his coat pocket and lifted the lid, revealing the solitaire she had stopped wearing at the end of her pregnancy.  His family heirloom.  “I’m hoping the third time will be the charm for me.”

“Lucas,” she gasped.

He reached for her hand.  “Ellie Sanders, will you marry me and give this cowboy a place to really call home?  I promise to support you today and for the rest of your life, to make up for all the love you were denied growing up, and to be the husband you deserve.”

“What about father?” she asked with a sniffle.

He’d been prepared for a ‘no way, no how’, or, if he was lucky, maybe even an ‘I’ll think about it’, but that question took him completely off guard.  “Excuse me?”

“How would you feel about raising a son?”

His heart thudded against his chest.  “What are you saying?”

She smiled lovingly.  “Greg, would you mind telling Lucas what we were in the middle of doing when he arrived?”

The lawyer nodded with a grin.  “My pleasure.  We were preparing a letter for the adoptive parents, letting them know that Ellie has decided to keep her son.”

Lucas shot to his feet, her hand still gripped in his own. “You’re keeping the baby?”

“
Our
baby,” she corrected.  “If you’ll have us.  We’re a package deal.”

If he would have them? 
He pulled her to him, cupping her face between his hands.  “Greg, you’re my witness.  While she worded her reply in pure roundabout ‘Ellie’ fashion, it was still a yes.  Because I’m more than willing to take on the whole package.”

“Now should I leave the room?” his friend asked with a chuckle.

“Might be a good idea,” Lucas said as he lowered his mouth to hers in a kiss that promised forever.

*              *              *

“Congratulations,” Victoria said with a smile as she leaned in to give Ellie a warm hug.

Blaine followed suit, bringing up the end of the receiving line.  After hugging Ellie, he turned to Lucas, giving his friend a congratulatory slap on the back.  “I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”

“The three of us,” Lucas promptly corrected out, much to Ellie’s joy.

Her gaze dropped down to the infant sleeping lazily in her arms.  Just as the tiny little bundle had done through the entire ceremony.  Joshua Jarrett Tanner.  Their pride and joy.  A tiny, wonderful miracle who had changed so many lives.