Loving Her (14 page)

After a brief pause, Ty told her the truth.

I felt the life escaping my body as I clung onto any kind of hope that she'd even be able to begin to understand how hard this was for him to do.

I knew Bella was hurt, but we'd done it for her own good, even if she couldn't begin to understand why. I placed my back against the wooden building and heard them both sniffling.

"I know you don't understand this, Iz, but to me you've always been mine."

"I'm eleven, not five. I asked for the truth before. A part of me always wondered why I never looked like you. Now I guess I know." Bella was being so cold. I knew it was killing Ty to hear her talking to him like that. I was even surprised at how grown up she was acting.

"I don't care what a blood test proves or who you look like. No matter what, I'm your father.
 You are my daughter, you always have been and you always will be. My name is on your birth certificate for a reason. I've raised you and given you the best life. I've loved you more than anyone else ever could, Iz. You know it's true. Finding this out doesn't have to change what we mean to each other. Nobody has to know about it."

"You and Mom say lyin' is bad, but now you want me to do it."

"It was to protect you." I couldn't stand there listening to her treat him like that. He wasn't going to be a little broken girls punching bag, no matter how guilty he felt. I walked into the open area and they both looked up.

"Young lady, you need to watch your tongue. I don't care how upset you are. You will not talk to your father that way. Do you hear me? "

She wouldn't answer. Instead, she put her hands up and covered her face, then began to sob. I tried to sit down next to her, to comfort her, to alleviate some of the shock she was experiencing, but she jerked away from me and stood up. "I hate you! I hate you both!"

Ty grabbed Bella by the arm before I could even react. He forced her to sit on the couch and held her arms at her sides. "Iz, I get that you're mad, but don't
you ever say that to your mother again." She refused to look up at him, even when he grabbed her chin and moved it up. Bella's defiance was only making me angrier. She didn't understand how difficult this was for Ty. She had no idea what he was going through and her actions proved that she didn't care. I had never seen her acting so vindictive and I didn't like it one bit.

“Why should I make promises to two liars?” She kept at it, lashing out like I’d never seen her do before.

I smacked her on the cheek and felt the life run out of me. She grabbed her face and started to run off. Ty grabbed her by the shirt and me by the arm. “Please, stop it. I can’t have this happening between all of us. Look at us, Iz. Is this how you want it to be? You want to walk away from the two people that love you the most in the world? You want to sneak behind our backs and look into things that you have no business doing?”

“I just wanted to know the truth.” She was crying and I knew I was to blame for it. I’d never laid a hand on my daughter and I felt horrible about it.

“Bella, we would have told you the truth, when you were ready to hear it.”

“I was ready.
”
“No!” Ty was adamant. “You weren’t. You don’t know half of the truth. Do you honestly think that a couple pictures can explain what really happened? You have no idea what you’re asking for, sweetie.”

“I read that he was in jail before. Is that what you’re talkin’ about?”

Apparently eleven year olds think they know everything and that they’re adults. In this case, Bella may as well have been her brother’s age. The more she pushed, the more frustrated me and Ty were becoming. “It’s way worse than that, Bella. There’s so much that I want to tell you.”

“So tell me.” She sniffled. Her pouty face made it hard to not sit down and tell her what an awful person Tucker was.

“I can’t.” I began to sob again, thinking back to him hitting me while I was pregnant, or hearing him say how much he wanted me to get rid of the baby. He may have been in one picture at the hospital, but after five minutes he was gone. Tucker was a cheater, liar, thief, woman beater and probably more. I hated that she knew about him. “This isn’t happenin’.”

Ty pulled me into his arms and held me tightly.

He must have pointed to the couch. “Sit your little ass down, right now.”

I opened my glossy eyes to see her following his directions. When our eyes met, all I saw was hate. She resented us. I knew it would happen, but I hated the way it
made me feel. I wanted to be there when she was sad, but this time, it was all because of me.

“You keep thinking that we lied to you and you’re right. There were things we lied to you about. The thing is, there
are so many truths as well. This man standing here with us brought you into this world. He held my hand and was there for me when I was in labor. He rode with me to the hospital and was the first man to ever hold you. I saw him fall in love with you that day, Bella.”

She put her head down so I couldn’t see her reaction.

“Tucker Chase was a bad man. He didn’t want a baby or to be with me. He hurt me when I was pregnant and didn’t even want to hold you when you were born.” I was pushing through my sobs to tell her as much as I could. “After you were born, he tried to abduct me in a parking lot, and your father was the person that helped save me.”

“So you had two boyfriends at once?”

“No.” I looked at Ty, who finally let go of me and went to sit next to her. “There was something happening between your mom and I, but we never acted on it. Your grandmom and Uncle Colt, and especially Uncle Conner, didn’t think I was good enough for your mom. So, even though the feelings were there, we didn’t become a couple until you two came to stay with me when you were one.”

I jumped in. “You’re dad here used to video chat with you. He’d sing to you and talk
like a baby to make you laugh. He’s loved you every single day of your life, Bella. I thank God every single day for that.”

“Your mom’s right, Iz. I don’t
give a damn who got her pregnant. You’ve always been mine and you always will be. There’s not a damn person in this world that could ever love you the way I do.” Ty sobbed heavily for a minute, losing his ability to keep talking. Bella looked shocked, seeing him so devastated. “Please, Iz, I’m begging you. Please don’t hate me.”

She looked down at the floor. “Can I go inside now?”

Ty’s body looked like it deflated. He sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, go ahead.”

I watched her walk out and sat down next to Ty. We both said nothing, staring at the old barn walls, but not really looking at them. All I could think about was comforting Ty and finding
a way to put all of this behind us.

I wasn’t just afraid for them
;, I didn’t want this to have an impact on our marriage. Ty couldn’t handle much more. We had two other children to care for, and his head needed to be in the game.

If this was what
being an adolescent was like, I feared for the years to come, knowing we’d only just begun.

We held hands and I looked into his red, sad eyes. “I’m going to call her pediatrician tomorrow and see if she can refer us to a counselor. I think that the sooner we handle this the easier it will be to get past it.”

He squeezed my hand, leaned over and kissed the top of my head. “Thanks for being here. I wasn’t doing very good by myself.”

“I’m your wife. We’re in this together, Ty. No matter what happens, we have each other’s backs. This is a phase. She’s goin’ to act out and be ridiculously bitchy for a few weeks and then everything will be fine again.”

He laughed through his pain. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. She basically just found out that she’s adopted. I don’t know if she’ll ever be able to love me the same way again.”

I looked right at him, giving him a serious look. “She will, Ty.”

He pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. I could feel his emotions pouring through him. “I love you so much, Miranda. I don’t regret any decision we ever made. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right. You know I will.”

I did. I knew he would go to the ends of the earth for us to be happy. That’s why I loved him so much.

“I need to get back inside, before the boys burn down the house.”

“I’m coming, too. Maybe if I stalk her, she’ll give up and realize she has to love me.”

I appreciated that he was trying to joke. I just wasn’t sure if it was going to sway her decision, not this time.

Chapter 19

Tyler

Things didn’t get any better once we got inside of the
house. Izzy had gone back to her room. Miranda went back to check on her and found that she was packing a suitcase.

She came out of the room, asking me to go and talk to Iz. Even though I didn’t think it was a good idea, I went anyway, not giving up on hope that she’d let me be the shoulder she needed to cry on.

I made it to the doorframe and almost lost my cool when I saw her packing up her things. “What are you doing, Iz?”

“I’m goin’ to Mimi’s.”

I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. “What’s that going to solve?”

Izzy sighed and plopped down on her bed. “I don’t like it here right now.”

I walked over and sat down next to her, for a second it seemed like she moved away, showing me that she didn’t want to be close to me. It hurt, but I decided to focus on the matter at hand, instead of adding fuel to the fire. “I know you’re mad at me, but I don’t want you to leave. Who is going to keep the boys in line? You know they’ll come in your room and mess up all your things.”

She looked up and rolled her eyes. “You’re just sayin’ that so I
’ll stay here.”

“No, I’m not.  I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Come on, Iz. You can’t hate me more than I hate myself.”

She let out a chuckle. For a moment, I felt like we were on common ground. “I don’t hate you.”

I put my hand over hers. “I love you, so much.”

She refused to look at me. “Do you love Jax and Jake more than me, because you’re their real dad?”

Never had I considered that she would think that. I loved all of my children the same, but I shared a bond with Izzy that was
unexplainable. I didn’t have a favorite child, because they all made me proud and frustrated. “Of course not, Iz. I told you this already. To me, you’re mine. Why do you think we never wanted anyone to know about Tucker?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You told me he was a bad man, or Mom did.”

“It’s not just because of how he was. Look, maybe you’re too young to understand this, but when a woman gets pregnant, the man doesn’t really have any control over what she does with the baby. Some people choose to give the baby up for adoption, some even have a medical procedure where they terminate the pregnancy, but some women, like your mother, choose to have the baby. She didn’t care if he didn’t want to be a part of your life. She wanted you anyway. Iz, it sucks that he was too stupid to want you, but I have to believe it happened because you were always meant to be mine. Your mother and I wanted to be a family. We chose to raise you as mine, because it was the right thing to do. You can be mad at me. You can run away to Mimi’s or Uncle Conner’s, but my feelings are never going to change.”

We sat there quietly. Jake came running in the room with a pair of underwear on his head and a rubber sword in his hand. “I’m Captain Underwear!”

Iz let out a little laugh as we watched him run back out of the room. It was silent again and I knew she was still feeling let down.

“Do you need help packing?” I figured that it was time to give her space. She may have only been a child, but she was smart one. This was where I stopped begging and let her
be. I put my hand on her knee and waited until she looked at me. “How about I go call Mimi and let her know you’re coming?”

I wanted her to say that she’d
changed her mind; that she wasn’t going to leave me sitting there with a broken heart.

“Okay.”

I walked out of the room, unable to keep my composure. My phone was up to my ear and I was talking, but everything seemed to go into tunnel vision. I needed to find Miranda, because she was the only person who could begin to understand how broken I felt.

My mother was more than upset when she found out what had taken place. None of us wanted to lie about Izzy being blood, but we also never considered her anything
else. Afraid that she was going to upset her, my mother promised to keep her composure and not talk about it unless Izzy brought it up.

I felt deflated, but knew she was in good hands with my parents.

It had been a frustrating night and thankfully, the boys passed out early. I carried them to their room and tucked them into bed.

Miranda was waiting for me on the couch. She patted the spot beside her. As soon as I plopped down, she had her arms around me and was climbing on my lap. I reached around and grabbed her ass, holding her there against me. “I love you, baby.”

She leaned back and ran her hands over my face. “I love you, too. Have faith, Ty.”