Loving the Marquess (20 page)

She was silent and Nicholas made the mistake of looking at
her. Her whole demeanor had stiffened and he knew he’d hurt her. Again. Gone
was the warm, sleepy, and happy woman that had just woken. In her place was a
woman who was becoming all too adept at holding herself aloof from him.

* * *
* *

Kerrick was relieved to overhear one of the maids telling a
footman that Lord Overlea was feeling better. He’d actually feared Nicholas
would die. When he ran into Louisa in the breakfast room, however, that relief
quickly turned to annoyance. She wouldn’t tell him what had happened, but it
was clear she was upset.

Not bothering to inquire whether his friend was disposed to
receive visitors, he headed straight to Nicholas’s bedroom after breakfast,
knocked curtly, and entered. Nicholas was, indeed, looking better. His skin no
longer had that horrible ashen complexion and he was sitting up, the remains of
his breakfast tray resting on the bed beside him.

Nicholas put down the newspaper he was reading and raised a
brow in question.

“It would seem that in the last two days people have grown
accustomed to entering my bedroom whenever the whim strikes.”

Kerrick smiled. Despite the fact that Nicholas was a damned
stubborn fool, Kerrick was comforted to see him looking well.

“You had a close one,” he said.

“So I hear.”

“I hope you realize you may very well owe your life to your
wife.”

Nicholas frowned. “So everyone keeps telling me.”

“Everyone?”

“Grandmother was also here,” he said with an exaggerated
sigh. “She actually wants me to agree not to move about unsupervised. Not even
in my own house. Can you imagine? Me with a nursemaid, at my age?”

It was obvious that he was trying to lighten the mood, but
Kerrick wasn’t in the frame of mind to joke about the situation. He went to the
chair where Louisa had remained during her husband’s illness and sank into the
seat.

“What happened, Nicholas?”

His friend blew out a harsh breath and leaned back in his
chair. “You know what happened,” he said, the corners of his mouth turning
downward. “I had an attack. A maid found me and the doctor was called. You
would know better than I since I was unconscious for most of it.”

Kerrick watched his friend intently. He could always tell
when Nicholas was lying or holding something back and his instincts were
telling him that he was hiding something now.

“You might as well tell me. I won’t go away until you do.”

“I could have you thrown out.”

“You could, but you won’t.”

Nicholas didn’t bother to deny it. “I need to speak to you
about Louisa,” he said.

This is it,
Kerrick thought.
He’s going to tell me
he’s reconsidered his asinine request that I father a child whom he would claim
as his heir.
He was careful to keep his expression neutral as he waited for
his friend to continue.

“It appeared to me before this last attack that the two of
you had or were about to come to an understanding about my proposition.”

He didn’t reply. He wanted to know what his friend was
thinking first.

“For God’s sake, Kerrick, will you answer me?”

“I’m sorry, was that a question? It sounded more like a
statement.”

Nicholas scowled. “You’re damned lucky I’m too weak to get
out of this chair right now.”

Kerrick decided now might not be the best time to test his
friend’s patience. He had no doubt Louisa would strangle him with her bare
hands if his baiting caused her husband to suffer a relapse.

“If you must know,” he said, “she hasn’t told me yet if
she’s willing to do this. And you already know I won’t press her.”

“So you decided that the best course of action is to woo her
openly in my own house?”

“I haven’t been wooing her; I’ve been getting to know her.
You can hardly expect her to agree to bed a man she barely knows. Another woman
might do that, but not your wife. Even I know that much from the little time
I’ve spent in her company.”

“My brain hasn’t been addled by this last episode. I’ve seen
you in action and I know when you are wooing a woman.”

This was good, he thought. Nicholas was definitely annoyed
and that could only be because he wanted Louisa for himself.

“If you prefer, I can always leave. I wouldn’t want to
overstay my welcome.”

The fight seemed to go out of Nicholas at those words. “No,”
he said. “I don’t want that.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want this whole thing over with already. I want Louisa to
already be pregnant with your child and then I want to do my damnedest to
forget the whole thing.”

Kerrick was stunned. “You wish us to continue?”

“I need you to ask her once and for all if she will do this.
Surely she knows you well enough by now. And given what has happened, she’ll
recognize that time is not a luxury we have.”

“But you just said…” He couldn’t find the words to continue.
He couldn’t believe Nicholas wished to continue with this nonsense, especially
since it was so clear to all involved that he hated every second of it.

“I said that I do not wish the whole world to see you wooing
my wife. I do not wish there to be any question about the paternity of Louisa’s
child.”

Although he’d only been in the role a short time, Nicholas
had donned his imperious marquess façade. Kerrick hated it when he did that
since it forced him to put on his own formal mask. It was tiresome enough
having to do that with the rest of the world. He hated when he had to act the
part of the Earl of Kerrick with his friends.

“As you wish, Overlea. I shall do my best to seduce your
wife, then remove myself from your presence. With any luck, I won’t have to
return next month, or in nine months if she has a girl.” He caught the
reflexive clenching of his friend’s hands. Good, he thought. “I believe you
were going to tell me what it is you are hiding.”

When Nicholas remained silent, Kerrick thought he wasn’t
going to reply. Despite his annoyance at his friend’s colossal obstinacy, he
had no intention of leaving the room until he learned what Nicholas was hiding.

“You know both my father and my brother also suffered from
these attacks.”

Kerrick nodded. Nicholas had been very concerned for their
health.

“I have also told you that episodes were often triggered or
made worse by alcohol consumption.”

Kerrick frowned. “Yes, but that wouldn’t apply here because
I know you’ve been careful.”

Nicholas’s mouth twisted wryly. “Not quite.”

Kerrick swore. Unable to sit still any longer, he stood and
began to pace. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

He turned back to face Nicholas. “Let me understand you. Are
you actually telling me that you’ve been drinking? Knowing what happened to
your father and your brother?”

“I’ve had attacks here and there without drinking.”

“Yes, but damn it to hell, Nicholas. Why would you be so
reckless? Do you wish to die?” A horrible thought occurred to him. “Good Lord,
tell me you weren’t at death’s door these past two days because you’d been
drinking.”

Nicholas remained silent, which Kerrick took as
confirmation. Horror and guilt washed over him when he realized this was his
fault. He’d done this to his friend. His little game to try to make Nicholas
realize he cared for his wife had driven him too far. Louisa had told him she
and her husband had kissed that night in the library. She’d also told him that
the kiss had made no difference to her husband. That he’d still been determined
to go through with his plan for his heir. That could only mean Nicholas had
been drinking to try to put this horrible mess out of his mind. To forget the
kiss he’d shared with his wife. A kiss that might never have happened if he
hadn’t plotted to prick Nicholas’s jealousy and bring him and Louisa together
by leaving those cursed notes.

Louisa tried not to dwell on what
had happened that morning. She’d been so relieved when she’d opened her eyes
and found Nicholas struggling to get up… for a moment she’d found herself
unable to breathe. His curt dismissal of her had hurt. She’d realized then that
his feelings, whatever they might be, didn’t matter. He may have been jealous,
but clearly he was determined to keep an impenetrable wall between them.

After the kiss they’d shared, it was obvious to her that he
did desire her physically. The feel of his hands on her body as he’d crushed
her to him, the feel of his arousal pressing against her lower belly… she’d
wanted that kiss to go on forever. Instead, he’d cast her aside, just as he had
that morning.

She didn’t expect to see him that day. He hadn’t wanted her
to see it, but he was weaker than he cared to admit. She knew it would take
time for him to recover. One could not come as close to death as he had without
feeling the repercussions afterward.

Louisa resisted the urge to check on him after dinner.
Relieved that her grandson had survived his attack, Lady Overlea had made a
point of looking in on him frequently. Louisa would have to rely on his
grandmother for news of her husband’s progress.

Nicholas had been correct about one thing. After staying by
his bedside for two days she was exhausted. She’d kept herself busy all day,
but that night she fell asleep almost before her head hit the pillow. She woke
up the next morning refreshed, but then dread settled over her as she
considered the long day ahead. Sighing, she got out of bed and rang for her
maid to help her dress.

Lord Kerrick joined them for breakfast that morning. After
seeing Nicholas the day before, he’d gone out she hadn’t had a chance to speak
to him. Looking at the man now, she got the distinct impression that he was
trying to avoid her. When he rose from the breakfast table to leave, she
excused herself and followed him into the hallway. He was headed out again.

“Lord Kerrick,” she called out.

He stopped and turned to face her, his movements curiously
cautious.

“Lady Overlea,” he said with an abbreviated bow.

She frowned. Something was definitely the matter. “Can I
speak with you for a moment?” she asked, conscious of the fact they were being
observed by the footman.

“I had other plans—”

“I will be brief. It concerns my husband.”

She saw the reluctance in his eyes, but he finally nodded
his acceptance. She led the way into the library. She wanted to close the doors
but knew it wouldn’t be proper. Instead, she made her way to the center of the
large room so they wouldn’t be overheard before turning to face Kerrick.

“You’ve changed your mind,” she said.

“Partially.”

“What does that mean? Why have you been avoiding me?” She
almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation in which she found herself.
“Everyone is walking on eggshells around me. They all seem to know something is
going on, but no one wants to speak of it. I don’t know if they’re trying to
spare my feelings or if they pity me.”

“No one wants to hurt you.”

“Including you,” she said softly.

He nodded.

“Will you tell me what happened? Was it something I said or
did?”

“No, absolutely not. You are not to blame. In fact, I fear
that I am.”

He was making no sense. “I don’t understand.”

He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again and
looking at her squarely.

“Your husband’s last episode, the one that nearly killed
him… God, I hate to say this. It was my fault.”

She could only stare at him. What was he saying?

“I fail to see how you could possibly be to blame for what
happened to my husband. He has a medical condition. This is not the first time
this illness has caused him to lose consciousness, though I believe it is the
most severe attack he has suffered.”

He was still for a moment, his gaze averted. When he looked
at her again, his entire posture had stiffened as though he were bracing
himself. From what, she wondered. Her condemnation?

“I know about Nicholas’s episodes. I’ve even witnessed one
before now,” Kerrick said.

“Then you know about his medical condition. So, you see, you
couldn’t possibly be to blame for what happened.”

He shook his head. “On the contrary.” He exhaled sharply and
continued. “Nicholas told me that episodes can be brought on when he drinks. He
has seen the same thing happen to his father and brother and has had it happen
to him.”

“You gave him something to drink?” she asked, frowning.

“Not directly, no. But I am responsible for him drinking.
That night, the one on which he collapsed… well, you already know I’d planned
to prick Nicholas’s jealousy. To have him reveal himself to you. I thought I
was being so clever.”

“You were,” she said. “And I am grateful you did so. That
night confirmed to me that he does have feelings for me. At the very least, I
know that he does not find me unattractive.”

Lord Kerrick smiled at that. “I doubt very much that anyone
would find you so.”

She colored at the compliment and he continued.

“I fear my maneuverings that night drove him over the edge.”

She shook her head. “That is a little extreme. He didn’t
hurt me. In fact, quite the opposite,” she said, her blush deepening.

“Yes, but don’t you see? Nicholas admitted to me that he
drank that night after he left you. God!” He turned and paced to the far
window. Louisa was stunned as the import of his words sank in. “He will never
relent. And this latest episode has only strengthened his resolve. The only
thing my stupid game accomplished was to drive my best friend to do the very
thing that could end up killing him.”

“No,” she said, seeing how distressed he was. “No. This was
not your fault. And remember, I did agree to go along with your plan.”

“I drove him to those drinks, Louisa,” he said, his voice
bleak. “As surely as if I’d taken the bottle and placed it in his hand myself.”