Loving the White Liar (12 page)

“Home, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’ll wait until he leaves.”

“Why?”

“Because in the twenty years I’ve known him, I never thought he’d pull that sick shit and I don’t know what he’s capable of!” He moved me out of the doorway as he looked out to see Randy rapidly packing his room.

“Get it all, man, because you are never getting back in.” He slammed the door again, making me jump.

“Go, clean the blood off,” he said, ordering me away.

“Fuck you,” I said, shaking as I slid down the wall next to the door, covering my head as I buried it in between my legs, crying quietly. A twenty year friendship, whether it was my fault or not, was over, and I felt terrible for Jayden. But at the same time, it was the first time I’d ever wanted to truly be away from him. This raging monster was nothing like the man I loved. He was understandably pissed off, but it was amped up by a million, making him unreasonable toward me. I stayed silent, not looking up as I heard Randy racing down the hall with his shit to make himself scarce. I could feel Jayden’s presence, but couldn’t bring myself to face him. I hadn’t done a fucking thing wrong, but somehow it felt like I had.

“I would never hurt you, Hilary,” Jayden said after a few minutes. “Ever.”

I nodded into my knees as a small sob escaped my lips.

“He deserved it and so much worse,” Jayden said, his voice now belonging to him.

I didn’t say anything as he stood in front of me with his door open, watching Randy leave. I looked up briefly and saw the flash of pain cover his face as Randy threw his key on the floor at Jayden’s feet before leaving.

I was too emotional to form a sentence, so I waited a few minutes as Jayden looked down at me. Our eyes met and I stood up.

“Is Gerri home?”

“No,” I said through a snot-filled nose.

“Take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, picking up my bag.

“Please, just stay here tonight. When I know where he’s landed, I’ll feel better. I don’t think he would do anything, but I guess you really never know people.” I nodded as he grabbed a pillow off his bed and walked out the door.

I stood in the shower for the second time, wiping off the now dried blood and sucking it up. I’d acted like a cry baby, when in truth Randy did deserve it. But I had never witnessed anything like that and I couldn’t deny it shook me to my core. I finished my shower and threw on one of Jay’s large t-shirts that swallowed me and dove into bed. I was crying quietly a few minutes later when Jayden slipped into bed behind me.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell at you, I swear.” I nodded as I broke down with a quiet sob. He turned me over on my back, forcing my face to his. “I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean it.” I cried harder because of how much I loved him, how much I knew his friend had just hurt him.

“I’m okay,” I hiccupped.

“I should have taken him outside to deal with him. You shouldn’t have had to see that. I just couldn’t handle it when I saw him in the doorway looking at you. I fucking lost it.”

“I... .” I hiccupped again. “I get it, I totally do. I don’t know why I can’t stop crying,” I said, taking a breath.

“I scared you,” he said, remorse apparent as he wiped my tears away. “I don’t want you afraid of me. I would never hurt you, baby, I swear. I’d hurt me before I ever hurt you. And I hate that he saw you like that. It fucking kills me.”

He leaned in, kissing me gently. “This body is mine, you know? Or at least I want it to be. I never want another man looking at you like that.” His soothing whisper set me at ease, and when I was finally able to talk without baited breath, I kissed him and turned on my side. “It’s getting late, we both have work. Let’s just try to sleep.”

“Okay, baby, I’m going to go walk Trip.” I nodded as he kissed my shoulder and let me go. An hour later, I was still staring at his bedside clock when I felt his arms around me. I relaxed into him as I drifted off.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I realized I’d only slept for a few hours but knew it was pointless. My alarm would be going off in an hour so I decided to swim early. Finding the apartment empty, I began to worry about Jayden. I shot him a text stating where I would be as I made my way to the pool. I froze at the gate when I saw him in a lounge chair staring off into space. I opened the gate and walked over to him. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon and the morning was looking as bleak as last night. It was only when I was standing in front of him that Jayden acknowledged me.

“Did you sleep at all?” I asked as he looked up at me.

“No,” he replied, low. He was looking right at me, but seemed to be looking past me as he asked, “Did I fuck us up? Did I lose you?” His eyes were rimmed with red, not tearful, but mournful. He’d honestly thought he’d lost me.

I climbed into his lap and he quickly gathered me close to him as I wrapped the towel I was holding around us, looking down at him. “Of course not, Jayden. Is that why you are out here?”

“I couldn’t even let you leave my apartment last night because I was more afraid you wouldn’t come back than I was of what Randy might do.” He wiped his face, seemingly frustrated as he continued. “I don’t leave my house often because of shit like that. I’m too afraid of what I might do, what my reactions will be if shit goes wrong. Sometimes I can’t control it, so I go out of my way to avoid it. I’m fucked up, Hilary.”

“Jay—”

He cut me off with his gaze as he looked up at me, more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him. “I’m in love with you, Hilary. I’m totally and completely in love with you and I have been for a while.”

Still raw with emotion, I let my tears fall. “I love you too, Jayden.”

He let out a long breath as I towered over him, raising his hands and running his fingers through my hair before bringing my mouth to his. “You do?” he asked sweetly as I nodded. “So much.”

He crushed his mouth to mine as I wrapped myself in his kiss. When our tender lip lock turned hungry, he pulled away. “Let’s go inside.”

Still wrapped in a towel, I pushed him back against the chair then pulled down his shorts, letting his hard length spring free as I stroked it with my hand. Before he could object, I pulled my swim bottoms to the side and took him inside me slowly, inch by delicious inch. We both gasped at the feeling as Jayden looked around us cautiously before returning his gaze back up to me, eyes blazing. The world was still asleep as he began to move in perfect rhythm. “I could never lose you, baby. Not you,” he croaked out, sounding desperate as I covered him in me. I leaned forward, taking his mouth. “You won’t, Jayden, I promise.”

With his deep blue eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, morning stubble rough against my hand, and his mouth parted, he’d never looked more beautiful. He lifted me up, pushing his shorts down further and burying himself inside me, wrapping his arms around my waist and murmuring into my chest.

“I love you, Jayden,” I repeated as he feathered kisses over my neck, his throbbing cock stealing the rest of my words away. I came minutes later as he looked up at me.

“Come here,” he whispered before taking my mouth and thrusting his tongue in, keeping rhythm with his hips. He was greedy for more as he circled and pushed deeper, and I rode out another orgasm, gripping his shoulders. He looked up at me as he came, giving me his noises, his expression, and I knew then I would never love anyone else the same.

Two weeks later, I found myself at the dinner table with Alexis and Jayden. Shortly after our bad night with Randy, our world resumed as if it had never happened. I could sense Jay’s melancholy at the loss of his friend, but he refused to talk about it. In truth, that night had brought us closer together as a couple. Each time he whispered he loved me, I felt nothing but elated.

I’d fallen so far, so fast for him, but my fear of getting hurt no longer existed. My heart was carefree, had already accepted the gift given. Jayden still took special care to court me in an old school manner by putting actual pen to paper, leaving me reminders of his love all over the apartment. Most of them were borrowed lyrics from songs he loved, some of them were sexual, and some were nagging reminders for things like putting the lid back on the toothpaste, which always earned him an eye roll.

Tonight, Jayden had insisted on cooking dinner when I’d told him about my overbearing sister’s plans to come and check him out. I’d told him as much as I could about Alexis as he grilled me while he prepped for dinner. He seemed unusually nervous, so I had pulled down his pants an hour before she arrived, calming him in the way I knew might work, in addition to making him a fresh pot of coffee.

Jay said the coffee was a stimulant and had the opposite effect on him than it did most people. He’d been sharing with me more and more about the reasons behind his idiosyncrasies. He’d said he’d stopped taking the medicine in his cabinets years ago and had learned to deal with his “shit” on his own. I didn’t fight him on it, because in truth, I didn’t really ever see a need to. Every day I learned something new about my love, and everyday had created a new memory.

Now at the table, he gripped my hand, giving it a quick squeeze as Alexis took a bite of his mother’s famous chicken casserole.

“Holy shit, this is amazing!” Alexis looked to me, her curly brown hair piled on top of her head, brown eyes bulging as she moaned in appreciation.

“Told you.” I smiled with pride as I looked to Jayden, who winked conspiratorially.

We sat through only a few minutes of forced conversation before it became natural. The wine flowed as the laughter poured out, and I found myself smiling like an idiot between the two. When dinner was done, we kept residence at the table.

Alexis looked at Jayden with amusement. Jayden, still slightly nervous under Alexis’ scrutinizing eyes, kept the wine flowing and got up when the music stopped to start a new playlist. He’d also told me music was the greatest coping mechanism for him when he couldn’t get quietude. He sat back down and sipped his wine.

I grabbed my glass as a few minutes of silence followed.

“So, Jay, what do you do?”

“I already told you, Lexi, he’s a woodworker.” She gave me an ‘eat shit’ look and turned to Jayden for her explanation.

He grinned and answered, “I’m a woodworker.” Alexis giggled and it was then that I realized she was crushing on my man. Alexis didn’t giggle. “Really, my uncle and I make custom cabinets and furniture. I like the design aspect and he’s more hands on.”

“That’s really cool,” she said, her wine buzz showing in her reddening cheeks. A knock at the door puzzled me as I looked to Jayden. “You expecting someone?”

“Owen is supposed to stop by with an order,” he said with a wink. “Excuse me.”

He met Owen at the door, and curiosity got the best of me as he greeted us and my eyes bulged as I noticed how handsome he was. He had been my second option in the job department. He was older, probably around thirty-five, with dark, sandy blond hair and tan skin. He had an athletic build and almond-shaped, green eyes. It surprised me that Jayden would trust me to work with a friend so good looking considering his jealous streak. But then again, I could be surrounded by a sea of penises and would zero in on Jay’s without hesitation. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d noticed another man. It was as if that world had disappeared.

Alexis stiffened when Owen walked into the living room, continuing to sip her wine, her eyes deadlocked on our visitor.

Alexis likey.

He greeted us both warmly. Jay insisted, after a slight hesitation on Owen’s part, for him to join us. Jay set a plate down and Owen declined dinner but agreed to a beer. He seemed to do a slight double take as he surveyed my sister, and I couldn’t help but notice Jay’s subtle smile as he noticed it, too.

That’s when I realized that Owen dropping by was not just coincidence. I narrowed my eyes at Jayden across the table as his gaze averted from mine. He gave me a shrug as Alexis and Owen struck up a conversation. I sucked my lips in my mouth and slowly shook my head, letting him know I was onto to him. He mouthed “I love you” and was instantly out of trouble.

An hour later, we decided to head to the living room with our booze and conversation. Alexis was all but too happy to keep Owen company as Jayden and I cleared the dishes.

“Slick, baby, but you know the whole point of this was for
you
to get to know my family,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist as he scrubbed dried casserole off one of the plates.

“I have all the time in the world for that, and based on what you told me about her, I thought of Owen. He’s just as much of a workaholic as she is. He’s been divorced for years and I knew it couldn’t hurt to at least introduce them...and take the pressure off of me.”

I squeezed his waist tighter, placing my cheek on his back. “I’m sorry you felt that way.”

“I wanted to meet your family,” he promised.

“How do you know Owen? He’s older than you.”

He hesitated slightly before answering. “He helped me out once in a big way and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“Oh, how?” I asked as I put my back to the counter, leaning back to gaze at my beautiful man. He had on a collared, light green shirt and khakis. His typically messy brown hair was combed back neatly. Leaning in, I kissed the divot in his chin and he grunted mildly, sounding irritated because I was keeping him from his task. When I reached out to put my hands in his hair, he gave me the stink eye.

“Out.” I chuckled and rewrapped my hands around him only to hear his exasperated sigh. I was purposefully distracting him and chuckled as he scrambled to complete his chore. It was cute watching him get bent out of shape. I knew multitasking was difficult for him, especially when I was attempting to turn him on. I was put off by it the first time I straddled him while he was playing his Xbox only to be quickly discarded off of his lap and scorned. I’d been temporarily hurt by it, but understood it was just one of his quirks. And so I decided I liked it much better when his focus was solely on me. I would bide my time until that was the case, because the payoff was fucking phenomenal.

“I’m leaving, babe,” I said lightly as I took one last look at him before rounding the corner to join my sister and Owen in the living room. Jayden refused to let me help him with any household chore— another one of his quirks. I had folded a load of towels for him one day and watched him at the same time thank me while completely refolding them. It was pointless to try.

Rejoining my sister and Owen in the living room, I noticed my sister’s attentiveness towards Owen and felt slightly intrusive in my interruption. They seemed rapt in conversation as I took a seat next to my sister on the couch.

“So you are in Columbia?” Owen asked. “I designed the Timber building.”

“Really? That was you?! It’s beautiful. It absolutely changed the skyline for the better.”

“You think so? Thanks,” he added proudly.

“Absolutely. I’m looking to purchase a bigger space soon, or renovate. Maybe you could give me some pointers on expanding where I’m at?”

Owen didn’t hesitate before pulling out his card and handing it to her. “I’d love to help.” His words were suggestive in a way that made my sister’s lips turn up in a small smile.

“Well, I should go. I’ve interrupted your time with your sister long enough.” He turned to me and addressed me. “If things don’t work out at the agency, give me a call. I’ll make room for you.”

“Thank you, that’s so kind. And really, you aren’t interrupting anything by staying for one more beer,” I offered. He looked from me to my sister and nodded with a ‘sure.’ I stood up to get his beer and he looked back at me. “I’ve known Jayden a long time and I have to tell you I’ve never seen him so happy. Whatever you are doing, it’s working.”

My chest expanded with his words as I replied, “I’m loving him.”

“Well...keep it up,” he said with a wink.

“Not even a question,” I said, making my way to the kitchen to grab a beer. I twisted off the top and turned to Jayden who was still elbows deep in dishes, humming along to his playlist, completely oblivious to the world. I left him to it as I rejoined our guests. Owen thanked me as their topic transitioned from architecture to family. Owen mentioned he had a three-year-old daughter, and Alexis who was completely anti-little-people actually asked to see a picture. Owen proudly produced a thousand on his iPhone, and I noticed my sister’s eyes light up as she commented on the photo.

“She looks just like you,” she said, studying the picture with interest.

I took a seat as Owen gushed about his daughter and Jayden joined me on the couch, hot coffee in hand. I looked over to him and smiled as he took my hand. So this was domestication. I could totally get used to this.

“She’s so big,” Jayden said, grabbing Owen’s phone. “It’s been way too long since I’ve seen her. We need to set that up.”

“What’s her name?” I asked, noting she did look a lot like Owen.

“Olivia.”

I felt a tug as I stared at the blonde haired, little girl with chubby cheeks holding up the
Frozen
DVD. It looked like she was at her birthday party surrounded by her friends. Her eyes were lit up as she proudly held her movie.

“Do you want kids?” Jayden asked in a low voice meant only for me after I’d handed Owen back his phone and he and Alexis resumed their chatter. I took a long look at Jayden as he studied me before giving him an honest answer. “Sure, if it’s in the cards.”

Alexis interrupted our private conversation before I had the chance to decipher his expression. “My mother wanted to extend the invitation for Sunday brunch, Jayden.” I glared at Alexis, knowing this was her plan all along. She had obviously plotted with my mother to bring it to fruition. I looked quickly to Jayden who hesitated briefly, sipping his coffee before answering, “Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Really?” I asked in a whisper.

“Yeah, baby, I’d love to come.” He squeezed my knee before making an excuse of needing more coffee to leave the room, offering everyone else a cup. We all declined as he made his way back to the kitchen. I contained my venom as Owen looked between my sister and me, clearly reading the situation.

“Well, I’m going to get going,” Alexis said, taking her leave before I could get her alone. Jayden came back out holding a fresh cup and said his goodbyes.

“I’ll see you both Sunday,” she mused at my pissed expression as she turned to Owen who said, “I’ll walk you out.” We all said our goodbyes as they made their way out and I resisted the urge to kick my sister in the ass as she crossed the threshold.

When the door was shut, my eyes met Jayden’s.

“I won’t subject you to them until you are completely ready. Seriously, babe, I’ll make an excuse for you.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” Even as he said the words, I sensed his hesitation.