Loving the White Liar (4 page)

And that’s why after a few games of pool I scrutinized the new object of her affection while he mixed drinks for a group of girls a few seats down from us.

“Mike, how you been?” I asked as he delivered Gerri and me fresh beers in his next round around the bar.

“Good, Hilary. You?”

“Never better. So, how is ...oh, I forgot her name.”

“So did I.” He winked at Gerri as I leaned in. “Tabitha. We broke up last night.” I felt Gerri stiffen next to me, her hand going from the bar to my leg to give it a painful squeeze of excitement.

“I’m sorry,” I offered.

“Don’t be.” He gestured with his chin toward Gerri. “I got some good advice from a beautiful girl and I couldn’t pass it up.” He leaned over the bar, kissing Gerri’s cheek before addressing me. “This one’s on me, ladies.”

“Must have been some advice,” I said, feeling the elation rolling off my best friend sitting next to me.

“Yeah, it was.” He never took his eyes off Gerri as I secretly celebrated with her. Mike was good looking with short, dirty blond hair, and soft brown eyes, but most of his allure was in his confidence and I could see his appeal. He walked to the end of the bar, motioning for Gerri to join him for a private conversation. She all but leapt from her stool to round the bar. They talked animatedly for a few minutes before Gerri walked confidently back to her stool.

“Wow, Gerri,” I said, feeling the happiness as it radiated off of her.

“We have to go, like right now,” she clipped out. My fluttering and happy heart nosedived as I looked over at her, unable to read her expression, thinking maybe I’d read the situation wrong. I thanked Mike who smiled at Gerri. She plastered a smile on her face and turned to the door quickly. When we got closer to the car, she began to chant over and over. “Oh my God, oh my God, OH MY GOD!” My heart resumed beating and I knew when we were safely seated in the car the scream was coming.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! He asked me out. Oh God, Hil, it happened!” I chuckled as she pumped her fist in the air a number of times before leaping into my seat and hugging me. “Perseverance, woman! I worked for that fine ass man, and now I shall have him!”

“It’s a date, not nuptials.”

“Don’t.” She pleaded with her eyes. “Don’t do that. You saw it, the connection is real.”

“I promise not to go all Negative Nancy on you, but please, Gerri be careful. He’s barely a day out of a relationship.”

“She wasn’t me,” Gerri said confidently.

“Fucking A she wasn’t,” I agreed. Why was I so fearful he wouldn’t return her affection? I needed to be building her up, not shooting her dreams down with my selfish fear for her. I reached over and grabbed her hand. “And just wait until he knows exactly what he’s getting, babe. He’ll be a goner.”

We celebrated by picking up some Chinese and more beer and discussing down to the detail what she would wear on their first date. That night, I saw a small piece of what was stolen from her resurface in her demeanor: a little extra sparkle in her eyes and the return of some much-needed confidence.

Before I went to sleep that night, I reminded myself of the dangers of investing too much into one person.

The absolute truth was and would always be that love giveth, and love taketh away, and that...sometimes love has the power redeem itself in reputation.

I wanted that for Gerri, and more than anything, I wanted that for myself. I was ready.

I only hoped I didn’t have to wait forever for my redeemer. Then my thoughts drifted to Jayden and suddenly I was even more excited about my own possibilities.

I got through the lunch shift determined to give myself enough time to primp in my new suit before I met Jay at the pool. I’d never had a date where swimwear was required. And I didn’t even know if I could technically call it that since we’d agreed to simply meet and have a beer.

I bought a twelve pack of the beer we shared the day before then painted my nails. I’d even taken the time to blow dry my long hair perfectly straight. It looked silky and touchable. I dusted my body in a shimmery bronzer and plumped my lips with gloss. It was about as much as I could do considering I couldn’t put on a face of makeup.

When I was satisfied, I grabbed my mini cooler and headed for the pool. Gerri was working a double so I had no one for the pre-date pep talk. Regardless, Gerri sent me a text.

Gerri: Remember, if he’s a total dumbass then abuse him for his looks. I’ll be praying he has a decent IQ, good heart, and a large penis. But please for the love of God get some ass this year.

Good enough, Gerri. I smiled as I walked to the pool. I was a little early so I wasn’t disheartened to see Jayden wasn’t there yet. I smiled shyly at the guy who was sunbathing who noticed me walk in with the slamming of the gate behind me.

Taking a seat in the lounger, I stripped off my cover up and rested against the chair. I popped my first beer nervously then took a long drink before closing my eyes, listening to the human noise and the traffic in the distance. The feeling of eyes on me hit me before the sound of the gate slamming closed. I knew it was Jayden and made no attempt to open my eyes, even as I was covered in his shadow.

“Um...hi.”

I smiled, keeping my eyes closed. “Hi.”

“Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it. Your nipple is in full view, babe.” My eyes popped open as I looked down to see that yes indeed my entire nipple was in view. Somehow when I’d taken off my cover up the curtain on the top of my bikini had spread wide open. I jumped back as if he’d shot me, covering myself immediately as I let out a string of curses.

Jay chuckled as he reached down to grab a beer from my cooler. “That’s the first time I’ve ever gotten to second base without laying a hand on a girl.”

“Not funny. Jesus, I’ve been laying here for twenty minutes.”

“And once again, you’ve improved the scenery tenfold,” he egged-on as he pulled off his shirt. “And I’m going to have a hell of a hard time ignoring what I just saw.”

I blew out a hard breath. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be.” I looked up at him, shielding my eyes with my hand. He grabbed my hand, his lips touching the skin on the back. “Everything I’ve seen so far is beautiful.”

“What a line,” I snorted, sure I looked anything but graceful. He still had my hand, and I felt more than the warmth from the sun heating me.

“Oh, but, man, if it works,” he said, kissing my hand again. It was quick, but I swore I felt a hint of tongue. My thighs stiffened as my sex clenched. I was already turned on and had no choice but to look away from him.

“So far so good, Jay,” I said softly.

He smiled down at me and for the first time I was able to fully take him in. His eyes were heated, but his smile was full of tenderness. If I didn’t have much of his attention before, my oxygen hungry nipple ensured I had it all now. I was suddenly thankful for my wardrobe malfunction.

“So, how was your day, Hilary?” he asked as he joined me, taking a seat on the chair beside me.

“The usual, work, life altering decisions I can’t make, and now I’m here with you pretending they will answer themselves.”

He quirked a brow. “Life altering decisions?”

“Career path. I’ve been undecided since...forever.”

“Bummer. You’ll figure it out,” he said, sounding indifferent. I laughed at his obvious need for more interesting conversation. I didn’t need him to be my couch doctor, anyway. His purpose was to distract me from my catastrophe.

“What’s so funny?” he asked with a smile.

“Nothing.”

“Ah, so you laugh for no reason. So you’re obviously nuts. Tell me more.”

“What exactly do you want to know?” I gave him a sideways glance, soaking up the ridges and bumps of muscle that made up his abdomen and slowly letting my eyes drift up, giving myself an afternoon snack. It was only fair; he’d had his fill.

“Attached?” he asked, glancing my way before closing his eyes.

“No, you?”

“No, I’m bad at the boy/girl stuff,” he admitted under his breath, but loud enough so I could hear.

“Oh,” I said, immediately disheartened. I was sure the no strings speech was coming and chose to ignore it. Our little rendezvous didn’t have to mean anything, but for some reason I remained hopeful. Maybe it was his six pack or the blue of his eyes, but I knew it was my attraction that kept my fingers clinging to the proverbial ledge.

Sensing my hesitation, he quickly added, “What I mean is, I’ve been told I’m a horrible boyfriend.”

“Really?” I asked, alarmed. “How so?”

“Let’s start with beer and work our way up to our flaws.” He pulled out his iPod then hit play. I listened to his mix for a few minutes while sipping my beer. I actually enjoyed the comfortable silence with him, but after a longer time my curiosity won out. I looked over at him, ready to resume conversation and saw that he had fallen asleep. I let out a low “what the hell” in exasperation and then glared as his perfect, stupid, sleeping body.

Why, lord, why?

Resigned that my date—non-date—was already a disaster, I quickly covered myself and made my way to the gate, giving one last fleeting look back. He was sleeping peacefully and I felt a sad tug at the loss of the excitement I’d had the day before. I pried my fingers off of the ledge into a free fall of ‘damn it to hell’ and landed into my pity party.

Shitty boyfriend was right. If our date was any indication of what to expect, I understood clearly. I left angry, even though I knew I really had no right to be. Jayden lay poolside with the rest of my beer and a large amount of my pride.

The next day, I was still reeling from the nerve of the hot ass man who apparently couldn’t handle a conversation with me. I’d bored him to sleep within five sentences. Deciding not to dwell on my first semi-date in months being a complete disaster, I instead focused on finding a new job.

I rummaged through the city paper while eating a salad on break, searching for anything I knew would be a welcome change. I’d had enough of running my ass off for a shit wage. I was a smart resourceful woman, I could do this.

I circled a couple of ads and got back to work, more determined than ever.

Maybe love had other plans for me.

Sure I had the upper hand, and Jay wouldn’t dare show his face at the pool after what he’d done, I resumed my routine in my crappy one-piece, not giving a damn about my appearance. In the water I let it all go. I was so single minded when it came to swimming. It was just me and my body and the calming water. In life, I was far less graceful, in the water, I was movement. This I was good at. But unfortunately, it couldn’t pay the bills. Stopping at the edge of the pool after twenty laps, I took large breaths as the burn in my muscles coursed through me.

“Wow, you really are a fish.” I looked up to see Jay directly in front of me. He had on khaki pants and a long sleeved, light blue shirt. I turned away from him, rejecting the greedy slut who didn’t seem to understand the man had humiliated me yesterday. She would just have to get over it. Still, I remained civil.

“Thanks, getting back to it.” I did more laps until I was sure he would get bored and leave. He wasn’t dressed for the pool. I was sure he was there to talk to me, but I didn’t want his apology. The man was a bag of mixed signals already and we hadn’t even had a full-fledged conversation. When I emerged, again I heard, “Are you going to drown yourself just to avoid talking to me?” His voice was pained and that’s when I looked up and gasped. His face was clearly sunburnt. “I’m dying here, fish. Please put me out of my misery.”

I scrambled to get out of the water and he quickly started to apologize. “I’m so sorry. I was exhausted yesterday when I got home from work and I really wanted to hang out with you so I came. I didn’t have your number to...you know, to...reschedule.” I saw him wince as he covered his eyes to shield them from the sun. “I was out here until my roommate came looking for me at midnight. I haven’t slept that hard in years. Please let me make it up to you.”

“Look, it’s cool. It’s not like it was a date or anything,” I offered, seeing the poor guy become more and more battered by the sun.

“It was for me, and I wanted it to be for you, too. I...don’t sleep well. And when I do...God, have you always been this beautiful? Anyway, please give me your number. I would really like another chance.”

He seemed sincere, and because he was incinerating himself for another date, I nodded.

“Thank, Christ. I need you to give me your number quickly so I can make a run for it before I start crying like a bitch in front of you.”

I spouted off my number as he stood, ready to type it in. I chuckled as he dashed for the gate to rid himself of his pain.

“Noxzema or aloe!” I yelled loudly.

“What?” he yelled back.

“It takes out the sting!”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling and then frowning at the pain it caused him as he dashed away.

And he called
me
crazy.