Authors: Morris Gleitzman
The recruiting officer frowned. Gave all four of us the once-over.
Daisy and Jimmy snorted. They could tell the recruiting officer wasn't crazy about them. He didn't seem that keen about me and Dad either.
Jeez, I thought. What if he doesn't take us?
I'd been keeping that worry buried for days on the ride to Sydney. But it was out now. The shameful life ahead for us if me and Dad didn't do our bit. Me dying a lonely old bachelor with no wife and kids. Not even knowing what a girl's skin feels like. Dad getting spat on in the pub and probably no more work.
âThey're both good horses,' said Dad to the officer. âWalers. Faster than they look.'
I was glad he said that. Honest truth was they didn't look that nimble. Jimmy was getting on. Daisy was beautiful with her white face and feet, but she was a bit of a crook shape.
âSafest feet in the district,' I said to the officer, which was a bit rich given Daisy's personality, but the officer probably wouldn't be talking to people out Cudgegong way.
âShow me,' said the officer.
The army camp had some jumps set up. Pretty tough ones. Barbed wire. Ditches full of mud. Not ordinary mud, army mud.
Dad went first.
I knew Jimmy'd be right, as long as he didn't get out of breath. He was more your slow and steady horse, Jimmy. Go all day at his own pace.
He was fine. Dad got him through.
Then it was my turn.
âYou can do it, mate,' I murmured into Daisy's ear as we galloped at the first jump. She could be as cantankerous as a sack of chooks if she set her mind to it, so that was my way of saying please.
Daisy was a champ that day. She might have looked a bit rough, but she went over those jumps like an angel. She probably wasn't keen to see my miserable face for the next sixty years if she didn't.
âRight-o,' said the officer when we rode back. âThey're both army property now. You blokes get a medical.'
Me and Dad looked at each other.
Jimmy and Daisy were in. Now it was up to us.
The army doctor was impressed by my private parts, I could tell.
Not just the hair. I could also tell he'd noticed how that region was completely free of all fungal growths.
He didn't have a problem with my teeth either, or my feet, or my eyes.
Just my chest.
âBreath in again,' he said.
I did, sticking my chest out like a scrub turkey with a mozzie bothering it.
âJust under the regulation minimum,' said the army doctor, looking at his tape measure.
I knew what that meant. Too skinny.
âBest of three,' I said to him, holding my arm out for an arm-wrestle.
The doctor didn't take up the offer. But he sort of smiled to himself.
âYou've got the height,' he said. âCouple of army feeds'll fill you out.'
He stamped my form.
âYou're in,' he said. âWelcome to the glorious crusade of the honourable and righteous against the dark pernicious forces of evil.'
âThanks,' I said.
âDon't thank me,' he said. âNot till you've been there and come back with everything still attached.'
Dad was in like Flinders fence-posts too. His back was good that day.
We took our forms to the recruiting officer so he could sign us up and arrange for the army to buy Jimmy and Daisy.
âAges?' said the officer, checking the forms.
Me and Dad looked at each other. This was what we'd been worried about.
âAges of the horses,' said the officer.
âDaisy's six,' I said, relieved. âJimmy's twelve.'
Soon as I said it I knew I shouldn't have.
âArmy doesn't take horses over ten,' said the officer.
âWe're a team,' said Dad. âAll or nothing.'
The officer thought about this. I hoped he could see Dad was a bloke who meant what he said.
âCome on,' said an impatient voice in the queue behind us. âThe Huns and Turks'll get sick of waiting and pack it in.'
The officer sucked his teeth.
âTwelve's close enough for a good mount,' he said, writing something on the form.
He gave me another hard look.
âWhen were you born?' he said.
âEighteen ninety-eight,' I said. âMay.'
That was the date I'd worked out would make me the official army age.
âBest subject at school,' said the officer, looking me in the eye, âclearly not arithmetic. It's nineteen fifteen now. The correct number of years ago would have been eighteen ninety-seven.'
âThat's what Frank meant,' said Dad. âEighteen ninety-seven.'
The officer looked at us both.
âHey, you lot,' said the voice behind us. âWhen you've finished your Country Women's Association meeting, we're getting old and dying back here.'
The officer signed Dad's form. He didn't sign mine. Just folded it and stuck it into my hand.
âGo to the end of the queue,' he said. âIf we're as slow as that whingeing blighter reckons, when you make it back here you'll be a year older.'
âHow do you spell pharmacy?' I said to Dad.
âSearch me,' said Dad.
He was lying on his army bed, staring at the roof of the tent. He'd been doing it most nights since training started. Probably thinking about Mum. Worrying about what she'd think of us being in the military.
Lucky it was a big tent. About ten other blokes in there. One of them helped out with the spelling.
âTa,' I said.
Blokes of all types in the army. Even smart martins who'd been to university.
âWhat you writing?' said Dad.
I explained it was a letter to Joan. Letting her know what I was up to. We hadn't said goodbye to many people, Dad hadn't wanted to.
âI'm sending it care of the pharmacy,' I said. âThat way she might get it before her mother sees it.'
âGood thinking,' said Dad.
He went quiet again. I could see he was back thinking about Mum.
I got up from my bed and went over to him.
âShe'd understand,' I said. âIf she'd seen that feather she would.'
Dad didn't say anything for a bit. When he did, his voice was quiet.
âShe does understand,' he said. âI've talked to her about it.'
I stared at him. I'd had natters with Mum myself a couple of times, in dreams. All she'd wanted to talk about was keeping the birds off her veggie patch.
âWhat did she say?' I asked Dad.
âPrivate stuff,' he said. âBut one thing she wants me to tell you. She loves you, but she doesn't want to see you for a very long time.'
I thought about that.
âRight-o,' I said.
Poor Mum, she didn't have to worry. I wasn't planning on making a visit any time soon. What I was planning was a life with Joan.
A very long life.
Top clobber they gave you in the Light Horse.
Boots, hat with a feather, the lot. And the kit, quality stuff. Rifle, bayonet, even spare shoes for Daisy and Jimmy.
Training was tough. For Daisy and Jimmy too. Lot of standing around for them while we did shooting practice. Army reckoned we had to get them used to the sound of gunfire, and we only had two months to do it.
Daisy wasn't amused.
âWho broke this ammo box?' said the gunnery sergeant angrily.
I gave Daisy a look. That's all I needed, her being sent home for treading on army property.
Luckily the sergeant let it go, and as it turned out I was pretty alright at the shooting side of things.
âCheeky blighter,' said Dad, peering at my target.
The targets were sheets of roofing tin with blokes painted on them. I'd got six hits, Dad had only got three.
âMother's son, you are,' muttered Dad.
Mum was a crack shot. She used to win heaps of dolls at fairs. Not to mention keep the birds off the veggie garden, permanent.
The bloke next to me and Dad, he knew how to handle a gun too. Ten shots on target, all in the head. He was a few years older than me and dead-set full of himself.
âToo easy,' he said. âBe better with moving targets. Army should ship some Turk prisoners back.'
Me and Dad swapped a glance. The bloke's name was Johnson. Angry eyes, black moustache. Looked like the sort of bloke who'd flatten the umpire with his bat if he was given out.
âBush pigs'd do,' said Johnson. âThey look like Turks.'
I ignored him. Concentrated on squinting down the barrel, squeezing the trigger gently like Mum taught me.
âLetter for you,' said Dad a few weeks later.
He pointed to the envelope on my bed. Gave me a wink.
I was tuckered out after a long day on the training field, but I ripped that envelope open in record time.
It was from Joan.
Dear Frank
I was sad we didn't get to say goodbye. But I think I understand.
This is just to say good luck over there. Look after yourself. Specially your feet and armpits and the rest.
When you get there, home will probably seem a long way away. But we're thinking of you all and we're proud of you all.
Your friend,
Joan.
ps. Say g'day to your dad and Daisy for me.
There was something else inside the envelope. I fished it out.
A cough lozenge.
I must have been grinning like a goanna. Dad gave me another wink. Some of the other blokes in our tent were chuckling.
I wasn't embarrassed. Or tuckered out any more. If you'd shown me fifty Turks, I'd have taken them on single-handed.
Big parade the day before we sailed.
Right through the middle of Sydney. Huge crowds. Felt good, up there on Daisy, complete strangers waving like they loved us.
But then I started thinking. Some of them, when they weren't carrying on like grandparents leaving to go back to Ireland, were probably sending white feathers to blokes who didn't deserve it.
I had a quick squiz at Dad next to me.
He and Jimmy looked like they were enjoying it heaps.
Two women were throwing flowers, great handfuls of them. Must have worked in a flower shop. Or an undertaker's joint.
I gave them a wave.
And froze.
Behind them, face shaded by a hat, was Mum.
Of course it wasn't her, but it was her dead-set double.
Dad saw her too. He was twisted round in the saddle, looking at her, drinking her in, when it happened. Jimmy stepped on a bunch of flowers, his foot slid and I saw a tendon go in his leg.
Dad felt it.
âOh no, mate,' Dad said to Jimmy. âThat was my fault.'
Poor Jimmy was limping.
I leant over and gave him a rub. On the way to the docks I said a prayer, which I usually only did in two-up.
Please, I said silently. Make it a quick recovery, no officers involved.
Officers got involved.
Wouldn't let Jimmy on the boat.
âFair go,' I said. âHe's a volunteer, like the rest of us.'
A sergeant yelled at me for mouthing off.
âSimple pulled tendon,' said Dad. âBe right before you know it. Ask any of these blokes.'
The blokes around us all nodded. The sergeant threatened to put us all on a charge.
One of the regiment vets examined Jimmy.
âThree months before this one's right,' he said to the quartermaster. âUnfit for military duty. Sorry, trooper.'
For a sec I thought Dad was going to fight them all. But the vet took Dad aside and had a quiet word to him. When he'd finished, Dad had calmed down.
I wasn't calm. I'd heard what could happen. In the army, if a horse was unfit, they got rid of it. What was Dad gunna do?
What he did was save Jimmy's life.
He requested compassionate leave. Four hours.
The sergeant glared at Dad. But requests like that had to be passed on to the commanding officer, army rules.
Word came back.
Granted.
It was hard, saying goodbye to Jimmy. I knew it'd be even harder for Dad.
âOo-roo, Jimmy,' I said. âSee you down the track, mate.'
I could tell how upset Jimmy was. He and Daisy blew air on each other for a bit, then Jimmy gave some ship's stores on the dock a good hosing. A little something for the army to remember him by.
Dad took Jimmy to the railway station. Used all the money the army paid him for Daisy. Sent Jimmy up to a mate's property near Walgett.
That's the sort of bloke Dad was. If a horse does the right thing by you, he reckoned, you do the right thing by them.
âMy mate Boney does a bit of horse-breeding,' said Dad when he got back from the station. âJimmy might get lucky.'
We all grinned, but I could see how cut up Dad was.
Why didn't I offer him Daisy and put in for a new horse myself in Egypt?
Dad wouldn't have come at it. A bloke's horse is his horse. Plus he knew what a handful Daisy could be if it wasn't me on her.
After we boarded the ship, the sergeant, who was impressed by what Dad had done, bought him a beer.
âDon't fret, mate,' he said to Dad. âPlenty of horseflesh where we're going. Quite a lot of it still on four legs.'
Dad managed a chuckle. Which was a pretty impressive effort, considering.
Later, as we unpacked our kit for our first night on board, there was something nagging at me.
âWhat did that army vet say to you? I asked Dad. âHe calmed you down a treat.'
Dad looked like the question had caught him off balance.
âCan't say,' he replied. âOfficial Secrets Act.'
I wasn't sure if he was joking.
âI can keep a secret,' I said.
âNothing to write home about,' said Dad. âVet just reminded me that this war's bigger than one bloke and one horse.'
I knew Dad had never told me anything except the truth my whole life.
But there was something in his voice that made me wonder if this might be a first.
I wasn't sure whether to push it or not.
âRighty-o,' said Dad. âYoung legs, top bunk. Night, Frank.'
âNight, Dad.'
I let it go.
Had other things to think about. Joan, for a start. And wondering what it would look like when a bullet hit a bloke who wasn't made of tin.