Luke (A Redemption Romance #1) (5 page)

“I’m glad you did.” The words were out of my mouth before I realized it and it took every bit of self-restraint to hold my hand down at my side and not allow it to reach up and cover my wayward mouth. That cocky grin grew even bigger and I could see the twinkle of satisfaction in his eyes.

“What do you want to do?” He asked. “Do you have anything you need accomplish, anything I can help with? Or do you want to just relax?”

“I need to log into the store, Amber has been taking all the hours the past few days, but I need to check sales and inventory. Do you have to work tonight?”

“No, I took leave; I’m off until Monday unless something goes down.” He took leave? I was happy to hear it because I didn’t want him to go and yet that feeling of regret for making him feel like he had to be here with me all the time crept in again.

“You didn’t have to do that. I’m okay, Luke.”

“I know you are, I needed the time. I can’t work with my focus gone. I needed time to get my head straight before I could be on the street.” Well, that explanation made sense. It told me that he wasn’t only a good and dedicated officer, but a smart one too. He wasn’t willing to allow his personal life to affect his work.

Luke

I’d walked Rory to her bedroom door, kissed her and let her go in alone. I laid in my bed for at least an hour just wondering what she was doing in there. The desire to follow her inside, lay her sweet, supple body out on the bed and feast on her warm willing flesh for hours had been strong, but I’d fought it, knowing it wasn’t the right time – yet.

I started to imagine that she was as turned on by our kisses as I was. I wondered if she might play with her pussy and think of me. All I wanted to do at that moment was to get up out of this bed and climb into hers. I wouldn’t do that; neither of us were in the right place for that right now, I had to keep reminding myself. I actually felt pretty shitty about fantasizing about, her right now, but I’d craved her so-fucking-long, it was all I ever thought about.

Things with Rory were too important to fuck up by pushing her. Both of us needed comfort, but the last thing I wanted was to push her into sex and have her regret, it then cut me out of her life. I’d wanted her for far too long to risk ruining it now, when I had her right where I wanted her, well almost where I wanted her.

Remembering how I’d run my hands through that long silky red hair earlier, I lifted my hand and smelled the remnants of her. Her hair, all of her really, had the best scent; it was light, sweet and provocative. As sick and creepy as it was, I sniffed my hand a couple of more times and felt my dick get painfully hard with just the lingering smell of her.

My other hand moved under the sheets, slid underneath the elastic of my boxer briefs and started to tug on my incredibly hard shaft. I could see Rory in my mind, her hair fanned out over my pillow as I slid into her sweet body. Her firm breasts would be held in her hands, as an offering for my mouth. I could almost smell her arousal as I imagined what it would feel like to lick between the swollen wet folds of her pussy. I needed to know what she would taste like when she came.

Thanks to hours of practice at the shooting range, my hand was rough and calloused. I reached over to the nightstand to grab the lotion Rory kept there for guests. She was so thoughtful, to offer me her sweet scented lotion to rub all over my dick. I squirted a generous amount onto my palm and used it to ease myself into a blissful fantasy.

The smell of Aurora’s lotion, the scent of her hair on my hand, helped me get into the perfect mindset. I imagined her hot wet mouth moving up and down over my dick as I pulled and tugged on myself. I used my other hand, the one that still smelled like Rory’s hair, to reach down and rub over the tight skin of my balls. I thought about what her tongue would feel like if she popped my dick from the heat of her mouth and licked and sucked my balls.

As my balls drew up and my spine tingled, I knew that I was about to cum. My dick swelled even thicker, but I didn’t want to cum all over her sheets, so I grabbed the dirty T-shirt off the floor and covered the head of my dick as I pumped myself faster and faster. Just as I started to spurt, I moaned out her name.

Fuck! I really hoped that wasn’t loud
, I thought to myself, wondering what she’d think if she heard me in here. Would it turn her on or make her disgusted with me?

As I stroked slowly, bringing myself down from that epic climax, I imagined the sexy curve of her shoulder, her amazing legs and her breasts. I pictured every part of her that I could think of, just as I always did.

My entire body relaxed, I had really needed that, but what I truly wanted was her, not my damn hand. This would have to be enough for now. If I kept spending this much time with her, I was sure the skin of my dick would become raw from all the friction of my hand. She’d probably notice how much lotion I used and wonder what the hell I was doing with it.

Sated, for the moment, my mind relaxed too, I was able to push the image of my friend - head half gone, body slumped in death, his blood and brain matter splattered all over the wall, out of my head and fall into a deep sleep.

Fuck, it was so hot - scorching us out here. The Humvee we were all piled into didn’t have air conditioning of course. This was the fucking Marine Corps, so obviously, that wasn’t a priority. I looked over at Trent; the bastard was driving, shades covering his laughing green eyes as he scanned the terrain. The desert was mostly sparse where we were, the odd abandoned vehicle was scattered here and there, always requiring extra attention. This area was supposed to be clear, but we never trusted that intel.

The enemy could be hiding anywhere. Doing our best to stay positive, and to keep our spirits up, Gavin was telling us a story about a set of twins he’d supposedly hooked up with when he’d been in France a few months back. His story was raunchy and most likely a total lie, but with Gavin, who knew!

The high pitched whir cutting through the air caught my attention just as we rounded a turn. “Watch out!” I yelled. I couldn’t tell who was out there, we didn’t have intelligence on this area, but there was always someone ready to take us out. The entire vehicle shook as we were hit. I grabbed the radio to call in our location, pulled it out with me as we all scrambled and took up defensive positions.

There was a small outcropping of rocks just to the west of us, I saw Gavin get safely behind them, and Trent followed close behind. Reed moved to the front of the vehicle, watching for combatants, gun up and ready, covering everyone’s dash to cover. Nolan moved quickly around the back of the vehicle, he was the most exposed, Dylan running right in front of him. The RPG seemed to have come from the north east. The Humvee was near enough to the rocks that we’d hopefully be able to get into position quickly.

Calling in our coordinates, I was relaying the situation when I heard rapid gunfire coming from the same direction the RPG had come from. There was an old abandoned van about fifty yards away and an old burned-out shed twenty yards beyond that.

Reed had zeroed in on the shooters and was returning fire, his sniper skills coming in handy as I heard him count quietly to himself. He always counted when he killed someone. I knew it weighed heavily on him, each life, no matter how evil, meant something to him.

I watched as Dylan rounded the corner of the vehicle, to relative safety, then as Nolan followed, I saw the bullets rip through his flesh from my position at the side of the rocks.

I screamed into the radio, and dropped it as my best friend fell and did his best to crawl the rest of the way. Racing toward him, several of us tried to get to Nolan, to pull him to safety. Dylan got there before the rest of us. He bent down to pick Nolan up and hoist him to the rock outcropping as he was pierced with round after round, his body jolting with each hit before dropping to the ground. Blood splattered, spraying all over Nolan’s back and Jake’s face as he caught Dylan’s lifeless body before it hit the ground. Getting to them, too late, I pulled up and over my shoulder, running balls to the wall to get us both to cover.

Trent and Gavin were returning fire with the assholes who’d killed Dylan and shot Nolan, once we’d settled both men, I worked on Nolan’s leg, trying to staunch the bleeding, as Jake took position and started shooting as well. Thankfully, the three of them were able to keep the enemy occupied, as Reed finally made it behind the large boulders, they were a hell of a lot safer. It seemed to take forever, but I knew it was only a matter of minutes, before the shooting stopped. Of course once the threat had been eliminated the cavalry showed to save our sorry asses, now down one hell of a man.

Waking in a cold sweat, the nightmare lingered in my mind. I hadn’t had a nightmare about that day in a couple of years, not until Nolan’s suicide. Since Monday, I’d had one each night. I needed Aurora right now, I wanted her comfort and her scent to wrap me up, but I knew that not only would I not be welcome in her bed, I was also in no state to go to her. She had enough to deal with and her reluctance to start something with me, or her unwillingness to believe what I felt for her, had me seriously concerned for any future between us.

I spent a long time thinking about her, it soothed something in me; even if I couldn’t hold her right now, I was secure in the knowledge that she was just down the hall.

Sure, I’d known Rory forever, but that didn’t mean that we knew each other on a personal, more intimate level. I had no idea how she’d handle the stresses of my job. I would constantly have to change plans with her, or cancel at the last minute; would she get angry? How she’d deal with my nightmares, or my constant need to make sure she was safe; would it drive her crazy, just like it had with every other girl I tried to date? I didn’t seem able to commit for a long period of time to anyone.

I’d seen her with guys before - I hated it - but knew that I hadn’t been in a position to claim her for my own, not yet. They were generally good guys, but I could see that she kept them at arm’s length emotionally. I even saw the frustration on their faces from time to time, when she would act so casually with them, like it really didn’t matter to her if they were still around or not. If she did that with me, I knew it would kill me.

Nolan had told me once, that after their dad’s death, when she was so young, she witnessed her mother’s emotional breakdown and started to shut herself off. We were already off to parts unknown by then, Nolan got leave and came home for the service, but he only stayed a week. He told me a few months ago that Aurora seemed to pull back into herself even more when their mom died. I could only imagine what would happen now that Nolan had left her, too.

Sure, her parents hadn’t left her voluntarily, but Nolan had. If he had been right, if Aurora pulled into herself beginning with her dad’s death, I could only imagine that it was to keep the pain at a distance. I wasn’t sure if she was afraid of feeling the same pain again, or if she was afraid of what her own mother had suffered, at the loss of such a great husband. Either way, now that Nolan was gone and with the dangers of my job, I wasn’t sure she’d be willing or even emotionally able to let me in.

One thing I vowed to myself, was that I wouldn’t be some pathetic fucker who chased a woman who didn’t want him. I would do all I could over the next week or so, then see where we were at. Hopefully by then, she would show some interest in being with me, more than physically. Yes, of course, I wanted to fuck her, but it was Rory, I wanted so much more than that.

Aurora

Friday morning, I woke to the sounds of the coffee grinder and two dogs barking excitedly. Did they think they were getting coffee? I got up and staggered my way in and found Luke making coffee, thank god, and using his foot to push the tennis ball he’d found across the tiled floor for the dogs, who would then chase after it. Rusty always got the ball first, but then dropped it and Sadie picked it up and brought it back to Luke. The scene was such a domestic one, sweet and wonderful. If I’d have one wish, it would be mornings like this every day for the rest of my life.

Luke looked up at me as I walked further into the room and said “good morning, beautiful.” He’d stayed with me the past few nights, still in the guest bedroom. We’d kissed again several times and he’d become even more demonstrative. He had started to hold my hand any time we walked together, wrapped his arm around my shoulders or placed his hand on my thigh when we sat.

Yesterday, we’d gone to his house to grab more clothes, took the dogs to the park to tire them out and I enjoyed watching Luke work on commands with both of them. He was so good with them, firm but gentle too. Even Sadie, who usually only listened to me followed his every instruction. Fortunately, both dogs had been trained similarly, though I could see that Rusty was much more obedient than my willful Sadie.

We’d gone out to eat at Cattleman’s, our favorite local steak place, watched Thursday night football and had a couple of beers with the guys. Being the lightweight I was, the buzz hit me quick. Luke thought it was hysterical when I started to push on the tip of my nose with my finger because I told him that it was numb. Reed and Trent teased me incessantly and pushed shots my way. I only accepted one, thank God!

Luke and I talked all day; enjoyed each other and just spent time getting to know each other as more than friends. We shared stories and pet peeves with each other. Luke told me that he’d always wanted to work for the Dallas PD someday. That he wanted to have kids and threw in that he hoped his daughters would have long red hair. He said the last while twirling the ends of my hair with his finger.

I told him how I’d come up with the idea for my boutique, Indulgence when I was still in college; that I loved fashion and all things pretty, which he pretty much already knew. How I loved to help my friends find just the right look. How that all spiraled into the inception of my store. I told him that I wanted kids too, that I hoped my sons would have dark brown hair. He smiled at that and leaned in to kiss me.

We enjoyed plenty of kisses, some very hot, though neither of us tried to move it along to more intimacy. He held me in his arms when we watched television, made me laugh often and was a constant presence. Each night, I went to my room and Luke went to the guest room alone. With the weight of Nolan’s loss on my heart, I wasn’t able to give into desire fully and I think Luke sensed it. Regardless of our physical restraint, our emotional connection had grown exponentially these past five days.

Today we had to go back to the mortuary and make sure everything was in order. The viewing was scheduled for tonight at six. We had planned to join the guys, Hope, Amber and Luke’s family for an early dinner beforehand.

The funeral was scheduled tomorrow morning at eleven. The restaurant we’d reserved for the catering would deliver food to the McKinney Police Officer’s Association building by noon, plenty of time to set up for the group.

I had several calls to make today to be sure everything was in order. Thankfully, Luke had taken care of everything specific for Nolan, going to my brother’s house to pick out clothes, and making all those arrangements. I knew it would be a difficult couple of days.

Watching Luke, play with the dogs and act so carefree was a great start to what would be a somber day. We shared a quick breakfast of toast, and coffee while the dogs ran around the back yard. Hopefully they would run out their energy, because they’d be stuck in the house for long hours today.

We’d both dressed for the day, Luke looked sexy in dark charcoal flat front trousers with a black dress shirt and black on black tie and me in a black peplum dress with black leather accents on the shoulders and leather ruffle detail around the hem. There was a slim black leather belt that brought it together; I wore four inch black stilettos with a little bows offset at the toe, black stockings, my mother’s pearl necklace and earrings set the look. The jewelry offset the severity of all the black perfectly and was a way to bring my mom along with me today. I had twisted my hair up into a knot at the back nape of my neck and the moment Luke saw me, he frowned.

I looked down for some wrinkle or deodorant stain on my dress, a run in my stockings or even a scuff on the toe of my shoe but nothing was wrong. “What? You don’t like the dress?”

“I love the dress, you look amazing.”

“Then why the frown?” My brows furrowed together as my lips tilted down at the sides.

“Your hair is up.” He was now circling behind me, apparently inspecting my hairdo.

“Yes, I know it is. Why is that a problem?”

“I can’t run my fingers through it. I like to touch it.” He did, he touched it all the time. He ran his fingers through it, played with the ends or twirled it around constantly when we were sitting somewhere together.

A small chuckle escaped my chest just before he leaned in and kissed my glossy red lips. My make-up was light, but I’d gone for a great red lip. I thought it worked with my hair. Of course, when Luke pulled away, I saw that I’d need to reapply because half of the gloss was on his mouth now.

This man was amazing, on one of the most difficult days of my life, I was actually laughing. I grabbed my clutch from the entry table, pulled out the handkerchief that had been my grandmother’s and wiped him off.

Yeah, I know it’s cliché to carry around a hankie, I didn’t do it all the time, but I liked it better than tissues for days like this when I knew I’d cry. They never left lint all over your face when you sopped up the mess you’d made of yourself. Also, it was my gran’s and I had loved her so much as a young girl.

She used to make us the best sugar cookies I ever had. She would put a dollop of homemade strawberry jam right in the center and bake them that way. I wanted her comfort today too.

We made it through the monotony of the day and finally sat down for dinner with everyone. The entire group had agreed to meet before the viewing. I knew that everyone wanted to show their solidarity. We needed the strength of all the others now.

Reed’s hulking six-foot-seven frame was the first one I saw. His piercing blue eyes stood out from his tanned skin. His sandy blonde hair made him look deceptively innocent, like the boy next door: he was anything but. His gaze was sympathetic and understanding. Reed’s dad had committed suicide when he was a kid, I was sure that Nolan’s suicide was weighing especially hard on him now.

Luke’s hand lay possessively across my lower back; which I was sure hadn’t gone unnoticed. I walked out of Luke’s grasp and straight into Reed’s warm, welcoming hug. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and held on tight. His arms came around me and I was encircled in the comfort of a great friend.

Of all the guys, aside from Luke of course, Reed and I were the closest. We actually communicated with each other on social media, and texted a couple of times each week.

Reed worked as a special agent for the ATF; so anytime he was in the area, he would come into the store to visit me. Reed had a special affinity for the Thai place around the corner from Indulgence; I was pretty sure he could eat his weight in chicken satay and honey pork. We’d gone to lunch there dozens of times over the past few years. Regardless of how much time we spent together, there was never even a niggling of flirtation between us.

I heard a strange noise from behind me and looked up to see Reed chuckling. “What was that?” I asked him quietly.

“I think Luke has had enough,” he said cryptically.

“What? He’s had enough of what?” Reed and I were talking quietly so no one else could hear us.

I felt Reed’s body jerk just a little, when I pulled back and looked around I saw Luke standing there scowling at Reed.

“Did he just punch you?” I had a sneaking suspicion that Luke had just jabbed Reed in the side; like I’d seen them do hundreds of times over the years. The boys seemed to love taking cheap shots on each other: they were rather strange. I couldn’t imagine just punching Amber or any women I knew.

Reed smiled and pulled back: “He sure did.”

I whirled to look at Luke and asked snippily: “Why would you do that?”

Before I finished my question, Luke had me plastered firmly against his side again and placed a smacking kiss to my temple. Raising my eyebrow in anticipation of his answer; he finally let out a huff and conceded.

“He hugged you long enough. There is only so much a man can take.” He was speaking quietly into my ear, so as soon as he was finished, he leaned in and kissed my neck just under my earlobe. That was such a sensitive area and it was a spot that denoted intimacy, right there in the restaurant in front of everyone.

“Luke! Oh honey, come here. Aurora! Give me a hug baby, how are you doing?” Luke’s mom walked in behind us, just as he kissed me like that, my lord, what must she be thinking?

“Hi, Mrs. Jackson, thank you for coming.” Luke was definitely good at distracting me. This was most definitely a horrible day and would only get worse as the evening progressed, but he was distracting me so well I could almost forget.

“Oh, of course, sweetheart. You look so pretty tonight. You always do, though, dear. So pretty. I hope Luke is behaving himself and not causing too much trouble.” Her smile was sincere and I had to stifle a laugh at her insinuation that Luke would be causing trouble.

“Thank you, yes, he’s been great. He hasn’t left my side since Monday night.” My heart was heavy with the loss of my brother, but being around all these loving friends eased that pain just enough.

I squeezed the older woman’s hand and stepped back. Luke claimed me once again; grabbing my hand and entwining our fingers together. Mrs. Jackson definitely noticed that; I saw her eyes focus right on our hands and a small smile softened her kind face. All these seemingly intimate gestures gave me comfort, and made me feel protected, but I worried about what message he was sending to his mother. He was always right there, no matter what, he was there to help me, to stand next to me. I could comfort him in just the same way.

Luke kept me close for the rest of the night. Even while we greeted our friends and family. Hugging one of the guys or even Amber, the hugs were one armed, as Luke held onto me. It felt more like support than the caveman-esque gesture, I’d first taken it for. I’d never felt as supported or cherished by anyone I’d ever dated before.

These were extenuating circumstances, but that would often bring out the worst in someone, not the best. Luke hadn’t become frustrated with me once, not even when it took me forty-five minutes to select flowers the other day. I couldn’t decide between Gerbera daisies and lilies. In the end, I’d opted for both. He never got angry or tried to rush me, just stood silently by my side, offering support.

Everyone was seated around the long table, except for Hope, she was apparently running late. In her line of work, that sometimes happened. Sessions with her clients would often run long, causing her to run behind or miss events entirely. She took her work seriously and did her best to help the people who needed her the most.

The table was filled with our friends; Amber and Mrs. Jackson were currently the only other females in attendance. It looked like a very lopsided group. Taking it all in, the love and support surrounding me, I watched as people spoke in low tones, hushed conversations, concerned looks and gentle smiles. This was an amazing group of people, supportive and helpful: anytime.

A tiny flurry of long black hair rushed into the restaurant. Hope’s elfin face was flushed, blue eyes frenzied, and pink bow shaped lips flattened into a thin line. Her hair was loose, sides pulled back away from her face, her clothes were perfect. She wore a beautiful long black pencil skirt, black peep toed heels and a dusky gray silk blouse. All the guys turned their head as she rushed over to our table, spouting apologies for being late.

Hope made her way to the only open chair, sandwiched between Jake and Reed. I noticed Jake’s gaze lingered on her face longer than was polite. He stood from his chair to pull hers out, her surprised smile was wide and genuine. His face softened as he looked into her eyes. Once they were both seated again, Hope thanked him, then began talking about her last appointment that had run over.

Jake tried to remain aloof, but I could see the interest smoldering in his eyes. His broad shoulders encased in a dark gray dress shirt, no tie; looked enormous next to Hope’s little body. Jake was at least six-foot-three, his light blonde hair had a little wave to it and his deep blue eyes were mesmerizing. They made a striking pair; or they could.

I didn’t know if Hope was dating anyone now, she’d been in a relationship several months ago, but I knew they’d broken up. It hadn’t lasted more than a month. The idiot couldn’t handle her close relationship with my brother, he was actually jealous regardless of how many times they both told him that they were just friends. Some men were strange that way. I found out months later that he was the first guy she’d dated since college. She had been in a really bad relationship then and had been worried about jumping back into the dating pool.