LUKE: Complete Series (19 page)

I pulled onto Roosevelt Way across from
Die BierStube
—a German bar we often hit up after a game. The venue was my suggestion even though I’d promised Brina we’d get Chinese food. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to tease her with a German sausage.

I eased the Bugatti into a space next to the curb and killed the engine. She reached for the door handle and I placed my hand on her knee to stop her.

“Wait.”

“What?”

I took a deep breath as I worked up the nerve to say what needed to be said. “When we get in there… I want you to stay next to me.”

Her gorgeous brown eyes turned to slits. “What does that mean? Of course I’m going to stay next to you. I hardly know those guys.”

I didn’t want to tell her that my buddies Charlie and Jim had been checking out her ass the entire game. I had introduced Brina as a colleague from work. It was obvious by the way we joked with each other that there was something more, but horny guys didn’t always take into account those kinds of assumptions. If there were a remote possibility that Brina were single, they’d be all over her once they got a few beers in them. It wasn’t that they were sleazy. They were just single and successful; an explosive concoction when mixed with alcohol and a beautiful woman.

“I mean, please don’t flirt with my friends…. I know I sound like an insecure jerk asking you something like that, but I don’t think I could handle seeing it. You’re just they’re type, especially Charlie, and I really don’t want to have to clock any of my friends tonight.”

She narrowed her eyes even more as a slow smile formed on her luscious lips. “You realize that’s cheating? You’re not supposed to tell your friends who they can and can’t flirt with.”

I gritted my teeth as I anticipated her response. I didn’t know what I’d do if she refused.

She patted my knee as she reached once more for the door handle. “It’s cheating, but I think the ref will allow it.”

I let out a deep sigh of relief as I climbed out of the car. I jammed my hands into the pockets of my jeans to keep myself from reaching for her hand as we crossed the street. I opened the door for her and pretended not to notice her smirk as we entered the bar. The hostess wore a tight T-shirt that accentuated her large breasts and tiny waist, but she had nothing on Brina in her grass-stained jeans and oversized jersey. This was going to be a very long thirty days.

The hostess invited us to sit wherever we’d like and we quickly found the long table where three of my oldest buddies were seated. I had never been more nervous about hanging out with my friends and a date. Of course, Brina wasn’t really my date. That’s what made me so nervous. I’d have to be on my guard all fucking night to keep these hounds off of her.

I couldn’t really tell them the true nature of my relationship with Brina. They’d laugh at the idea of our thirty-day friendship experiment or they’d purposely try to fuck it up. They could be bastards sometimes.

“What’s up, loser?” Charlie said, as we took a seat at the table.

“Nothing much, fuck-face,” I replied.

Brina sat across from me, next to Jim, and I sat next to Enrique and Charlie.

“Luke, not in front of the lady,” Jim said, nodding toward Brina.

She rolled her eyes. “I can out-curse Luke any day,” she said, as the waitress showed up with five steins of beer.

Jim raised his eyebrows looking impressed as he distributed the glasses around the table. “Well, then, I guess you’ll have no problem keeping up with us tonight,” he said, as he pushed the enormous glass of beer in front of Brina.

Brina stared wide-eyed at the stein, which was almost as wide as her head and so tall the rim nearly hit her nose.

“You don’t have to drink all of it,” I said.

“Where are your manners, Luke. At least get the girl something to eat before you attempt to drown her in booze,” Charlie chimed in.

Charlie had been my best friend since grade school. He used to sneak me in through his bedroom window sometimes when I was homeless and I couldn’t find a public restroom to escape the relentless Seattle rain. He had a good heart, but he was a lawyer now and the guy knew how to make his case with the ladies. Of all the guys seated at this table, he was the one that made me the most nervous.

Charlie liked to cut to the chase. He’d been married and divorced twice and he was only twenty-nine. Both of his ex-wives could have passed for Playboy models. Brina was definitely his type.

I hadn’t told him anything about Brina yet because our relationship had started and ended so quickly six weeks ago. As far as he knew, Brina really
was
just a friendly colleague and, therefore, fair game. If I told him about my arrangement with Brina he’d tell me to stop hesitating and dive in headfirst. But I didn’t want to rush things with Brina. She was the kind of girl I could see myself marrying and I didn’t want to jeopardize that just to satisfy this intense sexual craving. There was more to our relationship than that and I was determined to prove it.

I stared at her from across the table and she stared right back at me as if she knew what I was thinking.
Fuck
. This was going to be hard.

Two hours later, Brina had tossed back one and a half steins and politely refused the brat Charlie had ordered for her. Considering she was pretty plastered, I was impressed with how well she was handling herself.

“I think it’s time to cut you off,” I said, after she accidentally knocked over a Jägermeister shooter.

She plucked a bunch of napkins off the table and attempted to mop up the liquid, but she only managed to make a sloppy mess all over the wooden surface.

“I’m fine,” she slurred, though her features were slack and the whites of her eyes were pink.

She still had to drive home from my house and it was only five o’clock.

“You’re not fine. You need to rest.”

Charlie clinked his stein against the stein sitting on the table in front of Brina. “She’s fine. Lets get her another Jäger shot.”

“Fuck off, man.” I didn’t want to fight Charlie, but I wouldn’t hesitate to clock him if he didn’t back off. I set a couple of hundred-dollar bills on the table and slipped my wallet back into my back pocket. “Come on, Brina.”

“I’m not ready to go,” she whined. “I’m having fun with Enrique.” She turned to Enrique, who was the most quiet of all of us, and he appeared somewhat frightened by the attention. “What happened to you on that trip to Arizona?”

Enrique glanced at me questioningly and I knew it was time for some tough love.

“Come on, Brina,” I said, as I stood up and rounded the table toward her. “Tomorrow’s Sunday and I’m sure you have to go to church and confess.”

“I don’t go to church,” she explained. “Please, I don’t want to go.”

I placed my hands on her waist and lifted her up off the seat. “It’s time to go.”

I slid my arm around her waist and helped her up.

“Sorry, guys,” she slurred. “I guess I’m being kidnapped. Pray for me.”

Logically, I knew she wasn’t trying to flirt, but the testosterone-fueled side of me couldn’t help but clench my fists when I saw Charlie eyeballing her as she slid out of her chair. I could feel my nostrils flaring and I took a deep breath to calm myself. I had to remember not to bring her around my friends for the next thirty days.

I grabbed her arm and nodded at my buddies before I guided her toward the bar entrance. The hostess flashed me a coy smile as I passed her and I gave her a friendly nod. I had to get the hell out of here. Taking Brina out was like walking through a minefield. We had to stick to safe places from here on out.

A half-hour later, I opened the front door and Brina stumbled into my foyer.

“I love your house!” she said, way louder than necessary. “It’s soooooooo high tech.”

I locked the door and set the alarm. It was only five thirty, so it was still light outside, but there was no way I was letting her drive home tonight.

“Come on,” I said, slipping my arm around her waist to keep her from falling over. “You can sleep it off in my bed.”

She stepped in front of me and clumsily reached for my face. “I want to do it.”

“Yeah... As tempting an offer as that is, I’m going to have to pass on seducing the drunk girl.”

Her hand slid down my chest and landed on my crotch. I pulled her hand away instantly before she could feel me getting hard.

“Whoa, there. You need some rest.” I dragged her by the arm toward the bedroom.

“I want to have sex,” she pouted. “Don’t you want me? Don’t you love me?”

I sat her on the bed and knelt on the floor to take off her sneakers.

There was no use reasoning with a drunk person, but a small part of me wondered just how drunk she
really
was. I tossed her shoes aside and lifted her legs onto the bed. She lay down and I yanked the comforter out from underneath her before I pulled it up to her chin.

“Don’t leave me,” she pleaded. “Please, just lay next to me. Please don’t leave.”

She lay on her side and closed her eyes. I knew I could probably just leave her there and she’d fall asleep, never knowing whether I’d stayed with her. But I had to make sure she didn’t sleep on her back and I just couldn’t resist.

I kicked off my shoes and slid in behind her. She immediately turned around to face me and I flinched at the sweet smell of the Jäger on her breath. She wrapped her arm around my waist, awkwardly nestled her head into the crook of my neck, and that was it. I lay back so she could properly use my chest as a pillow.

Yes, I do love you. More than anything.

3: BRINA

I woke with a serious case of cottonmouth and a headache the size of Seattle, but the scent of Luke’s T-shirt grounded me and I quickly remembered where I was and what had happened. Luke’s bedroom was still a hazy black so it was either very late in the evening or very early in the morning. His chest moved slowly up and down underneath my cheek and I knew he had to be asleep. I lifted my head slowly, not wanting to wake him. I needed water badly. I was almost completely off his chest when his arm tightened around my shoulders and my head pounded as it fell back onto his solid chest.

“Where are you going? It’s five-forty a.m.”

His voice was gruff and thick with sleep and I found it so very sexy.

“I’m thirsty,” I whispered.

He shifted sideways and slid out from underneath me. “Stay right here. I’ll get you some water.”

Through the darkness, I could see he was still wearing his T-shirt and jeans and a spark of shame worsened my headache as I suddenly remembered begging him to lie with me. I wanted to get up and leave, but he told me to stay put. I desperately needed a shower. I was lying in Luke’s clean, expensive sheets wearing yesterday’s makeup, my grass-stained jeans, and Jill’s sweaty jersey.

Luke returned with a glass of water in one hand and his other hand balled up in a fist. He handed me the glass then held out some pills in his other hand. This would be a great opportunity to make a joke about date rape drugs, but it was bad timing.

“Thanks,” I said, as I took the pills from his hand and gulped them down with the entire glass of water.

He sat next to me on the edge of the bed and the mattress sunk down pulling me toward him. I wanted to slip my hands under his shirt and caress the smooth skin on his back, but I kept my fingers locked around the glass to stop myself. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and he looked like a man with the weight of the universe pressing down on his shoulders.

I set the glass on the nightstand and sat up on my knees behind him. “Luke there’s something I need to say... as your friend, and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way because it needs to be said.”

“Do your worst. Nothing you can say could possibly be worse than
as your friend
.”

“Very funny.” I took a deep breath and continued. “You need to visit your dad.”

His silence told me I had chipped away a small chunk of whatever was weighing heavy on him.

I shivered as I anticipated my next sentence. “Luke, he’s sick. You’re going to regret not going if....” I tried to push aside the tidal force wave of regret that I’d been drowning in for eight months. I couldn’t say it. “You have to go.”

He turned his head so I could at least see the side of his face. “It’s just so much more complicated than that.”

“Six weeks ago you promised me you’d go. What’s changed?”
Other than everything between us.

“I’m just not in the mood to be rejected again.”

I didn’t know if he was implying that he felt rejected by me because this timeout thing was
his
idea. I stuffed my hands between my thighs to keep myself from touching him because that wasn’t what he needed. I knew what he needed and it terrified me.

My mind drew back to the first time I visited the Golden Gate Bridge after Ryan’s death. My clothes disheveled, my makeup smeared, eyes swollen. As I walked the length of the bridge, I kept expecting someone to realize why I was there, but all I got was a few looks of pity and disgust—until I saw him. A tiny Asian man, his hair being tossed every which way by the bitter November breeze. He gazed at me in wonderment as we approached each other. When he was just a few feet away eyes crinkled and his lips curled in the most honest smile I’d ever seen.

Every day, for six days, I went back to the bridge hoping to work up the courage to jump. I wanted so desperately to know if Ryan had found peace on the way down because I knew that I would never find peace without him. Every day, I passed the same man and every day he smiled at me.

“I’ll go with you,” I barely whispered, my promise strangled by the painful lump in my throat.

“What?”

I shoved his side. “Look at me.” He turned his head slightly and I shoved him again. “Turn around and look me in the eye.” I could feel a tremble building in my chest and I knew if I didn’t do this now I would lose my nerve.

He turned his body and, through the vague silver light shining through the windows I could see the severe look in his eyes.