Lulu in Honolulu (8 page)

LULU

I'm gonna see if there's anything I can do to help!

Lulu bolts out the door.

MAXWELL

(to Alexis)

As much as I'd love your beautiful company, I think you better grab your sister before she's found on the set. Unless, of course, you want to see Queen Fiona do that “off with her head” thing to your sister.

Alexis flips her silky hair in Maxwell's direction.

ALEXIS

(standing up)

If I didn't think my head would roll too, I'd hang out all day.

Alexis races out the door.

Maxwell calls after her.

MAXWELL

Hilarious Hula
was smashing, Lex. If
Seas the Day
folds, Linc and Fiona should switch from action films to comedy.

INT. DIAMOND HEAD STUDIO, MAIN SOUND STAGE—CONTINUOUS

The ginormous dark space is large enough to park a couple of 747 airplanes. It's cool inside, thanks to huge air conditioners blasting freezing air.

Lulu bounds through darkness toward tall directors' chairs placed behind a row of movie cameras on wheels. Every few feet she trips on cords and cables. Then she bumps into the catering table.

CATERING ASSISTANT

Vegan or non?

LULU

What?

CATERING ASSISTANT

Are you vegan or non-vegan? We've got two different catering areas depending on which way you eat. This is the non-vegan table.

LULU

Mahalo
for asking. I'm definitely non-vegan. But I'm just looking for…

Alexis comes up behind Lulu and grabs her arm.

ALEXIS

(whispering)

Listen, if you want to see another sunset over the Pacific Ocean, I suggest we get out of here before anyone knows we're alive.

LULU

(soft, thoughtful tone)

Hey, Lex, I'm glad we're in this together.

Alexis releases Lulu's shoulder.

Alexis yanks a bunch of her silk-like hair, something she does when she's thinking.

ALEXIS

I'm trying to get us out of it together. We've got to lie low for a while and let Mom and Dad work.

LULU

(loud whispers)

But maybe we can help, just like Mom and Dad did for me and my friends.

ALEXIS

Look, I don't want to get in mega trouble or, worse, sent back to L.A. I've got more bikini shopping to do! And, Maxwell's really cu…

A tall, slim, but muscular man in a perfectly clean, pressed naval officer's uniform strides up to the girls. He shines a flashlight in their eyes.

NAVAL OFFICER

(deep voice)

Quiet on the set!

Alexis shakes with fright.

LULU

Yes, sir.

(then, focusing her eyes on the Officer)

DAAAAD?

Linc flashes a wide grin. He looks great in his costume. He gives them both sharp salutes.

ALEXIS

You look so totes cool!

LINC

Like a guy who's gonna save America?

Heels can be heard clicking closer.

LULU

Geez peas! You look like someone who could save the WHOLE world!

FIONA

(furious, frosty tone)

How about you start by saving this movie from being shut down?

LINC

(looking from Lulu to Alexis)

And that would be your mother.

Linc gives the girls a nervous “we're in for it now” smile.

LINC

Too bad we don't have the real United States military to come save us right now.

Fiona points a long, thin finger at Linc.

FIONA

(stares coldly at him)

Where are you going in costume?

LINC

(grinning)

Just catching some bad guys who entered our territory illegally.

Linc winks at Lulu.

FIONA

(icy, scary voice)

Alexis and Lulu. I don't know why you're on my set. But since you are, I can tell you myself that summer vacation is CANCELED. Dinners together are OFF.

ALEXIS

Got it, Fiona.

FIONA

Linc and I will now be working twenty-four/seven.

LULU

Mom, how about me and Lex and my friends help on the movie? We could carry stuff and be extras and anything you need to save some money and—

Fiona spins around to examine Lulu. Her ALOHA cap is smashed over her hair. Her battered tote bag is slung over her mango-stained SURF KAUAI T-shirt, and her white SPF undergarments shine in the dark. She hardly looks like someone who'd work on a movie, unless, of course, she were the actress dressed in costume to play an eleven-year-old character who survived a shipwreck and floated to Hawaii on a rubber raft.

FIONA

Look, my focus has bounced around all summer, and now I've got this movie hanging from a string.

(pause while she mindlessly tugs at her gold watch)

I could run out of money before I can shoot the final big military landing.

LULU

Mom, it's my fault.

FIONA

(voice softens)

Lulu, darling, what are you even talking about?

Alexis jumps in.

ALEXIS

It's my fault too.

Fiona looks from Alexis to Lulu while she clicks her clean, perfect nails polished in OPI's gel color called Samoan Sand.

FIONA

It's all our faults.

Fiona gives each girl a quick hug.

FIONA

Now understand.

(pauses)

This…

(waves her hands around)

…is a movie. A job. A business. It is NOT summer vacation.

Fiona strides back toward her director's chair and the five people hovering around it waiting to ask her questions.

FIONA

(without turning around or slowing her walk)

And, Lincoln Harrison, BACK TO WORK!

CUT!! I can't let this moment pass without telling you that right now, everything I've eaten all day is gushing and sloshing around. My belly feels like a washing machine on the fastest spin cycle. My perfect family summer just ended. Except, I can't stop wondering if there's anything I can do. There's got to be plenty of work to do for the movie. And a family supports each other—through thick and thin. OK, back to: ACTION!!

INT. ALEXIS'S VOLKSWAGEN BUG—THURSDAY AFTERNOON

Lulu is squished into the backseat of Alexis's beloved car. Watson's head hangs out the window, and Lulu holds tightly to his leash.

Even though Alexis goes to the beach every day, there's not a spec of sand in her car. And even though Alexis doesn't surf, there's a surfboard rack on the car's roof.

Lulu munches taro chips from a cut-down pillowcase. Alexis sings along with Katy Perry playing off her iPhone through her car speakers.

ALEXIS

(glances at Lulu in the rearview mirror)

I better not find a greasy shred of chip in my car.

Lulu grabs out a handful of oily chips and reaches toward Alexis.

LULU

(mouth munching)

Wanna try my homemade taro chips? They taste a lot like corn chips.

Alexis turns down the music.

ALEXIS

Maybe you didn't hear
moi
? I don't want you eating it in my car!

LULU

Geez peas, Lex. This isn't supposed to be a car ride anyway. It's Watson's walk!

Lulu catches Alexis's eye in the rearview mirror and they both laugh.

ALEXIS

OK. I've got to admit, Lu. Great idea. Walking Watson L.A. style works
très
fab in Hawaii.

CAMERA SHOT FROM ABOVE THE CAR. Shows the black Bug speeding along a beach road with the pug hanging halfway out the left rear window. His ears flap in the wind.

LULU

And, ummm, I have another good idea.

ALEXIS

One a summer is enough.

LULU

This has to do with Mom and Dad!

ALEXIS

Whatever it is, it's a NO.

Alexis swerves too fast and Watson flies into the car. He slowly unrolls himself from a ball and starts licking chip crumbs that have fallen on the seat.

LULU

This summer was supposed to be about our family spending time together. And, ya know, lots of kids help their parents work, especially in the summer. Let's come up with something we can do.

ALEXIS

And lots of girls, like
moi
, build up their bikini collection over the summer. That's what I plan to do.

LULU

How many bathing suits do you need 'cause didn't you just buy—

Alexis cranks up her music. The last thing she wants to discuss with Lulu is how her newest pair of red, ruffled bikini bottoms sag.

Lulu taps Alexis on her bony right shoulder. Alexis turns and flashes Lulu a “this must be an emergency” look over her shoulder.

LULU

You better pull over. Watson has to poop.

Watson squats in the corner of the backseat. Tootsie Roll shaped poops hit Alexis's white upholstery at the same time she screams over her loud music.

Alexis glowers at Watson through her rearview mirror.

ALEXIS

Lu! You and that nutty dog are back to actually WALKING on your walks! And NO more of your crazy schemes.

EXT. LEDGE OVERLOOKING THE HALONA BLOWHOLE—MONDAY MORNING

Lulu, Noelani, and the Ohana Camp kids wander the windy ledge above a large rock formation. They stare out toward the ocean, waiting for the next spray to rise into the air.

KAPONO

(scary voice right into his twin's ear)

There's a monster under there!

KENNA

(her soft voice quivers)

Really?

LULU

No, he's kidding!

KAPONO

The spiky evil creature used to breathe out fire, but so much water got into his mouth, now he can only breathe out boiling mist.

KENNA

(frightened)

Can the monster still move?

LULU

There's no monster.

(to Noelani)

Talk about being scared, I think Lex and I almost ruined our parents' movie.

NOELANI

Wait. You did?

LULU

The head of the studio that paid kazillions of dollars to make
Seas the Day
came to Mom's set, and she wasn't there.

NOELANI

(softly)

That's not 'cause of you. Where was she?

Suddenly, Lulu's mouth seems dry. Her lips feel stuck together.

LULU

At the hula-off.

Awkward silence.

NOELANI

Oh no.

LULU

Oh yes.

NOELANI

(small, scared voice)

That's 'cause of me.

LULU

Not at ALL. Geez peas. My mom explained that she and Dad coming to the hula-off didn't cause their movie to be in trouble. But I'm not sure…

NOELANI

(even smaller, quieter voice than before)

I don't know anything about making movies, so I don't know either.

LULU

I'm trying to figure out some way to help my mom and dad, just like they helped Ohana Camp.

NOELANI

Good idea. Like what?

Luckily, the monster saves Lulu from answering.

Little Kenna tugs the bottom of Lulu's orange skirt. Lulu picks her up.

LULU

(to Kenna)

It's not a monster at all. It's just nature. Don't worry! Thousands of years ago, boiling, bubbling lava from an erupting volcano created this hollow tube. Down there…

(points to the ocean)

…here's what's happening right now. Wave water is filling up the lava tube and pushing down and down where the tube is smaller and smaller. Any moment, the pressure will force a stream of water to shoot up.

PHFFFFFUUUUUUU!!! The water sprays up almost thirty feet in the air.

The Ohana kids and other visitors gasp and snap pictures.

KENNA

(who had been looking at Lulu)

I missed it!

Lulu puts Kenna down. She pulls out her iPhone.

LULU

(to Noelani and Kenna)

I'm gonna film the next blow. That way, we can watch the water blast whenever we want. And I'll send Hawaiian nature to my BFF Sophia in L.A. She'll love it too.

As the girls wait for the next aquatic explosion, Lulu, phone switched to filming mode, focuses on the spot where the blowhole opens.

PHFFFFFUUUUUU!!! The water shoots toward the sky.

LULU

Got it!

The kids gather around and watch it on the small iPhone screen.

LULU

(to the group around her)

OK, gotta admit, the last thing I ever wanted was this complicated phone, but it's cool to make a mini-movie.

LIAM

Like
Hilarious Hula
. Thousands of people keep watching it!

MALEKO

Lulu, you've gotta get your parents to make another video with us.

LULU

(sadly)

Not this summer.

(pause)

Maybe not even in this lifetime.

Noelani tugs Lulu to a nearby rock. Lulu plunks down.

NOELANI

That was really sweet how you made Kenna feel brave.

(looks under the ALOHA hat brim into Lulu's eyes)

Lu, you're good at doing everything. I'm sure you'll figure out something to help your parents, and we'll all help.

(looks toward the Ohana kids)

LULU

The problem is I really don't know anything about making movies either.

NOELANI

Just help with something you like to do.

A deep, long honking sound gives Lulu a moment to think.

NOELANI

Uncle Akamu's blowing the conch. It's time for lunch.

Lulu stays seated on the rock.

NOELANI

C'mon. Aren't you hungry?

Noelani takes Lulu's hands and, with effort, hauls her up.

LULU

That's it! Lunch! There's this fancy caterer who sets up food on the set every day. I bet I could make lunch for the crew, like on weekends, and save the movie money.

NOELANI

That's a lot of food to cook by yourself—

LULU

I can ask Maya to help me.

NOELANI

We'll all cook with you.

LULU

MAHALO
! Awesome. Let's tell everyone! My house! This weekend.

Lulu dashes toward the others while pushing her ALOHA hat more firmly onto her head to keep it from blowing off.

EXT. KAHALA RESORT, VALET ENTRANCE—FRIDAY EVENING

CAMERA FOLLOWS Alexis's black Bug speeding up a long black driveway. The car screeches to stop at a waiting valet.

Alexis takes a moment to spray her Jo Malone French Lime Blossom perfume before slowly stepping from her car.

LULU

(calls out from the backseat)

Hey, Lex. I don't know why you're spraying perfume. The real plumeria flowers around this driveway smell better than your perfume.

ALEXIS

Just stay in the car while I dash in and bring Mom her gold clutch.

LULU

I wanna come. I've got to talk to Mom and Dad.

Lulu scrambles out of the car. Her SURF OAHU T-shirt hangs below her skirt. Her brown messy hair flies around her face while the top of her hair is mushed under her ALOHA cap.

ALEXIS

(annoyed voice)

Look, Lu. Mom and Dad changed at the studio to get to this
très
glam party on time. It's like the governor of Hawaii is supposed to be here or something. Mom forgot this purse. She's in mega-stress mode. Stay away!

Lulu plops into a white cushiony chair while fancy cars drive up to the valet and fancy-dressed guests get out one after another. Lulu closes her eyes and breathes in the flowery-smelling air. After a moment, she feels a tug on her right arm.

CARIDYN

Lulu?

UNCLE AKAMU

(smiling)

Did you run away from home?

Uncle Akamu wears a ti leaf skirt over his shorts. Caridyn wears a traditional muumuu.

LULU

Hey! You guys look great.

CARIDYN

You OK? We're late for our show.

UNCLE AKAMU

Want to watch? I'm performing the fire dance. Big private luau here tonight for the governor of Hawaii and—

Lulu springs to her feet.

LULU

Geez peas! My parents are going to be at your luau. I need to talk to them anyway.

Uncle Akamu and Caridyn look at each other but don't have time to discuss Lulu. They walk through the high-ceiling lobby. Lulu bounces behind them. They get outside, pass a large, manmade lagoon, and head toward the beach, where burning torches are stuck into the sand.

Before they reach the hum of voices and soft music of the party, there's a SPLASH!

LULU

(hollers)

What was that?!

Lulu twirls around and starts running toward the sound of wet splatter.

SPLASH and SPRAY!

LULU

(shouting)

Dolphins?!

Within moments, there's another splash, but this time Lulu hears it from underwater. In the darkness, she's run into the lagoon.

CAMERA UNDERWATER. Four sleek gray dolphins zoom past Lulu's fingertips. Their bodies gleam silvery in the moonlight.

Lulu waves at the dolphins every time they glide near her. Within moments, though, she is pulled up.

UNCLE AKAMU

(swimming with Lulu tucked under his arm)

OK?

LULU

(head skimming above the surface)

I'm fine!

EXT. KAHALA HOTEL—VALET ENTRANCE, TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Lulu sits wrapped in luxurious, thick hotel towels. A frothy coconut shake and wedge of pineapple cake sit on a little table next to her.

LULU

(to hotel bellman who offers her a blanket)

Mahalo
. But, really, I'm fine.

CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK is heard getting closer and closer.

ALEXIS

(from across the lobby)

You are SO not fine!

Fiona, in a shimmering gold gown, and Linc, in a slim-cut tailored suit, race over to Lulu and hug her through her mummy-wrapped towels.

LINC

(lightheartedly)

What are you doing swimming with the fish?

FIONA

(stern voice)

What are you doing at this hotel?

ALEXIS

What are you doing out of my car?

Alexis stares hard at Lulu. Her violet eyes drill into Lulu.

LULU

(speaking super-dooper fast)

Mom and Dad, I can be useful on
Seas the Day
. I want to help with the food. I'm a really good coo—

FIONA

(while quickly reapplying her Chanel lipstick)

Lu, seriously, this isn't the time or place.

Another hotel bellman approaches. He hands Lulu her soggy ALOHA cap.

LULU

Geez peas, what a nice hotel. They even fished my hat out of the water.

LINC

(smiling)

Before the dolphins ate it.

There's a swirl of activity as a long, white car pulls up. The tall, elegant Mr. Sanyo steps out. He wears a pressed, soft-gray suit and green Hermès tie. His hair is perfectly trimmed above his ears. His fingernails are clean and buffed to a perfect shine.

FIONA

(under her breath to Linc)

There's Sanyo.

LINC

He's arriving WITH the governor?

FIONA

(to Lulu and Alexis)

Now get home, please.

LULU

Wait!

(jumps up and her towels fall to the floor)

I came to ask if I can bring lunch for you guys and the whole crew? OK? This Sunday? We're gonna cook a traditional Hawaiian me—

Linc strides toward the approaching Mr. Sanyo and claps him on the shoulder.

FIONA

(sharp whisper)

Fine, Lulu. Just get out of here!

She gracefully glides over to Linc, Mr. Sanyo, and the governor of the great state of Hawaii.