Lulu in LA LA Land (5 page)

ALEXIS

(cuts in)

OK, little Junior Ranger Brownie Girl Scout. You just got yourself excused from ordering invitations.

Chelsea has no idea how to handle the situation. She's used to relaxed calm. Elana, however, does.

ELANA

I told you girls, I need to pick up a yoga mat for your mother then get her unsweetened vanilla almond milk. I'm busy. So, here's how it goes: Lulu, leave now and say hola to Garzas. Alexis, you got twenty minutos to make invitations for the fiesta.

Elana's even-but-firm speech ends the bickering. Lulu practically skips out of Sugar Paper.

Alexis mouths “sorry” to Chelsea.

EXT. SIDEWALK AT THE CORNER OF 26th STREET AND BRENTWOOD TERRACE—CONTINUOUS

A bright white food truck with the words “Taco Truck Numero Uno” painted in red and green on both sides is parked on a side street. Written in small black letters next to the service window is “Señor Pedro Garza.” A big white A, the city health and safety inspection grade, hangs nearby.

MR. GARZA and MIGUEL stand inside the truck waiting for customers. They wear clean white aprons that say “The Taco Truck” and L.A. Dodgers baseball hats. Mr. Garza's thick silver hair and Miguel's shiny black hair stick out of the sides.

Miguel leans out over the truck's service area as soon as he spots Lulu coming down the street. He waves.

LULU

(shouts)

Hola! One tamale, por favor!!

MR. GARZA

Pronto! Coming right up for my numero uno customer.

Miguel leaps from the driver's side door. He and Lulu high-five.

MIGUEL

I wanted to see you today.

LULU

I'm having a shopping day with Alexis.

MIGUEL

Really?

LULU

It's a long, kooky story. The pronto version is it's my birthday soon, and I want my parents to come.

MIGUEL

Sounds pretty normal to me.

LULU

No, wait. Ya see, Alexis has to plan a party mucho fantastico so they'll come.

MIGUEL

I don't comprende that one, Lu.

MR. GARZA

(calling from inside truck)

Almost ready, Lulu!

MIGUEL

Quick, Lulu, I gotta tell you a secret.

Lulu stares wide-eyed at Miguel. She's never heard him use a serious tone like this before. He's always been a silly joker who's made her crack up since they both guzzled apple juice from sippy cups.

MIGUEL

(almost in a whisper)

Business hasn't been too good. Dad might have to shut down the truck and—

LULU

WHAT?

MIGUEL

—find another job.

MR. GARZA

(yelling)

One tamale! Hot and fresh.

LULU

(to Mr. Garza)

Gracias! Your tamale's my most ever perfect favorite food.

(to Miguel)

And do what?

MIGUEL

Don't know. Maybe just try to work as a cook somewhere?

Elana approaches the truck, greets Mr. Garza, and takes Lulu's tamale.

ELANA

(calling out)

What's with the whispering? Hola and adios, Miguel.

LULU

Momny, did you pay for my tamale?

Elana looks puzzled but reaches into her purse and pulls out five dollars. She hands it to Mr. Garza.

MR. GARZA

You loca, Lulu! Your money's not accepted here! Go. Adios!

Elana takes back the money. Then, she leads Lulu, clutching her hot tamale, toward the car.

INT. HARRISON KITCHEN AND EATING AREA—MONDAY, BREAKFAST

It's me, LULU. Scripts aren't really supposed to do this, but, again: CUT!! I've got to tell you something important: food. It's what gives us life and energy. And, well, this whole idea of never eating anything yummy is nutty. I live in a family of food freaks.

My mom and sister don't even like food. I secretly believe that my dad does, but he goes along with this food-isn't-good thing. Mom and Alexis eat in a way called vegan that, I think, means eating what vegetarian birds would eat. Seems like vegans only consume beans, rice, and small hills of salad—never anything from an animal. I like fruits and veggies, especially from my garden or the farmers markets. But I also LOVE red meat, cheesy anything, and my absolute favorite food, as you know, is Mexican.

Besides our chef, Michelangelo, who cooks dinner, and Elana, who prepares breakfast and lunch, I'm the only other person who uses our kitchen. Mom and Dad are way too busy making movies to make food. So, welcome to my family meals. Back to: ROLL 'EM!!

The girls are out of school. It's a “grading day” for teachers so the Harrisons have a rare morning together in their gigantic kitchen. The counters are covered in Italian white marble. The floor is dark wood. Steel appliances gleam. Copper pots hang from the ceiling.

Lulu mixes pancake batter while Elana watches to make sure Lulu gets the lumps out. Watson, wearing a yellow shirt that says “SECURITY,” circles Lulu with his tongue hanging out, hoping to catch batter droplets like a child trying to catch snowflakes. Linc, Fiona, and Alexis sit around a long wood table. Linc reads a new script on his iPad. Alexis and Fiona discuss the best places for hairstyling and manicures.

ALEXIS

Here's what's on my list for the party: hair, nails, facials, and massage.

FIONA

Call the Bel-Air Hotel. They could send a whole crew, and they're so close to the house, their spa staff could practically jog here.

ALEXIS

What about using all your regular stylists and, well, I can't imagine not having Eve do the massages.

FIONA

Even though Eve is Lulu's friend's mother, she's not coming to do massages at a girl's birthday party. She's got the clientele A-list. Even I have trouble booking her on weekends.

Lulu monitors Alexis's conversation.

LULU

(to Alexis and Fiona)

Hey, guys, Eve will come if Sophia's at the party.

LINC

(focused on his iPad)

What's the date, babe?

LULU

It's on my real birthday, right, Lex? Isn't that what's on the invitation? The whole party's gonna be relaxing. Ya know, time to take deep breaths and get your hair polished.

ALEXIS

(to Lulu)

It's get your hair “done” and your nails “polished.”

FIONA

Alexis, contact my assistant, Lilac, to get your call put through at the Bel-Air Hotel spa. So who's coming to this posh bash?

LULU

(jumping eagerly into the conversation)

It's called Spa-tacular. I made up that name. That's the only part Alexis let me do. My other job, though, is making sure you and Dad are Number One on the guest list. The other people, I don't know. Alexis, who is coming?

ALEXIS

Ummmm, well, I invited the Ditts' daughter, Jupiter, and Pamela Nicklesun and girls from Lulu's school. The guest list's just right. I'm starting to get into the food. I'd like to stick with spa cuisine but, you know…

(rolls her big, violet eyes)

…Lulu is bugging me for more food than that.

FIONA

Lex, I'm going to stop you there. All good ideas, but I have to get my face put together and my clothes on. I'm visiting shooting locations today.

Fiona gets up from the table, leaving a half-eaten fruit plate and a disappointed Alexis.

Suddenly, a cell phone symphony blares. The house telephone rings, adding another layer of sound. No one knows what to answer first. Fiona and Linc simultaneously reach into pockets and pull out iPhones. Elana answers the kitchen telephone. There's a moment of silence. Ringing, buzzing, chiming, and music all stop. The answerers listen.

FIONA

(unemotional, into phone)

OK.

Fiona's face turns into a stony mask. She clicks off her call with a sharp jab of her fingernail.

ELANA

(excitedly)

Dios mio, gracias!

Linc tosses his phone into the air. It somersaults twice. Linc catches it. Then he pumps his fist in the air.

LINC

YES!

Lulu dashes to the table.

LULU and ALEXIS

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

Linc leaps from his chair and wraps his arms around both daughters.

LINC

(slowly, drawn out)

Well, that was Steve, my loyal and devoted agent. He called to inform me that I, Lincoln Grant Harrison, the son of simple, poor, but hardworking Oklahoma migrants, have been…

(excitedly)

…nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor!

Lulu and Alexis whoop. Elana does a little shriek. Fiona remains still as frozen pudding.

LULU

For
Silver Water
? That's mom's movie!

LINC

Which was nominated for Best Picture!

FIONA

(flat and clearly unhappy)

It's not exactly MY movie if it was only nominated for Best Picture.

Fiona doesn't show a sliver of happiness. She's about to exit the kitchen.

LINC

(scowling towards his wife)

Can't you cut thinking of yourself even for a moment to just congratulate me?! This is my FIRST nomination for Best Actor. It's a big deal for me. YOU directed me brilliantly.

FIONA

(groaning)

Oh, please.

LINC

You've already won an Oscar for Best Director. See that Picasso I bought you after you won?

(points toward a drawing hanging on the wall)

I'm sorry you didn't get a Best Director nomination for the hundredth time!

Linc and Fiona fight as if no one else is in the room. Finally, they realize that everyone is quiet and staring at them. They're embarrassed to quarrel in front of the children and Elana. Fiona marches toward the kitchen door.

FIONA

(punching her phone screen)

Lincoln, I'm going to need a meeting with you in my office. ASAP. I'll head there right after I dress. Lilac will get agents, managers, and publicists all there too. We'll also have to meet with the studio.

(barking orders into her iPhone)

Lilac! First thing—cancel all my location visits for today!

Fiona exits the kitchen. An awkward pause lingers for several seconds.

LINC

Fiona wants me to report for work. After that news? I was thinking we'd go to Disneyland!

LULU

Oh, Daddy, I'd love to go to Disneyland with you. If you can't go today, can we go another day? Geez peas, we could do that for my birthday! Maybe Sophia could come too? Kids get to do that, ya know. Invite a friend and go to Disneyland for their birthday.

LINC

Do they still have Tom Sawyer's Island? I'd hide out there till Disneyland Security would find me—

The intercom buzzes. Elana picks up the receiver.

ELANA

(into receiver)

Yes, he still down here.

(pause)

Yes, Mrs. Harrison, I tell him.

All turn to face Elana, who obviously was just given instructions.

ELANA

(to Linc)

Mrs. Harrison wants you and your agent, Steve, to know plans have to be made muy rapido. The Academy Awards is in three weeks, so…

She trails off, embarrassed at having to deliver this message.

Lulu's face turns serious. She calculates numbers in her head.

Linc turns his joking manner on especially high so that Elana doesn't feel uncomfortable about having to deliver his wife's stern message and to smooth over the bitterness in the air.

LINC

I am summoned to war, ladies!

Alexis and Elana giggle.

LINCOLN

I take leave so that I may go into battle against other Hollywood male actors who shall viciously try to wrench this Oscar from my grasp! Off I go…

Linc kisses Alexis and Lulu on the cheek. He salutes Elana and exits the kitchen.

INT. HARRISON KITCHEN—MOMENTS LATER

Uneaten food remains on plates strewn about the large table. Linc's iPad lies next to his fork. It's like someone pushed a gigantic PAUSE button on the morning's activity.

LULU

(frantic)

When are the Academy Awards? Momny, do you know?

ELANA

I don't know, Lulu. Your mother just said soon.

LULU

When you were telling Dad, you said three weeks.

ELANA

Yes, your mother said like that, “three weeks.”

LULU

That's when my birthday is! But what day?

Alexis switches on the kitchen computer and Googles “Academy Awards.”

ALEXIS

Well, Lulu, you're gonna have to get over this one, but the Academy Awards are on February 26.

Lulu's green eyes immediately sting.

LULU

My birthday Spa-tacular isn't sounding too good right now.

ELANA

What, niña, Lulu? Don't cry.

LULU

(through tears)

Why does my birthday have to be on the EXACT same day as the Academy Awards?! And my parents, of all the girls in the world's parents, are in it! I'm massively happy they got nominated, but my deepest birthday wish was to have my family together.

ALEXIS

(almost warmth in her voice)

That's why I need to make this party so über-fab that they'll just HAVE to come. Leave it to me, Lu. I'll work my magic. This is Hollywood, right? Happy endings are us!

LULU

(perks up at Alexis's unexpected kindness)

Thanks, Lex, but Mom and Dad are gonna be too busy. I'll be forgotten again.

ALEXIS

Don't feel sorry for yourself. And use a tissue! Your nose is dripping all over the kitchen.

Alexis stands up from the table then sniffs and freezes.

ALEXIS

It smells like raw sewage.

LULU

(tears streaming down her cheeks)

Oh, Watson probably ate too much batter. He'll be OK.

ALEXIS

Too bad about that.

Both girls look over at Watson, who's lying on his back, four paws in the air, and tooting wind through his pull-up diaper that inflates with each puff. Lulu cracks a smile.