Lush Curves 6: Safe Harbor (A BBW Erotic Romance) (2 page)

That is, if she’d still have me…

“Plus, it takes a man maddened by love to throw a swing like that, brother.” He grinned, rubbing his chin. “I’m surprised you didn’t break my bloody jaw!”

I winced at his words. “Malcolm…”

“Stop, Gavin. I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” He leaned over and clapped me on the shoulder. “You need to go to her. Make things right.”

“How can I? After all I’ve done… all I’ve said?”

I felt the pain of the evening’s events all over again, and for a moment, it was hard to breathe. Feeling Aolani slipping away from me, all because of my own pride, my own blind attachment to an old promise, it made me ache down to my bones.

Malcolm sighed and sat back. “Have you moved past it? Have you finally let Fi go?”

I stared at him then, my hazel eyes locked on his. A moment of understanding passed between us, and I felt a peace growing inside of me, battling with the hurt.

“There’s one thing I have to do first. Will you help me, brother?”

He smiled at me, the look tinged with sadness and pride. “Of course.”

“Then come on. Let’s take a walk.”

***

As we stood, side by side on the pier, the sea air whipping our hair back from our faces, I felt the ring in my hand like a lead weight.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Malcolm’s voice was low, barely audible above the cries of the gulls and the whisper of the waves over the rocky shore.

“I’m sure.”

I raised the ring and pressed it to my lips, just once. The gold felt cold against my skin, and I shivered. I thought of the storm the night Fiona drowned—a night so much different than this one. The breeze was soothing, the sea calm, and my heart, for the first time in ages, I longed for another.

It was time to let go. To say goodbye to my childhood love, and open myself up again to the promise of a new start. A new life. A new, deeper love, like nothing I’d ever felt before.

“I’ll always love you, Fi,” I whispered over the waves, and I meant it.

She’d always be my first. She’d always have a place in my heart, kept there like a treasure. That would have to be good enough.

“Goodbye, my bonny girl.”

I glanced at the ring one last time, the tiny golden hands gleaming coldly in the moonlight. With a shuddering sigh I threw the ring as hard as I could into the ocean’s black waters. I didn’t hear the splash, but when it winked out of sight below the waves, I breathed deeply. A weight I didn’t know I
’d carried lifted from my shoulders, and I stood a little taller.

Malcolm put his arm around my shoulder and stood there with me, both of us looking out over the rolling surf, sharing this moment, this time together, as brothers.

Finally, I clapped him on the back, and we turned to leave.

I glanced back once at the waves, and saw the blinking light of a ship, far, far away, winking at me like a star. I turned away and walked back, toward the hotel, and the rest of my life.

Toward Aolani Kahale.

***

Aolani

I stood looking over the waves outside my grandmother’s house, feeling the hot sand between my toes, letting the warmth of the morning sun wash over me. Grandma had been surprised to see me when I arrived yesterday, after 36 hours of travel, my cousin Kali in tow. The last couple of days felt like a blur—a whirlwind of rolling suitcases and layovers, airplane food and fitful dreams full of Gavin’s hazel eyes, along with memories of anger and regret.

After that scene in the rose garden, I knew I had to get home as soon as possible, and not just to my lonely little apartment, but to the place I knew I’d always be welcome if I was in trouble. The one place I knew love waited for me with open arms.

I was back in Hawaii, and knowing that my family was there, just a long walk up the beach, soothed me, calming my roiling spirit. And I was grateful for that. Because as I looked out over the violence of the waves crashing against the coral reef, I knew my heart would have shattered had I not come here.

I would have been broken, and I simply could not have that. I wouldn’t let a man do that to me, much less one who didn’t even want me until he knew he couldn’t have me.

The fact that my heart longed for him anyway was the reason I’d needed to see my grandmother’s kind face and hear her wisdom. I was an idiot for ever loving Gavin Fletcher, and I needed peace to heal. To get over him. To pick up the pieces and figure out what I was going to do with myself.

To forget ever loving him in the first place.

Above all else, I couldn’t believe I’d given up a job to go with him on that crazy journey. Now, not only was I here, broke until my salary from the shoot came in, but with nothing to fall back on, without a prospect in sight.

I had Sandra’s phone number in my cell. Maybe she could help connect me with someone… anyone.

I ran my hands over my face, and felt hot tears beneath my palms.

A firm hand touched my shoulder, and I jumped.

“How are you doing, babe?”

I turned to see Grandma’s wrinkled smile. One look at my face and she nodded, her eyes full of knowing.

“That good, huh? Come on back. I’ve got lunch waiting.” She put a hand to my face, cupping my cheek. “Nothing seems so bad with a full stomach.”

I laughed. With the way she cooked, nothing was closer to the truth.

“I made my fried rice, just for you kid,” she said, taking my hand in hers and leading me back.

As we walked, she gave it a squeeze.

“It gets better.”

I looked at her, and wondered for the first time, what her life must have been like when she was my age. Did she have lovers before Grandpa, or was he the first? And did she get lonely now that he was gone? She must have seen her share of heartbreak, but here she was, still as tough as ever.

“You promise?” I laughed a little, and wiped another rogue tear away.

She nodded, looking straight ahead, toward her little yellow house.

“I promise.”

And in that moment, I believed her. There would be life after Gavin Fletcher.

All I needed was time, and everything would work itself out in the end.

But I wondered, as I sat at the bright kitchen table, how
long it would take before I stopped feeling like my world was tearing apart at the seams.

***

Gavin

“What do you mean, she’s
gone?
” I said. “She can’t be gone!”

“It’s what the note says! I’m not making this up. Here.”

Malcolm handed me the note that had been taped to the suitcase full of Aolani’s new clothes. The clothes I’d made her buy for the journey. It felt like a slap in the face to have them left here—like a box full of my things left for me after a nasty break up. And I supposed that’s what it was.

I snatched the paper from Malcolm’s hands and read it over myself.

I’m sorry to leave so abruptly, but it’s the right thing to do.

It won’t do either of us any good to drag this out longer than we have to.

I’m going home for a while, so I won’t be using the address you have on file.

Please send my last check to the following:

Aolani Kahale

233 Ohana Dr.

Oahu, HI 96706

Thank you for everything. I mean that.

-Aolani Kahale

I flipped the note over, hoping for something,
anything
, more, but that was it. That was all she’d left behind when she fled from me, out of my life, without a word. After the way I’d behaved, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I still felt her absence, and her cold note, like a punch in the gut.

She was gone, and all she wanted from me was to wrap up the business affai
rs between us. It felt so final for a moment that I almost gave in to despair.

I’d lost her. I’d really lost her.

But then, as I looked into my brother’s worried eyes, I felt something welling up inside of me stronger than my sadness and my fear. Determination. She was the one, and you didn’t just let the love of your life slip through your fingers. You fought. You fought tooth and nail,
goddamn it
, and that’s what I was going to do.

I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“I can’t let her get away, Malcolm.”

He clapped me hard on the shoulder and grinned.

“Then go get her, brother. Go get her.”

I crumpled the note in my hand and grinned back.

No matter what it took, I would tell Aolani that I loved her. I owed her, and myself, that much.

That night was a sleepless one as I sat at my hotel room desk, hurriedly making my arrangements.

***

Aolani

“I haven’t seen you smile since we got back,” Kali said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

We were walking along the beach, the oranges and pinks of the sunset reflecting off the shells of the tiny crabs digging holes in the sand. My sarong flapped around my legs, my bare feet feeling deliciously cool with each step. This was my favorite time of day on the island. It felt like home.

“I’m not sure what there is to talk about.”

Kali sighed in obvious frustration. “Come
on
, ‘Lani. It’s obvious something happened between you and that guy.” She made a fist. “Want me to kick his ass for you?”

I stared at her for
a moment, so serious beside me, her hands clenching at the idea of punching Gavin in his handsome face, and suddenly, I was laughing, the feeling so foreign after these last couple of days that I felt the surprise like a splash of cold water in the face.

Kali grinned back at me. “So you
do
want me to kick his ass. No problem, 'Cuz. I’m on the job.”

At that moment, we heard our grandmother’s shout and turned toward the house.

“Aolani! You’d better come on up, babe!”

We both looked at one another, and I raised an eyebrow. We’d already had dinner together—what could cause Grandma to holler for me at this time of night?

I jogged up the beach with Kali close behind me, my stomach dropping at the thought of some terrible news. Was there an illness in the family? A hurricane warning? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

I pushed open the screen door, and my breath caught in my throat. Kali ran into me with a soft “
oomph.” Sitting at my grandmother’s kitchen table was Gavin Fletcher, a glass of iced tea in front of him, and a bouquet of roses the colors of the sunset outside in a vase in front of him. He rose as soon as he saw me. I noticed that he’d dressed up, despite the heat, wearing a linen suit with a light blue dress shirt unbuttoned at the top just enough to want to see more.

He ran a hand through his chestnut waves, shining in the natural light filtering through the open window. He looked as anxious as I was confused.

“Aolani. Can we talk?”

In that moment, my emotions seemed to blend, my thoughts spinning together into a cacophony in my mind. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to cry in his arms. I wanted to throw him out and tell him to go straight to hell.

I wanted to make love to him and forget we were ever apart.

I opened my mouth to speak, but it was suddenly dry, the lump growing in my throat making it difficult to say anything.

“Go on now,” Grandma said, giving me a
be-polite-to-your-guest-or-else
look.

I turned to look at Kali and saw the skepticism in her eyes. I nodded at her that it was okay, then turned back to the man who’d traveled so far to find me.

“Alright.”

I turned and walked back onto the beach, swiping at my eyes to make sure they were dry. I didn’t want him to see my cry. Not ever again.

I heard the screen door close softly behind me, and his footsteps as he caught up.

“Aolani…”

I turned to look at him, now striding beside me, his long legs matching pace as I steered him toward the packed sand. The light was beginning to fade, the violent streaks of orange and fuscia blending into the oncoming blues and purples of the darkening sky.

I stopped when we were out of earshot, a cluster of rustling palm trees blocking my view of the house.

“What do you want, Gavin?”

I raised my eyes to his face. In the fading light, standing before me, the lines of his strong jaw and kissable mouth outlined by the last rays of the sun, he looked more handsome than I’d ever seen him. My heart ached to look at him, but I was no longer sure if it was grief or something else. Something only he could stir inside of me.