Lust (18 page)

how all Allures viewed love, but I

wasn’t an Allure yet. I knew that

Owen would want the time together

even if it made the future harder.

He’d have to move on either way.

“So wanting to see him makes

me selfish? Is that what you’re

trying to say?”

“Not exactly.”

“Just say it then? What’s your

point?” I blinked, attempting to hold

back tears that were threatening to

spill. I refused to cry in front of this

guy.

“You need to focus on the big

picture. You are in trouble. Serious

trouble.”

“I know I am. I’m losing myself.”

In the end that was more important

than anything the Force could do to

me.

“Stop worrying about losing your

human side. It’s already gone.”

“Just tell me. Where is he? Is he

still at Violet’s house?” I hoped

somewhere in this man was some

shred of human understanding.

Violet had it. Maybe he did too.

“He’s being escorted back home

as we speak.”

I shook my head out of disbelief

this time. Owen couldn’t leave. Not

yet. “No. That’s not possible.”

“Not possible?” He pulled me

forward into his chest. “Do you

really think you are in a position to

argue about what’s possible?”

“I have nothing left to lose.” I

didn’t have anything left if I couldn’t

stop the change, and I wasn’t going

to be able to stop it on my own. I

had to escape this jerk, find Mount

Majest, and beg an audience with

the Elders. Nothing about that

would be easy, especially without

someone to help.

“Actually you have plenty more

to lose.”

“Is that a threat?” I shivered.

Was he talking about Owen? My

family? Nothing else mattered. I

was done worrying about protecting

myself.

“No, it’s reality.”

“How much further do we have

to go?” I wanted to know how much

longer I had to escape. I assumed it

would be easier to escape out in

the woods rather than with the

Force.

“Tired already?” He sneered.

“No, but—” I noticed movement

out of the corner of my eye. “If it’s

far we should probably keep

moving.”

“You’re suddenly in a rush now?”

He asked suspiciously. “Do you

think making me paranoid is going

to change anything?”

I shook my head. “No. At least if

he get to the Force I can see

Violet.”

“That’s the first logical thing

you’ve said since I met you.”

“Yeah, well.” I needed to play it

cool. Whatever was out there didn’t

want to be seen by my captor. I

took that as a good sign.

He turned me around in his

arms and continued his march

forward.

“You never answered my

question.”

“Which one?” His hold was

lighter now at least.

“How far are we? I’m tired.

There I admitted it.”

“You’re weak. You really need to

let go of that human side.”

“It sounds like I don’t have a

choice about it.”

“You don’t. I’m only pointing out

why losing it will be a good thing.”

“Sure.” I noticed the movement

again out of the corner of my eye,

but I played it cool. “Could you

loosen your hold?”

“No.”

“I won’t run away.”

“And why would I trust you?”

“Where else do I have to go?”

“Back to find lover boy.” He did

a high pitched impersonation of a

female.

I ignored his failed impression.

“I don’t know how to get home.”

“I’m not letting go of you until

we reach the Force. I’ll be in a lot of

trouble if I lose you. I’ll also be out

of a lot of money.”

“Can we at least stop for some

water? I’m thirsty.”

“Once again, you need to let go

of that human side.”

“Gotcha. No need to keep

repeating yourself.”

“There’s a river with fresh

drinkable water nearby.” He turned

deeper into the forest.

“Why are you doing this job?”

“I already told you, it’s double

the usual bounty.”

“And you are that hard up for

money?”

He laughed. “Money? I’m an

Allure. You think I can’t get enough

money on my own?”

“Then what’s the bounty?”

“You really don’t know anything

yet.”

“No, I don’t. No one tells me

anything.”

“It’s no wonder Violet hasn’t told

you.”

“Why not?” I froze. I knew I

wasn’t going to like what he had to

tell me.

“I don’t want to make you

angrier than I have already.”

“Tell me.”

“You really want to know?” He

turned me so I was looking at him

again.

“Yes. I want to know.”

“What do you think it is? What

do you think an Allure would want

that they can’t get themselves?”

I thought about it. Allures could

have nearly everything. Except for

one thing. “Feelings.”

“You are smart.”

“The bounty is for feelings? They

pay you with feelings?”

“Not exactly. It’s for a glimpse of

a memory with feeling.”

“One memory? And just a

glimpse?”

He looked me straight in the

eye. “After years without feeling

you will understand how strong a

glimpse can be.”

“You said this was double the

bounty. What does that mean?”

“I get to choose two memories,

or one twice.”

“Which will you choose?” It

didn’t matter that we were talking

about turning me in to get it. I had

to know. Rational or not, I wanted

to understand this man.

“One memory twice.”

“What’s it a memory of?”

“My parents on the day I

graduated high school.”

“Oh.” I reflected back on my

own high school graduation.

“They were proud of me.

Beaming. I miss that feeling. Of

knowing I made someone proud.”

He sounded far off.

I blinked back tears as I thought

of how my mother had cried. It had

rained halfway through, but we

didn’t care we were wet. High

school was over, and the rest of our

life was still in front of us.

He broke me from my thoughts.

“And that’s exactly what Violet

wanted from you. Maybe she

wanted to take you straight to the

Elders so she could get a bigger

reward. Cut out the middle man of

the Force.”

I shook my head. “No. She

wouldn’t use me that way.”

“Why not? You have so much to

learn.”

“Because she wouldn’t.” I had

less confidence. Why wouldn’t

Violet turn me in for access to

memories with emotion? It was the

only thing she couldn’t get herself.

“Keep telling yourself whatever

you want. We’re getting water, and

we’re moving on. I have a bounty to

collect.”

“Yes, your bounty.” I was

overcome by a sadness like none I’d

ever had. I was going to become

one of them. A being willing to do

everything for even a glimpse of

emotion. What was the point of

going on?

14

OWEN

Feeling helpless was becoming far

too common for me. I was

supposed to be invincible. The

strongest of the strong, yet once

again I found myself unable to

protect the girl I loved. The

darkness was relentless, but if I

stayed completely still, I could get

some air. Whatever this blackness

was, I’d never come across it

before. The first Allure had called it

a Shadow, and that was a good

name. It had only appeared when

the light was turned off, which

meant I had to find a way to get

the lights turned on if I wanted to

get rid of it. At least in theory. Since

I couldn’t move, getting to the lamp

was going to be difficult.

Barton broke his silence. “Why

did you come here? Why not stay

home where it’s safe?”

I struggled to speak, but no

words came out.

Barton sighed. “You can let him

breath.”

The smothering lessened, and I

tried again to speak. It wasn’t easy,

but after a few deep breaths I

muttered a few words, “I came here

with Daisy.”

“Forget about Daisy. She isn’t

going to care about you in a few

days. I can see the change. She’ll

be full Allure soon and won’t even

give you the time of day.”

“Not if I can help it,” I grunted.

It hurt to speak from inside the

Shadow as it continued to restrain

my movements, but it felt good to

at least breathe.

“You can’t help it. There is

absolutely nothing you can do.”

“Yes, there is.” There was

always a chance.

“Why are you so full of false

optimism? It’s going to get you

nowhere.”

“Why do you care?” I choked

out. “Why bother to keep me here?

Let me go so I can fail and prove

you right.”

“The only place you are going is

back to your own realm. You don’t

belong here.”

“Yes, you’ve said that before.” I

didn’t belong there. Neither did

Daisy.

“I’m waiting for back up, and

then we’re out of here.”

“Backup? If I’m so weak and

helpless, can’t you do it yourself?”

Taunting your captor wasn’t always

a good idea, but maybe if I

distracted him the Shadow would

lay off. Somehow he was controlling

it.

“Of course I could.”

“Then what are you waiting

for?”

“I’m following protocol.” Barton

restlessly strode back and forth in

front of the door twirling his cane.

“I wasn’t aware Allures had

protocol.”

“We’re as organized as you are.”

“Glad you think The Society is

organized.”

“Shut up. The time will go faster

if you keep your mouth closed.” He

peered out the window.

Suddenly the door burst open,

and Violet immediately turned on

the light. The tightening around me

stopped abruptly, and I could

breathe normally. The dark forms

were gone.

“Hello, Barton. Still playing with

your toys?” Violet strode toward the

startled Allure and grinned.

I shook my arm. I could move. I

took several deep breaths, trying to

get myself back to normal. Violet

and Barton were my best clues to

finding Daisy.

“You’re supposed to be with the

Force.” Barton stepped back from

the door. “I’m only in your house

because Gabriel said I should.”

“Then you can leave my house

now.” She pointed to the doorway.

“Fine, I need to deport this one

anyway.”

“He can stay. He’s in my house

after all.” She shot me a warning

glance, and I took it to mean I

needed to stay quiet.

“Gabriel’s orders were to take

him home.”

“And I say he stays.” She walked

over and stopped mere inches from

him. “Are you really going to refuse

to listen to me?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m

leaving.”

“Good, but first tell me, where is

Gabriel? I fear he has my good

friend with him.”

“He’s taking her to the Force.”

“Thank you, you can go.” She

shooed him to the door.

“That was far too easy.” My

breathing had finally returned to its

normal state.

“Getting rid of him?” She closed

the door behind him.

“Yes.”

“I can be rather persuasive

when I want to be.” She ran her

hand over a few dusty books on the

bookshelf.

“We have no time to waste.

They have Daisy.”

“I understand that.” She smiled.

“Didn’t you hear me asking Barton

about it?”

“Then why are you still standing

here? We need to go.”

“We will. I’m deciding on the

best course of action.”

“The best course of action is to

leave and rescue her.”

“Except that we are likely

outnumbered.”

“I can take them.” Anger and

frustration pulsed through my body.

I could feel adrenaline building up.

“Like you took them just now?”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not

looking to destroy your masculine

confidence, but you can’t take

them. You don’t understand what

you are up against, and you

underestimated your opponent.”

“I won’t next time. I’ll know.”

“You’ll be distracted. You’re

always going to be distracted where

Daisy is concerned.”

I had so many questions for

Violet, but they could wait. We had

to find Daisy. “Then what do you

suggest?”

“Have you seen a cat?”

“Glendale?” Was she really

worrying about her cat at a time

like this?

“Yes. He introduced himself, I

see.” Her eyes twinkled.

“I have quite a few questions

about your feline friend, but right

now my concern is finding Daisy.”