Lust Quest (23 page)

“Mog,” I smiled. “Tomorrow night about eight. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

Beaming, he walked through the hall. Hearing the front door close, I shook my head despairingly. Another huge mistake, I reflected. Would I never learn? Gathering up the evidence of sexual debauchery, I climbed the stairs to the bathroom. I was hooked on Mog, I knew. But it was only cold lust, wasn’t it? Raw sex.

209

went to the pub that evening and waited an hour for Jackie to arrive. I didn’t mind I sitting alone as it gave me time to think. Ex-Alan, musician Alan, Mog, lesbian sex with Jackie, taking part in her orgy ... I realized what a mess my life was in. I didn’t know what I’d been trying to do, apart from gain sexual experience to help me write the book. And to top it all, I’d come close to being blackmailed.

A new start was what I needed. Hadn’t I thought that before? How was I going to start afresh? I’d have to move to another town well away from Mog and the two Alans. Jenny Hardbooke’s husband had screwed me, I’d been screwing a young lad in the park ... I didn’t want to be in the same town as the Hardbrookes the Alans or anyone else. I’d tell Jackie that I was thinking of moving.

“You took your time,” I said as she arrived and sat opposite me.

“I was help up,” she breathed. “Have you been here long?”

“About an hour,” I sighed. “Jackie, I’ve got to change my way of life.”

“Why?” she asked, hooking her long black hair behind her ears. “Apart from getting mixed up with that boy, you’ve been having a bloody good time recently.”

“A good time? I don’t think it can be described as a good time. I’ve become ...

I don’t know what I’ve become. This isn’t me, this isn’t the way I am.”

“This

is
the way you are, Jade. You’ve changed and you’re now different.”

“The old me is still there, somewhere inside my head. Yes, I have changed.

But I’ve changed into something I’m not. Do you understand what I mean?”

“You enjoyed the sex, didn’t you?”

210

“Yes, I can’t deny that. But the point is ... It’s just not me, Jackie. To me, sex should be something between two people who are in love.”

“I don’t know how you can say that after pissing on Alan’s face,” she giggled.

“I can see that you’re going to harp on about this for hours, so I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

“Yes,

thanks.”

I was sure that she knew what I was talking about. Most people pretend to be something they’re not at times, and some do it all the time. Admittedly it had become quite easy to strip off and enjoy debauched sex, almost second nature. But it wasn’t the real me.
You are what you think you are
, Alan the musician had said. What did I think I was? I thought I was a whore. I didn’t want to bore Jackie by going on about it and decided to change the subject.

“I’ll tell you what I think,” she said as she placed my drink on the table and sat down. “I think that you should stand back and evaluate the situation. Take a look at yourself from the outside. I know it’s not easy, but try to look at yourself from a different angle. I think you’ll find that the real you, as you put it, is someone who enjoys sex.”

“Of course I enjoy sex, but not with lots of different people.”

“Why not? I know that you’ll say that I’m being shallow or whatever, but what’s wrong in having two or more relationships on the go?”

“To be honest, Jackie, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It’s just not the way I want to be.”

211

“Ah,” she grinned triumphantly. “You’re now saying that it’s not the way you
want
to be. But it’s the way you are and you can’t deny that. Look what you were doing to that lad. For God’s sake, you’ve been having tremendous sex with several different people.”

“Yes, but ...”

“There are no buts, Jade. I’m going to the loo. If you’re chatted up by anyone while I’m gone, ask if they have a friend and also ask whether or not they fuck rotten.”

“Jackie!”

“See you in a minute.”

Shaking my head as she left the table, I had to laugh. She was so ... I don’t know. So normal and down to earth, I suppose. But I was more confused than ever.

I’d thought that the old me was the real me, and now wondered whether the new me was the real me. It was best to allow life to carry me in whichever direction it did and see where I ended up. If I felt like sex, then I’d have sex. If I felt like licking Jackie’s pussy, then I would.
But it’s not right
, I mused. “For God’s sake, forget about right and wrong,” I breathed, watching a young man wander up to the bar.

It was Mog. “Shit, that’s all I need,” I whispered as he looked around the pub.

He didn’t notice me, thankfully, and I hoped he wouldn’t. I reckoned that he was right. One can grow up in the space of a few seconds. Grow up? No, become wiser.

He’d probably become wiser. After his ridiculous blackmail attempt, he’d learned his lesson. I must admit that thrashing his penis to orgasm had really turned me on. I wanted to see him again, but ... It would only lead to illicit sex and I’d behave 212

uncharacteristically and ... Uncharacteristically? You are what you think you are. I wanted crude sex with Mog, so what did that make me?

“Bloody hell,” Jackie murmured as she returned. “I just had a call on my mobile. Guess who’s going to join us this evening?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “And I don’t think I
want
to know. In fact, I don’t want to stay here.”

“Why

not?”

“Because I’ve just come to a decision.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve decided that, from now on, I’m going to do what the bloody hell I want to do. I’m fed up with people telling me that I should do this or that. One thing that really bugs is the line,
you know what you want to do?
In other words, I’m telling you what you want to do.”

“Jade, what the fuck are you talking about/”

“I’m talking about me, as a person, an individual with thoughts of my own.”

“Oh, right. Anyway, your ex-Alan is on his way here. He got my mobile number from my mum and ... He’s on his way.”

“Good,” I grinned. “I could do with some fun. By the way, I didn’t mean you.”

“What?”

“When I said that I’m fed up with people telling me that I should do this or that. I didn’t mean you. Actually, I
did
mean you. Fuck it. I
did
mean you Jackie.”

“Oh,

thanks.”

“For fuck’s sake, what’s the fucking matter with the world?”

“How many have you had?”

213

“Nowhere near enough. Mog’s over there. Go and tell him to join us.”

“Jade, Alan’s on his way and I really don’t think he ...”

“Tell him to bring me a drink.”

“No, Jade. I’m not getting involved with him.”

I really didn’t know what I was doing, what I was thinking. What the hell did Alan want? And why had Jackie told him where we were? I should have been hammering the keyboard in my den, not sitting in the bloody pub wasting my time and money. Money? That was a joke. I was just about penniless. I desperately needed the advance for the book. I’d have to ring David, I pondered, gazing at Mog and again wondering what I was doing.

“What with Mog over there and Alan on his way, I’m leaving,” I said as Jackie sipped her drink.

“Leaving?” she frowned. “I thought you wanted to have some fun with Alan?”

“I did, but ... Oh, I don’t know. What’s the point?”

“We’ll see what he wants and take it from there.”

“He wants me to take him back, Jackie. He’s been on about us getting back together, trying again and ...”

“And allowing me to suck him off. He’s OK for a fuck, but nothing more.”

“You have a wonderful way with words.”

“If I were you, I’d tell him to bog off.”

“Bog off? You are funny,” I smiled. “OK, I’ll tell him to bog off.”

214

Alan finally arrived and sat next to me. He made several odd facial expression at Jackie, indicating that he wanted to be alone with me. Jackie, in her wisdom, stayed put. Mog remained oblivious to me as he leaned on the bar knocking back several beers and Jackie began chatting about the party she’d had and how much I’d enjoyed myself.

“Alan doesn’t want to hear about the party,” I interrupted her when she began talking about sex.

“Jade,” Alan smiled, sipping his beer. “I’ve been thinking.”

“So have I,” Jackie grinned. “Thinking that we should go on to a night club.”

“That’s a good idea,” I said, just to annoy Alan.

“Jade, I need to talk to you,” Alan sighed, obviously pissed off with Jackie.

“What about?” I asked.

“In

private.”

“Whatever you have to say, you can say it here.”

“All right. Crystal wants to talk to you.”

“Crystal?”

“Crystal

Marshall.”

“To

me?
But, why? She doesn’t know me.”

“She rang me earlier. She didn’t say what it was about but, she wants to talk to you.”

“OK,” I said, catching Jackie’s frowning eyes. “When and where?”

“She wants you to go to her place. I have the number here, give her a ring.”

“Thanks, I will,” I murmured, taking the piece of paper,”

“Here,” Jackie smiled, offering me her mobile phone.

215

Leaving the pub, I sat on a wall and dialled the number. The rough bricks biting into my naked buttocks as I waited for Crystal to answer, I wondered what on earth she wanted. Alan might have said something about me, but why would she want to see me? Perhaps she wanted to talk about writing. She’d obviously heard something about me.

“Hallo,” a soft voice finally answered.

“Crystal, this is Jade. Alan asked me to ...”

“Oh, yes. How are you?”

“Intrigued, to say the least. I remember you from school but we didn’t know each other.”

“Jade, I need to see you,” she said with an urgency that I found worrying.

“Can you come to my place?”

“What,

now?”

“Yes.”

“No, not really. I’m in the pub. I’ve had a few drinks so I can’t drive.”

“OK, I’ll come to your place. It’s extremely important, Jade.”

“All right. Say, half an hour?”

“I’ll be there. Alan told me the address.”

“Did he now?”

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not. I’ll see you soon.”

216

I had the feeling that I was about to discover something that would shock me.

The girl in the bushes, the character in my book, and now Crystal Marshall ringing me? The jigsaw puzzle was about to be completed, I was sure as I entered the pub.

Passing Jackie her phone, I made my excuses and moved to the door. Alan looked somewhat perplexed, as did Jackie, but I didn’t have the time to explain.

Walking home, I had a feeling of déja vu. I was on my way to meet someone, a young woman. She was going to tell me something that would frighten me. I was being silly, I tried to convince myself as I reached my flat. A thousand questions roaming my mind, I paced the lounge floor. Suddenly realizing that I was wearing a very short dress, and no panties, I was about to go and change when the bell rang.

“Crystal?” I asked, opening the door to a tall slim girl.

“Yes,” she smiled. “I’m pleased to meet you, Jade.”

“So, what’s all this about?” I frowned, showing her into the lounge.

“Where to begin?” she sighed, seating herself in the armchair. “Where to begin?”

Tossing her long golden locks over her shoulder, she smiled at me. She was extremely attractive. Far removed from the lanky little girl I remembered from school.

Her makeup was impeccable, as was her long blonde hair. She didn’t look as if she’d been on the run, I mused, eyeing her naked thighs.

“Alan told me that you’re a writer,” she said as I sat on the sofa and tried to push thoughts of lesbian sex out of my mind.

217

“Well, I’ve only just started,” I replied, eyeing her small breasts clearing defined by her tight blue dress. “I was a journalist for many years and I’m now trying to get into fiction. Why are you here, Crystal?”

“Because ... Initially, I didn’t take a great deal of notice when Alan said that you write.”

“Why was he talking about me in the first place?”

“We were discussing relationships. Anyway, when he said that you write erotic fiction, I became interested. I’ve been writing erotica for some time now and

...”

“You write filth? I mean, erotica?”

“Yes, I do. This is so complicated that I don’t know where to start. Alan said that you’d changed.”

“What did he say, exactly?” I asked accusingly. “I hope he hasn’t been ...”

“Don’t get me wrong, Jade. All he said was that you were doing things he’d never thought you’d do. Don’t worry, he didn’t go into any details.”

“But I still don’t know why you’re here.”

“I’ve come to see you because I’ve also changed. While I was away ... I’ll explain why I ran off later. While I was away, I had several sexual relationships and

... To be honest, I did things that were down right disgusting.”

“Something’s been happening to me, too,” I said, wondering what the hell was going on. “I’m half way through my book and, the strange thing is, I’ve set my story in a cottage with a laburnum tree and a well in the front garden.
Your
cottage,
your
garden.”

“God,” she breathed.

“This is really uncanny. I’ve named my character,
Crystal
.”

218

“I ...” She turned pale, her hands visibly trembling. “Tell me about your book.”

Relating the story of Crystal and her exploits, I wondered whether to go back to the pub and forget all this business. It was bad enough to think that I’d changed so dramatically. Add to that the fact that Crystal Marshall had not only made contact but was sitting in my lounge, I’d just about had enough. I rambled on for another ten minutes or so, wondering why I was wasting my time, and then decided that she’d heard enough.