Lustful Gaze (London Loves #6) (19 page)

Soon to become foursome… Paul flinched with surprise as he felt two of Scott’s lube-covered fingers ease between his buttocks and circle around his rim. Then he slipped them inside Paul and treated him to a finger-fuck, which sent shockwaves of joy through Paul’s tingling body. Paul continued to suck Edward off, feeling Harry pound faster and faster behind him, getting closer and closer to climax. A flash of pain suddenly gripped Paul as Scott entered slowly but firmly – hurrying in case it was all over too soon. Paul’s yelp of pain was muffled by Edward’s thrusting cock, which hardened even more at Paul’s distress. Scott eased himself all the way in, then he gave Paul’s ass a flirty little slap as he matched Harry’s thrusting pounding rhythm.

Paul relaxed and enjoyed feeling like a porn star. His lust-drenched brain churned up a thought that it would be nice if someone else could be watching, but the delicious feeling of Scott thrusting his cock up his ass suddenly rendered all coherent thought impossible. The universe washed with pure pleasure, and the four of them floated together on the snuggly rug in their sensual back-and-forth rhythm, with Harry thrusting ever deeper – pushing Edward further into Paul’s mouth and forcing Paul backwards into Scott – who in turn ground his cock harder into Paul’s ass. It was astounding to be right in the middle of this overwhelming chain of delight, and Paul’s lust flared up and overwhelmed him, flooding him with a nuclear explosion of ecstatic desire.

He realised he was going to come, and Scott knew it too somehow, because he reached around and grabbed Paul’s cock, gripping him tightly as Paul ejaculated spectacularly all over the rug. He involuntarily cried out as elation consumed him, which tripped something in Edward – who came hard in Paul’s mouth. Paul felt Scott grind deeper and deeper inside him – pushing him down and causing his knees to buckle – then Scott tensed and groaned loudly as his own orgasm exploded. Paul dropped to his forearms as he was treated to the warm sticky spurt of his husband ejaculating up his ass.

Covered in sweat and semen, Paul slowly moved his face away from Edward’s sticky cock and stayed there on his hands and knees, panting like a dog. He felt like a dog, too, but in the most delightful way. He giggled. It was base and dirty, but loving and tender. Scott rested a hand on his buttock and gently withdrew, then he shuffled around and slid himself under Paul’s body, like a mechanic sliding under a car. Scott’s face was rosy and content. He gazed up lovingly, and Paul lowered himself for a kiss.

“That was fucking amazing,” Paul said.

Scott grinned. “I love you, Paul Taylor. So much.”

Paul kissed him on the nose, then pushed himself to sit back on his heels. He glanced over at Harry and Edward, who’d gone into their own little huddle and were kissing tenderly like innocent teens. Had they really just been fucking each other like that? Paul’s cock twitched excitedly as residual lust washed over him.

Paul gazed back down to look at Scott, and saw that he was gazing up with absolute adoration, like a child looking up at his mother. They shared a smile. Scott reached up and caressed Paul’s sweat-covered thigh.

“How about we go for a nice soak in the tub?” Scott said. “And leave those two to chat.”

Reality seeped back into Paul’s mind and he remembered what Harry and Edward had been through today. He nodded, losing himself in Scott’s sapphire eyes. “That’s a good idea. I’m all sticky!”

Scott giggled. “Me too!”

Paul glanced at the splashes of semen on the rug. He pushed away his itching desire to clean it up, and clambered to his feet – helping Scott to stand, too.

Paul kissed his husband tenderly on the lips, suddenly feeling as if anything was possible. “Come on, let’s have that bath. I’m sure the mess on the rug can wait until morning.”

Scott laughed and held his hand. “Yep! Nothing’s ever as urgent as it seems. Not even cum stains on the carpet!”

Harry pressed his fingers against the glass and gazed out the window as Paul drove the four of them through the rough neighbourhood that Edward grew up in. The roads around here were full of potholes, and a burnt-out car had been abandoned in the middle of the sidewalk. Several of the garden gates were hanging forlornly off their hinges. It was like driving through parts of India – except the poverty there was much, much worse.

In the front passenger seat, Scott was finishing a telephone conversation with his boss, explaining the situation with Mr Sawhney. Harry was embarrassed and ashamed of his father’s behaviour. Not just because he’d threatened Scott like that, but… how could he lie and cheat so easily, after he’d taught Harry and his siblings to respect the feelings of other people, and to never do anything that might hurt them. What was his poor mother going to say when she found out the truth?

Edward’s lovely voice pulled Harry from his thoughts. “Paul, just park anywhere down here. Wherever you can find a space.”

Paul squeezed the huge car into a narrow space as Scott hung up the phone.

“What did she say?” Harry asked.

“She said she hasn’t heard anything from your dad, but that she refuses to let the gallery be funded by homophobes. And we won’t be blackmailed. She’s such a cool lady.”

Edward reached across and held Harry’s hand. “So now you have no excuses to stand up to him.”

Harry leaned over and kissed him. “Come on. Let’s go and speak to your parents.”

They climbed out and Edward led him to a rundown terraced house. Harry tried not to stare at the crumbling brickwork and overgrown grass. He followed Edward up the rubble-strewn pathway, and loitered next to him as Edward grabbed the doorknocker to announce their presence.

The woman who answered looked old beyond her years as if she’d had a hard life. She was wearing faded jeans and an old T-shirt – and her hair was scrunched up on her head in a messy ponytail. She gasped when she saw Edward then drew him into her arms.

“Oh, baby, it’s lovely to see you!”

Harry stood behind him, feeling awkward.

Edward extracted himself from her embrace. “Mum, this is Harry. We’ve got something to tell you. Is dad in?”

His mum beamed. “Hello, Harry! Aw, Edward, it’s about time you found yourself a nice fella. Come in, baby. Come in, Harry.”

The living room was cramped and cluttered with ornaments. Harry was ushered into a flowery armchair and Edward plonked himself down on a green tatty sofa, next to his dad – who was currently engrossed in a football match on the ancient TV.

“Nice to see you, son,” his dad muttered without looking away from the match.

“Hey, dad. Spurs winning, are they?”

Edward’s dad snorted as if this was hilarious, and they both became mesmerised by the game. Harry forced himself to relax. These people seemed nice, but it was the next visit that was making his palms sweat. He briefly allowed his mind to churn over what he intended to say to his dad, but then Edward’s mum swished into the room with a tray of tea things.

“Frank, switch off that football – your son’s brought someone to meet us!”

Edward’s dad sighed, then picked up the remote and flicked off the TV.

He noticed Harry for the first time and smiled. “Oh, hello. You’re quiet.”

Harry smiled shyly. “Sorry.”

Edward’s mum poured out the tea. Harry assumed that this was their finest china and he suddenly felt honoured that these people – who didn’t have very much – were treating him with such grace. He opened his mouth to complement the pretty teapot, but a little girl of about seven suddenly burst into the living room, and threw herself at Edward. He laughed and hugged her tightly, then she plonked herself on his lap and started telling him about all the things he’d missed in the few weeks since his last visit. Edward humoured her, then threw his attention back to his parents.

“Mum, dad,” Edward said. “I’ve got something to tell you. There’s no easy way to say this… I was working as a rent boy –”

His mum froze in the middle of passing Harry a cup of tea. “Oh, Edward, no!”

“But I’ve stopped now!” Edward said. “I couldn’t find a job. But now I’ve been given an amazing new opportunity and I’m settling down, Mum, I promise.”

His mum swallowed down her tears and nodded.

“And,” Edward said. “I’ve just met this fucking amazing –!”

“Language, Edward!” his dad said, thwacking him on the arm.

Edward grinned at his little sister who giggled. “Sorry. I’ve just met this delightfully charming young man.”

All eyes turned to Harry. Edward’s dad nodded his approval. “You seem like a nice lad; thanks for calming him down.”

Harry sipped his tea. “Oh… I didn’t do anything.”

Edward’s mum smiled kindly. “It’s okay, Harry. I know my son. I don’t know how long you two have been together, but he’s changed already. There’s a contentedness in his eyes. Love does that to people.”

“Mum!”

Edward’s little sister piped up. “Edward’s in love! How disgusting!”

“So what’s this job, then, Edward?” his dad asked, raising his voice above the child.

“I’m working in an office with a really nice guy. It’s only a short-term contract, but he said he’d help me find another job afterwards.”

His mum clasped her hands together. “That’s wonderful news. I just want you to be happy, sweetheart.
We
just want you to be happy, don’t we, Frank?”

“We certainly do.”

Edward glanced at Harry. They shared a smile. “Well,” he said. “I am. Very.”

****

By the time they arrived at his own parents’ house, Harry’s nerves had spread their sneaky tendrils throughout his entire body, making his heart thump hard and his knees fill with sludge. Harry asked one of the butlers the whereabouts of his parents, and he was politely directed to the garden – so he took Edward’s hand and they wandered through the house and out into the sunshine. Harry spotted his mother and father in the middle of the huge lawn, bossing the servants around as they scurried about, taking down the decorations from yesterday’s party.

Mr Sawhney glanced up as Harry and Edward headed over. Harry’s legs shook beneath him, willing him to forget about this craziness and flee. His dad’s face remained passive and hard as he shooed the servants away, then he muttered to his wife that their son had returned.

She turned to face him, glaring like a Mafia boss.

Harry halted a few feet away and let go of Edward’s hand. “Wait here. I’ll see them on my own.”

Edward’s lovely face crumpled. “Are you ashamed of me?”

“No, definitely not.” He ran his thumb over Edward’s chin and kissed him on the lips. “I just want to do this on my own, as an independent person. Please understand.”

“Okay. I understand.”

Harry grinned then turned and stepped away, but Edward grabbed his arm and pulled him back for another kiss. They giggled mischievously and smiled into each other’s eyes. Then Harry steeled himself and strode over to join his parents.

The three of them gazed at each other. Harry decided to let one of them speak first, rather than babbling out excuses and losing his cool.

“Haroon,” his mother said. “You didn’t come home last night. We were almost calling the police.”

Harry stood tall. “I shouldn’t have stayed out without informing you – it was disrespectful. From now on, while I live here, I promise to abide by your rules.”

His parents visibly relaxed – obviously thinking this nightmare was about to end.

“Well, I’m very glad to hear it,” his mother said.

Harry smirked. “Which is why I’m moving out.”

His mother’s expression dropped to furious. “What!”

“I’ll be staying with friends for three weeks before I leave for university.”

Mr Sawhney growled. “I forbid this. You’re
not
moving in with Scott and Paul!”

“You’re right – I’m not moving in with them. Edward’s living there at the moment and it’s too soon in our relationship for us to move in together.”

Mr Sawhney glared daggers deep into Harry’s brain as he tried to think of an answer. Neither of his parents seemed to want to know where Harry
was
planning to live – they were too consumed by his disobedience. He was so grateful to Sam and Verlaine for saying that he was welcome to stay with them for three weeks until he went off to Brighton and before
they
left for India. He knew it was going to be strange not living here, but Edward was right. He couldn’t allow himself to be stifled any longer. Not in a country like England where he was free to be whatever he wanted.

Harry reached out and squeezed his father’s arm. “I love you both, but I can’t be who you think I should be. I want to be part of this family, but I also want to be in a relationship with the beautiful man over there who’s currently looking a little bit worried!”

Harry turned and waved casually at Edward. Edward smirked and looked away.

Harry turned back to his parents. “I will choose him over this family. And before you tell me, I
know
this relationship won’t last, but there will be others if not him. I refuse to be like you, papa, being unfaithful to the person I’ve committed to spend my forever with.”

Harry let this hang in the air. His mum raised an eyebrow but – ever the dutiful wife – she refused to be drawn into a discussion about her husband’s infidelity – especially not with her son. Perhaps she was already aware of what was going on. Harry gazed at her as she set her face to stern, inhaling steeliness from the jasmine-filled air.

Harry resisted the urge to cuddle her – he knew he needed to tolerate this temporary discomfort for his long-term freedom. “If I’m not welcome here, then that’s your decision, but I won’t stop loving you. It’s impossible. Just as it’s impossible for me to love a woman.”

Harry’s mother spoke slowly. “Haroon, I love you because you’re my son. But I don’t
like
you for what you’re doing to our family. I cannot accept this decision.”

Harry had expected her to say something like that, but it still ripped his soul apart to hear it. The thought of stepping away from this family was like having a limb cut off. But he needed to do this. It was only happening because
they
didn’t accept
him
for who he was.

Harry gazed deeply into his mother’s eyes. “I’ll write often. I hope one day we can be friends again.”

He turned away and saw Edward watching with concern. 

“I no longer have an eldest son,” Mr Sawhney muttered. 

Harry spun back and spoke passionately. “I will always be your son, and you will always be my father. You can’t divorce me just because…” Harry shouted loudly. “…I’m
gay
!”

Mr Sawhney pulled a face like he was sucking a lemon, which looked so comical that Harry automatically burst into laughter, suddenly feeling free and light. It was against his culture to show affection in public, but he no longer cared – he suddenly lunged forward and threw his arms around his mother, hugging her tightly. Her body tensed as rigid as an incense stick, and she refused to hug him back. But that was okay. For now.

Harry released her and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, mummy-ji.”

Without waiting for an answer, he turned and strode towards Edward. Harry suddenly felt as if he was riding on an out-of-control rollercoaster – and it was fucking amazing! He’d crashed through a stonewall barrier in his mind and skidded into a new life, where freedom and love lay.  

Edward threw his arms around him triumphantly. “I think everyone in Maida Vale heard that!”

Harry sunk into Edward’s wonderful body, not caring who saw. “Good. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

They marched through the house, supporting each other like a couple of battered – but brave – soldiers.  But as they stepped over the threshold and climbed into Paul’s BMW, Harry was struck with the realisation that he might never see his dear mother again. His gleeful mood shattered, and gloom smothered him.

Scott twisted in the front seat to face them. “How did it go?”

Harry bit his cheeks to stop his tears from escaping. “I wish I’d been able to say goodbye to my siblings.”

Paul smiled kindly in the rear-view mirror. “You’ll see them again, Harry. I’ve got a friend who comes from a Muslim family and she ran off with a white guy when she was younger. Her family turned their backs on her, but now they’re reunited. I reckon the same will happen to you. Your mum’ll probably crack first. Then your dad. And the best thing is, this ex-Muslim friend of mine, her family have
all
been transformed by her bravery, because it’s made
them
more accepting and loving of their daughter. And of everyone else.”

Edward squeezed Harry’s hand. “It’s all a learning, isn’t it? 

Harry sighed and tried to stay strong. “Yeah, I guess sometimes you need to be brave to get what you want. And then start building from there.”