Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (33 page)

‘Oh! It's only a beggar woman with some urchins,' she called over her shoulder, slowly lookin from us back te the man. Me ma went inta shock at this but stopped herself from lettin fly when the woman said, ‘I've no idea, really, what she's about! But do give her something, Cecil. It will send her on her way!' Then she floated in, danglin her long cigarette, holdin it in the air an spillin ash on the lovely rug.

I was drinkin everythin in, me mouth hangin wide an me eyes shinin. I sobbed in a big breath, cos I was forgettin te breathe. I followed her every move aroun the corner, an she disappeared inta a room. Me eyes were foggy from not blinkin, an I had te close them shut an open them again te look at the man, who was very annoyed at us disturbin his peace. He dug his hands inta his trouser pockets an came up empty.

A boy of about ten years appeared on the landin. He was wearin a long wool dressin gown wit pyjamas an slippers, an a teddy bear in his arms. His lovely shiny brown hair was combed te the side, an it was cut above his ears, an he had a flick of hair hangin over his eye. He had lovely fat cheeks. I stared at him. ‘Daddy!' he screamed. ‘I want Mummy this instant!'

‘Oh, bother!' Daddy said, lookin fer money te give us.

‘Mummy!' the boy screamed, an Mummy floated out te the hall.

‘What is it, darling? You must speak to Nelly!'

‘I will not drink that horrid milk and that foul-tasting ginger stuff she puts into it.'

‘Oh, darling! Be a sweetie for Nelly, and Mummy will come up and kiss you nightie night.' Then she blew kisses up te him.

‘No, Mummy! No!' an he started te wring the teddy's neck.

‘This is an outrage!' Daddy barked. ‘The whole house is in uproar.'

Nelly appeared in a black frock wit a belt an a white lace collar, an her grey hair tied in a bun in the back of her head, an tried te wrestle the boy back te bed. The man whipped out his wallet an handed me ma a big green pound note an slammed the door shut!

Me ma kept lookin at the pound note te see if it was real! She started laughin an took hold of the pram an said, ‘Come on, Martha, let's get home. We'll get in outa the cold,' an she started te run. I gave a last look back an wondered how tha boy could be so lucky te have all tha. How do ye get te be like them?

I clamped me gapin mouth shut an gave a little heave of me chest, lettin out me wind, an then shot me head aroun te run after me ma. An a big black car wit a silver ornament sittin up on the front of the bonnet whirred aroun the corner an came te a stop in front of the house. I looked in, an there was a woman in a big fur coat wit a glitterin diamond crown sittin on her head, an a man in a black dickie bow an a lovely black coat wit black velvet on the collar stared out at me. Then he opened the car door an tried te heave himself out. ‘Good gracious!' he said te his wife. ‘What's that?' An the two of them looked at me!

The front door opened, an the man who gave me ma the quid held his arms wide an smiled. ‘Wonderful to see you, Charles!' an I closed me mouth again, rememberin me ma, an rushed off te catch up wit her, thinkin tha must be a duchess or somethin wit the crown on her head! An the way tha man did as his wife told him, even though he didn't want te give me ma anythin, tha's outa this world, it is! When I grow up, I'm goin te get meself a man just like tha. No Jacksers fer me!

We got home in the pitch black, freezin wit the cold, an me ma said, ‘I won't bother lightin the fire, let's just get te bed. Everyone is worn out, an tomorrow we'll have a lovely big dinner.'

‘Yeah, Ma, I'm too tired!'

I woke up te see the fire lightin, an me ma said, ‘Here, have this drop a tea, an there's a chunk a lovely bread an good butter. An when ye're finished, then go aroun te the shop an get me a pint a milk an six eggs.'

‘Right, Ma!' I swallied down the bread an good butter in six bites. It was too good te bother an make it last. I was starvin. ‘Any more, Ma?'

‘No! We're not eatin the lot now. I want te make it stretch, an ye'll be gettin a big dinner later. Here! Run te the shop,' an she gave me me two shillins.

‘Can I buy meself a
Bunty
comic, Ma?'

‘No! Bring me back the change.'

‘Ah, Ma! Just two pence!'

‘All right, then, but no more!'

‘Ah, thanks, Ma!'

I rushed back wit the milk an eggs, an me ma gave me two pennies. ‘I'm goin out, Ma, te get me comics. I'm goin te see if I can get old ones.'

‘Don't be long!' me ma shouted after me as I rushed past the winda.

‘No, Ma! I'll be back.'

I rambled up Talbot Street an aroun te Marlborough Street, headin fer the second-hand book shops. I bought three
Bunties
an one
Judy
second-hand fer tuppence. They wanted fourpence fer the lot, a penny each. But I managed te get the lot fer a ha'penny each. Tellin the man, cos the aul one didn't want te know, I'd bring back the comics, an he could have the lot fer a penny after I'd finished readin them.

‘Go on, then!' he said, after sizin me up te see if I was genuine. I stared back at him, an he handed me the comics, an I threw down the two pennies an rushed out the door before the aul one stopped me.

I crossed me arms, holdin the comics te me chest in case someone'd try te grab them or I dropped them an didn't notice. Ye never know! Ye can lose things. I'm feelin so happy, things couldn't be better. An I had loads a things te look forward te. Then I spotted the two chairs sittin on the steps outside the Government Department Office. They must be thowin them out! I rushed up the steps an looked at them. They were like the ones in the hospital fer visitors te sit on. I looked aroun, an the shops had their bins out. Right! I put one on top of the other, an me comics sittin on them, an rushed off. I was beltin down the road an gave a look back, an there was a man lookin up an down the road scratchin his head, an he must be wonderin where his chairs got te! I ran faster. Jaysus! I'm goin te be arrested. I took another look back when I stopped te cross the road. An I saw him disappear inside. Me heart was poundin, Holy Mother of God, don't get me arrested! I thought they were thrown out!

I got in the door safely. ‘Ma! Ma, lookit! We have chairs te sit on!'

‘Where'd we get them?' me ma said laughin, an I told her. ‘You'd better be careful!' me ma said, ‘or you'll be put away an locked up till ye're sixteen.'

I didn't like the thought of tha! A lot of childre from the buildins was put away an locked up. Ye might see them rarely on a Sunday, playin pitch penny. An they'd be dressed in suits an big boots. An the suits look like the sacks the coalman used te throw over his horse on a wet day. An their heads was all shaved. An they didn't act like themselves any more. They were very quiet an kept their heads down an didn't bother te look at ye. It was like the life was gone outa them. An they were tryin te play an enjoy themselves like they used te. But it was all gone, an they were like aul men who'd seen too much a this life. An they were still only my age, some of them nine years old, an ten an eleven. Ye could see they were worried about goin back te Daingean an Artane an Letterfrack. The worry of it was killin them. I know what it's like. Tha's the same fer me when Jackser's livin wit us, so I don't know wha's worse, bein locked up or livin wit Jackser! I felt me heart sink inta me belly, cos I know he'll be back.

I looked up when I heard Charlie an Teddy fightin over the chair. ‘No! It's mine! I sawed it first.' Charlie was tryin te tear Teddy's hands offa the chair. ‘Get yer own!' Charlie pointed te the other chair beside the table, an Teddy looked over an rushed te get the other chair. An tried te pull it over te the fire an knocked it down. Charlie was sittin up on the chair now, wavin his legs an laughin. Teddy was screamin in frustration.

Me comics! I suddenly remembered. ‘Where's me comics?' I screamed.

‘I'm goin te kill the lot of ye if ye don't stop tha roarin,' me ma shouted.

I raced over te the bed an looked under an all aroun me. I was in a sweat. ‘Ma! Ma! Me comics is gone!'

‘They're on the floor where ye left them.'

An I looked. Harry was sittin on the floor, tearin an eatin them. I grabbed his hands an loosened his grip before he could do any more damage. An tried te put the torn bits together an took the half page still stickin outa his mouth. He sat lookin at me fer a minute. ‘Ye're bold!' I said, an I went te sit on the bed. An he crawled after me, wantin them back, an screamed in frustration, tearin his hair out, when I wouldn't let him have them.

‘Give him somethin te keep him quiet!' me ma roared from the scullery. I looked aroun te see if there was anythin. I knew I wouldn't get any peace te read if I didn't. I leapt off the bed an wrestled the chair offa Charlie an dragged it under the winda, puttin it on its side, an called Harry te come an play wit it. He laughed an rushed over on his hands an knees. An Teddy thought it was a great idea an dropped his own chair an came rushin over te join in. Charlie was delighted an stopped tryin te get the chair offa me an rushed back, laughin. ‘Now I have me own, an no one's gettin it!' he roared.

Me ma was fryin the roast potatoes an the roast beef in the fryin pan wit the beef drippin, an I could hear the hissin from the pan. The smell was outa this world. I looked aroun me, sittin on the bed wit me back te the headboard, takin in the lovely red roarin fire an the lovely food, an the chairs we could sit on now by the fire, an took a big sigh, lettin out me breath wit all the peace an comfort we had. An I picked up me comic te read. Wha more could a body want? I asked meself. I lost meself wit ‘Wee Slavey' carryin up the heavy buckets of coal te the kitchen. An I was tormented like her when all the cook an the parlour maid an the downstairs kitchen maid was screamin at her. All at the same time! She was sweatin an wipin her forehead, an tryin te hurry. ‘Light the fire in the mornin room!' the parlour maid screamed. ‘Ye didn't blacken me stove!' the cook shouted, an this was all in Victorian times. It was great! I was sufferin away wit Wee Slavey but feelin no pain, cos it wasn't me. An I could lift me head any time an smell the cookin, an then I was in heaven. Then I went te ‘Bessie Bunter' at her lovely boardin school wit the lovely uniform an the gorgeous blazer. I'd love te be there. She was tormented tryin te get her hands on the big parcel her rich parents sent her. The head teacher had it locked up in her press, an it was full of chocolate, an sweets, an biscuits, an homemade cakes. An Bessie only cared about eatin, nothin else! An she was fat as a fool! An she got herself in an awful lot of trouble, cos she was tryin te break inta the study. She was climbin up the drainpipe, an it gave way an she landed on her fat arse an was caught when the head girl, Mary, came marchin by wit her hands in her blazer pockets an two thumbs stickin out. Tha's what a lady does! It was marvellous, an I was Mary, the head girl, cos Bessie is too stupid fer my likin. The stories take me away from meself, an I go off inta another world.

I heard the rattle of plates, an we all looked up. ‘Right! It's ready,' me ma said.

‘Dinner!' Charlie roared. An he threw himself offa the chair he'd been guardin an upended it.

‘Take it easy!' me ma said. ‘There's plenty te go aroun.' She brought in a plate filled high like a mountain wit fried roast beef an potatoes, an put it on the table. We all rushed over, an the babby screamed, cos he was caught under the chair an thought he was goin te miss out on the grub. I let him loose, an he rushed over on his hands an knees.

‘Don't touch the plate!' me ma roared from the scullery. ‘I'm not ready yet,' an she brought in the fryin pan wit the six eggs all mashed up an fried. I looked. Pity she can't make them yella in the middle an all white. But ye can't help tha, cos she's not able te cook. Jackser does the cookin, but then he eats it himself an we get nothin anyways, so this is better. She put fried potatoes on the clean plate, an meat an a bit of egg, an buttered six slices a bread, an put a few scones on, an we watched her, wonderin who this was fer, cos we only have the two plates.

‘Here!' me ma said, handin me the plate, an I thought it was fer me! Bring this over te Mrs Dunne quickly while it's hot an tell her we had too much an I hope she enjoys it! Run before it gets cold.'

I knocked on the door, holdin the plate, an me stomach was goin mad te get me teeth inta it. The door opened, an Mrs Dunne's eyes were hangin out lookin at the plate. ‘Me mammy said ye might like this, cos we've too much, an she'd be grateful if ye'd have it.'

‘Ah, Jaysus, no! I couldn't, an yer poor mammy wit a roomful of childre.'

She looked at the plate as if she was starvin, an Jimmy came over an said in a loud whisper, ‘Is this fer us, Ma? Take it, Mam!'

I said, ‘If ye don't, it'll only go te waste!'

‘Ah! All right so, seein as ye put it like tha. I don't like te see waste,' an she took the plate from me. I wanted te get back fast te eat me own dinner, an I turned me head te go, an she said, ‘Tell yer mammy I said, the blessins of God on her! May she never want fer anythin. An I won't forget this.'

‘Thanks, Mrs. I'll tell her tha,' an I rushed inta me own room.

‘Come on, get yer dinner before it gets cold!' me ma said, eatin a mouthful of potato. ‘I gave them theirs, an we'll share the plate along wit the babby.'

I looked over at Teddy an Charlie. They had their own chairs, an they were kneelin at them, eatin the meat offa the bread, an they had their potatoes lined up on the seat of the chairs an were busy stuffin the grub inta their mouths. Everyone was quiet, an me ma was standin at the table, holdin the babby an puttin food inta his mouth, an feedin herself. I helped meself te a potato an a bit of meat. It went down too fast before I had a chance te taste it, an I grabbed a bit a bread an put eggs on it. ‘Oh! This is gorgeous,' I mumbled, not talkin, cos I wanted te get the grub inta me. We had a sup a tea wit the cakes, an our bellies were full.