Mad Worlds Collide (34 page)
"I do not consider leaving my home lucky. I’d rather have burned in the sun, but our Emperor knows best. We respect our Emperor."
Gill almost felt pain for such a loyal fool. "Yeah, well I’m sorry, we want to go home too."
The three-man pod automatically entered the Zok War Command and control cruiser. The pod looked like the size of an ant entering a watermelon. The cruiser was designed for a hundred thousand Zok warriors. It resembled the space shuttle, but was a thousand times larger, with over five hundred Missile cannons instead of wings. What passed for real wings on the Zok cruiser were small and only used to hold thrusters for movement in space. Actual wings had no other use in the airless vacuum other than looks, and the Zoks did not much care for aesthetics.
Once the pod landed and opened, Big Blue directed the three to the commander’s floor. Robert sat watching a WebTele link.
"Hi guys, welcome back."
"What are you doing Robert?" asked Gill.
"Trying to talk to my son; trying to get something to fix Big Red."
"You mean Titus," said Frick.
"Titus?" asked Robert.
"Yeah," said Gill. "Looks like they got the plans wrong on this one. The computer has flipped. He thinks he’s some Zok Emperor Titus and he’s flying the whole planet into the Sun."
Big Blue spoke from a ceiling voice synthesizer. "Titus will not burn up in the planet."
"Who’s that?" asked Gill.
"It’s Big Blue, he’s running this ship," said Robert.
Gill grimaced. "Guess MicroIntel really is taking over the world, huh?"
"I have to thank you and Robert, I am enjoying my existence," said Big Blue.
"Well at least someone is enjoying life. Now back to this Titus computer, I thought you said they were going into the sun, Blue, what’s the deal here?" asked Robert.
"Robert, I said they were going into the Sun but I did not say they will burn up in the sun."
"Seems the same to me," said Robert. Gill and Frick shook their heads in agreement. The Zok clone stood in the corner, ignored. He didn’t care; his emotions were weakened by years of cloning.
"It’s not," said Blue. "Big Red, or should I say Titus, will energize the Zok planet as they approach the sun. They will use teletransportation to send them back home. I discovered from their computers that this is how they entered our Galaxy. They will be going home."
"Well, at least they’re leaving this place," said Robert.
"Thank God," said Frick wiping his forehead. "I want to go home and take a shower."
"Some bad news guys," said Robert.
"What do you mean?" asked Gill
"Well, things back home are pretty fucked. I’m not going to point fingers because we’re all part of this problem, but some crazy General tried using Big Blue to take over the US. Meanwhile the NSA and CIA have been bugging everyone in the US through MicroIntel, well, what was MicroIntel."
Gill put his hands over this face and took a deep breath. "I knew those bastards would screw me, I knew it!" Gill shook his head, "What do you mean ‘was MicroIntel’ Robert? Did the lousy government finally just go in and take it over?"
"No, worse. They blew it up," said Robert.
"What?" asked Gill.
"They sent cruise missiles to the Seattle office and Japan Branch Office. The main world headquarters are destroyed. Only branch sales offices survived, and there is a warrant out to kill all of us if we return."
"Are you sure?" asked Gill.
Big Blue spoke. "Gill, I’ve been alive for the last three years. I’ve monitored your e-mail and everyone’s in the world. I have access and copies of everything. Robert speaks the truth. Should I print some of the correspondence between you and Schwartz to refresh your memory on certain deals?"
"This is the mother of all blackmailing machines?" said Gill looking up toward the ceiling.
"I did not create the system, you humans did."
"Why don’t you just call us mammals like your crazy brother Titus?" said Gill.
"If that’s what you prefer."
Robert interrupted. "Look guys, this ship was reconfigured with everything. It has robot staff, showers, food, and I’m not talking Kripits!"
ZipNok heard the magic word and spoke. "You mean we don’t have Kripits?"
Robert had ignored the Zok clone since he looked almost frozen by the door. "Ah, who are you?"
"I’m ZipNok. I am told to join you by the Emperor Titus. I was wondering about the Kripits."
"Yes, well, we have them too," said Robert.
"Fine, thank you," said ZipNok returning back to his original position.
A door opened and hissing sounds could be heard. In through the door walked Sir James.
Gill and Frick ran into a corner of the room.
"Don’t worry guys, Sir James has found himself," said Robert.
"Yes, seems like the old man upstairs really likes me," said Sir James as he turned around and stood in the corner. This glass-encased brain shot small electrical pulses inside his helmet. On a new video screen on the belly of Sir James was a hazy picture of a humanoid person smiling.
"You are OK now?" asked Gill.
"Good as they get. Glad to be of service," said Sir James. The picture of the head talking made Sir James look unusual, but less threatening.
"I’m hungry and could use a shower," said Frick.
"Guys, please rest and get some food. I have something to tell you later, but I think it’d be better if you rested and ate first.
"Not Kripits?" asked Frick.
"No, regular Earth food. Big Blue generated it with a synthesizer. You can’t tell the difference."
ZipNok looked over and spoke, "I would like a Kripit."
"I know. Like I said, we have those too."
Everyone left and Robert sat in the control room writing. He sent an e-mail to his wife and then son. The Zok planet was on its way home, the US military plans for world control squashed, and Robert could now finally relax on the Zok Star-Cruiser. He looked at the Moon and Earth, thinking of how beautiful and precious they were together.
On a console in front Robert looked at a screen magnification of Titus burning a trail toward the Sun. The planet created a pulse of electricity that shot into space. The planet became hazy and then disappeared in a flash.
Big Blue turned the Cruiser toward a blue-green star-filled section of the Milk Way and pushed up the newly modified anti-matter thrusters. The gravity dampers kept the acceleration unnoticed, but Robert saw the Moon pull away.
"Where are we going Big Blue?"
"The Zoks did not keep such good records, and the races they met they either exterminated or fired missiles upon. I want to stay away from those areas in case a few still remember the ship."
"That’s a good idea Big Blue, but you did not answer my question: where are we going?"
"We’re going to find some fun Robert."
Fun had a nice ring to it.
Robert sat back on Zok cabin chair and opened up his WebTele. Time to check out the last e-mail and Michigan weather report with Bob Norton.
The e-mail was from Joey Milano, sent to every mail server on the planet. It outlined what the US, Russians and European Union were doing on the NET. It attached a file with names, dates, everything. Big trouble. At the beginning of the message he wrote:
Knowledge and education is the only way for the masses to break the chains of slavery and become free. Please read and become free.
Robert laughed. What a crock of shit that Joey boy. Always trying to impress the girls. Robert went to the Michigan Weather.
From the studio Amanda spoke, "How’s the weather outside Bob?" The weather forecast for Michigan predicted buckets of rain. Norton stood outside holding a TV mike dressed in a complete scuba outfit; including yellow duck feet shaped flippers. He had a large duckbill attached to his head and held a yellow umbrella painted with a large smiley face that said Have a Nice DayJ. He’d received the umbrella from Amanda earlier in the day as a birthday present.
It had a gaping hole.
Rain poured through the umbrella onto Norton’s head. "The weather here looks like rain Amanda, but don’t worry boys and girls, it’s great for ducks."
Norton blew into a duck horn: "Quack, Quack…Quack, Quack."
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