Maggie Get Your Gun (20 page)

“Step to the edge, Mindy MacKay!” commanded Mr. Smith.

The thrall was easing.  I was starting to be able to think
on my own again.  I still couldn’t move or speak, but I could think.  I was
horrified as I watched my sister walk towards the edge of the balcony.  I knew
she shouldn’t.  I knew that she should stay as close to the safety of the
window as she could, but she started shuffling forward like a slow moving
zombie in a bad 1970s film.

“You must help her!” my mom shouted at Killian.

“Which one?” he asked.

Mr. Smith turned to me, “Open up a portal, Maggie!  Open a
portal to The Dark Dimension!  Bring forth a genie to do my bidding!”

Listen, there are a mess of dimensions in the universe.  The
Other Side had enough teeth for my taste, but there were some dimensions that
held even nastier things.  Dimensions, like say, The Dark Dimension.  Rule
numero uno is that you leave that dimension alone.  But my hands raised up
against my will and I found myself gathering the energy to invite one of those
creatures over for poker night.

“Your necklace is filled, Isaac!” shouted my dad.  “You
can’t control this!”

“How helpful that you pointed that out!  I shall have to
create some room,” said Mr. Smith, pointing his guns, one at me and one at my
sister.  “You’ll only have time to save one of your daughters, William MacKay! 
Which will it be?  Choose wisely!"

"Stop!" cried my dad.

"Open the portal, Maggie!” ordered Mr. Smith.

The wind began swirling around me and the lightning
crackled.

“Maggie!  Don’t!” Killian yelled as he started to run.

Lightning struck my fingers as my mouth formed the words, “By
the power within me, I open a portal to the Dark Dimension!”

I screamed, lifting my forearms to the sky like I was some
sort of frickin’ messiah.  I saw the air start to shimmer.  Mr. Smith looked
thrilled to pieces.

But I had learned a thing or two from working with Killian
and those tricky elves.  When you make a wish, it's really important to make
sure you have all of the loop holes covered.  And Mr. Smith's command was not
tight.  That little voice inside my head had a couple suggestions for a few
extra words I could add. 

“I call forth the Genie Abad!  Come!  Obey the power of the
EMPRESS’S NECKLACE!” I called.

And that was when Mr. Smith fired both his guns.

But my family was already on it.

While Mr. Smith was distracted by my light show, Killian had
vaulted through the air on his magical pole.  He slammed into Mindy and knocked
her down.  The boards collapsed beneath them and, crashing, they fell through
to the porch below and disappeared beneath a pile of rubble.

Dad couldn’t outrun a bullet.  Instead, he threw me a transparent
piece of rock.  A very important piece of transparent rock.

The quartz comb.

It hit my hand and I held on.

The moment it touched me, the comb made me impervious to
all silver.  Including silver bullets.  Which is what Mr. Smith was firing.

His shot pinged harmlessly off my sternum, right over where
my heart is supposed to be.

The unfortunate effect for Mr. Smith was that the necklace
did not have the free bead that he needed to capture the genie I had just
called.

And, as karma would have it, the guy who showed up was the
very same genie I had bottled up.

I had told Genie Abad as we had stood in that alleyway that
I would try to help him find the necklace, and he didn't believe me.  And here
I had gotten it back without him having to salt the Earth or burn creation to
the ground.  Was I a team player or what? 

The genie's eyes were the first to appear.  They were slits
of rage.  The next thing to appear was his row of knife shaped teeth, parted
slightly as a growl emerged from his throat like a tiger getting ready to
pounce.  As his blue form emerged from the portal and solidified on the plane
of The Other Side, he just happened to land right in front of Mr. Smith, the
man who had tried to frame him, the man who was responsible for him getting
bottled, the man who just happened to have the Empress's necklace hanging
around his neck.

The wheels in Mr. Smith’s head finally caught up with current
events and he realized the genie he had been so anxious to enslave knew what he
was up to.  You could almost see Mr. Smith gulp through all his bearded double
chins.

And, what a shame, Mr. Smith had filled up all of the beads
with souls and most of them were useless ghosts. 

“I wish I had some fucking popcorn right now,” I heard my
dad say.

“You stole the necklace!” roared the genie.

“MacKay!  Open the portal!  Send this genie back to the
side that he belongs!  Seal it behind him so that he can never return!” cried
Mr. Smith as, hands shaking, he tried to reload his gun.  The genie was coming
at him fast.

"Which MacKay?" shouted back my dad.  "Cuz I
ain't doing shit."

"Maggie!  Maggie MacKay, shut the portal!  Get rid of
the genie!"

And because I was one of the greatest portal makers in all of
the universes, you know, next to my dad, AND I was still under the thrall of
the brimstone necklace, I had to do what Mr. Smith wanted.  But, unfortunately
for Mr. Smith, he didn't mention how fast he wanted it done, so I took my sweet
ol' time.

The genie reached out with his clawed fingers and ripped
the necklace from Mr. Smith’s throat.  Mr. Smith fell to the ground, in horror,
just as I got around to sucking the genie into my portal, never to be seen on
the Other Side again.  The genie glanced at me as he left.  Dare I say I saw a
glimmer of gratitude in those beady little eyes?  Probably not.  He was a genie,
after all.

But now some real serious shit was about to go down.

The stupor left me and I started swaying in place before
collapsing like a load of laundry.  My legs were like jello.  It was official. 
The world could end.  I was spent.  Mom ran over and wrapped me up in her arms.

I looked up as the binding dropped off the werepires and
the vampwolves.  And lordiedoo, they were not happy campers. 

They stood there on the battleground, hissing and growling
at each other, circling as if not quite sure who hated who more.

After a little discussion, though, it turned out that they all
hated Mr. Smith the best. 

They turned towards that sad, sorry little vampire man who
had tried to control the world.  A man who had, in fact, turned one of the most
powerful vampires in several worlds into a werepire.

A werepire who was now not under his control.

A sneer rippled across Vaclav’s lips.

Now, there was a brief moment when Vaclav noticed I was still
breathing.  I wouldn’t say he was happy to see me, but I could tell he wasn’t
going to eat me.  I would have liked to have pretended it was out of respect
for the fact I had released him from his thrall, but more likely it was just
because he wanted to tear into Mr. Smith more. 

But I still wanted to kill him.  I still wanted to kill him
a lot.  This was the vampire that tried to tear down the boundary between Earth
and The Other Side.  This was the vampire who partnered with my evil uncle. 
This was the vampire who sent his minions to kill me more times than I could
count and went after my family.

But I was beat.  I don't know how the werepires could still
stand after coming out of that thrall.  I don't think I could pull up my arm to
stake the guy if he fell on me.  And it pissed me off.

I think Mom must've read my mind, though, because she
smoothed back my hair and whispered, "It's okay.  You'll get him."

Vaclav paused for just a moment as he looked at me, and he then
hissed a promise, "We shall meet again, Maggie MacKay."

I gave him a little finger wave, “I’ll count the moments.”

Vaclav spat something phlegmy at his minions and pointed
his hand at Mr. Smith.  The chap fell to his knees and started begging as a
flock of werepires swept around him.  They took off into the sky, dangling him
by his feet and tossing him around like a basketball, you know, a slightly
terrified and totally uncooperative basketball.  Several of the werepires decided
this celebration deserved an escort, and they transformed into hairy bats and
took turns biting chunks of flesh out of poor, pitiful Isaac Smith.

The vampwolves, not wanting to be left out of all the fun, tore
out of town in hot pursuit, howling at the moon as they ran.

“Don’t forget to send a forwarding address, Mr. Smith!” I
said, “Rent is due in a week!”

Mom kissed my forehead, “Smartass.”

It felt so good to just lie there, but Dad was over at the
house, pulling large pieces of wood away from where Mindy and Killian fell.  I
decided I should probably check to see if they were still alive. Mom helped me
to my feet and held my elbow as I hobbled over.    

“They’re just fine,” insisted my mom.  “I saw this in the
tea leaves.  They're a little sore, but nothing worse than what I’ve seen you
and your dad come home with.”

I didn't see how.  Mindy and Killian had not just broken
through the ceiling, but the rotted boards of the porch had given way, too, and
they had fallen through the floorboards onto the ground beneath.  I was
expecting at least one of them was going to need a cast.

"Grab an end," said my dad as we got there.

I guess getting your soul chewed up by an evil, undead
mastermind bought a girl no sympathy. 

As we lifted the last board off the top of the hole, there
were Mindy and Killian, camped out on the rubble.

“Is it safe to come out yet?” she asked.

“Sure is, Mindy-lou,” said my dad, holding out his arms to
her.

She sat up and grasped both his hands as he lifted her and
walked her over to Mom.

I leaned over the hole and looked down at Killian.  He
rested his head in the crook of his arm and smiled a sleepy smile at me.

“Resting on the job again, Killian?”

“I find sleeping through battle is a lovely way to spend
it," he replied.  "I see you are not dead.  Well done.  I suppose this
means I can look forward to you trying to get me killed again in the future.”

“What can I say?  Some guys don’t have any luck.”

“Oh, I think perhaps one day I shall get lucky.”

“In your dreams, elf,” I said, holding out my hand to him.

He grasped it and let me pull him out of the hole.

“Thanks for saving my sister,” I said.

He brushed back a wisp of my hair, “What else are sidekicks
for?”

As we walked out into the center of Main Street, the ghosts
of Ghost Town began to gather in a clump and drift towards our group, their
figures flickering palely.  I knew from my mom's stories that the first rays of
the morning sun would make them invisible again, but for the moment, we could see
them all.

The sheriff stood at the front of the mob.  I brushed my
hands on my pants getting ready to shake his hand and then remembered you can't
do that with a ghost, so I just smiled and said, "Thank you.  You will
always have friends in the MacKay household."

And it was sincere.  Maggie MacKay, ghost-a-phobic magical tracker
was making peace with her childhood monsters.  I suppose stranger things have
happened.  I couldn't think of any, but I suppose there had to be something.

The sheriff started talking and motioning to the people
around him.  I stopped him, "I can't hear you.  Mom?"

She stepped forward as the sheriff continued and she translated
for us, "He said that he was just doing his job.  And he called you 'ma'am',
Maggie.  He's so polite, isn't he?  He says that they didn't like all of these
vampires and werewolves coming in and taking over their town and everyone is grateful
that we were here to clear them out."

The crowd gave a silent cheer, throwing their hats in the
air and do-si-doing in the street.

The sheriff held up his hands like he was trying to quiet
them down.  Personally, I would have preferred if they spoke up.  He looked at
his feet and kicked the dusty road like he had to gather up his courage.  He
pushed back his hat and motioned to the crowd. 

Mom began beaming and then shushed him, "Of course!  Of
COURSE!  Why, it would be my pleasure!  It is the least I can do."

"What's going on, Mom?" Mindy asked.

"We're going to have to be here just a little while
longer," she said, giving Mindy a kiss on the temple, "The sheriff said
the reason that everyone was so willing to lend a hand is that they are all
rather tired of being Ghost Town ghosts and they want to cross over.  Do you
girls think you can busy yourselves a bit while I help them out?"

I smiled and gave a little salute to the sheriff.  He was
one dead guy all right by me.  I socked Mindy in the arm, "Come on, sis.  One
of the most important lessons you'll learn in this tracking business is that
after you play, you have to pick up your toys."