Authors: Glynis Smy
Three panelled doors were closed onto the corridor and she wondered what was behind each one. Bowter -- the name he told her to address him by when in the house -- told her, one was the front parlour, one the back and the other was the dining room. Mr Arlington had opted to have his study upstairs, at the front of the building from where he could view the village and hillside while he worked. He was in finance and needed a quiet environment in which to work.
‘This is the back entrance to the bottom of the stairs. Please use this route every time you come. Now let us get you working.’
The closer to the top they climbed, Maggie became more and more nervous. She tried to focus on the decorative wooden balustrades twisted and carved with flowers. She did not envy the girl who had to dust them on a daily basis. Their pattern was a very intricate one.
‘The master’s room, Mrs A’s, guest one, guest two. Bathroom, stairs to staff quarters. Guest room three and here we are, the nursery.’ Bowter reeled off the names of each doorway they passed, and Maggie’s head swivelled from side to side as she made a swift note of each one. She did not want to walk into one by mistake.
Bowter tapped on the door of the noisiest room in the house. Nathaniel was pitch perfect with his scream. Maggie could not believe her ears. He was most definitely alive and well. Her breasts tingled, she unbound them when Jacob told her the news, and the milk was ready to be expressed.
‘Come in, come in.’ the family nanny stood holding a bundle of clothing. Quality shawls wrapped around the babe’s shoulders. ‘Thank goodness you have arrived. It has been an arduous night, I can tell you. This child is a strong willed one. It is no wonder the fairies put you in the bushes; you were too noisy, little prince. Mrs Sawbury, firstly I am so sorry you lost your little girl. Your husband told Dukes when he sent out for a wet nurse. A tragic event for you. A blessing for us.’
Maggie stood by the doorway. Bowter beckoned her further into the room but her legs would not move. She wanted to turn and run. The moment had arrived and Maggie knew the minute she held her son again, she would never be able to let go. It was time for her to confess. As she opened her mouth to speak the nanny spoke first, and with gentle encouragement, Maggie stayed quiet.
‘Maggie, I can call you Maggie, can I?’Maggie nodded her head. ‘My dear girl, I know you must be saddened by the task ahead of you. Have you done this before?’ Maggie shook her head. ‘Well then,’ continued the nanny, ‘Let us start by getting you comfortable. Come and sit by the fire, you can hold the baby and start when you are ready. Thank you Bowter, I think we will be fine now.’
The butler left the room, and nudged Maggie forward as he did so. He gave her a reassuring smile and closed the door behind him. The cries from Nathaniel sound louder with the door closed and Maggie could bear it no longer. She removed her shawl and placed it over the back of an oak, nursing chair. The room was warm and she rolled up her sleeves.
‘I know this may sound rude and rather personal, but you did wash- er- around the area this morning did you not?’
Maggie, still at a loss for words, nodded her reply. She sat in the seat and held out her arms. The nanny placed her son in her arms. It was a momentous occasion, one Maggie would never forget. His warm body moulded into hers. She inhaled his sweet perfume and smiled down at him. She stroked his lips, pursed in readiness for another bout of screaming. She slowly unbuttoned the front of her frock, and bodice. She was a little embarrassed in front of the nanny and the woman had the good grace to recognise the situation. She went to the other side of the room and busied herself with the laundry.
He drew up his knees, and she could feel his tiny body tense. The screams, his red face and her readiness to serve the one she loved brought forth her maternal instinct.
‘Shush, little one. It’s all right, the cows have done their work, now give me a chance to do mine.’ She spoke in hushed tones and his screams subsided to gentle sobs.
Maggie teased his lips with her nipple, a droplet of fluid leaked onto his lips. He opened his eyes. Mother and son stared at each other and love reflected both ways. Maggie hoped instinct told him this was his mother, he could feed from her, and she would nourish him. He mouthed at the teat and Maggie’s stomach tightened. He suckled noisily and she knew instinct had told him.
The nanny handed her a piece of muslin, should she need it, and stared down at the feeding child.
‘My, you have the knack for this, Maggie. A thank you to our God you have the milk. His lordship there surely appreciates it. Do you know this is the first time he has been quiet since he arrived. I am normally good at settling the little ones, but this little fellow did not want to know. But you - look at the pair of you. God in his wisdom gave you each other to heal your pain.’ She smiled kindly at Maggie.
Maggie smiled back, and then looked down at her son. Each moment with him was precious, and she could feel the tears of passion, love and joy rise up. She found her voice and responded.
‘He is a beautiful child. I-I, understand he is not Mrs Arlington’s baby.’ She had to say something, or it would look odd. ‘My husband mentioned something about him being abandoned.’
‘Hm, poor thing was not so fortunate to have madam as his natural mother. Abandoned he was. Dumped into a hedge by all accounts. It was his lucky day when this family brought him home, I can tell you. Mrs Arlington lost her only child, Leonard, when he was just two years old. A dear child and it nigh on broke my heart when he died. The family are meeting today to discuss this little one’s future. My prayers are for him to stay. Nanny will look after you, won’t she, little man?’ She stroked his head so tenderly, Maggie wanted to say ‘thank you for caring so much for my son’.
‘Madam has instructed Master Leonard’s baby items be brought down and into the nursery. A trunk of clothing is being washed and aired as we speak. It will be good to see the nursery used properly again. I was on the brink of despair. Mrs Arlington told me I could remain here until I found a new position or decided to retire. They have been most generous. Even if it is for a short few weeks, it is good to feel useful again.’
A tear released itself. Maggie could no longer control herself. ‘He certainly is a fortunate child. There is a bright future for him in this home. I wish-I hope-’ she stammered over her words.
The older woman moved to her and touched her shoulder.
‘Ah there, do not cry girl, be grateful you can help. He will surely help you recover you wait and see. Now we need to express from you for two more feeds. As I understand it, you are coming down for the late afternoon one. Good, good, he should be content tonight.’
Maggie sat rocking, while Nathaniel sated his hunger.
The room was cosy, and the atmosphere was comfortable. Maggie was disappointed when Nathaniel stopped sucking, and settled into a contented sleep. She lifted him over to his crib, and carefully laid him down. She removed his dirty nappy, and adjusted his white gown. She wrapped him securely and watched his chest rise and fall, his eyelids twitch and his rosebud mouth make imaginary sucking movements.
‘Sleep well, Nathaniel. Sleep tight, little one. I will come back tonight.’
The nanny stood staring at her, and said nothing for a moment or two. She had a puzzled look on her face.
‘I’m sorry, had you wanted to lay him down?’Maggie asked.
‘No, no that’s fine. He is settled and that is the important part. I am going to have an hour’s rest before his next feed. I think I have earned it. Can I ask something, Maggie?’She wrung her hands as if nervous.
‘If I can answer, I will,’ Maggie said.
‘Well, when you laid him down, you called him Nathaniel, but I thought you lost a daughter. And Mrs and Mrs Arlington have not named him yet. It puzzled me.’
Maggie knew she had to maintain control and not falter with her answer. She had made a mistake but had to recover from it without creating suspicion.
‘Did I really? The emotions must have gotten to me, forgive me. Nathaniel is the name I gave my first son. I have lost five children you see, but had only one son. Holding Mrs Arlington’s child made me think of him, I must have said his name aloud. I am sorry. I do hope I haven’t caused offence.’
Maggie put on a humble face. She could kick herself for her error.
‘Oh, you poor girl. It must be dreadful to lose one child, but five? Nathaniel is a strong name. It brings to mind a handsome man. Think nothing of it. I would have done the same thing in your place. Now run along, and we will see you before sunset. Thank you for helping us, Maggie.’
‘It was an honour. I will be back later. Goodbye.’
Maggie grabbed her shawl. She needed to get out of the room before her heart burst. It was full of joy and other emotions. The boards creaked as she moved along the corridor, and she made another mental note of the room she had just left.
Downstairs the staff were cleaning the many decorations and floors. Maggie slipped down the backstairs and into the kitchen. Cook was rolling out pastry on the large table Maggie had sat at the previous hour.
Mrs Bowter looked up and gave Maggie a beaming smile.
‘How did it go, lass? You feel alright, need a hot drink?’She rolled as she talked.
‘He took to me straight away and is sleeping sound now. I will not stop for tea; I have to get back to the farm. It is a trek back and forth in between chores, so I have to get the timing right.’
‘Hold fire, Dukes is going the other side of the village, I am sure he can drop you off at the bottom of Fen lane. If you are quick, you can ask him. Don’t be shy. I might not see you later, so take care and I will see you in the morning.’ She went back to her baking and Maggie slipped out into the yard.
She asked a young boy cleaning boots where Dukes could be found. He pointed to a man hitching a horse to a small cart.
‘Mr Dukes?’Maggie enquired of the extremely handsome, dark-haired male before her. He had a healthy glow. His shirtsleeves were rolled up and she could see the solid muscles on his forearms. He was most certainly pleasing to the eye. Despite her endeavour to refrain from looking, her imagination moved with each ripple of his muscles. Strong arms to hold a lonely woman.
Stop it at once. He is probably no better than all men-disloyal. Concentrate. Take your eyes off him.
‘No mister, just plain Dukes. And what can I do for you fair lady?’ The man continued to organise the driving reigns.
‘Well, Dukes. Cook said you might be going by Fen lane, and I would appreciate a ride home. I live at Windtop Farm. I would normally walk, but I have chores to do, and be back to feed the baby at the end of the afternoon. Would you oblige me, sir?’
Dukes stopped what he was doing and looked at Maggie. Deep brown eyes dressed with long dark lashes stared back at her. The man turned back to his horse, patted its nose and whispered in its ear. He made a play of listening to the horse. He turned back to Maggie and grinned. His smile was wide and white, and his eyes glistened.
‘Roman here said we should offer the lady a ride. She is doing the house a great service. So jump up, I am leaving now.’
Maggie could not help but giggle when he gave a sweeping bow and assisted her onto the cart. They crossed the village green and she could see the tavern was in full swing. She hoped Jacob would be negotiating over ale and brandy, his favourite pastime although he referred to it business negotiations. If he had settled into the tavern, Maggie would be able to rush through the rest of her chores, have a rest, wash and be back holding her son in good time.
Please let him be in the tavern. Please let him be in the tavern.
Maggie’s thoughts went around her head in rhythm with the cartwheels as they turned at a leisurely pace.
‘You are quiet. A penny for your thoughts, Maggie Sawbury.’
Maggie laughed. ‘My thoughts are not worth a penny, sir. If you must know I was enjoying the sounds of peace and quiet. This is a pleasant rest for me. There is no work involved until I reach home.’
‘A rest, eh? No resting for you. Look at those chestnuts on the ground. We can’t be having them go to waste. I am partial to chestnuts.’
Maggie looked to where the chestnuts had fallen from a well laden tree, and Dukes pulled his horse to a stop.
‘Cook loves chestnuts. She would crown me if I passed by and ignored these beauties. Come on, we will collect a few for you at the same time. Hot and roasted is how I like mine.’
Maggie jumped down and joined him. They collected a half sack full between them, and Dukes loaded another with a generous portion for her.
‘I love hot chestnuts on a frosty eve. Jacob, my husband is not so keen. He likes his mashed with a slice of belly pork and onions.’
‘Well, you have sophisticated taste like me, Maggie. On the next frosty night, I will enjoy mine and think of you enjoying yours. Now let us get you home. What time are you to return for feeding the new king of the house?’He helped her into the cart again.
Maggie was bemused by his good manners, and his light hearted banter was pleasant. She relaxed in his company. Although she was a little embarrassed that he knew what she was doing at the big house.
‘I have to be back before sunset. It is going to make my days longer, but it’s a task I am happy to endure.’
She smiled, but her smile dropped when she recognised the place they had reached.
Dukes looked at her but said nothing. He clipped his tongue and the horse broke into a trot.
‘We had better get a move on then, or your day will become night.’
The rest of the journey had silent moments, but Dukes kept a flow of entertaining chatter, and the dark moment that had clouded her mind passed.
‘If you wait here at four o’clock. I will give you a lift when I pass by. Should it be four fifteen, I will drive straight on, and accept you have made your own way. Agreed?’
‘That would be wonderful Dukes, thank you. My husband will not be able to help me today, so I would be most grateful.’