Maggie's Child (19 page)

 Stephen shook hands with Jacob, and muttered a few words. When he shook Maggie’s hand she took the opportunity to speak and complimented the beauty of the hall.

‘The decorations are glorious. The building is beautiful, especially its ornate carvings and ceiling roses, Mr Avenell. You have a splendid family home.’

‘If your husband approves madam, I should be happy to give you a tour of the library and billiard room, there are many beautiful carvings in each one.’ Stephen looked to Jacob.

‘Do not put yourself out for someone who does not appreciate classic beauty sir. My wife is ignorant in these things, despite her attempts to impress you. By all means if you think you can educate her in any way, show her this delightful home of yours.’ Jacob spoke with a bored tone to his voice. Maggie could second guess his thoughts. He was only interested in the free ale and food. If the squire’s son was so foolish he wanted to spend his evening showing off, then so let him.

‘Father, you would have no objections if I share the history and secrets of our great home, with Mistress Sawbury and party would you?’Stephen leaned around his sister to communicate with his parents.

‘Not at all, son. We are proud of our ancestral home and our village should be allowed to appreciate its beauty. Thank you, Mrs Sawbury, for showing interest. Do enjoy the evening.’ He turned back to greet more arrivals.

‘I will seek you out when we are finished here, Mrs Sawbury. Lizzie, Mason, enjoy yourselves.’ Stephen smiled at Maggie.

She marvelled at the way he had managed to make a tour of the home sound a casual affair. Her heart was pounding. Jacob had moved away from them and was gesticulating with one arm towards the ceiling. He was most probably boasting about his wife being selected for a guided tour. He had a way to dismiss her as an idiot in front of the gentry, and then to use her as a boasting tool in front of his farming colleagues.

Music and laughter filled the room, and after a speech from the squire the merriment began. Lizzie had found her friends from the other farm, and Jacob was in the midst of a debate about the flavours of hops and fine beers. Maggie spoke with one or two other women, and found a seat to one side of the room. She marvelled at the size of the windows and inglenook fire.

‘I see your foot tapping; the music has touched your soul Mrs Sawbury.’ Maggie turned to see Mrs Avenell standing close by. She stood up and despite her short stature, she felt tall against Stephen’s mother.

‘Music has a way of lifting our spirits, madam. I agree it touches one’s soul. When I lost our last child, our fifth, all I wanted to do was hear music. Of course, I could not, given the circumstances.’ Maggie could hear her tongue running away with her, but Hannah Avenell appeared not to notice. She smiled and nodded.

‘I am sorry you have lost so many children. It is through God’s good grace we have ours, we are blessed indeed. Do you have any at all?’

‘Alas no. The New Year may favour us, we can only pray,’ Maggie replied.

‘Hello Mother, I have come to round up those who wish to visit the library. Are you going to join us? Father say’s not, he is going to join the men and then retire to his study. He is not feeling at all well.’ Stephen yet again managed to make Maggie’s heart flutter just by appearing alongside his mother.

‘No Stephen, if you will excuse me, I will say hello to a few more of our guests and join your father. We are not as young as we were. You know the history of the great hall well enough, you can manage alone I am sure. Goodnight Mrs-em, Mrs-goodnight.’ His mother moved away, her wide gown swishing as she walked.

‘Your mother is lovely. It was a pleasure to meet her. Your parents have given us a grand party.’ Maggie now turned her attention to Stephen.

‘They follow my great, great grandfather’s tradition. When the house was built, he threw a party at New Year to thank those who had assisted during the building. He worked on a lot of the property himself. Some of the wood carvings are his, it is said he could bring a twig alive as a carving with his whittling knife. Are you ready to view some of them?’

‘I would like it very much. Thank you.’

‘Meet me in the entrance hall, near the staircase. I will not be but five minutes.’ He moved towards another group of people.

Maggie stood in the hall as instructed. While she waited for Stephen and the rest of the group, she browsed the paintings and sipped wine from a crystal glass. Handsome men, attractive women and several God forgot to grant a smile, stared down at her from their heavily framed canvasses. They fancied they knew she had no place in their home. After her second glass she felt light headed, the whole event was exhilarating.

‘Sorry to detain you. Shall we?’ Stephen greeted her, but he was alone.

‘Where are the others?’ she asked.

‘Others? Oh, Maggie there are no others. I made my parents and your husband believe there would be a group. I had to find some way of being alone with you tonight.’ Stephen stopped talking, a young maid walked by with a tray of glasses filled to the brim of warm cider. He took two from the girl, and handed one to Maggie.

‘I cannot drink more wine, thank you. I have had two glasses already tonight. Your father is most generous. Now I think I should return to the party. If the library tour is not going ahead.’

‘Nonsense. If you have no wish to tour inside, maybe fresh air would be to your taste?’Stephen indicated to large doors at the end of the hall, they led out onto the gardens.

‘Yes, fresh air after so much alcohol would be most acceptable. Thank you.’

She selected her shawl from a large collection upon a table. Stephen assisted her and wrapped it around her shoulders. She glanced around quickly, they were breaking all rules and she ran the risk of tarnishing her name. There was nobody about, and they slipped out into the sharp bite of the frosty night air.

The sky was free from cloud and pitch black, with a mass of stars scattered in swirling patterns. Their path was lit by a clear moon. She and Stephen walked in silence through the orangery and around the perimeter of the building. Behind the main house were stables, staff buildings and a granary barn. Both knew they were heading there. No words were needed; the chemistry between them dictated it was the path to travel.

Inside the barn, the warmth from bales of straw welcomed them. Still no words had been spoken. Stephen moved towards her and cupped her face with his hand. She allowed all defences to break down. She had no will power to fight against right and wrong, she just gave into her feelings. The kiss bruised her lips without pain. Her insides rejoiced, they found freedom and danced. Blood surged around her body collecting new sensations as it flowed. Upon each new kiss it released them into an area of which Maggie was fully aware. Never had she experienced the delicious tingle they created. Tonight his kisses held a new passion.

‘You look stunning tonight,’ Stephen murmured in her ear. She tilted her neck sideways as he moved her hair to one side and bestowed small tender kisses up it. His hands held her shoulders and Maggie stood completely mesmerised by his every move.

He led her over to a stack of hay bales arranged between walls of straw. For a brief minute Maggie wondered if he had arranged them for this very moment. When his hands slid to her bodice and she felt the release of the ties, she dismissed all other thoughts from her mind. For each hook he released, the lower onto the bales they sank. Her heart pounded in her chest, it was the only sound she could hear aside from his breath in her ear.

Helpless and unwilling to break the spell he had cast, Maggie allowed Stephen full reign over her body. There was no turning back, she wanted him and her conscience had no say in the matter.

Their gentle coupling was a sin she was prepared to live with, Stephen moved inside her with gentle speed. No coarse words left his mouth, only tender words of endearment. Her body was receptive, she moved to his tune, danced in unison with his rhythm. She closed her eyes and gave an involuntary cry; each new sensation had burst from its shell inside of her. She asked God to forgive her the moment, to allow her this one joy in her life.

Guilt could knock at her door forever, this was one time she would never open it and allow herself to feel disgraced. This was meant to be - they were meant to be.

‘Are you well?’Stephen sat and arranged his jacket back into place. Maggie nodded, she felt shy but still no regret.

‘I am quite well, thank you. You took me to a place I never knew existed. Thank you for showing me love, and what it should be like.’ She reached over and kissed his cheek.

‘I will take you to that place every night when my father dies. I will come for you. Run Sawbury off the farm and take you under my wing. We will be together for always.’ His lips crushed hers once again. His hand cupped her breast and again Maggie was swept away with the magic of the moment.

They pulled away from each other and Maggie watched Stephen brush straw away from his jacket.

‘I will wait for that day. A lifetime of your love is worth waiting for, Stephen. Hold me once more. Love me again.’

Stephen shook his head. ‘We really should be getting back. Should anyone ask, the library ceiling rose is painted pastel green and my Grandfather’s initials, GRA, are carved into one petal.’ Stephen stood and helped her to her feet. He kissed her with the same passion as before; he stroked her hair, and then moved outside. He beckoned her all was clear.

On their walk back, Maggie could feel the warm dampness between her legs. A reminder of will power loss. Still she felt no remorse. The time they had spent together was too beautiful to regret. She so desperately wanted to drag him back to repeat their coupling. Her desire shocked her.

Back at the hall they went their separate ways. Maggie went to Jacob and informed him of the library information.

‘Go away woman, I am discussing things of which have far more interest than ceiling roses.’ He turned his back on her. Embarrassed, Maggie walked away from the group. For the rest of the evening she spent the time mixing with other women, dancing with friends and shivering over a delicious memory.

While taking a turn on the dance floor she watched Stephen move around the room. He had a way with the ladies. She could see him bow and laugh with many. It took all her will not to rush over and pull him onto the dance floor just to feel his arms around her waist again. Each smile he gave another Maggie was reminded of the ones he had given her. The love they had for each other could not be denied. When they met next they would have to discuss their future. Even if they had to leave Redgrave it would be worth the scandal. Maggie knew then she needed to speak to him again. When he stood in the corner of the room would be a good time to approach him. Her eyes followed him around waiting for the moment. She was disappointed when he left the room but noted as he did so he looked back and gave a slight nod to someone close by. Maggie caught sight of a young dark haired girl from another farm. The girl glanced around and slipped out of the room, the same way Maggie had done, not two hours before. Suspicion arrived with full force. Surely Stephen had not abused their friendship?

Jealousy does not become you, Maggie. It is a coincidence. Go to him. Declare your love.

Maggie made her excuses and left the ladies with whom she had been discussing fabric colours. As she walked into the hall Stephen was nowhere to be seen. Two shadows moving across the lawns told her all she needed to know. Still she couldn’t stop walking. They moved through the orangery and headed for the granary barn. Maggie held back, she knew where their final destination would be, there was no point in hurrying. She stood outside and inhaled the sweet smell of hay.

Muffled voices became clearer and she heard the words Stephen had whispered to her earlier. They tore her apart.

‘You look stunning tonight.’

Heartbreak slipped through the cracks in her armour. She had been used as a toy; his plaything.

Maggie turned around and ran along the pathway into the Orangery.  Grief-stricken, she took a few moments to compose herself. A feeling of disgust and confusion overwhelmed her, and then she became angry. Stephen had been so clever drawing her in, making her feel as if she was the only woman in his life. She had risked her marriage -- and knowing Jacob, probably her life -- tonight.

You foolish, foolish woman. Take this as a lesson. Get back inside before you are missed. Pull yourself together, Maggie Sawbury.

 She dried her tears and went back inside. She moved around among friends, but the joy of the event for Maggie had disappeared.

She was relieved when the clock struck midnight and at one o’clock the evening ended.  Stephen and his sister stood accepting thank you wishes and watched variety of transport clattered its way out of the grounds. Maggie said hers to the young woman, and Stephen looked for his. She gave him a look that spoke volumes.

‘Good evening and thank you. The young lady from Peye’s farm and I both enjoyed the library tour.’

She said the words slowly and deliberately so he understood he had been found out. He had the good grace to look sheepish and Maggie was sure he understood. All ties had been severed. Maggie knew he read from that one look she had portrayed, he would no longer be welcome in her life.

On their arrival home, Jacob fumbled beneath her nightgown. Alcohol took away his ability to satisfy himself. He fell back into a snoring heap. Maggie lay awake, her pride insulted. No man would ever have the pleasure of her body again, not even him. She would find a way of preventing his nightly attentions. She had been used for the last time.

***

March 1856

The weeks went by and Maggie sensed the message her body was sending her was an awkward one. This was to be her punishment, a reminder of New Year’s evening. There was no doubt in her mind whose child she was carrying. Jacob had not ventured near her since that night. She had to move quickly and convince him that he had performed the act of procreation on New Year’s Day or her sin would find her out.