Magicalamity (25 page)

“She’d have wanted you to celebrate tonight,” Dahlia said.

Dad tried to smile. “You’re right, I mustn’t spoil the mood. Thank you, my lord; I’ll have a small Rheingold Rocket.”

“Call me Plato—ice and lemon?”

Terence had a guitar, and he began to sing a plaintive love song he had translated from the bat language. The great crowd was quieter now. Hundreds of fires glowed in the darkness. Tom sat on the grass, leaning against his dad. Jonas was thrilled to be back with his son, but while he listened to the song, he was far away, thinking about something that made him very sad.

He snapped out of it when Milly finished being a politician and joined them at the campfire. She had changed out of her wedding-and-burial dress back into her borrowed jumpsuit, and Jonas poured her a glass of fairy beer.

“I think the Realm’s got a decent leader at last,” he told her. “No offense, Pindar—but Milly’s the perfect Falconer for the job.”

“There were no other Falconers,” Milly said. “When my memory came back I knew that it couldn’t be Pindar. Oh, I remembered all sorts of things!” She smiled at both boys, making her face very pretty and sweet in the firelight. “Have you told them about Clover?”

“No,” Jonas said, very quietly. He bowed his head. “I couldn’t bear to.”

“Clover Falconer was my second or third cousin,” Milly said, “and my very dear friend. Her father, Trajan Falconer, was a decent man who fell out with my ghastly brother.”

“Oh yes,” Lorna muttered. “The gnome-bombs!”

“After Tiberius killed her father,” Milly went on, “Clover was very poor—she worked as a governess for the children of one of Tiberius’s mistresses. When she had any time off, she used to visit me in college—I was sharing digs with Iris.”

“Clover was very pretty,” Iris said. “Luckily she didn’t look like her father, who had a terrible Falconer nose. Her mother was a Cobweb and they’re a much better-looking family.”

“Anyway,” Milly went on, “Clover and Jonas fell in love. Of course I was disappointed that he hadn’t fallen in love with ME, but I couldn’t hold it against her—poor thing, she was so happy! But my brother’s vile wife had already decided to sell her handsome brother to the highest bidder, and she didn’t want him to marry a poor governess. So they married in secret.”

“Good grief, I didn’t know you actually married Clover!” Lorna gasped. “You should’ve told me! I would’ve sent you a present!”

“Your head was too full of Abdul,” Milly said, smiling. “And it would have been too risky. I knew about it because I helped them.”

“You were a very good friend to us,” Jonas said. Tom couldn’t see his face, but his voice was choked.

“For a few years they were very happy,” Milly said. “They had a little cottage in Hopping Hill, where they ran an excellent delicatessen.”

“Another deli!” Tom cried.

“Yes, he was always great with food. And the kids loved Clover’s exploding buns. But then Dolores and Tiberius decided to get their wicked hands on Hopping Hill. They ordered me to marry Jonas, and thought I’d go along with it because I was in love with him. Then they found out about the secret marriage. Jonas was taken off to prison, and Clover—” She broke off to sigh. “Well, when I asked Dolores what had happened to Clover, she just showed me her wedding ring and a lock of hair, and said she’d been vaporized.”

Dad made a coughing sound that could have been a strangled sob. In the darkness Tom felt for his hand, and Dad squeezed his fingers gratefully.

“So I helped Jonas escape to the mortal world.”

“You took a huge risk,” Iris said. “I had no idea you loved him that much!”

“You’re a typical fairy, Iris; you don’t understand about love. I wanted Jonas to be free.”

Dad murmured, “I’ve never thanked you properly.”

“I haven’t finished!” Milly said. “You went to the mortal world and opened your shop, eventually meeting your mortal wife.”

“Sophie,” Jonas said sofly. He reached out to stroke the jar of sun-dried tomatoes. “I thought I could never be happy again, and then I found her and we had our demisprite.” He smiled at Tom.

“I didn’t get round to telling the court the real reason for my murder,” Milly went on to say. She gazed round at them all solemnly. “He did it because I found out about the baby.”

There was a silence.

“Baby?” Jonas whispered.

“Brace yourself, my dear Jonas. Clover wasn’t vaporized.”

“She … survived the lightning storm?”

“Yes, because she sneezed just before the attack and fell into the fridge—poor dear, she was always tripping over those enormous feet! She survived and went into hiding. And then she found out that she was pregnant.”

Lorna spluttered on her beer. “Pregnant?”

“She told me,” Milly said, “because we were still in contact. I’m so sorry, Jonas—we couldn’t let you know! It would’ve been instant death for both of us! A few months later one of Terence’s bat-cousins brought me a
message; the baby had been born, and poor Clover had died—oh, Jonas, my poor dear!”

In the shadows, Tom blinked away a tear. His dad was crying softly, and he wished he could comfort him; the Realm was a cruel place.

“Dolores and Tiberius couldn’t have children of their own,” Milly said. “They brought a curse on themselves by stretching the old law too far. They tried everything, including things I won’t talk about in front of these boys, but nothing worked. And then Dolores heard that Clover was still alive and about to have a child.”

“Did they hurt her?” asked Jonas.

“The bat who brought the message was with her when she died.” Milly’s voice was gentle. “She had time to bless her baby boy and cover him with protection-charms. She loved her baby very much, and that’s the best protection there is.”

They were all quiet. The fire crackled as Tom’s dad wept. The three godmothers were crying too. Tom tried to digest this incredible story. His dad’s first wife had had a baby boy, and that meant he had a half brother. That explained why he’d always had a sense that someone was missing.

“My son!” Dad cried suddenly. “What happened to my son?”

“I just told you.” Milly blew her nose and refilled her glass with beer. “My brother and his wife stole him.”

Suddenly it was all so obvious that Tom almost laughed. “Pindar!” he cried. “Dad—it’s Pindar!”

Jonas and Pindar gaped at each other, their mouths hanging open in identical looks of amazement.

Lorna chuckled. “Well, now we know why you two are peas in a pod! The old Pindar looked like Clover’s dad—didn’t I say that dip in the handsome-vat brought out his Harding side?”

“My boy!” Jonas murmured. “My first boy! Now I know why I had that sense that I’d left something behind in the Realm!” He hugged Pindar. “Forgive me, Pindar—I wish I’d known. I should have been there to take care of you—I loved your poor mother so much!”

Pindar was trying hard not to cry, but happiness began to dawn in his astonished face.

“I’m so proud of you,” Dad said. He put one of his arms round Tom and hugged his two sons hard. “Both of you!”

Tom felt a huge balloon of happiness swelling inside him. “Now he has to live with us! And if he’s living in the mortal world he’ll have to go my new school! And help out in the deli—arggh!”

Something suddenly swept him off his feet and whisked him upside down, and Tom nearly landed in the fire. He was so happy that he had automatically turned a somersault in midair.

It made everyone laugh.

“Sorry!”

“Oh, don’t apologize—I feel exactly the same!” Jonas shot into the air and did a showy triple flip. “Wow, I didn’t know I could still do that!”

“You’d better forget it again,” Iris said. “It won’t go down well with the mortals.”

“Oh garters!” Jonas swore suddenly. He looked at Tom. “What on earth are we going to tell your mum?”

“That needn’t be a problem,” Clarence said. He had nodded off the minute Jay had stopped singing, and Tom had almost forgotten he was there. “I can arrange it so that she knows just enough when she wakes up to set her mind at rest.”

Tom thought about the meetings he’d had with Mum in his dreams, when she had been so happy and so wise. He was longing to see her. “I think she might know a bit more than you think.”

Jonas caressed the nearby jar of sun-dried tomatoes. “I wish I could see her now, but her molecules would never survive in this atmosphere. I’m sure she’ll understand why I never told her about my fairy background.”

“She’s been sending Tom some very useful messages,” Lorna said thoughtfully. “The fact is, mortals can be jolly clever. And they’re such a lot nicer than fairies.”

“You’re a nice fairy,” Tom said. “She’s been a great godmother, Dad.”

“Oh, go on!” Lorna said gruffly, though she looked pleased. “My magic wasn’t up to much.”

“I chose you because you had something else,” Jonas said. “A kind heart.”

“Quite right, darling,” Dahlia said graciously. “I would never have got involved at all, if it hadn’t been for Lorna.”

“Neither would I,” Iris said stiffly—she was always stiff when saying something nice, as if it had to be pulled out of her with tweezers. “Thanks to Lorna and Tom and their mortal values—well, I started to feel bad about my school. I’m going to sell it and move back to the Realm.”

“Iris has agreed to be my private secretary,” Milly said cheerfully. “We’ll be sharing a flat, just like in the old days.”

Iris giggled suddenly. “I feel twenty years younger!”

“Girls,” Dad said, “you’ve all been fantastic. I’d like to propose a toast.” He raised his glass. “To Lorna, Iris and Dahlia—the best godmothers in the universe!”

They all drank and the three godmothers looked very pleased, even Iris.

A massive explosion ripped through the air above them—but it was an explosion of fireworks, the most spectacular display Tom had ever seen. The crowd broke
into ooohs and aaahs of wonder as the fireworks made huge bouquets of fiery flowers, in colors so bright that they almost hurt.

“It’s a gift to the dragon from the genies,” Milly said. “To thank her for freeing the prisoners in Ali Kazoum’s desert fortress.”

The climax came with a brilliant firework dragon and the word
WELCOME
. The cheers in the arena were tremendous.

More words blazed across the sky:
LORNA, WILL YOU MARRY ME AGAIN?

“Great garters!” gasped Lorna. “Abdul!”

People in the crowd started to chant: “Lorna! Lorna!”

Her craggy face turned bright red, though she tried to frown. “Impossible!”

Another message flashed into the sky.
SORRY I SOLD YOUR MOTHER
.

“Oh, THAT’S what he did!” Dahlia cried. “My dear Lorna, don’t you think you should get over it?”

“He still loves you,” Tom felt he should say. “He thinks you’re a queen among women.”

Lorna turned a darker shade of red. “I’ll think about it.”

“It’s a very good time for getting married,” declared Judge Plato. “Dahlia, will you marry me, and make a springtime in the barren winter of my life?”

“Yes, darling, like a shot,” Dahlia said. “My son
will be so relieved that he doesn’t have to support my luxurious lifestyle! We all know he thinks old fairies suck.”

“Well, I don’t,” Tom said, smiling round at his three godmothers. “I think they rock.”

K
ate
S
aunders has written lots of books for adults and children. She lives in London with her son and her three cats.