Maid to Love (Man Maid Book 3) (14 page)

“Was it better than eating my cupcakes?” he asked with that twinkle in his eye.

“Yes, it was fantastic…. Can you give me sex again? Please?” she asked, wrapping her arm around his wide chest and trying to pull him back on top of her.

By the time they finally fell asleep it was late but she couldn’t remember ever sleeping so soundly. She woke the next morning from the feel of him climbing back into her bed, and she couldn’t keep the grin away as she scooted close to him.

“Where’d you go?” she asked, trying to shake off the blissful effects of good sleep…and lots of sex.

“I let Buck outside to use the restroom and then let him back in, started some coffee and called to let the guys know I made it back okay. Someone distracted me so much I forgot to do that yesterday,” he said, pulling her over to him and kissing her temple.

She laid her head on his thick chest. This was so perfect.
The way making love was supposed to be.
April had been right. Jess, too, for that matter. Experiencing this with the right person made all the difference. Ian hadn’t taken anything from her. He had given her such intense pleasure that if not for the fluttering in her stomach just from lying next to him, she would wonder if it had been real.

“As much as I’m loving you in my arms right now, I have to know,” he said quietly. “Why did you push me away this last time? I would do anything for you, Courtney. I wasn’t trying to pressure you or be…needy. Something was wrong, and I knew it. I just wanted to help.”

“I had to ID the two men who attacked Aunt Corrine, and I wasn’t sure I could do it. Having to think about that and relive it in order to remember their faces…it was almost too much. I just lost it. Instead of falling into you, I fell apart. I’m so sorry, Ian.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I hope the next time shit gets bad, you’ll consider letting me help,” he whispered.

“That’s the thing. I was so confused. I’m remembering the single most horrifying thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life and at the same time…”

“What, beautiful? Tell me,” he said.

“At the same time, I was thinking of you. How wonderful you are to me. I started remembering your passionate kisses and soft touch…and realizing how much I wanted you,” she replied. “I was comparing how different you are from them. You’re gentle, kind and loving…not angry and violent…even though you are a professional fighter. Then I just thought how wrong that was…to be thinking what I was thinking. Then you kept calling and I was torn between wanting you and needing to remember that time in my life so I could fight for Aunt Corrine by identifying those men, and I just snapped.”

“You thought you weren’t reacting the way you should have?” he asked.

“Yeah, exactly,” she said.

“After all that stuff went down overseas and we were debriefing, I kept waiting on Rusty to just go off on my dumb ass. When the response I expected from him never came I had a real hard time dealing with that, because I felt like I deserved whatever hell he handed out and yet he never handed out anything. Still hasn’t to this day. And the only way I could really deal with it was to chalk it up as being his way of punishing me…
not to punish me.
He probably figured there was nothing he could do or say that would make me feel any worse than I already did and that was my reprimand. If so, then he was right,” he said. “Maybe those thoughts were your mind’s way of realizing that you’ve punished yourself long enough. You were a child. There was nothing you could have done that would have resulted in a different outcome…only a worse one. So whatever thoughts you were having, or that you still have, aren’t wrong. Even if they aren’t by the book kind of feelings, they aren’t wrong. So go ahead and feel them. Just don’t shut me out in the process.”

“The two men are already in prison from separate attacks on other women. I’m going to testify before a grand jury in two weeks about what I saw that day. If they approve the charges against the two men, it will likely go to trial. That means there will be depositions and eventually I will have to testify against them,” she whispered.

“I’ll be there every step of the way if you’ll let me be,” he whispered into her hair.

“Thank you, Ian,” she replied. “I love you. I really do. I want you to be there and I want to be there for you, as well. Whenever you need me.”

  * * *

 The next few days seemed to fly by, even though much of it was spent in her bed. Courtney tried not to regret having denied him this form of affection for so long, especially since she enjoyed it as much, if not more, than he did. Much like the way he approached every other area in his life, nothing was off-limits when it came to making love. His daring and fun way of introducing her to an intimate relationship made her adore him even more. He would suggest something but let her try it on him first so she could judge his reaction before deciding whether or not to let him do it to her in return. It was fun and sexy all rolled into one.

Each time with him was different—even in the course of the same day. One time might be met with fits of laughter, kissing, touching and teasing; the next would be steamy, breathtaking and passionate. She couldn’t seem to get enough of him and he obviously felt the same way. By the end of the week she began to worry about what would happen when she had to go back to work and he went back to school. What would happen when his friends returned from vacation? A secret part of her wished she and Ian could stay locked in her house—just the two of them and a large dog. Locked away from the world for the rest of their lives.

But too soon they heard a knock at the front door. Having showered together, they shut the water off and grabbed a towel. He quickly ran it over himself and then wrapped it around his waist.

“Stay here. I’ll get rid of whoever it is and be right back,” he said, kissing her quickly and leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She dried off and cracked the bathroom door open to listen to him.

“Oh God, man, cover that shit up. Have some decency. I could have been a small child selling cookies or some such thing.” Jess’s voice filtered up the stairs. Courtney could only snicker, since the video camera showed who was at the door and yet he had still opened it for her and let her inside.

“You’re obviously interrupting, so maybe you should just go. Come back in another month,” Ian offered in response.

“That’s repulsive and I’m likely scarred for life. I like sex as much as the next girl, but occasionally you have to stop and feed the kitten…real food,” Jess replied. “Where is she and is she more appropriately attired than you?”

“Probably not. And if she is, she won’t be for long so perhaps another time then?” Ian tried again. Courtney could hear him opening the front door as though inviting Jess to leave. A small laugh escaped her.

“Can I come up?” Jess hollered from halfway up the staircase.

Quickly pulling on her robe and tying it closed, Courtney opened the bathroom door and stepped out onto the landing. “Hi, Jess!”

“Don’t hi me. I know what you two have been doing, and the sick parts of my mind are gagging with the realization it’s obviously been going on since I called you
two days ago
,” Jess replied, scrunching her face to show her displeasure. Ian had followed Jess up the stairs and shrugged his shoulders as if saying he’d tried to get rid of her with no success.

“Has he fed you at least? You know what? Don’t answer that. It sounded bad, and I realize the implications and therefore take it back. Let’s go eat…food. Let’s go get some food,” Jess finished with a sigh and then quietly said, “Awkward.”

“Give us a few minutes to, um, get dressed, and then we’d love to join you for dinner,” Courtney replied with a laugh as Ian moved past Jess to walk into the bedroom.

“Two days is plenty long enough to lock yourselves away from the rest of civilization. It’s time to join polite society again. I’ll be downstairs…waiting.” Jess smiled back and then headed down the stairs.

Jess stopped halfway down the steps when Ian hollered through the closed bedroom door, “It’s been a wee bit longer than two days, but you’re right, we have to come up for air at some point. Might as well be from a friend’s rude interruption.”

Covering her ears with both hands, Jess said, “Lalalala. I can’t hear you!” With that she continued down the stairs.

Dinner was so fun that Courtney couldn’t remember laughing so much in a long time. Nothing had changed between them, except now Jess had new material to use against Ian. When Jess had her fill of food, friendship and conversation and left to go home, Courtney suddenly realized that not only did she no longer want to push Ian away but she also wanted him close…
always.

“What is it?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Can you…can you stay with me for a while? Just until the grand jury testimony?” she asked.

He leaned forward and captured her lips for one of those kisses she could feel everywhere at once. Then he pulled back, smiled and said, “I’ll stay as long as you want me to. Just let me know if I’m being too
needy.
”

Chapter Fourteen

“You did great during your testimony both for the grand jury and at trial. This next part will entail you telling the court how the defendant’s actions affected you. Corrine will give an impact statement as well, but being that you were a child at the time yours will have just as much bearing on the sentence that gets handed down,” the prosecutor said. “Both of you take a few minutes. I’ll come back and get you when it’s time.”

Looking across the table at Aunt Corrine, Courtney felt like they had fought the battle against the two men together this time…and won. The past three months had been both painful and liberating. Aside from the conviction of both suspects, and a slowly receding fear of men and people in general, the best thing to come from this experience was that it had brought the two of them closer. Like before the attack ever happened. Ian had a hand in that process and was waiting in the hallway of the courthouse along with his army buddies, Kayla, Tori and, of course, Jess.

Courtney grabbed Aunt Corrine’s hand. “With this thing almost over, a part of me worries that I won’t get to see you as often now.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. Neil and I will come down every chance we get, and hopefully you and Ian can come up our way and visit from time to time, as well,” Aunt Corrine replied.

Tears threatened to spill but Courtney forced them down. “I’d like that. There’s so much to catch up on. I don’t want to go back to only talking when some life event requires it. I want to talk just to hear your voice…and I want to talk often.”

“We’ve both experienced something no one should have to,” Corrine said. “And we’ve come out ahead this time, so I’ll be
damned
if anything will keep us apart now that this is finally over.”

When the prosecutor returned and ushered them into the courtroom, she noticed Ian and all their friends were already seated and waiting. She stayed right by Aunt Corrine’s side as they approached a podium facing the judge. The older woman pulled a handwritten note out of her pocket and carefully unfolded it, grabbed Courtney’s hand and began to read.

“Hatred is like having a hole in the bottom of your boat when you are far from shore. Once you let a little of it into your heart, it becomes a geyser that will eventually sink you. You will suddenly find you’ve started to hate all kinds of things that never bothered you before and all that negativity will take you down right along with your boat. To hate based on how someone looks or the things that make them unique, such as race, nationality, or gender—it doesn’t harm that person…it sinks you.

“I never hated those men for what they did to me that day. I figured they obviously hated themselves enough already if they had to harm another to ease their own pain and anger. I’ve forgiven them not because I’m a saint or a martyr, but because I needed to in order to move on, in order to row my own boat to shore. Though I don’t wish them any harm, I also don’t wish that another woman suffer as I did at their hands. Please consider what is in the best interest of society when punishing these men, because not everyone can recover from such intolerance and violence. Some may carry it with them for years…maybe even a lifetime,” Corrine read and then glanced over at Courtney. Then looking back at the judge, she said, “Thank you for letting me speak my piece.”

The judge thanked Aunt Corrine for sharing her thoughts with the court and apologized for the length of time it had taken to bring the two men to justice. Then the judge looked to where Courtney stood. How could she begin to explain how badly witnessing this crime had impacted her? Glancing to Aunt Corrine, Courtney felt the woman squeeze her hand. This was their time to be heard.

“It’s taken me quite a few more years than Aunt Corrine to learn that lesson, Your Honor, and I’m not even the victim! I didn’t hate those men, either. I hated that I was unable to stop them from doing what they did to someone I adore. She’s right that loathing of any kind will drown you if you let it. I let the guilt, anger and hate over not being able to save her drag me down to the point where I was no longer able to function like a normal person. Being given the chance to stand up for her after all these years has done a lot for me. I’m gaining back my sense of self and finally feeling safe again in my own skin. What a conviction will never do is give me back the years I spent treading water after my boat went down. I would ask that the court consider that I lost a little bit of myself that day, a bit of myself that I may never fully get back, as did my aunt. I beg the court not to let these men do this to another woman…another family. Thank you,” she managed to say around her tears.

The judge handed down a sentence that would likely see both men die in prison, as the attack on Aunt Corrine was just one more heinous crime to add to a pretty significant list for both of them. Courtney squeezed Aunt Corrine’s hand and smiled upon feeling the reassuring pressure returned. When court was adjourned, Courtney turned to find Ian right behind her. Never had anything felt as good as his strong arms wrapping her in a hug.

Having Ian’s support through this whole ordeal had given her the added confidence to fight for justice and work on repairing her relationship with the woman who had raised her and treated her as her own. After hugging Aunt Corrine and her husband, Neil, goodbye in the parking lot outside the courthouse, Courtney watched them drive away with tears in her eyes.

“We should get you home. You look like you could use a nap.” Ian smiled at her.

“Actually, I was thinking of pub fries. We’re awfully close,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

After an early dinner with their friends and a small dose of nostalgia from visiting the restaurant where it all started for her and Ian, they headed back to her house. The sound of the car shutting off startled her awake. Glancing over at Ian, she noticed a look of concern on his face.

“Sorry, I’ve just been so tired lately. Things should get back to normal now that the trial and sentencing are over, and I’ll have more energy,” she said and then yawned.

“Come on let’s get you inside. I still think you should go see a doctor, just to be sure you didn’t catch something being around all those people in the courthouse,” Ian said.

“I’ll be fine but can you stay over tonight? Please?” she asked as they got out of the car and headed up the front walk.

The stress of the trial process and the sentencing had really gotten to her. It left her physically drained by the end of each day and sometimes made her so tired she even had to take a nap. She also had developed really bad headaches, and on a couple of occasions her nerves had gotten the better of her and she’d been sick to her stomach. Now that the trial was over she could only hope that she would feel better both physically and emotionally.

Since the first week they had spent together it was hard for her to let Ian go home. He’d stayed with her almost every night up through testifying in front of the grand jury. Since then she’d tried to give him some space and let him go back to Rusty’s house, but he still ended up staying over three or four nights a week. She loved him and enjoyed waking up beside him.

The following morning she awoke so nauseated she barely made it to the bathroom in time. She could hear Ian downstairs in the kitchen and the overpowering smell of scrambled eggs and bacon wafted up the stairs making her gag. Though she prayed he would remain in the kitchen, it wasn’t long until she heard him at the door.

“I’ve got a warm washcloth and a glass of water out here on the counter for you. Are you going to be okay?” he asked quietly.

“Can you please turn off the eggs and especially the bacon?” she asked, gagging again just from mentioning the bacon.

She sighed with relief when she heard him walk away from the bathroom door. After she managed to get her stomach under control she cleaned herself up and then immediately showered in an effort to eliminate the last bits of breakfast smell. Maybe Ian was right. Maybe she’d caught the flu or something. She did ache, at least her back did. Ian wasn’t sick, though.

As she finished drying off and stepped out of the shower, a single thought made her freeze. She couldn’t remember her last period. The trial had consumed every waking minute when she wasn’t at work, spending time with Aunt Corrine or helping Ian study. Life had been so crazy for the past few months it had completely slipped her mind but she knew it had been a good while. Yet she couldn’t seem to back track to figure out just how long.

A small thrill went through her at the very thought. What if she was pregnant? She wanted to run downstairs and share her building excitement with Ian, but what if she was wrong? The immediate fear of another miscarriage entered her mind and suddenly she had to know. Digging around in her medicine cabinet she found a second pregnancy test from a two-pack she had purchased after being inseminated. She hadn’t really needed the test then, but some crazy and overly excited part of her had wanted to double-check even after April confirmed it.

Taking a deep breath, Courtney read over the directions and did as they suggested. Then she waited. It took no more than a few seconds for the test to indicate she was pregnant. She could only stare at it in disbelief as the test results became more and more prominent.

Ian’s baby.

Courtney jumped when he knocked on the door. “Beautiful, you’re scaring me. Are you okay in there? Can I call the doctor and make you an appointment now?” he asked, gently pushing the door open.

How to tell him? After a few moments she finally looked up and said, “Yeah, can you call April and make me an appointment? For today if at all possible.”

She heard his heavy footsteps walk away from the door to take care of making an appointment for her only to stop and come back. Once again, the bathroom door opened until she could see his handsome face.

“April?” he asked. His face registered the same shock she felt. “As in Dr. Franklin?”

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly and held up the pregnancy test.

April promised to squeeze her in and within an hour she and Ian were both showered, dressed and on their way. As they neared the office building, he looked over at her and said, “I love you, Courtney.”

“I love you, too.”

Suddenly he pulled over, put the car in park, flipped the emergency blinkers on and turned to her. His face told her that he had something important to say.

“I had planned to do this right, but I need you to know now…before this appointment,” he started. “I mean I really love you, and I want to be with you all the time, not just a few nights a week. Marry me, Courtney, whether you’re really pregnant or not, whether we ever have kids. Be my wife. That’s enough for me. I’d love to have babies with you, but mostly I just want to be with you…with or without kids. I need to know that you would be okay with just me, too…regardless.”

This was surely the best day of her life. She felt in her bones that she was carrying Ian’s baby and knowing he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her was an even bigger blessing. Happy tears spilled onto her cheeks.

Reaching over, he wiped them away with his fingertips and then kissed her. “Say yes, Courtney. You and me…and whatever life has in store for us. Say yes.”

“Yes, Ian. I love you so much. You are everything to me,” she choked out before catching his face between her hands and kissing him until they were both breathless.

  * * *

 Courtney felt truly blessed. After having her suspicions confirmed, she lay back on the exam table, waiting for April to check to see how far along Courtney was. She and Ian hadn’t really talked about trying for another baby since before they’d become intimate. This pregnancy kind of felt like destiny, and she couldn’t stop smiling at him. He simply grinned back at her.

“Okay, I’d like to start with checking the heartbeat and then we’ll go from there,” April said as she entered the room.

This time there was no searching around for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. The sound filtered through the machine loud and clear, and Courtney sighed with relief. Looking at Ian, he was obviously relieved as well and his handsome smile widened until he got a look at April’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his smile quickly fading.

“Nothing is
wrong
. Everything’s fine. Right here we hear the heartbeat,” April said. “Over here, though, I’m hearing…another heartbeat. I’d like to do an ultrasound to be absolutely sure, but I believe we are dealing with multiples here…twins.”

Courtney didn’t hear any more of what April said after that because Ian had his forehead pressed against hers and they were smiling, laughing and stealing kisses from each other. Thanks to one overly large fighter with smoke-filled eyes she was not only going to finally be a mother but a wife, as well. There was nothing normal about their love. It was extraordinary…and made just for them.