Maid to Order (14 page)

“I’ll crush you like this,” he whispered as he pulled out of her body leaving a void that she already missed. Then he kissed her temple and said, “Let me clean you up and then you can hold me for a little while before you have to go home.”

Go home? She wanted to stay. Spend the night in his strong arms. Wake up sometime in the middle of the night and do it all over again. Tears clogged in her throat… choking her.
Go home?

Chapter Eleven

“I changed my mind, Rusty,” Danny said adamantly. “If Amy’s not coming to the cookout then I want to go to her house instead.”

There were moments when Rusty wasn’t sure which one of the two siblings was more frustrating. Danny or Amy. Danny didn’t want to go now because he’d somehow picked up on the tension that existed between Rusty and Amy.

Now, the morning of Seth and Tori’s cookout, Danny no longer wanted to go and instead wanted to go to AmyCakes and then to stay overnight with Amy instead. That would leave Rusty on his own for an entire evening, which wasn’t a pleasant thought for some reason.

Brutal honesty throat punched him at that thought. He was using Danny as yet another way to avoid having to deal with his own life. Just like with Ronnie, Seth and Ian… he was using Danny as a distraction. Where he’d felt like he didn’t have a choice with his brothers in arms. He’d
chosen
to get involved where Danny was concerned, claiming it was to help a friend. Which it was…
partly.

Danny was yet another person to focus on other than himself… as was Amy. The only difference was that Amy didn’t take his orders. Hell, she didn’t even listen to him half the time and instead did as she pleased… including flirting with him and teasing him beyond his ability to cope… ordering him to touch her.

He’d tried explaining to Danny that Amy had to work but, not one to be sidetracked once his mind was made up, Danny had insisted he wasn’t going without Amy.

“Let me call her then and see what time she gets off work,” Rusty replied with a heavy sigh. “Maybe she can meet us at the cookout.”

Rusty hadn’t seen or heard from Amy since Thursday night when he’d once again lost what sense of honor he had and found himself between her sweet thighs. All his internal conversations about how young she was, how sweet she was, how wrong it was to take what she offered or the issues he had were blown out the window with his own confessions.

Even now, staring at his cell phone trying to get the nerve to call her resulted in memories of her throaty moans as he’d pleasured her with his hands and mouth. The sound of her whimpers as he’d thrust his way to heaven… dragging her with him.

He’d managed to skip a day without her but with his track record being what it was… that meant tonight, if he convinced her to go to the cookout with them, he’d more than likely fall off the wagon yet again. Once more he would claim that beautiful body of hers for the relief it offered him from the hell that was his life. God what a body it was too.

All he could think about any more were those soft yet well-toned legs that could wrap around his waist as easily as they could wrap around his head. How he had buried himself in her first one way and then the other. She would be his for a third time in little more than a week since meeting her.

For the first time in his life he understood the drunks that slept on park benches after having put the want of a drink above basic necessities. His body
needed
Amy, like the drunk needed a drink, an addict needed a fix or a smoker needed a cigarette. It was wrong to use her this way knowing he had nothing to offer her in return.

Regardless of how often or in what way she offered herself to him, he now had a memory of all that sweetness… the enticing scent of her sex enjoying his touch and the salty taste of her on his tongue… but that was it. No more… he was a lot of things… but he wasn’t a user… of drugs or people.

When he’d returned from the bathroom with a warm, wet washcloth that night, he’d found Amy already dressed and preparing to leave. He had immediately went on alert but she hadn’t appeared upset or, God forbid, hurt by something he’d done or said. She’d smiled her normal sultry smile, kissed him on the cheek and left without another word.

He should have felt relief that she wasn’t expecting more from him than he could give. Maybe he should have held onto some hope that it would be the last of their sexual involvement with each other. Instead he’d lain awake in misery for the remainder of the night. Wanting what he shouldn’t have ever had in the first place.

His body had been on fire and yet so alive all at the same time. Alive with a need for her that nearly had him calling her and begging her to come back for more. Then when she hadn’t shown up yesterday to visit with Danny and had instead just called, he’d prayed that exhaustion would force him to sleep and therefore keep him from more of the same mind torture.

However, last night had been even worse. She’d told him that she could still feel him an hour after the first time they’d been together. Well he could still feel her two days later. What did that mean?

Sighing he punched in the number for her cell phone and was surprised when she answered, “AmyCakes.”

He took a deep breath and said, “It’s me… Rusty. Is now a good time or do you need to call me back?”

“I’m all alone right now, Rusty. Is that what you mean? Is this a
private
call?” she finished in a throaty whisper that he felt as surely as if it were her warm breath on his...

Seeing that Danny was watching his every reaction he turned his back and walked a few paces away and said as quietly as possible, “Why do you have to be like this? Are you trying to make me even crazier than I already am? I told you… I’m not… I can’t…”

“I bet you’ve missed me… haven’t you?” she replied, ignoring his struggles to convince her that what they were doing wasn’t right. “I’ve missed you… especially at night.”

“I just called to ask if you would come with Danny and me to my friend’s cookout this evening… after the shop closes,” he said, attempting to get himself in check. God… she could turn him on with just a few words. Hell, he was painfully aroused and she damn well knew it.

“I know. I know. You don’t want to
use my body
… Well, what if I were to just use yours instead? Would that be okay?” she asked as if contemplating a way to make this whole thing less emotionally ugly.

“Just answer the damn question, Amy. Danny says he’s not going if you don’t go. Do you want your brother to miss out on time with his friends?” he choked out.

“Speaking of friends… if I come tonight… what should I wear? Just shorts and a tank top to cover up my
skimpy little bathing suit
… or should I just wear my bikini instead? That way I don’t have to worry about what your friends might see. Or what you will see, for that matter?”

“That mouth of yours…” he threatened with a groan he hadn’t meant to let escape.

“My mouth? What about your mouth? Mmm… your mouth is pretty wicked sexy and feels… amazing. I know. I shouldn’t
think
it… let alone
say
it. So you’ve said. But guess what, Rusty? I can’t help but think about it. In fact, I’ve thought of nothing
else
,” she sighed.

“Seth gave you his address. I’d like you to be there but this thing between us… No more, Amy. I mean it this time. This will never work and will only lead to heartache for one or both of us. Please just trust me on that,” he said, strangling on his own words. “I’m not the kind of man you want to get emotionally attached to.”

“If you don’t want to give me orgasms anymore… then what
do
you want out of all this?” she asked.

“I’m just trying…” he started. Her uniquely sexy, matter of fact way of saying such erotic things, was really good at reminding him of how she looked all glistening from his attentions. Her hair sticking to the sides of her face… Jesus he needed to get off the phone with her.
Now
.

“I know that too. You’re just trying to help me and Danny out,” she interrupted in a derogatory tone.

“Yes… I’m trying to be… a friend… to Danny,” he replied. “In fact, I hope that you will consider letting him stay here instead of at the home. I also hope we see you at Seth’s.”

Then he hung up the phone on her. He sensed that he was again losing a battle with her… against her. She had him whipped. He’d slept with her twice and already she had his number. Conversations he remembered having with his brothers in arms when they’d been dating their wives came back to punish him. Amy was too pretty, too sweet, too young and way to sexy for an old worn out veteran like him.

He’d once asked God for just a fraction of what his buddies had and was instead being punished with Amy… a woman who turned him inside out and turned him on when he was at his absolute worst… when he was low as a person could get and still be breathing.

If he wasn’t so much older than her or so fucked up he’d see this as
his
chance. But he was a nightmare… especially for a woman like Amy. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Turning around, Rusty prepared himself to lie to his friend by telling Danny that Amy would in fact be at the cookout when he wasn’t sure if she would be or not. Part of him prayed she wouldn’t be because he didn’t have it in him to turn her down. He knew it and so did she. Tuesday and Thursday night were proof of that. The other half of him… the demented part… wanted nothing more than for her to show up at the cookout and tease him mercilessly… until he was so hard that he was willing to beg her for it.

“She’ll be there… so best go get your swim trunks and pack a bag of things to take,” he advised Danny before heading to his room to get his shit together. Damn that woman… with her warm hazel eyes… and that pretty smile.
Shit…

An hour later he found himself sitting poolside with a beer in his hand, watching his friends, their wives and families laughing and having fun. Even with Danny there, he felt like the odd man out. Ronnie’s stepdaughter was keeping an eye on Tori’s son, Zach, who was swimming and encouraging Danny to step down in the water instead of just sitting on the side of pool with his feet in the water.

Rusty had no wife, no children, and no real career. Just as he thought to go into the quiet of the house for a minute to pull his shit together, here came Courtney, waddling over to his table, looking like she’d read his tormented thoughts even all the way across the yard.

“Mind if I sit down?” she asked, rubbing her large belly in such a way that it looked like she was trying to hold it up.

He quickly stood up and held his chair for her which was more in the shade than any of the others. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked hot. Yet her smile was the warmest thing about her. He braced himself for what he knew would end up being an uncomfortable conversation since she had an unusual knack for seeing through the bullshit that came out of his mouth and then voicing what he couldn’t say.

“Ian told me that Danny’s staying with you this week?” She began digging into his business with a blunt spoon.

“Yeah… just for this week,” he replied, taking a sip of his beer.

“He seems like a happy man, content with where he’s at…” she again prompted. “Are you enjoying having him at your house? It probably beats the quiet, especially now that Ian’s out of your hair.”

“Yeah. Danny’s pretty easy going,” he tried again to deflect.

“He seems pretty self-sufficient too from what Ian told me… he really installed a window?”

“Yeah, he did. He actually wants to try and get a job but Amy… his sister… doesn’t want him to,” he said, hoping she would take the bait he offered and focus on Amy rather than him.

“You don’t think that’s fair of her to not allow him to get a job?” she questioned.

“She’s concerned about his health. He has some heart issues and she worries about him,” he replied.

“Have you talked to her about finding work that he could do that wouldn’t be physically demanding but yet allow him some feeling of independence. Maybe you could offer to train him yourself… maybe that would ease her mind,” she said. “You seem to have a real talent for finding what people are good at and making them even better. Perhaps training men… whether it’s in military warfare… how to take over and run a household… or how to live and work on their own… is what you should be doing now that you’re retired from the Army.”

Thinking back over the past week, he’d taken to showing Danny how to actually cook rather than just how to make a sandwich and how to do his own laundry. Things that were probably making Sylvia roll over in her grave even now. But to do that for other men… besides Danny… he couldn’t do that.
Could he?

“I’m too old and set in my ways to do anything besides the Army or clean houses and businesses,” he finally replied.

She looked at him as though she could see the tightness in his throat from the fear that was choking him. To even attempt to do something different with his life… he just couldn’t. The fear of finding a purpose and finally learning to live again was by far worse than the fear of dying, whether in combat or by…

“I’m not that much younger than you, Rusty. And for the first time ever… I’m really
living
. Enjoying my life, learning to truly trust and love someone, getting ready to experience the wonder of becoming a parent… so many things and I have to say… It’s scary as hell but
so
worth it,” she said. “At least consider it… you have so much to offer to a soldier like my husband… or to someone like Danny… to
anyone
.”

He’d never run from anything in his life. Not from a fight or a tough situation, but right now he wanted to run from this conversation. Yet again, Courtney had looked inside his chest and uncovered his darkest reservations, voiced them and then encouraged him to keep going.

She and Ian would make great parents but he didn’t need a fucking mother or a father… and he certainly didn’t need Amy if that’s what she was getting at.

***

Amy could hear laughing coming from the backyard so, rather than ringing the front doorbell, she followed the sound around back. As she approached a gate leading to a swimming pool she was met by a man who had to be related to Seth. They resembled each other enough that they could be twins except this man was slightly taller and thinner and walked with a cane… and a pretty harsh limp.