Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham Book 6) (9 page)

Esther nodded.  “If you think that’s best.”

“I’ll feel better after you’ve seen a real doctor.  I know Victoria learned a lot about doctoring from her Pa, but she never went to school for it.  I’d rather you saw a doctor who’s been to medical school.”

“Well, you feeling better is the main thing we’re worried about, right?”  She couldn’t keep the slight sarcastic tone from her voice.  Did he think he was the one who was pregnant or something?

He sighed.  “I know you think I’m being overly cautious, but I feel like God has entrusted me with a wonderful woman and a child who belongs to me and another man.  I need to make sure both are safe.”

She nodded, looking down at her food so he wouldn’t see her roll her eyes.  Why did he think she was this delicate little thing?  She’d been raised like every other farm girl.  To work.  Her mother had eight healthy children, the last two a set of twins born when she was forty.  Esther had always taken after her mother.  “I’ll be ready to leave in the morning.  I just hope the movements of the wagon don’t nauseate me.”

With those words she stood and started washing the dishes with water she’d heated before the meal.  She heard his groan from behind her.  “I thought all that was over!”

She shrugged.  “It probably is, but I think part of the reason it’s over is because I haven’t had to go anywhere in a wagon or by train.”  She smiled as she stared out the window.  “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Thomas stared at her back, wondering if she was just trying to make him crazy, or if she really was worried about getting sick again from the motion of the wagon.  Should he risk the drive?

He stood.  “I don’t think we’re going to make that drive after all.”  He put his hands on the back of her shoulders and rubbed them.  “We can’t have you getting sick again so soon.  You’re just starting to eat again, and you’re not strong enough to get that sick.”

She smiled and turned to him, pressing a kiss to his lips.  “Does that mean you’re willing to have relations?”

He stepped back, shaking his head.  “Not at all.  If you’re not healthy enough to ride in a wagon for three hours to see a doctor, then there’s no way you’re healthy enough for lovemaking.”  He took a fig from a small bowl on the counter where she had placed them for guests to snack on throughout the day.  He’d brought some home at the end of the day yesterday to surprise her.  He loved the summer months because there was always some kind of ripe fruit growing wild on the homestead. 

She glared.  “I won’t get sick going to the doctor.”  She folded her arms across her chest, seriously annoyed that he’d called her bluff.

“Then why did you say you would?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Because I really think we’re wasting money by missing a day of work and driving all the way to town for a doctor’s appointment.  I think we should stay here and work.  It’s just not necessary.”

Thomas shrugged.  “You’ll see a doctor, or sleep in the nursery until the baby is born.”  His face told her how serious he was about the subject.

“You’re actually threatening to keep relations from me?  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”  She was dumbfounded.  Men didn’t withhold lovemaking.  Only women did that, right?

He shrugged.  “I’ve never had them to get used to.  You were married for six months.  I think at this point they matter more to you than they do to me.”  He desperately hoped she wouldn’t call his bluff.  He had no desire to spend the next six months alone in bed, but he would rather than backing down.

She turned her back on him and finished the last of the dishes, drying them and putting them away.  Removing her apron, she walked up the stairs without saying another word. 

He watched her go with a smile.  He was certain she’d take the trip into town the next day to see the doctor.  He knew he was being difficult, but he didn’t appreciate the way she’d tried to manipulate him. 

He read for an hour before climbing the stairs and going up to bed.  She was in her nightgown, sleeping on her side, facing away from where he slept.  He smiled with a bit of relief.  She hadn’t just decided to go to the nursery or she would have moved her things and herself in there.  She was going to the doctor in the morning.  He was thrilled. 

*****

Esther was still annoyed with Thomas for his ultimatum the following morning.  Why was he being so stubborn about her seeing a doctor?  She had breakfast ready when he came in from milking.   She hated the idea of spending the entire day in the wagon.  Hopefully there’d be no wait for the doctor, because if there was, she didn’t know how she’d handle it.  She just didn’t feel like she needed to go.

He dried the breakfast dishes for her to hurry things along.  She sighed.  “Do I need to fix a picnic lunch for the drive?”

He shook his head.  “I thought we’d go to a restaurant in town.  I’d planned on taking you to one after the wedding, but it took you so long to get ready, we needed to get home right away.”

“I wouldn’t have enjoyed it that day anyway.  I was too sick.”  She turned to him and smiled for the first time all morning.  “I’ll enjoy it today.”  She was actually a little excited knowing that would be part of the trip.  Maybe they could get some yard goods while they were there as well.  She needed to make a couple of dresses for herself that she could wear in her last months, and she wanted to start sewing for the baby.  “I’ve never been to a restaurant.”

He smiled.  “Really?  I’ve been to this one only once.  It’s really good.”

She bit her lip, wondering if she could ask for the fabric.  “I’d also like to get some fabric while we’re in town, if that’s okay.  I need dresses for my last months, and I should do some more sewing for the baby.”

He shook his head.  “We’ll have to wait until after harvest for those things.  I have enough money for the restaurant and the doctor, but not enough left over for fabric.”

She nodded, feeling guilty for even asking.  She started to walk away, but stopped.  “Wait.  I still have some of the money you sent for my trip out here.  I ate so little I barely spent any of it.”

He smiled and nodded.  “That money was for you.  If you have some left, I’ll take you to the mercantile while we’re there.”

She smiled, excited about the trip ahead of them now.  “Did you get a list from the others of what they needed?”

Thomas nodded.  “Yeah, it was our week to go anyway.  I have a small stack of letters to mail, and a list of things to purchase.”

She removed her apron and put on the bonnet that matched her dress.  She thought about running upstairs to change into a nicer dress, but knew she’d be dirty and dusty by the time they reached town anyway.   Town was so far that it would be an all-day event each time they went, which made it seem special. 

He went to hitch up the wagon while she used the outhouse.  Being pregnant made it so much harder to wait when she needed to go.  When she finished, she watched him with the horses.  He was slender, so at first she had discounted the amount of muscle in his body.  His arms were bulging as he harnessed the horses and got the wagon ready for their trip.  She admired how hard he worked, and certainly felt more for him than she had the day she’d met him.

Once the wagon was ready, she walked over beside him and he helped her up.  She was half afraid some of the sickness would come back, but she wasn’t going to admit that to him.  They’d been traveling for about five minutes before she was able to relax and enjoy the scenery.  “I really was scared the ride would make me queasy, but it’s not bothering me at all.”

He smiled.  “Good.  I want us to be able to enjoy the day today.”

She scooted closer to him on the wagon seat, realizing their arms touching as they did was probably inappropriate in public, but she enjoyed being close to him, and they were married after all.  Proprieties didn’t seem to matter quite as much here as they had back East, either.  It was as if she were living in an entirely different world, instead of just across the country from her home town.

“Why are there so few trees?” she asked.

He shrugged.  “I really don’t know, but it makes for good farmland.  It’s no fun to have to clear stumps all the time to try to have enough land to grow a decent sized crop.”

“That makes sense.”  She sighed.  When she was young she’d had a large tree house.  Her child would never see that.  “Where do you get lumber for houses here?”

“You have to buy it, and it’s really expensive.  We got ours out East and I went back and drove them out.  It took load after load.”  He shook his head.  “Most people in the area just build sod houses, but neither of us wanted to do that.  It cost a lot of money, but I’m happy with my house.  I shouldn’t have done it, in retrospect, but I’m glad I have the comfort of my wood home.” 

“I understand.”  She didn’t know how she’d have felt about living in a sod house, but she was sure she would have adjusted.  She wasn’t picky and could adapt to most things easily.  “It’s a wonderful house.  Much better than I expected when I agreed to marry a homesteader in Kansas.”

He grinned over at her, taking her hand in his.  “I’m glad you agreed to marry this homesteader.”

“I am too.”  She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment.  “I think this is a good place to raise the baby, and you’ve gone out of your way to make me welcome.”

“It’s nice to have company and someone to cook for me,” he said with a smile.

She laughed.  “I’m sure it is.  I don’t know how you did it before.  Did you meet up with other families during the week, or was it just you all the time except Sunday?”

He shrugged.  “It was usually just me.  Sundays were always a bit of a relief because I’d get to hear voices other than my own.”

“I’m glad I’m here with you, then.”  Yes, she still missed Beckham.  She missed her parents and Charlie.  She missed Harriett.  But she was glad to be with a man who treated her well, and she was thrilled to be away from her mother-in-law.  She’d been very afraid the crotchety old woman would have tried to take her baby from her, and that wasn’t going to happen here.  There was no way she’d even find out there was a baby from this distance.

Their relationship was still awkward to her way of thinking, but it probably should be.  When she’d married Charlie, she’d known him since they’d started school together. When she’d gotten off the train in Lindsborg it was with the understanding that she’d be sharing the same intimacies as she had with Charlie, but without getting to know her new husband first.  How could the situation not be awkward?

Esther appreciated all he’d done to make her feel wanted and loved.  He’d really been good for her, accepting her and the baby without question.  She hoped that Harriett would find someone who was just as good to her as Thomas. 

Thomas looked down at Esther, noting she was lost in thought.  He loved to look at his pretty wife.  It seemed so strange to him that she’d headed West as a mail order bride instead of just finding a man in her home town.  Unless there were simply no men there, she would not have had a problem finding one.  Her hair was a light brown and her eyes were a deep chocolate.  Nothing else about her could be described as ordinary.  Her waist was tiny, but her breasts were full, and her hips were wide.  He hoped that meant childbirth would be easy for her.

As she stared off at the scenery, he couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about.  Did she spend her time missing her first husband?  Did she still cry over him?  Or was she moving on and thinking of him as the man she loved now?  He hoped that was the case, but he had no way of knowing.  He knew she didn’t love him yet, and he really didn’t expect her to.  How could he?  She’d known him for two weeks, but she’d known Charlie her whole life.

He had mixed feelings about Charlie.  In a way, he was jealous of him.  Sure, the man was dead, but he’d held Esther’s heart during his life, and Thomas found he wanted Esther to love him the way she’d loved her late husband.  He also felt as if he had an obligation to Charlie, as if it was his job to make sure that Esther and the baby were taken care of, because they didn’t belong to him entirely.  They also belonged to Charlie.  It was strange, but it worked for him.

He squeezed her hand.  “What are you thinking about?”

She shrugged.  “The woman who runs the mail order agency in Beckham.”

“Harriett Long, right?”

“Yeah.  I never met her until a few days after Charlie died, even though we lived in the same town.  At the time I met her, I walked into town every morning to sell my extra eggs so I would have a little money.  After walking to the mercantile, I’d go to her house for tea.  We spent hours and hours talking.  She was so different from me, but we became such good friends.”

He nodded to encourage her to keep talking.  “How was she different?” 

“Harriett was a young widow, so somewhat like me, but she had some kind of secret.  I think her ex-husband was mean to her, but I’m not sure.  She never talked about him.”  She stared off into space as she talked about her friend.  “And she’s rich.  I’d never seen a home as fine as the one she lived in.”

“If she was rich, why did she have a business?  Did she need more money for some reason?”

Esther shrugged.  “I honestly never asked.  We talked about a lot of things, but she didn’t talk much about her life.  She was a really private person.  I really miss her.”