Major Karnage (30 page)

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Authors: Gord Zajac

Tags: #Science Fiction, #Satire

BOOK: Major Karnage
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CHAPTER ELEVEN

The screen went black. Sydney was staring at the floor, her limbs
quivering with nervous energy. “People need to see this. They need
to know what’s going on.” She looked up at the screen. “Can you give
me a copy of that footage you just showed us?”

A slim silver disc slid out the front of the cabinet. Sydney picked
it up and looked at it curiously. “I hope I can find something that
still plays this.” She tucked the disc into her jacket. “Come on, Major.
Let’s go.” She headed for the door.

Karnage didn’t follow. He looked up into Galt’s cataract-laden
eyes. “Where can I find Steve Dabney?”

The screen flashed, showing a helicopter view of Dabneyville.
It zoomed in on the needle-like tower and the forest beyond.
“Come visit the pristine forests of the Dabney Preserve, accessible
exclusively from the canopy bridge, located on the observation decks
of the Dabney National Tower, the world’s tallest freestanding—”

“Where’s the Dabney National Tower?” Karnage said.

The screen cut to old footage of Galt Dabney wearing a
construction hat. His hair and moustache were black. “The DN
Tower will be located atop the corporate headquarters of the Dabney
Corporation, home to the expansive Dabney Family Archives, and—”

“What’s the quickest way to get to the Dabney National Tower
from here?”

The screen cut to grainy security footage of an engineer talking
to Galt Dabney. “The executive elevator will run clear up the length
of the DN Tower right down to the main lobby.”

“Make it run all the way down into the vaults.” Galt poked the
engineer in the ribs. “You never know when I’ll have to make a quick
getaway.” The engineer nodded and smiled.

The screen went black, and a set of bookcases whirred open
behind Karnage, revealing a brass elevator car. Karnage looked up
at Galt’s head. “Thanks. I’ll try and hit Steve once for you.”

The screen showed security footage from Galt’s corner office. He
was talking to another executive. “That Steven is a smart fellow, but
he is also one dangerous sonofabitch.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Karnage headed for the elevator.

Sydney was standing halfway through the door. “Major, what are
you doing?!”

“You do what you gotta do, Captain,” Karnage said. “I’ve still got
some questions for ol’ Steve Dabney.”

“You can’t face him alone. What about your Sanity Patch? You
don’t even have a weapon!”

The elevator doors shut with a soft bing.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Karnage calmly rode the elevator. He watched the numbers above
the door change, slowly making their way upward. He shut his
eyes, focused his mind, and concentrated on his long-term goal:
Cookie. Velasquez. Heckler. Stumpy. Koch. Cookie. Velasquez. Heckler.
Stumpy. Koch.
Then he felt his body relaxing, and the Sanity Patch
downgraded to Daffodil, as if voicing its approval. Karnage took a
deep breath. He was as ready for this as he’d ever be.

The elevator binged, and the doors slid open, as a cool breeze
wafted into the elevator. Karnage stepped out, and found himself
on a wide circular deck overlooking the desert, the elevator housed
in a cylindrical beam in the centre. An absolutely breathtaking view
stretched out on all sides. The glass floor gave him a clear view of
the microscopically small buildings below while a guard rail ran
around the perimeter of the deck at waist height, punctuated only
by thick steel beams with a thin netting draped between them. The
netting wafted in the wind as the chilled air blew through it and
over Karnage’s skin. Karnage walked slowly along the deck, and the
mountain came into view on the other side of the elevator shaft.
Soon the mountain loomed high beside him, the lush green of the
pine trees intermittently broken by steep shanks of grey rock:
lifeless desert on one side, forested mountain on the other.

“Hello, you.”

Karnage turned around. Standing on the deck behind him, in
front of a metal door marked EMERGENCY EXIT, was Patrick,
aiming a pistol at Karnage’s chest. A manila enveloped was tucked
under his arm.

“Don’t move,” he said. Patrick flipped open the envelope with his
free hand, and pulled out a slim tablet. He let the envelope fall free.
The wind picked it up, and it flew into the netting where it flapped
uselessly, like a fly stuck in a spider’s web. Patrick angled the tablet
so it was propped against his chest; he held it along the bottom with
one hand, while the other kept the gun barrel firmly pointed at
Karnage’s chest. He flicked the tablet on.

Steve Dabney appeared on the screen. He smiled.

“Hello, Major,” he said. “I’m sorry to deprive you of your big
moment, but I’m afraid my priorities lie elsewhere. I think it’s sweet
the way you keep trying to save the world. I know you don’t like
to think of yourself as a romantic, but the zeal you’ve put into this
endeavour belies the truth. You’re like a samurai who has lost his
master: rōnin, if you like. Rudderless. Directionless. Looking for
answers. Life must be very difficult for you in this new world. I pity
you.

“But I have to give you credit. You have proven to be a very worthy
opponent. I’m sorry we had to be adversaries. We really wanted to
make you a key player in this organization. It’s unfortunate we
couldn’t come to an understanding. You’ll be pleased to know we’ve
since found a more qualified candidate to take the position, so your
services will no longer be required.

“I’ve authorized Patrick here to terminate you in whatever way
he sees fit. Despite his previous setbacks, he’s assured me that
you won’t escape this time. He’s given me his word on that, and if
you knew Patrick like I do, you’d understand how significant that
promise is.

“Before you die, I want you to understand: I have saved the human
race. Not just the human race, but all life on Earth. Our biosphere
will be preserved forever in the Archive. Our past will never be
forgotten. As for the future, I’ve just put the finishing touches on
the ultimate merger. I’ve just given the go-ahead to put our plan into
action, starting right here in Dabneyville. A Dabney always leads by
example, and this will be my finest example yet.

“Whatever it is you hoped to stop, Major, you’re too late.”

He winked, and the screen went black.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Sydney came out of the tunnels in the basement of her old precinct.
She slipped through the maintenance door and down the darkened
hallway. She stopped in front of a door with a peeling piece of
masking tape stuck to it. The words “Digital Forensics” had been
scrawled across it with black marker. Sydney opened the door and
slipped quietly inside.

The room was lit by a bank of monitors. A hunched figure sat in
front of the screens, his fingers working to either side of him on a set
of ergonomic keyboards. He was surrounded by shelves stuffed with
electronics in various states of destruction. The figure turned his
face up to one of the monitors, and Sydney smiled as she recognized
the profile. “Hey there, Campbell.”

The figure jumped. He turned and squinted through the dark at
Sydney. His eyes went wide with shock. “Oh. Oh my god. Sydney? Is
that really you?”

“It is.”

“What are you doing here? You’re a known fugitive now. You
know that?”

“I know.”

“I mean like top ten most wanted fugitive. Top two, even! Only
one they want more than you is that Major Karnage guy. Hey, is it
true that he seduced you so you’d help him escape?”

“What? Where the hell did you hear that?”

“Captain Riggs said—”

“Captain Riggs is a lying fuckmonkey,” Sydney said.

Campbell suddenly started and looked around nervously. “Oh
man, you know what? You really—I mean
really
shouldn’t be here.
You’re a wanted criminal! I mean . . . I should arrest you. I mean—”

“Campbell, come on now. You haven’t arrested so much as a
doughnut as long as I’ve known you. Do you really want to start
now?”

Campbell shook his head. “Not really.”

“Good. Now listen, I need your help.” Sydney fished the disc out
of her pocket. “Can you play this?”

Campbell took the disc and flipped it over in his hands. “Wow—I
mean, really. Wow! I haven’t seen one of these in years. Where did
you find this? This is like . . . I mean, it really
is
a collector’s item.
Does it work?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Do you have anything that can play it?”

“I might. I just might.” Campbell jumped up and sifted through
the hardware stacked on the shelves. Tangles of wires and screws
fell to the floor. “The captain’s always bitching at me, telling me
I gotta throw all this stuff out. But I keep telling him, you never
know when this stuff will come in handy. You just never know. And
now I’m right—I mean, really, I’m right. If I wasn’t holding on to the
stuff, you’d never—”

There was a loud crash somewhere above them, followed by
shouting. Campbell looked up. “What was that?” He looked at
Sydney. “Does that have anything to do with you?”

Sydney grabbed Campbell’s face in her hands. “Campbell, for once
in your life, I need you to stay focused. You’ve got to find something
to play that disc. Can you do that for me?”

Campbell nodded. “I can. What’s on the disc?”

“Video clips. I need to get them on DiN.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere. All the official channels. All the unofficial
channels.”

“There aren’t any unofficial channels left.”

“Just get it on all the channels you can.”

Campbell took another look at the disc. “Why? What is it?”

“You’ll understand when you see it,” Sydney said. “It’s kinda self explanatory. I promise you, Campbell, you get this data up there,
you will have saved the world.”

He gave her a funny look. “Huh?”

There was another larger crash, and someone screamed. A
muffled noise tore across the floor above them.

It was squiggly.

“What the hell was that?” Campbell said.

“Nothing good.” Sydney stared hard at the ceiling. She heard feet
scrambling, and something crackled. “Give me your goober pistol,
Campbell. Now.”

Campbell’s hand dropped down to it. “Why?”

“Because I’m a better shot than you.”

Campbell opened his mouth to argue, realized she was right, and
shut up. He handed her his pistol. “Don’t let the captain find out
about this.”

“He won’t find out, I promise.” Sydney headed for the door. “Just
get that video on the DiN. Promise me you’ll do that, C. No matter
what.”

“What do you mean no matter what? What’s going on up there?

This has something to do with you, doesn’t it?”

“No. Well, yes. Sort of. Look, it’s just too much to explain. You
have to get that video up on the DiN. Before it’s too late.”

“Too late? What do you mean too late? Sydney, what the hell is
going on?”

“Trust me, Campbell. Please! And stay here. Otherwise . . . just
stay here. You’ll be safe.” She gave Campbell the thumbs up, and left.
Sydney shut the door firmly behind her. She took three steps
back, and fired three rounds of goober at the frame, sealing it shut.

Get those clips up, C.

There was more crackling and screaming from upstairs. Sydney
ran down the hall and through the door into the stairwell. She
walked cautiously up the stairs, her gun drawn.

The door to the main floor was gone, nothing but a smoking
circle where it used to be. Dabneycops ran past the door. Pink volleys
of goober shot across the doorway. Green energy balls flew in the
other direction. A squidbug stopped in the doorway, levelled its
energy spear, and fired. It looked down and spotted her, but Sydney
fired first. Goober bloomed out from the squidbug’s chest as it fell to
the ground. More squidbugs appeared in the doorway, their energy
spears glowing, and Sydney raced back down the stairs. She could
hear the clacking of feet on the stairs above her as she raced through
the door at the bottom of the stairs back into the basement. She
slammed the door behind her, and fired three more rounds of goober
into it. She heard the squidbugs pounding on the door behind her,
squiggling in frustration. Then, they grew quiet. Sydney reloaded
her pistol, waiting for the goobered door to disappear.

She heard a
crack-hiss
behind her, and she spun around. Leaning
against the wall at the end of the hall was a squidbug lighting a
cigarette. The door to the maintenance tunnel swung on its hinges.

Sydney moved to raise her pistol. The squidbug didn’t even turn
to look at her. It simply lifted its spear with one hand, and shot a
crackling ball of energy across the hall.

Sydney’s world filled with an intense painful green.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“He’s quite an eloquent man, wouldn’t you say?” Patrick tossed the
tablet like a frisbee. It slid across the glass floor and flipped over the
side into the netting.

“I’d say he’s full of shit,” Karnage said.

Patrick smiled. “Of course you would. That’s exactly the sort of
thing you’d say, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is. I just fucking well said it.”

Patrick wagged a finger at Karnage. “You’ve been very naughty.
You didn’t tell me you could overcome your little ‘handicap.’ It was
quite clever of you, really. You certainly showed me up with that
trick, I’ll grant you. Tell me, Major. What did you think of
my
little
trick?”

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