Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4) (20 page)

Zeke felt more
confused than ever, shaking his head as he dragged the chair across from her
closer to where she sat.  Taking the chair quickly, he leaned forward to pull
the nearly frantic girl’s chilled hands into his.  It was obvious she was
overwrought and blaming herself for something, but he hadn’t the first clue as
to what that something was.  And until he got her to settle down, he doubted
he’d make much headway with her.  “Sunny, darlin’, I want you to take a deep
breath, calm yourself and listen to me.”  Waiting until she audibly inhaled,
Zeke tightened his fingers around her hand.  “Sugar, there is no doubt in my
mind that no matter what you tell me, you didn’t mean Honor any ill will.  I
know
that.  So does Honor.”

A single tear slipped
down Sunshine’s cheek.  “Honor McKinnon gave me a chance when nobody else in
town would, Sheriff.  Everybody knows my stepfather is trash, and they all
assumed I was, too, until Miss Honor and her sisters hired me.  I owe them
everything
. 
Everything, Sheriff Zeke, but especially Honor.  I have a job because Honor
convinced Miss Patience to take a risk and hire me.  I have an apartment
because when my father wouldn’t stop using me as a punching bag, Honor found me
one I could afford.  I even have my baby sister living with me because Honor
talked to all those social services people and vouched for me.”

“Sunny, you aren’t
telling me anything I don’t know.”  Hell, he’d stood by Honor’s side while
she’d sung Sunshine’s praises to the Department of Children’s Services. He’d
also helped purchase and move the slightly used furniture that was inside
Sunshine’s apartment.  Nothing the young girl said was news to him, and he
wondered how much longer this was going to take.  Already, he was anxious to
get back to his woman’s side before she awakened.

“I know you do,
Sheriff, but it’s important for me to make you understand it all,” Sunshine
conceded shakily.  “See, Miss Honor… I reckon there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for
her if she asked, but I swear, I didn’t know that by keeping my mouth shut like
she asked me to that I was doing her harm.”

“What exactly didn’t
you say, Sunny?” Zeke asked carefully, keeping his tone calm and easy.  Scaring
the young woman with a barrage of questions wouldn’t get him the answers he
sought.  She needed to be handled with caution.

“Back when I started
working at the I Don’t Care Café, I waited on a table.  It was a man, but for
the life of me, I can’t remember his face.  Anyway, after he left, I went to
clear his table off.  There was a folded paper in the middle of the table with
Miss Honor’s name written on it.  I picked it up to give it to her, but when I
did, a picture fell out of it.  It was Miss Honor.  She was standing behind the
counter, smiling.  It wasn’t a picture from that day ‘cause her clothes were
different.  When I looked down at the paper, all it said was, ‘You look pretty
as a picture today.’  I didn’t think much of it.  I just figured that my
customer was sweet on Honor.  You know as well as I do that she’s gotten a fair
share of admirers lookin’ her way.”

Zeke nodded because
it was true.  He wasn’t an idiot; he saw Honor as the beautiful, young woman
that she was.  She’d been gorgeous as a child, but as she’d aged, time had only
added to her allure.  Now, she was breathtaking, and everyone that looked at
her saw what he did. 

However, what Honor
had lived through was no secret because secrets didn’t stay secret in small
towns.  If a guy was from the Paradise area, then odds were he knew at least a
little about Honor’s past and what she’d endured.  Most guys respected the
metaphorically flashing ‘Do Not Touch’ sign that Honor held above her head, but
a few had discounted the warning and pursued her over the years.  Often, Honor
was able to gently shut them down herself without any interference from anyone
else, but there were a select few that she’d had to seek help to dissuade. 
He’d been forced to persuade more than one fellow to walk away from
temptation.   And by persuade, he meant that he’d kicked more than one redneck
ass out of his town.

“Anyway, I didn’t think
much at all about that note or picture.  I gave them to Miss Honor and she just
shrugged them off and rolled her eyes.  She said something about men being men
and left it at that.  A couple weeks later, I was cleaning off another table
and there was another note….”

“Same guy?” Zeke
interrupted, forcing himself to remain calm.

“No.  That’s just
it.  Someone must have dropped the note there after my customers left because I
was waiting on an elderly couple that day.  Anyway, this note and picture… it
wasn’t… right,” she whispered, biting her lips.

“Why?” Zeke asked
sharply.

“First of all, the
picture that dropped out of the note was of Miss Honor when she was young.  She
was wearing a cheerleading uniform.”

Zeke’s blood went
cold.  “What?” he breathed softly.

“It was strange. 
Miss Honor was in a cheerleading uniform, and it looked like she was cheering
at an actual game.  The note… I’ll never forget it.  It said, ‘Remember when
you were young and free?  Do you feel free now, Honor?’  It gave me the creeps,
and when I took it to Honor, she lost every bit of color in her face, Sheriff
Zeke.  I thought she was gonna pass out.  When I asked her if she was okay, she
snatched the note and picture out of my hand and told me to forget I ever saw
it.  She was so rattled, that I never even thought to question her about it. 
We were busy in the restaurant and she got called back into the kitchen. I went
back to work.  Until today, I forgot all about it.  I knew what happened to
Honor when she was a kid, but I didn’t know until Diego told me this afternoon
that she was taken from a football game after she’d been cheerleading.  That
photograph, Zeke… I think it might have been…”

“I understand,
Sunshine,” he clipped tersely.  “Tell me why did all of this come back to you today?”
he asked, his stomach sinking as he watched her bend over to pull out a shoe
box from the navy duffel bag.

Pulling the box out
and putting it in her lap, Sunshine took a deep breath.  “Earlier, when I was
waiting with everyone else outside the emergency room, it dawned on me that
Miss Honor might want a change of clothes if they admitted her to the
hospital.  I knew she kept an emergency bag at the café in case of bad weather
and such.  So, I asked Mr. Fuentes if he’d run me back over there to get it.  I
knew Honor kept it in the locked bottom drawer of her desk in her office so I
thought I’d just run in and get it for her.  I knew she kept the key under the
pen cup so it was a simple chore I could do for her.  This box, here,” she
shared with a shaking voice, “It was on top of the bag when I unlocked the
drawer.  When I pulled it out to get to the bag, I accidentally dropped it and
spilled what was inside.  I’m sorry, but Mr. Fuentes saw it, too,” she
explained, her voice cracking as tears began to slip down her cheeks.  “I
didn’t know she’d kept on getting the letters and pictures, Sheriff Zeke.  She
never said anything to me, I swear!”

Zeke stared at the
box in much the same way he’d eye a rabid dog.  Hesitantly.  Anxiously. 
Slowly, he extended his slightly shaking hand toward it.  “Give it to me,
Sunny.”

Sunshine quickly
passed him the shoebox, clearly relieved to have it out of her custody.  “There
are dozens of notes and photos in there,” she confided huskily.  “And the
pictures… Sheriff, you should know that someone took pictures of her… that
night.”

“That night?” Zeke
echoed, unable to pull his gaze from the lid of the box.

“The night they took
her, Sheriff.  The night that Honor was kidnapped.”

Zeke’s eyes widened
as they shot to the younger woman.  “You mean…”

“When the box fell
out and the pictures scattered, I saw that in a couple, she’s naked and
bleeding.  It looked like they’d nearly beat her to death…“

“Stop!” Zeke ordered
harshly, squeezing his eyes closed as memories of a beaten and broken Honor
assaulted him.  He didn’t need to see the pictures to remember what she’d
looked like after those animals had finished with her.  God, the fact that
someone had been torturing her with those images was enough to make him
homicidal.  Not even anything he’d intercepted had come close to being as awful
as what Sunshine described. 

“Besides Honor, only
you and Fuentes know about this?”

“About the box’s
existence?  Yeah.  Well, not quite.  Your brother knows, too, obviously.  Mr.
Fuentes told him about it as soon as we got back to the hospital.  He promised
you wouldn’t mind,” she added worriedly.

“No, Ice is fine.” 
Running a hand down his face as his mind struggled to come to grips with what
he now held, he hoarsely prompted, “You mentioned Verlena and Bale?”  He wasn’t
sure what the black ex-stripper who now tended bar at the café and the
adolescent busboy that Honor had hired months ago had to do with this, but he
needed every scrap of information he could get since it was clear that Honor
never intended to be forthcoming about the danger she’d been facing. 

“After I spilled the
box on the floor and we got it all picked up, Mr. Fuentes suggested that I ask
Verlena and Bale if they’d…”

“If they, too, had
unwittingly covered for their boss?” Zeke supplied tonelessly.

Sunshine stared at
her clenched hands in her lap before licking her lips.  “Yeah,” she confirmed
softly.  “They both had similar experiences, but neither mentioned seeing any
of the graphic pictures.  Both Bale and Verlena said Honor just told them it
was nothing to be concerned with and for them not to worry.  Neither of them
had any clue what was going on, Sheriff.  None of us did. If we had, believe
me, we’d have all changed the way we did things.  Miss Honor isn’t exactly an
open book about the threats she’s been facing.  We all knew that you and her
brothers-in-law have been keeping a close watch since the car accident, but we
never dreamed that this was the kind of danger she was facing.”

“Yes, it’s clear that
Honor has a habit of trying to ignore things away.  Her stalker.  Her health. 
Her fucking rape eight years ago.  She just pretends that everything is hunky
dory and expects the rest of us to fall right the fuck in line with her,” Zeke
finally exploded, surging out of his chair to restlessly pace the room as he
fought for control.  God, he wanted to strangle her for keeping this from him. 
God only knew what kind of clues she’d been holding in her little box that
could have helped him solve this fuckin’ thing for her.  Of course, to know
that, he’d need to fortify himself to see her as she’d been then. 

“Sheriff, I’m so
sorry,” Sunshine’s small voice apologized as she watched him with bright eyes.

Turning his attention
back to her, Zeke met her terrified gaze.  Holding up his hand, he shook his
head at the shaking woman.  “Sunshine, I’m not angry with you, honey.  I know
you’re doing everything you can for Honor.  My anger is at the assholes trying
to hurt her.”

“I suspect she’ll be
mad that I gave that to you,” she remarked with a sniffle, nodding toward the
box as she wiped the tears off her damp cheeks.

“Trust me, darlin’,
it won’t be you that she’s angry with.  She’s not gonna have time; she’s gotta
deal with me.  Right now, I’m plenty pissed at Honor myself.  She’ll be a bit
too busy tryin’ to get
herself
out of trouble with me to be too put out
with you.”

“I know you’re angry,
Sheriff, but I don’t think she did this to make you crazy.  She just wanted
to…”

“I know what she
wanted, Sunshine.  It’s what she
always
wants.  She wants to avoid
facing her past,” Zeke declared, cutting Sunshine off abruptly. 
“Unfortunately, that past she’s doin’ everything she can to avoid… it has a
direct impact on her present and future.  The fact is that every one of us,
myself included, is going to have to stop aiding her in evading her issues and
help her face them head-on.  Honor has spent months pretending that this
bastard wasn’t torturing her on an almost weekly basis, but that didn’t change
the fact that every night she’s dreamt about him.  The woman wakes up screaming
bloody murder almost every time she closes her eyes.  Pretending this wasn’t
happening… it’s not done a thing for her except land her in a hospital bed
because her body finally decided that it couldn’t deal with the pressure any
longer.  Something has to change, and ONLY Honor can make it happen.  This
time, what Honor NEEDS is going to have to outweigh what she WANTS regardless
of how much she protests it.”

“I couldn’t agree
more, Sheriff,” Aubrey Daniels soft voice spoke from the doorway.  “But, I
think it’s time for you and I to have a chat about the patient in question,
don’t you?”

Startled, Zeke turned
to find Aubrey Daniels’ unsettling copper-colored eyes staring at him with a
simmering intensity he wasn’t sure he liked.  He suspected the woman saw a lot
more than he’d feel comfortable with her knowing about him. “Dr. Daniels?  Is
Honor…”

“Still sleeping when
I looked in on her, I’m afraid,” she replied, dropping her hands into the deep
pockets of her knee length white jacket.   Zeke listened as the doctor
introduced herself to Sunny, the younger woman becoming much more at ease at
the therapist’s easy manner.  Sunny shared the items she’d brought for Honor,
her voice rambling as she obviously tried to prove her desire to help.  

After a few moments,
Zeke rubbed his jaw and took as step forward.  “Thank you, Sun.  I know she’ll
appreciate it.  You’re opening the café tomorrow, right?” he asked, feeling
Bree silently observing the conversation with a watchful gaze.

Sunshine nodded, her
eyes barely meeting the lawman’s as she shuffled from one foot to the other.

“Alright, honey, I’ll
call you there and give you an update.  Thank you for bringing this, and Sunny…
you did the right thing.  Really, you did the right thing.  Believe that,” he
stated resolutely, wrapping one arm around the young woman and giving her a
squeeze as he dropped a kiss on the crown of her head.

Sunshine nodded
briefly against Zeke’s chest before withdrawing from him and hurrying toward
the door.  “I’ll see you later, Sheriff Zeke.  Please call me sooner if
anything changes for Honor.  It was nice to officially meet you, Dr. Daniels.

“You, too, sweetie,”
Bree said with a kind smile as the girl disappeared into the hallway.  Closing
the door behind the younger woman, Bree slowly turned to face Zeke, her eyebrow
arching.  “You were a bit… hard on her when I walked in here, Sheriff.  She
seems awfully young to use as a sounding board about Honor, don’t you think?”

Feeling the blood
rush to his face, Zeke shifted guiltily on his feet, searching for a reasonable
explanation for why he’d run off at the mouth with Sunshine.  Sadly, he came up
empty.  “You know Miss Orla and I hired you to be Honor’s therapist.  You’re
analyzing the wrong person,” he grumbled, his voice low and grumpy.

“Consider this a
freebie from a friend,” Bree countered easily, her unnervingly intense gaze
never moving from Zeke’s face.

Shooting her a glare,
Zeke fought a yell.  He knew Bree was trying to help, but right now, the only
thing he wanted to do was check on Honor and go through the damn box he held
for a clue as to who might have targeted his woman.  He didn’t have time for
psychological babble… no matter how accurate that babble might be.

Bree snorted.  “The
dirty looks don’t scare me, Sheriff.  I grew up with Mackenzie Daniels.  He
perfected the disgusted snarl at age five.  Plus, after living in metropolitan
cities my entire life, I’m now living in a town without a mall or a Starbucks. 
I mean, my most recent home was Portland, and I think it might have been the
coffee capital of the world.  Sacrifices have been made, Zeke.  Add that to the
fact that I’ve spent time profiling some pretty icky serial killers for my
thesis, and I’m pretty much unshakeable.  Walking on the wild side is kinda
what I do.  You’ll have to do a whole lot better than a contemptuous look to
frighten me.”

“Mack mentioned that
you could be a ball buster,” Zeke finally said with a sigh.  “You’d get along
well with Honor’s sister, Patience.”  He collapsed into one of the chairs when
it became clear by the set of her stubborn jaw that she wasn’t going to back
down.  She didn’t know it yet since she was fairly new to town, but he was
pretty damn good at reading people, too.  “You’re right, Bree.  I shouldn’t
have unloaded on Sunny like that.  I guess I’m a little overwhelmed by
everything that’s happened today.  I’ll let her know I was in the wrong
tomorrow.”

“Fair enough,” Bree
agreed with a nod as she moved to the seat across from him that Sunshine had vacated
earlier.  “Now, let’s talk about the reason I tracked you down.  I’m actually
glad to find you in here rather than Honor’s room.  I’m not sure she should be
privy to this conversation.”

“Okay. Shoot.  Where
Honor’s concerned, I’ll help any way I can.”

“Yes, that’s what her
sisters and aunt said when we talked earlier.  Between them and town lore, it’s
a well-known fact that you’re Honor’s champion.  Her knight in shining armor,”
she informed him, leaning back in her chair and crossing her trim legs as she
tilted her head, assessing him.

“If I’m a knight, I
can assure you the armor is well-dented and severely tarnished.  And believe
me, Doc… I don’t think Honor shares her sisters’ romantic notions.”

Bree smiled faintly. 
“You
do
try to stand between her and whatever would cause her pain
though, don’t you?” she prodded knowingly.

Zeke’s eyes narrowed
as he tried to figure out the intelligent woman’s angle.  Of course he tried to
protect Honor.  Hell, he’d killed for her, and he’d do it again without hesitation
if it meant she’d sleep better at night.  God knew, he’d die for her in a
heartbeat if it ever became necessary, but he prayed that it didn’t since his
greatest desire was to spend the rest of his life loving her if she’d let him. 
Fuck yeah, he’d put himself between her and trouble in a New York minute. 
“Eight years ago, I failed Honor in a way I can never undo when she needed me
the most, Doc.  I don’t intend to make the same mistake twice.  So, yeah, I
make it a habit to put myself between her and anything that’d hurt her.”

“Yeah.  Thought so,”
Bree acknowledged, offering him a long, steady look before adding, “I’m gonna
need you to stop that.”

Zeke stiffened as her
statement penetrated.  Slowly leaning forward in his chair, his jaw clenched as
he gripped the wood armrests tightly.  “Excuse me?”

“I’m going to need
you to Stop. Doing. That,” she repeated, carefully enunciating each word.

“Hmmm,” Zeke hummed
thoughtfully as he wondered if this woman knew how close he was to losing his
temper entirely.  “Let me think about that,” he said slowly before quickly
adding a sharp, “No!”

Aubrey chuckled at
that.  “I figured you’d say that, too.  Mack owes me ten bucks.”

“He thought I’d agree
with you?” Zeke growled.

“No, he thought you’d
fire me,” she returned, markedly unconcerned.

“That’s a distinct
possibility.”  Taking a deep breath as he willed himself to relax, he gave her
a measured look.  “Tell me why you just suggested that I change the way I
protect my woman.”

Clearing her throat,
Bree snorted.  “
Your
woman.  See, the way I’ve heard things, that’s the
one thing that Honor insists she is NOT.”

“Honor is confused,”
Zeke stated flatly. 

“Agreed.  From what
I’ve learned, she’s got good reason to be.  A lot has happened in her very
short life to confuse her.  My job is to help her get some clarity, and I can’t
have your caveman tendencies interfering with that where my patient is
concerned.  You can’t keep protecting Honor from pain.  She needs to feel it. 
Experience it.  Deal with it.  Then, ultimately, move on from it.”

“I don’t exactly
disagree, but I don’t see how you think I’m hampering that process,” Zeke
noted, his gray eyes perplexed as they focused on the doctor.

“I don’t think you do
it intentionally.  Not from what I’ve seen and heard.  I just think that as
long as you allow it, Honor will use you as a buffer between herself and her
pain.  The same way she’ll use her sisters.  I don’t think it’s intentionally
done by her, but it is what it is, Zeke.  And it’s called enabling.”

He hated that she had
a point.  Fuckin’ despised it.  However none of that changed the fact that she
was right.

“Okay,” he
consented.  “I’ll check myself.  Maybe now would be a good time for you to tell
me your expectations of me, Doc,” he suggested.  “You don’t exactly seem like
the shy type, so let me have it.”

“You’re right.  I’m
not the tiniest bit bashful,” she said truthfully.  “In fact, where my patients
are concerned, I will guard them with the vigilance of a junkyard dog.  Because
as of this afternoon, Honor McKinnon is now my priority.  She’s my patient. 
And as much as I like the McKinnon clan and am amused by their antics, and as
much as I respect you and how much you obviously love my newest patient, I will
not tolerate anyone – family, friend, or foe – getting in the way of Honor’s
recovery from the traumas she’s endured.  From her parents’ death when she was
just a little kid to her kidnapping and gang rape as a teenager all the way up
to the most recent attempts on her life, she has been through ordeal after ordeal. 
And from what I’m told, she’s spent a lot of time and energy avoiding her
feelings about all of it.  She focuses on others.  She takes care of everybody
else.  She’s made herself into a martyr, Zeke, and she is much too young and
vibrant a woman for that nonsense.”

“On that we agree,”
he murmured.

“Good.  I’m glad. 
You need to understand, though, that once we convince Honor that she needs
therapy and she agrees to treatment, your capacity in all of this will be
limited to what she feels like allowing you.  To be clearer, I do not work for
either you or the McKinnon family.  My sole obligation is to Honor.  Once she’s
able, she’ll steer the course of her therapy and you’ll be involve as much or
as little as she sees fit.  I won’t discuss her with you without her express
permission.  You won’t be included in sessions unless she permits it.  Because
I know that you are a huge part of her life and because you are not an idiot,
you know that you’ll be discussed.  Please understand, Zeke, that in this, I’m not
on your ‘side’,” she explained, using air quotes.  “Technically, I don’t have a
side.  I’m simply an advocate for my patient.  When it’s appropriate, and if I
deem it necessary, I will suggest including you in some of our sessions, but
ultimately, it will be up to Honor.  After today, if you want to talk about
your feelings with me where Honor is concerned, I’m gonna need you to become a
patient.  Otherwise, I can’t help you unless I feel she is in mortal danger and
I need your input as her medical proxy.  Am I making myself heard?”

“Loud and clear,”
Zeke returned evenly, but clearly unhappy about the turn of events.

“Zeke,” Bree said
softly.  “Before I begin interacting with Honor as her doctor, I have some
questions that might help me to have answered by you.  They are, however,
personal and may be uncomfortable for you to answer honestly.”

“I’ve never had a
problem being truthful, and if it will help Honor in the long run, fuck my
feelings.  Just ask,” Zeke ordered flatly.

Bree nodded as she
pulled a small notebook and ink pen from her coat pocket.  “Mind if I take
notes?”

Zeke shook his head,
anxious for her just to pose her intrusive questions so that he could get back
to his girl. 

“Sheriff, I think
your commitment and loyalty to Honor is admirable, and you’ve been clear with
both her, her family, and half the town about being in love with her.  But I
have to ask, are you sure this is an actual and authentic romantic affection
that you feel for her and not some misplaced and misguided guilt you feel for
not saving her eight years ago?  Perhaps, this is more a need to make things up
to her rather than love.   Sometimes one can feel like the other.  It’s an easy
mistake to make, and it happens a lot more often than you might think.”

“You sound just like
Honor every time I try to explain my feelings to her,” Zeke grunted as his
shoulders tensed.  He knew he should be accustomed to defending what he felt
for Honor, but it had never happened for him.  It pissed him off each and every
time. “Or maybe it’s my brother you remind me of.  He regularly attempts to
talk me into going out and fucking another woman to try and get Honor out of my
system.  He seems to mistakenly believe all women are interchangeable and any
one of them could curb this ache I feel for Honor.  I’ll give you the same
answer I give both of them:  A man knows when he’s in love because it’s not
just a feeling in his gut.  It becomes a way of life for him.  It’s in every
move he makes and every act he performs.  Honor is, quite simply, my life. 
It’s a simple truth that I accepted a real long time ago.  I don’t bother
questioning it any longer because she’s become a pivotal part of the fucking
man I am.  I make no apologies for that. Mostly, because loving her made me a
better man,” he informed her bluntly.  “Now, are you gonna ask me if I have a
savior complex next, Doc?  It’s usually Honor’s next go-to excuse as to why I
can’t possibly be feeling what I know I feel, or will you mix it up and accuse
me of having a hero complex?”

“Interesting.  Do you
think you suffer from either condition?” she questioned blandly, blinking at
him with curious eyes.

Zeke blew out a long
breath and shook his head at the woman sitting serenely in front of him as if
she were discussing the weather with him rather than the woman that made his
blood heat and his heart race.  “Mack was wrong about you, Doc.  You’re not a
ball buster.  You’re a ball crusher.  And you never even break a sweat.”

Bree smiled.  “And
that,
Sheriff, is a classic avoidance tactic.  Well done, but I’m still gonna
need an answer to my question.”