Man Seeks Woman 2, Man Seeks Wife (4 page)

Hmmm!

I turned in my
seat and scanned the bar. I blinked at the other customers, trying
to get my eyes to stop from two of each person appearing. When my
eyes stopped playing tricks on me, I scanned the girls around,
looking for ones that had that vibe and look about them that
screamed ‘come and get me’.

“Her.” I
pointed my pink fingernail at a dark haired woman in the corner all
by herself. Her own eyes seemed to be taking everyone in from her
little space.

Brad leaned
into my side, his head tilted and his dark eyes narrowed. He
watched her for a minute before asking, “Are you sure?”

“Yep,” I
nodded and reached for my drink, taking a little sip. “Go get her,
tiger.”

“What about
you?”

I snorted,
accidentally snorting the drink up my nose. I coughed and
spluttered all over myself and Brad until he handed me back his
handkerchief. “Oh shit.” My eyes were even worse than before and I
felt liquid in my sinuses.

Yuck!

“Are you
okay?”

“Fine,” I blew
my nose, loudly then cleared my throat. “Get going, Brad.”

“What about
you?” he asked again. I could see he wanted to go because his leg
was bouncing and his hands were fidgeting all over the place and
not to mention, his eyes were flicking between me and the girl in
the corner.

“Oh.” I
dragged out the word on a sigh. “I’ll be fine. I’ll probably find
some random guy in here, get him to buy me a couple more drinks
then when I can’t feel anything anymore, I’ll let him take me
outside and fuck me into oblivion against a dirty skank wall.”

Brad’s eyes
were wide and animated as he swallowed. “Seriously,”

“Yeah,” Or
maybe not, I sighed again. “Or I’ll just go home in the state I’m
in now or a little worse and use my vibrator thinking about a man
that is continuously haunting my thoughts and hope to cum my lot
all over myself.”

Damn, I was
being honest tonight.

The beer Brad
had just inhaled came spraying out of his mouth as he choked. The
liquid landed down the front of his shirt and all over the table. I
stood up quickly and thumped his back. “Did your Mother not tell
you to chew your food?” I joked, wiping his face with the
handkerchief. “Mind yourself.”

“Fucking hell,
Victoria,” He shook his head and blinked, still wide eyed at me.
“How comes you haven’t got a boyfriend?”

“I don’t do
boyfriends.” I said quietly. I didn’t do anything recently. Oh God,
I could feel a pity party coming on. “Time for more drinks,”

Yep drinks
would definitely help right about now.

“I’ll get us
some more.”

Brad stood and
went to move but I grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him. “Why aint
you go getting that bird? I thought you wanted to get laid.”

“I do.” He
sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “But...I like talking
with you and I can always watch her from here for a while.”

“I’m not sure
I want your company.” I told him honestly. I didn’t want to hurt
his feelings but he was young, younger than me and I didn’t want to
spoil his fun with the shit going on in my life.

“Right,” He
said and walked off towards the bar.

I sighed
heavily and slunk back into the booth. My phone in my bag chimed,
telling me I had a new text message. My hand went to grab it but I
thought better of it and left it where it was. Whoever the hell it
was could wait.

Minutes later,
Brad was back with another round of drinks. Clearly he had ignored
me.

“You don’t
know what you’re letting yourself in for.” I warned snatching my
drink.

“How about you
let me decide that?”

“Fine,” I
snapped and sipped at my drink. I bit my lip and tapped my foot
against the table leg, eying him over the rim of my glass. “I
haven’t had a good shag in six months.” I blurted out all in one
go.

Brad nodded
slowly and sat back in the booth. “That’s not that long, Vic.
People have gone longer, much longer.”

I made a face,
huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, somewhat petulantly. “It
is for me especially when the last shag you had was one of the
best.”

“Me and my
girlfriend didn’t have sex very often; she was more into other
things.” He shifted again and even blushed a little. Even with the
cake layer of tan on his face, I could tell. “And well, I wanted
the sex and she wanted the other things, many other things. I guess
that’s why she cheated on me.”

“That’s no
reason to cheat, buddy.” And it fucking well wasn’t. People these
days got right on my tits.

Now, he
snorted but said nothing. We sat in silence until he shifted in his
seat again. His manicured tipped fingers tapped softly on the edge
of the table. “Were you hurt by someone recently?”

“Hurt?” I blew
out a breath. “Me?” I patted my chest and shook my head.
“Never,”

The way Brad
looked at me made me now shift in my seat. Suddenly, he looked
older and wiser and damn right inquisitive. “Denial,” He said
simply.

Was I really
that transparent?

I was a
fucking liar is what I was.

“You’re
right.” I gave in and slumped in my seat. I gripped my glass in my
hand and ran my fingers down the side of it, back and fourth, up
and down. “I got so hurt, I cried for God sake. Me, Victoria
Jennings cried over a man.” I slammed my hand down on the table
again. “I cried over a man.” I admitted this
huge
statement
a little quieter this time. “I think about him all the time, the
fucker. I want to thump him one minute with my shoe then love him
the next minute. I want him between my legs then I never want to
see his,” I groaned and slapped my hands over my face. “Gorgeous
face again.” and Sebastian was gorgeous, there was no doubt about
it.

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah,” I
nodded and whimpered, pouting a little as well. “Oh shit.”

“Do you know
what the best thing for a broken heart is?”

I looked up at
Brad; his brown eyes were filled with a little pity and some
understanding. I sighed whilst sitting back against the seat.
“Nope,” I said with a pop.

“More
alcohol,”

Best idea I’ve
heard all night. “Line em’ up, cowboy,”

Humph.

Today was just
not my day.

It started
with my alarm clock not working because my electric had run out
therefore nothing electrical worked
. Duh, of course not.
The
only reason I woke up was because my neighbour Mr. Jones thought it
was a good idea to start his home redecoration at seven o’clock in
the pigging morning.

Normally, I
would have been out of bed at that time and in the shower or
burning toast as I got ready for work.

Of course,
this morning I wasn’t.

The moment I
woke up, I knew something was wrong. I fished the phone off my side
table and screamed when I saw the time. I practically fell out of
the bed and then tripped over last nights heels that I hadn’t put
away. I kicked them aside and quickly scrabbled through my wardrobe
wondering what the hell I was supposed to wear and found
practically nothing because being the lazy shit that I was, I
didn’t do my washing yesterday like I was supposed to.

Instead last
night, I’d gone out with the idea in mind to get laid but that
didn’t happen. In return, I met Brad who became my new BFF. Proper
nice guy that Brad. After I’d gotten home, I’d obviously stripped
out of my clothing, dumping them all on the floor then collapsed in
bed.

So, I stood in
front of my wardrobe with my head in my hands and cried pitifully
at the scraps of what I had left which was a leopard print
sleeveless shirt that was totally inappropriate for December in
London and another skirt that I had to fight with the devil to get
into. I snatched both items from the hangers and dumped them on my
bed. I then went to the underwear drawer where I cursed a blue
streak to heaven and back again when I saw that the only underwear
I had were thongs.

Of course I
liked thongs just as most women liked them but not today. Today, I
would have preferred to wear comfy knickers but no, it just wasn’t
meant to be.

Pushing my
underwear drawer closed, I opened the next one for my bras and
tights only to see that I didn’t in fact have any tights clean. I
had only stockings and forty-denier at that. I grimaced and yanked
them out with a support bra and slid the drawer closed with my
hip.

Not having
time for a shower, I quickly washed with cold water because even
though I had more than enough gas available, I needed the boiler to
heat it, therefore needing electricity, which I didn’t have. The
mood I was in once I finished the wash was not good, not good at
all.

I got dressed
and wrestled for a good ten minutes with the black stretchy skirt
that like yesterday’s one, stuck to me like a second skin. I also
had to fight to get the stockings up my legs without my nails
creating runners. Then I had to clip the belt onto the tops of the
stockings with said long nails that seriously needed a good
manicure.

Once I was
finished, I grabbed my handbag and stuffed my makeup bag inside it,
pledging that I would do my usual routine once I got into work. I
skipped breakfast and locked up my flat only to get down the road
and the heavens to open up.

I dug through
my oversized handbag for my teeny bright pink umbrella that I’d
gotten for a steal in the pound shop and pushed the little button,
waiting for it to pop up but did it? No. I stood fighting with it
in the middle of my street with the stupid pink thing, rattling it
in my hands and throwing it out for it to spring open but it never
did.

In temper I
threw the devil object aside and watched in shocked amazement as it
popped open the moment it hit the concrete.

The heavy rain
poured over me soaking my faux fur coat that was no doubt ruined
now as I stood with a slack jaw watching my umbrella smiling at me
from the ground. Looking either side of me to make sure no-one in
particular was watching, I quickly ran over to it on my heels and
bent down to pick the thing up only for it to collapse back in my
hands again, deflating like a rubber ring with a hole in it.

“Stupid
fucking thing,” I muttered and threw it back to the ground again
and turned around only to step into a puddle and soak my entire
foot.

From then on,
I walked to the tube station completely soaked and one of my feet
squelching every time I took a step.

Fifteen
minutes later and looking like a completely drowned rat, I finally
reached the Tube station only for the trains to be delayed due to
some signal failure at Liverpool Street Station. I groaned and
walked down the steps slowly, avoiding the little puddles of dirty
water that had formed. I walked all the way down to the end of the
packed platform and huddled myself into one of the corners.

Now as I stood
there, I blew out a breath and wiped away the wet hair from my
forehead as I checked my watch. It was near half past eight. I was
supposed to be in work at eight o’clock.

With a frown
that was perpetually marred on my face by now, I rummaged through
my handbag for my phone and groaned out loud then slapped my
forehead with the palm of my hand when I realised that I left my
stupid phone on the bedside cabinet.

This was just
not my day, it really wasn’t.

All around me,
the rain got heavier, big splats of it landing on the platform,
creating little puddles everywhere.

The train came
minutes later and was absolutely crammed. I ran to the carriage and
barged my way through, not giving a toss about the comments or
people clucking their tongues and cursing me to death. I needed to
get to work damn it. If they wanted to stand around like knobs,
then be my guest.

I managed to
get onto the train and wished I hadn’t. I got pushed up against a
beast of a man who smelt like he’d not showered in fucking forever.
I pulled a face as I tried to turn away from his arm pit that was
currently in my face but I couldn’t. Dear God, the man smelled like
a corpse.

Okay, I got
it. I understood and accepted that there were people out there in
the world that were in fact allergic to soap for various reasons
but come on! Did that mean that they had to walk around smelling?
No.

Holding my
breath did nothing but make my lungs burn and my eyes water. I
tried lowering my head but that put my forehead and hair against
his sweat stained armpit. The man wasn’t even wearing a coat even
though it was December for Christ’s sake. If he’d been wearing one,
perhaps it might have masked the overwhelming stench omitting from
him.

I closed my
eyes tight and tried to breath in clean air but it wasn’t
happening. I opened my eyes again and looked around into the eyes
of another woman who looked to be having the same problem as me.
She stood by the opposite door with an extremely tall man’s armpit
in her face. I was kind of jealous; her man had a coat on at
least.

I grimaced at
her and she smiled before lowering her head.

The man with
his pit in my face shifted and rubbed up against me. I span around
in the tight cramped space and shoved my finger in his gut. “Move
away boyo.” I snapped.

Said man
looked down at me. The stubble on his face was more than just a
couple of day’s growth and he had yellow headed spots around his
mouth and cheeks. Ugh. “Sorry.” He mumbled and tried to move again
only to rub himself up against me again.

Sorry my
arse.

A gasp left me
when I felt something hard, something very hard press into my side.
My mouth opened in shock then snapped shut. I didn’t fucking think
so. I elbowed the people who were cramming me against him and got
them to move, so I could move away from him.