Man Who Loved Pride and Prejudice (11 page)

   Cassie stared at the machine in dismay. Just when she finally accepted that she meant nothing to Calder, he turned around and did something like this. What was she supposed to do? Maybe he was like his father, warmly polite one moment, nasty the next. She followed Erin into the kitchen.

   Erin filled the dented teapot and placed it on the burner. "Thanks for rescuing me. I didn't feel comfortable staying with Scott's father there."

   "Scott's father? You mean Calder's father." Cassie tossed her sweater over the straight-backed chair. The cottage felt particularly small and shabby after Penzance Point.

   "The other one. Hiram."

   He had barely registered with Cassie. "But his last name was different from Scott's."

   Erin developed an intense interest in looking through their stash of herbal teas. "Scott's illegitimate. He has his mother's name."

   Cassie pulled up a chair to the wobbly kitchen table. She'd always thought Scott came from the same sort of background as Calder. "Surely his father knows Scott sleeps with his girlfriends."

   Erin peered inside one of the mugs and rinsed off a microscopic piece of dust. "Oh, he knows, all right. It was how he made me feel about it. Like I was a possession, along with the fancy house on the ocean and the sailboat, another sign of Scott's success. The pretty blonde in his bed. It was creepy."

"Eww. What did Scott do?"

   "I don't know if he noticed. He doesn't know his father very well."

   "How can he not know his father?"

   Erin finally selected a box of tea. "He only met his father a couple of times when he was growing up. Hiram didn't acknowledge him until he was in college and becoming a credit to the family."

   "Ouch."

   "Really. Scott's never met his half-brothers and sister, though they know all about him. Daddy's proud of him but doesn't let him mix with the real family. When he gave Scott the money to buy Cambridge Biotech, he told him it was an early inheritance, because Scott won't be mentioned in his will." Erin poured the hot water into the mugs and handed one to Cassie.

   "Because his mother was the other woman?"

   "Worse. It's because his mother is a quarter AfricanAmerican, and his father is a Southern so-called gentleman. Tainted blood, and all that."

   Cassie wrinkled her nose. "What does Scott think about all this?"

   "He's never talked about it. I found this out from Calder. Their fathers are buddies. Calder knows his legitimate kids. I don't think he likes them."

   "Why?" And why would Calder have told Erin any of this?

   "I don't know. I asked him what they were like, and he said, 'Well, you won't see me spending the summer with one of them.'"

   "How long is Scott's father staying?"

   "He's leaving tomorrow, thank God." Yawning, Erin put her mug in the sink. "I'm going to bed. I can't keep your hours."

   "Good night." Cassie remained at the table, her hands wrapped around her tea. Maybe Erin would have a little more time for her now. It felt good to talk to Erin, to really talk about something important, not just work. She'd hoped they would have lots of times like this over the summer, but that was before Scott. Cassie had probably told Calder more of her problems than she had told Erin. But she couldn't blame Erin for her choice. Erin had fun with Scott, and all Cassie had to offer her was more work.

   When had she given up having a life of her own? There was a time Cassie had socialized more, joining other researchers for an evening out or a day trip to Boston. At Haverford she had friends she spent time with. But this summer was different. Maybe it was the tenure pressure.

   She wished Calder were there, the quiet Calder who listened to her. He never expected her to be strong for him, and when she let her guard down and admitted something bothered her, it didn't make him uncomfortable. But that was only a small part of Calder Westing, and she could never survive an affair with the cold, silent man he was most of the time. Discouraged, she rested her head in her hands. It wasn't going to be easy to forget him.

ERIN TRUDGED INTO THE lab at ten in the morning. Cassie, with one look at her friend's stricken expression, limited herself to a quiet hello.

   "He's going to stop by on his way out of town to say good-bye." Erin didn't have to say who. Scott was leaving that day.

   Cassie had been looking forward to this day almost as much as Erin had been dreading it. She was tired of worrying about whether she would run into Calder somewhere in town. The stress of it only made her turn even more into her work. Then, the previous night, as she lay in bed, she had horrified herself by bursting into tears when she realized she would never see him again. But it was better this way. Now it was over, and perhaps she could get on with her life.

   She had planned to ask Erin to enter data today, but her friend was in no condition to concentrate on anything important. She'd have to do it herself. Casting about for a task where Erin could do no harm, Cassie suggested cleaning out the specimen tanks.

   The physical effort seemed to calm Erin. When Scott finally arrived an hour later, she was able to greet him with a shaky smile.

   Cassie didn't bother to get up from her desk. Scott wasn't there to see her. She turned back to the computer to give them some privacy. The data spreadsheet was almost done.

   It was hard to ignore the whispered conversation in the background. Cassie wished they would leave and let her work. Maybe she should go down to the coffee shop for a few minutes. Scott would probably be gone by the time she returned.

   She saved and closed the spreadsheet. Pushing her chair back, she caught sight of a figure in the doorway. Calder was watching her silently, as he had so often in the past. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Why was he there? He had his own car. He wouldn't be riding with Scott.

   She looked back at him, remembering all the conflicting sides of him she had seen. She tried to summon her righteous indignation from their last meeting, but it had fled, and she could only think of his dark eyes, still fixed on her.

   Erin and Scott were in each other's arms off to the side, oblivious to everything around them. At least Cassie hoped they were oblivious. If Erin spotted the tension flowing between her and Calder, she'd never hear the end of it.

   She wondered why Calder didn't come in. Had he decided not to set foot in her lab unless invited? Perhaps she should take him to the coffee shop. It might give her some sense of closure if they managed to have a normal conversation. She crossed the floor until she stood near him. "You're leaving today, too?"

   "Tomorrow."

   His curt response reminded her of his proud and remote side, the Calder Westing who could barely spare a word for anyone else. It broke the tension she felt inside, that sense of connection. She didn't let any sign slip that it disturbed her, even though it hurt. No lover of hers had ever deemed her unworthy to speak to before. "I hope you have a good trip."

   There was a moment's silence before he responded. "Thanks."

   Why had he come, if he wasn't willing to talk to her? "Are you hoping to avoid the traffic?"

   "No." He shifted from one foot to the other. "I'm just… not ready."

   Somehow she knew he wasn't talking about packing. "It's hard to leave here at the end of the summer."

   "Yes." His eyes locked with hers again.

   It wasn't just her. Cassie recognized the look in his eyes. She had seen it that night on the beach.

   Calder took her by the elbow and propelled her into the hall. She opened her mouth to ask what he thought he was doing, but before any words could come out, he was kissing her hungrily, tangling his hands in her hair. And she was responding, as if there had been no quarrel between them, as if she had no choice once he touched her, as if she had to steal every possible second with him.

   They were in full view of anyone who might step out into the hall or come up the stairs. The thought was enough to shock Cassie out of her state of confused desire. She stepped back, but not far enough for safety. His hands were still on her face, her cheeks, her neck, and she didn't want him to stop. The way he was looking at her made her entire body hunger for his touch.

   "Not here." She glanced around nervously.

   His hands dropped to his sides. "Come back to the house with me."

   She wanted to say yes, to forget everything she had decided, to live in the moment and pretend this wasn't going to hurt later on. "I can't. Erin's going to need me."

   He must have been able to hear the conflict in her voice. "Later, then."

   How could she have a PhD and still feel as if she had forgotten how to speak English? "I… don't know."

   There was a sound from inside the lab. Cassie looked in and saw Erin in tears, as she had expected. She glanced at Calder. "She's going to fall apart if he drags this out any longer."

   Calder nodded silently and moved past her into the lab. "Scott, it's time to hit the road."

   "What?" Scott said. "Oh, right." He kissed Erin lightly one more time. "I'll be back next weekend, and I'm only two hours away."

   Erin tried to sniff back her tears. "Drive carefully."

   "I'll email you as soon as I'm home." At the door Scott gave Cassie a friendly kiss on the cheek.

   "Bye, Scott." Cassie was far more aware of the man standing behind him.

   With one last glance at Erin, Scott left the lab. Calder, following him, paused only a moment to touch the back of Cassie's hand.

   Erin's hands were over her face. Cassie seized the distraction and put her arm around her.

   "It's okay, sweetie. He'll be back in just a few days."

   "It won't be the same. It won't ever be the same again."

   Cassie hugged her. "You don't know that. Give him

a chance. He's not some young grad student getting his first whiff of freedom."

   "He doesn't love me." Erin started to cry harder.

   "Did he say that?"

   "He didn't need to. It's who he is. He's wonderful, warm, thoughtful, and fun, but his feelings are off-limits. He doesn't go there."

   "That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you." Cassie half-led Erin to a lab stool. She knew from experience Erin's reaction could go on for some time.

   By the time Erin was finally calm and back at work, if halfheartedly, Cassie felt exhausted. Too many emotional ups and downs. What had happened to the nice, calm life she had planned for herself? Calder Westing had happened to it, for one thing.

   What had she been thinking, letting him kiss her like that, not to mention kissing him back? Or perhaps that was the entire problem. She
hadn't
been thinking. She had been feeling. He could make her forget herself with just a look. He had only said a dozen or so words to her, no more than twenty, she was sure.

   Was he waiting for her at Scott's house, wondering if she would come? It was crazy. Why had he suddenly decided he wanted her again? It wasn't just amusement value this time, she was sure of that, but she was equally certain all he wanted was her body. Still, she remembered what he had said about not being ready to leave yet. She knew what it felt like, the sense of grasping at the last days of summer. Perhaps that was why. She somehow represented the summer to him.

   She would be out of her mind to go. It would be asking to be hurt. She might as well stick her hand over a lighted Bunsen burner. It wasn't as if
she
wanted to hold on to this long, lonely summer. She wanted to forget.

   Cassie snatched her keys from the desk. "Erin, I have an errand to do. I'll be back in a while."

   "Sure. Whatever." Erin, sounding dispirited, didn't even look up from the specimen tanks.

   Cassie found her car in the crowded lot and tossed her lab coat on the passenger seat. There hadn't been a problem parking at six this morning, but she would have a hard time finding a space for her car when she came back. She drove carefully around the blind corner at the Marine Fisheries Aquarium, watching for children who often ran out heedlessly into the street in front of the seal pen. When she saw the guard booth at Penzance Point, she almost lost her nerve and turned around. But apparently she looked familiar enough to the guard, and he waved her through.

   She stopped the car in the circular driveway of Scott's house. Her hand rested on the keys in the ignition. Did she really want to do this? It was completely unlike her. She looked uncertainly at the house. Calder was standing in the doorway. He must have heard her drive up.

   She had come too far to back down now. Opening the car door, she made her way up the steps to the deck where he was waiting for her. He was watching her unsmilingly again, leaving her dizzy, her skin charged with electricity. She stopped directly in front of him.

   It was like the morning all over again. There was no discussion, no slow, subtle approach, no flirtation, just his hands on her waist and sliding down to her hips. Her body had no uncertainties.