Man Who Loved Pride and Prejudice (35 page)

   She had always known this day would come. She'd hoped it wouldn't be this soon, but it had been a foregone conclusion that a romance between them couldn't survive long. Was it too much to wish for more than a few weeks together?

   Perhaps she should have taken Joe up on his offer. If she was going to lose Calder anyway, why not take the chance he could do something for Ryan? A slight chance was better than none. But she couldn't bear to give up on Calder.

   She couldn't sleep that night. Scenarios kept running through her head in which Joe Westing used his connections to destroy her career at Haverford. The trustees had no official say in the tenure process, but pressure could be brought to bear. Major donors to the college were in extremely short supply. Assistant professors could be replaced easily. If he had a smear campaign in mind, he could ruin her reputation at Haverford to the point where it would be painful for her to stay. And if he ever talked to some of her colleagues about her family and they told him what they knew, he might put two and two together about what she had done. Even if she were found not guilty of harboring, it would never be the same.

   By three in the morning she was ready to call Joe Westing and agree to whatever terms he wanted if only he would leave her alone. But eventually she cried herself to sleep, and in the daytime her panic receded a little and her pride reasserted itself. She wouldn't do anything until she talked to Calder. She needed his knowledge of his father. Even if he wasn't interested in her anymore, he wouldn't leave her in the lurch. He wasn't that kind of person. He would help her figure out what to do before he left.

   Finally, tired of crying, she forced herself to take a shower and go to her office. She couldn't think well enough to make lesson plans, but preparing handouts didn't take much thought. She tried to catch up on her reading in professional journals, but she found herself flipping to the back to look at ads for openings for biologists at other colleges.

   She didn't go home until late, reluctant to face her empty apartment where she had been so happy with Calder. At least she still had some sleeping pills from when the problems with Ryan were at their worst, and they would let her sleep through the night.

   At home, she discovered a brief email from Calder, saying he would be arriving in Haverford the next afternoon. It began with his usual affectionate "Cassie love," and was signed "Looking forward to seeing you." She couldn't explain why it made her cry again.

Calder hurried up the stairs to the apartment, impatient to be with Cassie. The door to the apartment was locked. He frowned. He'd thought Cassie would be there to greet him. He checked his cell phone to see if he'd missed a call, but there was no message. Perhaps she didn't get his email, but that wasn't like her. Disappointed, he fished out his key and unlocked the door.

   But she was there, sitting on the couch with her feet tucked under her, her face wan. She didn't make any move toward him, or even smile. What had happened while he was away? Had she changed her mind about him? Was that why there was no answer on New Year's Eve, when he finally broke down and tried to call her? He'd tried to convince himself she was probably with friends, but maybe he had been right to worry.

   He should never have left her alone for so long. It must have given her a chance to remember all the reasons she shouldn't be involved with him.

   If she was going to break up with him, he wanted to hold her one more time. He crossed the room and took her in his arms, afraid she would push him away. But she hugged him back, laying her head against his shoulder as if weary. He pressed soft kisses against her hair.

   When she finally pulled back, her hands still clung to his. Cassie broke the silence first. "If you're planning to break up with me, I'd count it as a favor if you did it right away and didn't drag this out."

   Where did she get these ideas? "I'm not planning to break up with you. Are you planning to break up with me?"

   "No," she said. "Why would I want to do that?"

   "No reason—every reason." The relief was shocking in its intensity. Then she was in his arms again, and he kissed her passionately as if their physical closeness could heal the distance between them. Then he tasted salt on her lips and realized she was crying. "What's the matter?"

   She shook her head. "Nothing. I was sure you were coming to tell me it was over."

   "No. Far from it. About as far from it as you can get."

   "I didn't know why else you'd stay away so long."

   He drew her over to the couch, finding an extraordinary relief when she leaned against him with a sigh. He slipped his hand inside her sweater for the comfort of touching her. "I ran into a problem. I found out my father's planning to create trouble for you at the college."

   "I know."

   "You know?"

   "He paid me a visit the day before yesterday. He tried to bribe me to leave you."

   "What? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. He must have been afraid I wouldn't give in to his blackmail." Anger and fear smoldered in him at the idea of his father alone with Cassie. What had he done to make her so subdued?

   "Blackmail?" Cassie blotted her eyes with a tissue. "What was he threatening to do to you?"

   "Not to me. He knows he could threaten
me
forever and it wouldn't make me leave you, but hurting you was something else. He says you won't get tenure. That's why I needed time. I had to figure out what to do about it." He let himself feel the warmth of her flesh beneath his hand.

"You should have told me," she said fiercely.

   "I know that now. That's one of the things I figured out."

   "All right." She took a deep breath. "So what did you decide?"

   "I came up with some different ideas. Mostly they were ways to blackmail him into backing down. It might still come down to that, but I don't like threatening people. I don't want to be like him." He took her hand and held it tightly, nervous about what was coming next.

   "Fair enough. So that's the last resort. But what does that leave?"

   This was it. Now he would find out the truth of what he meant to her. "It leaves getting married."

   She pulled back abruptly and eyed him. Sounding more like herself, she said, "Isn't that a little excessive?"

   "I have my reasons. But I didn't mean to tell you this way. I wanted to have a ring for you and the kind of proposal you deserve."

   Cassie gestured with her hand, as if to say rings and proposals were nothing. "I can't see it stopping him. If he'd ruin my career to hurt you, he certainly wouldn't stop just because we were married."

   "No, but we could stop him. The trustee he knows donates big bucks to the college. That's why he has power. If you're my wife, we can outbid him. Haverford's not going to want to lose you if you're a major donor."

   "That would cost you a lot of money."

   "I don't care about money. I care about you. Besides, the college is a good cause."

   She looked away. "It's a bad investment on your part. I'd never earn it back in salary, not even close."

   "It's not meant as an investment. If you don't want to work, I'd be happy to support you, but I know how important your career is to you. And it's in jeopardy because of me."

   "No, it's because of your father." She twisted her hands together. "I've decided to put out some feelers for a new job anyway."

   "Leave Haverford?" It was the last thing he expected to hear. "I'm wrecking your life, just like you said I would."

   "It's not so bad. Remember, I'm resilient, like the marsh grass. I can tolerate a change of environment."

   At least she hadn't said no. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on the soft skin of her cheek. "Will you think about it?"

   Cassie rested her head on his shoulder. "Later. Right now I just need you."

   He didn't realize what kind of closeness she had in mind until he felt her hands inside his shirt. He was far from unwilling; it had been a struggle to restrain his desire for her. But he could tell it was comfort and intimacy she was seeking, not wild passion. He was determined to show her with every touch how much he loved her.

Afterwards Calder kissed her forehead. "I should have asked you to marry me about five minutes ago, when you were beyond refusing me anything."

   She opened her eyes to look at him. "You're serious about this marriage business."

   "Of course. It's the only way I'll ever find out your middle name."

   She slapped his arm playfully. "Over my dead body. By the way, who is Annette?"

   He gave her a puzzled look. "Annette? She was someone I dated for a while to please my parents."

   "Were you in love with her?"

   "Of course not. The only reason she was interested in me was because of my family. Why?"

   "It was something your father said. I just wondered." Cassie had spent the intervening days trying not to think about Annette. She had been singularly unsuccessful. But she could tell by Calder's tone Annette meant nothing to him.

   It was Joe Westing's fault. He had created enough misery in her life to last her for years and might well be preparing to do more. Was there any end to his ruthlessness? The hardest part was watching Calder suffer and being unable to protect him.

   No. She would
not be helpless this time. She could d
o nothing to fight the Illinois laws and prison system, but she
could
stand up to Senator Westing.

   "Yes." She propped herself up on one elbow to see his reaction.

   "Yes what?"

   "If you really think it will stop your father, then let's get married. I don't want to wait to see what he's going to try next to break us up."

   There was a moment of silence. "Do you mean it?"

   She had been serious too long. She pounced on top of him, took his face between her hands and kissed him hard. "Yes, I mean it, you idiot."

   A wide smile covered his face, and she could feel his body responding beneath hers. His hands slid

To Cassie's relief, Dave and Ann Crowley took the news of their engagement well. It was the first time she had told anyone about it. Or more accurately, Calder told them. At the last minute, Cassie was too tongue-tied to get the words out.

   After dinner, Dave Crowley sat across his elegant living room from them. "Are you sure you want to do this so quickly? It's a big gamble. Not that I don't have faith in the two of you, but sometimes unexpected things happen."

   "I'm sure." Calder took a sip of wine.