Manipulation (Shadows) (15 page)

Neither of us has to ask the other. We run.
This can’t be real, this can’t be real, this can’t be real...

We’re almost run over by a cab as we hit
Second
street.

He lays on his horn, and I jump inside, dragging Addie with me.

“Excuse you!” A woman scowls as we climb in.

“Just for a few blocks,” Addie pleads. “We’ll pay your way.” Who on earth could say no to Addie’s tear-stained face.

“Just a few.” The woman crosses her arms and our driver scowls in the rearview.

Addie’s trembling next to me—like she can’t stop it. I wrap both of my arms around her, like the more tightly I can hold her, the safer we’ll be. The heat of her presses against me and makes me feel like I’m doing something for her. Even though I can’t do
anything
for her—
I don’t know where to go or how to keep her safe.

“This is me,” the woman says one block later.

Finally a break. The cab is ours.

“You two gotta get out, too. I’m headed home.”

“You don’t live in Jersey do you?”
Please. Please.

He laughs. “This is your lucky night. You know it’ll cost you, right?”

“I don’t care.” I squeeze Addie more tightly in my arms. She’s pale, isn’t speaking, and looks like she’s in shock. Her eyes stare into nowhere. I have to do something.

I open the front pocket of my pack and pull out my iPod and headphones. I give one ear to Addie. She doesn’t take it. I carefully stick the earbud in her ear and put the other one in mine. I scroll down to the playlist I draw to—the one that relaxes me. Her shoulders fall just an inch halfway through the first song and she leans into me. As much as I want to ask her for details on her night, what she heard, why we’re running, I can’t bring myself to do it. I breathe in the smell of her against me and concentrate on the feel of her in my arms.

The music flows through me, relaxing me, too. Now I will have a forever soundtrack to this terrifying night. It’ll start with
Let’s Get Lost
by Beck and Bat for Lashes…

I wonder what will come next.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Addison

I follow Dean into the hotel. A Super 8 in Jersey. As soon as I try to form a coherent thought, the reality of our situation hits me. I clutch Dean as he walks us to our room.

“I didn’t know how you felt, so there’s two beds, you know, so you can have your own.” His voice is quiet and he’s just trying to give me something to think about. He slides the card into our door and holds it open for me to walk inside. I have never in my life been scared of the dark, until now. Seeing something so real but so unreal as those shadows that move… It sends another shudder through me.

“You first.”

He steps in, still holding the door and hits the switch.

My arms wrap around my body as I follow him in. It feels like I haven’t taken a real breath since Dean dropped me off at my house and I rode up the elevator in a haze of happiness from our kiss. A whole lifetime away. A world away, but in a world that feels so much safer than this one. A world that existed only hours ago. My pack is still on my back and my arms ache from clutching myself to Dean so tightly.

“You’re scaring me, Addie. What do I do?” He slides his pack to the floor and sits on a bed.

“Dean, I’m scared.” I feel papery, as if I’ll just blow away.

He takes my hand and pulls my arm gently until I’m seated next to him. “We need to rest.” I’m reminded again of how deep his eyes are. “We’re okay.”

He doesn’t know if we’re okay. He has no idea. I feel like I could be watched from anywhere, everywhere. I don’t know what we’re running toward or who we’re running from.

“Addie this room is stifling. We have to get some of these clothes off of you.” His voice is trying hard not to have an edge of desperation but I can hear it. The panic that he’s trying to keep from me.

“Are you just messing with me?” I attempt a smile.

He grins as relief relaxes his shoulders. “No, I’m not messing with you.” He stands up and stretches his hands over his head. “It’s almost three AM. We need sleep.”

“I’m afraid to sleep, Dean. I’m afraid to move, to not move…” My body feels like it’ll crack apart if I let myself relax.

“Come on.” He starts with my backpack, helping me slide it off my shoulders. Then he takes my jacket and unzips my hoodie. “Wait, you are decent under there, right?” He tries to chuckle.

“Would you care if I wasn’t?” I’m really trying hard to show him I’m okay. But I’m not sure if I’m okay.

“You’d care. So yes, I care, too.” He reaches out and touches my face, letting his hand slide down my neck.

For the first time I let myself enjoy it, enjoy his touch. It’s as if his fingers melt through me, touch me more deeply than I thought possible.

“Addison.”

I turn to look at him.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” I shake my head. Tears start falling. I’ve never let myself be like this around someone before—this vulnerable. He’s all I have right now. I know this realization should have hit me a lot sooner, but he really is it. We’re too new for this. “I’m so tired.”

He breathes out as he takes me in his arms. A slow, relaxed breath. It’s designed to calm me. “Let’s get you tucked in.”

I shrug out of my hoodie and he’s right. I feel better. Like I can breathe again. “I’ll be right back.” Maybe doing something normal will help me.

The bathroom lighting is horrible. I look terrible. Pale. My eyes are red and my hair is a mess. I twist my hair to pull it out of the way and splash scalding water on my face. I finger brush my teeth with terrible tasting toothpaste from the hotel. A little better.

“My turn?” Dean smiles as I step out of the bathroom.

It hits me again how tied together we are. How long have I known him? Not long. A little over a month? Two if you could an encounter at the courthouse I barely remember.

I pull back the sheets and the spoiled, vain side of me comes out. I can’t believe I’m sleeping in a Super 8.

And then Dean comes out of the bathroom, completely distracting me.

“Normally I sleep in my boxers. I didn’t think you’d appreciate that so…” He’s in shorts. No shirt. Shorts.

Wow, how can he be distracting me
this way
right now?

He looks away quickly. “Sorry, I have a few T-shirts.”

I don’t say anything. I watch his lean frame bend over and dig through his pack. He pulls out a white tee and slides it on. “Okay?”

“Whatever, Dean. I don’t… I mean… Anything I say will just put my foot further in my mouth at this point, right?”

He laughs and pulls back the sheets off his bed.

My chest sinks a little. “Would… I mean…” I’m afraid to be alone, but there’s no good way to ask. Nope. Too hard. I look down. A blush creeps up my cheeks.

He sits on my bed. His hand traces the edges of the hair around my face. “I promise to behave myself if you want to share.”

“Thank you.” I scoot over, and he slides in next to me.

He faces me, our noses almost touching, and I can feel myself drifting off. The sheets feel cool on my hot skin and the smell of him relaxes me. Maybe I do trust Dean.

I may be tired but my brain has too much to think about, to worry about. My dreams are restless and filled with shadow people and Dean and a boat I’ve only seen in photographs.

* * *

Dean’s at the small table, leaning over a map he got from the desk drawer in our hotel room. The light from the window’s hitting the side of his head sending reflections off his dark hair. I’m lying on my stomach in the bed we shared last night, watching him. The peaceful morning is such a contrast to our night. There’s an ache in my chest over Ellie and the feeling I’m being somehow betrayed by my dad, but I know how few answers we have right now. At least we have a mission, a destination.

His eyes meet mine, and he smiles. “Morning.”

“Morning.” I take a deep breath in. I just spent the night with Dean. I want to revel in that thought and feeling for a moment. We slept next to one another, and there was no sex involved. This is a first for me, and I kind of wonder if it’s a first for him, too.

“I feel bad even asking right now, but do you remember anything else, Addie? From last night?” He leans on the table and looks at me sideways.

I frown. “You just ruined my buzz.”

“Your buzz?”

“Yeah, we…” Never mind. I’ll just feel stupid if I start telling him that I’m glad we’re together. I stretch my mind back to the conversation I overheard. “He said something about bringing me in. Something about eighteen suddenly not seeming so old. He’s not their boss, Dean. I mean, he may be somewhere in the middle, but he’s not the boss.” My chest sinks.

“Anything else?”

“He figured that you’d be easy to get, once they had me.” So cold. Calculating. My dad. I wonder how often I’ll have that same thought. It feels like I lost him but almost worse. Being betrayed is worse. I stare at the floor. I can’t believe this is happening.

“You said something earlier?” His mouth pulls into a crooked smile. “About a buzz?” He stands up and then kneels on the floor in front of me.

I’m sure my morning breath is awful, but I push myself toward him so I can kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Dean. I feel safe with you.”

“Good.” His dark eyes soften me as he runs his fingers through my hair.

He slowly stands and goes back to studying his map. “It’s about two hundred miles from here to DC and then about that much, maybe more to the Carolinas, I mean, we’re not sure where we’re headed yet, exactly…” He sighs.

“Okay.” I’m watching him. He has on his tee from last night but the sun’s shining from behind him and I can see the contours of his body shadowed through his shirt. The tingles start in my chest and move to my stomach, then lower again. I force a breath out and shift my weight a few times to dispel the tension.

“We can’t fly and we can’t take trains because—”

“Of the ID requirement and the paper trail,” I finish for him.

“Right.” His eyes are still on the map.

“And renting a car is out for the same reason.” I’m formulating a plan.

“Right.”

“We could buy some piece of crap, right?” Can you even buy a car for as little as we have? I have no idea.

“What?”

“I mean, we could try to play like Huck Finn and jump a ride on the rail road, but getting caught doing something like that—”

“Would be bad.”

“Yes.” I’m smiling widely. “I would know.”

“How much money do you have?”

“Just over four thousand. Do you think we could find something that runs for two?”

“I’m hardly needed.” He stands up and once again kneels on the floor next to the bed.

“I’ve felt this compulsion for a long time to save. So I have.” It’s the easiest explanation, probably because it’s the most real one. “And I could never do this alone.”

“You underestimate your strength, Addie.” I see his shoulders fall as he begins to relax. “It’ll still be hard to get down there, and we need to think about money once we’re there, too.”

“I’ll see if I can pull out cash this morning. One big withdraw in Jersey won’t be too telling, right?”

“Can you believe we’re in this mess?” A corner of his mouth pulls up and his dark eyes hit mine again.

“No.” I stretch. “I need a shower.” And to not think about the mess we’re in.

“Need help with that?” He smirks.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’ve managed alone in the shower for years.” I grab my pack, having no idea what I packed for myself and head into the bathroom. “Nice try, though.” I laugh as I shut the door.

This is how we’re coping right now I guess. We’re going to flirt with one another and tease one another, and that’s totally okay with me.

*
*
*

Of course I didn’t think to bring shampoo. I’m sure whatever they have here is crap, but better than nothing. After riding in two cabs last night for who knows how long, my hair must be scrubbed.

The hot water feels amazing. Calming, soothing. I let it wash over me.

“We don’t have forever, Princess.” Dean laughs as he knocks on the bathroom door.

The name hits my chest. Chase’s name for me. “You can’t call me that.” I hit the water off.

“Sorry,” he yells. “I didn’t mean this second. Check-out time is eleven, I just—”

“It’s fine.” My voice snaps at him more than I mean it to. I wrap the towel under my arms and slow my heart down.
Addie. Get a grip on yourself. It’s just a name.
A name that brings two years of complete idiocy. I snatch the tiny white blow-dryer off the wall. My hair may look like crap today, but my bangs are going to be smooth. It beats thinking about the growing list of things I don’t want to think about.