Manipulation (Shadows) (17 page)

THIRTY

Dean

“We need gas.” I sigh. This thing gets crap for mileage. Probably cause it’s so old.

“And pee? And snacks?” Addie’s trying really hard to sound cheery.

“Whatever you want.” I glance over at her and smile.

“Ahh.” She slumps in her seat. “That sounds so nice.”

And I know this is terrible, but it’s a relief right now that she’s not touching me. It’s one thing to keep up appearances, but it’s another to also control my thoughts to keep her happy. I’m exhausted.

I’m paying for the snacks and gas when I see someone walking toward Addie. My heart starts racing. I grab the change and bag and bust out the door.

“Hey, Princess.” His voice is a little too smooth.

“Chase.” Her eyes are wide. She’s definitely surprised.

No wonder she doesn’t want to be called Princess. As much as I want to run up and knock the guy out, I can see Addie thinking. She catches my eye briefly and shakes her head, almost imperceptibly. I slow down and pretend to take in the view of the highway from the gas station.

“Your dad’s going crazy looking for you.” He reaches an arm out to touch her shoulder. “And I’ve wanted to talk to you.” His too-slick voice is back. How do girls not see through that?

I feel sick. It turns over in my gut. I have to just stand here and trust her.

“Are you sure he wasn’t talking about Ellie?” Addison laughs. She’s good, she sounds so relaxed.

“I’m…pretty sure.” But Chase doesn’t sound so sure.

“It’s good to see you.” I can picture the smile on her face, but anyone who actually knows her could hear the edge of a lie in her voice.

“You too.” A pause, it’s killing me not to look. “What are you doing down here?”

“Visiting a friend in D.C. Dad dropped me off at the airport.” A pause. “I don’t suppose you have any cash on you, do you?”

“Run out of your dad’s money already?”

I glance over just in time to see her hand on his shoulder and a faint smile in her lips. His wallet’s open. She leans into him and presses her cheek to his so she can whisper something in his ear. I see him stuff a wad of bills into her jeans pocket. Her eyes catch mine and she jerks her head slightly toward the car.

This sucks. I feel like I’m being dismissed.
Trust, Dean. Trust.
It’s just so different when I’m actually faced with a situation like this where I have to trust. It’s an easy thing to say, not such an easy thing to do.

I get in and turn on the car. Addison slides her arm down his shoulder as she steps around him to come toward me. Her shirt’s pulled up to reveal a sliver of skin and I’m part thrilled to see it and part…angry? Jealous? It’s so close to the same thing.

She runs the last two steps to our car.

“Is this a good time for me to break his nose?”

“Get out of here, fast.” She looks over her shoulder as I pull away.

Gladly.

We’re back on the freeway in minutes. Anything I ask will make me seem needy and jealous.

She pulls the cash out of her pocket. “I got us another five hundred bucks.”

“Wha…?” But I don’t know how to finish my thought.

“Chase’s fiancé lives in D.C. Dad’s looking for me. I got close so I could tell him that if my dad finds out where I am, I’m telling Chase’s parents and new fiancé that we used to get together in the Hamptons for sleepovers.”

“Will that work?” Because if it would, that’d be a huge load off.

“I have no idea.”

I put my eyes back onto the road. It’s crazy how much it affected me, watching her with another guy like that. I try to take a deep breath in, but it hurts my chest and shoulders.

“Are you okay?” She leans forward, staring.

“Fine,” I answer. But I’m not fine. There’s anger toward Chase and jealousy over Addie looking at him that way, even though I knew it was fake and now I feel stupid because I knew it was fake and it still made me jealous.

“You’re not fine.” Her face falls a little. “I’m sorry, I just realized how bad that must have all looked to you.”

“It’s okay.” I’m trying to shrug it off.

“Dean. Stop or pull over or something.”

“We need to keep moving.” If I keep moving, keep bringing us to our destination, things will be good.

“I need us to be okay.” Her voice is urgent.

I roll my shoulders a few times. “I’m being stupid, Addie. That’s all.”

“It’s not stupid if I made you feel bad.” I feel both of her hands on my right thigh, but I don’t look down.

“But it shouldn’t, right? I mean, I knew you were doing something to help us out.” No girl has ever made me feel this before, but it’s probably only because I’ve never felt so much for a girl before—at least not one I was involved with.

“I promise next time you can break his nose.”

“Okay.” I smile. “That makes me feel a little better.”

* * *

I’m still driving, but we’ve reached Wilmington. It feels like this major accomplishment. We’re in the outskirts now, too far north probably to meet with Landon and Micah, if they’re here. Addie’s asleep next to me and it’s again a relief to not have to guard my thoughts to keep her feeling safe. That sucks because I love
touching her, but right now it
s added stress.

I’m starving, I’m sure she’s starving and we need a place to stay. I don’t figure there’s much point in trying to call all the harbors around here right now. I’m sure they’re only open for boat traffic this late at night.

We have less than 3,000 left in our stash. If we have to wait here for long, it’s going to run out. I stop the car on the street. There’s a Holiday Inn on one side and a Super 8 on the other. Either will work if there’s room. Towns like this probably book up fast in the summer. Addie wakes up when the car turns off.

“It’s dark.” She sits up.

“We were so close that I just wanted to get here.” I pull out the keys and stand up, stretching my stiff body.

“You should have woken me.” She gets out of her side of the car and wipes her face with a hand.

“So you could worry for longer? We’re here, Addie. We made it. Let’s get a room.” I smile over the car.

When she smiles back it kinda takes my breath away. All the stiffness and grogginess from the car ride start to fade away. We made it. We’re here.

“So, we really made it, didn’t we?” She steps around the front of the car.

“We really did.” I take her in my arms and breathe her in. I don’t know how it’s possible, but she still smells wonderful. Hundreds of miles in a decrepit Subaru, two nights in hotels, and I’m breathing her in.

“Hey, you.” Her voice comes out breathless as she takes my mouth with hers, kissing me forcefully.

“Why don’t we…find somewhere to camp before this gets out of hand…” I chuckle and pull away from her.

“Let’s.”

I dig in the back and pull out our packs. We’ll need to do laundry soon. I take Addie under the other one and weigh our options. The Holiday looks about ten years newer than the Super 8. Easy choice. As I step onto the sidewalk a chill passes through me.
Not again.
My heart’s racing and I’m completely panicked.

Addie screams. It’s short, but makes me clamp her in my arms, just the same.

I squeeze more tightly around her and head for the front door. The door is my focus, as soon as I let myself look at them, I’ll panic. Suddenly it’s like we’re being swarmed. Shadows blur past us so quickly I can’t see where they’ve come from or where they’re going to. Rushes of chills pierce through me, around me. They’re moving so fast there’s no way I could know how many there are.

How can I protect her from this?

Her arms are cradled over her head and I have my arm as tightly around her as I can manage. The shadows pass in front of me, around me. Their limbs touch me with nothing but coolness. Do their arms and hands run down me or pass through me? The air is freezing and each touch heightens my panic and makes me even more desperate to keep Addie safe. I let go with one hand and swipe with the other, afraid to see if my arm passes through them, or knocks them out of the way.

There’s no pressure, just cold. Frigid cold.

I spin and sprint the opposite direction, we’ll stay at the other hotel, the door is further, but it’s like they’re between us and the hotel, maybe we can get to the next one. I have no idea what to do if it doesn’t work. If they head us off again, what do we do? Keep moving? Hope they leave us alone once we’re inside? Run for the car? I let go of Addie’s shoulders to grab her hand. We have to make a run for it. She’s crying next to me in fear.

“Why did we have to wait until it’s dark!”

I don’t think it matters.

“They’re shadows! How can it not matter!” Her voice is scared, angry and panicked.

Finally I feel the Carolina warm air, instead of the frigid cold of the shadows.

We burst through the doors of the Super 8. Breathless and tired of running. It doesn’t seem like we’re followed in here, but it’s only a matter of time. I force my legs to stop a few steps in. I wonder how soon they’ll collapse underneath me?

The small lobby’s deserted. Probably because anyone with any sense, and without shadows chasing them, are next door. I’m able to touch the person at the counter, leaving Addie out of the process. Everyone demands a credit card. Well, until I change that. Addie’s clutching my side, shaking, her chin on my shoulder and her eyes closed.

We get more than one curious look from the three people behind the counter. As much as I hate doing this, I send her not a thought, but a direction. Something I need her to do.
Take a deep breath. Stand up. Stop crying
. I feel like an ass for doing it, but it needs to be done. All I need to do is get us to our room and calm her down so I can calm me down. Guilt washes through me when she does the exact steps I sent to her. The two extra clerks disperse as I pick up my room key, but I feel like crap about it. There’s just no winning.

THIRTY-ONE

Addison

Dean’s digging through his pack. I’m scanning the room. Every movement, every shadow. It feels as if there’s no escape. I clutch my legs more tightly with my arms, leaning against the headboard of our bed, under the covers. I’m still freezing. My body ‘s jerking with each sniffle, or each time I hold in a sob trying to escape. I should care that he practically forced me to do things, but I don’t. It just doesn’t matter. It got us to our room and that’s enough.

“Got it.” He holds up a bottle of Jack Daniels. His eyes meet mine and his worried look is back. “They’ve never bothered us in a room before, Addie.”

“What do they want? How do we make it stop?” My lip is trembling and a tear falls from my cheek to the blanket below.

“I don’t know.” He sits next to me on the bed. “This was a graduation present. It might help you relax.”

Right now I’d take anything for this gnawing fear to go away. I try to nod and Dean passes the open bottle to me after taking a few swallows. And then a few more.

“Do you want me to get some ice?” he asks as he wipes his mouth and coughs a few times.

“No.” No way I want to be alone right now. I take the bottle and bring it to my lips before giving myself time to think. I’ve never had whiskey before, but I’ve seen enough people drink it to know that it doesn’t taste good. I need to make sure I get enough to do something for me.

I’m coughing, gasping for air on my burning tongue and throat as I lower the bottle. “That’s terrible.” I use both hands to wipe my mouth.

Dean laughs and looks at me in the way that I love. Like he never wants to take his eyes from me. “Maybe you shouldn’t have taken such a huge swallow.”

“Maybe.” But the warm tingles from Dean’s eyes and the warm tingles from the whiskey are starting to spread through me, hitting me in places that feel like they’ve been strung up on tension wires forever.

He scoots forward until our knees are touching. “You’re beautiful.”

“Kiss me.” If his eyes are having this effect, I can’t wait to see what his lips will do.

Dean doesn’t hesitate in taking my mouth in his. He kisses me like he’ll never stop. His hand reaches toward my hand and the bottle, our lips still together.

“Don’t hog it all.” I hold the bottle out to the side, keeping it from him, but all it does is bring his body as close as his lips. I stare at his chest, that’s good too. The warm tingles are making me feel relaxed, but also tense as the feeling settles in my gut.

“Come on.” Dean reaches further forward but now his breath mixes with mine, and it feels like I’ll go crazy. As our lips touch again, the desperate feeling sweeps through me. We can’t get close enough, soon enough.

He pulls back.

I still have the bottle. “I will give you this bottle, if you give me your shirt.” My hand reaches out between us, palm up, waiting for his offering.

He cocks his head to the side, looking at me. “Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

A corner of his mouth pulls up and he takes his T-shirt off in one easy swipe.

I hand him the bottle as I stare at his chest.

Dean probably outdoes me, tipping the bottle up for an impossibly long amount of time. I stop counting the glugs on the bottle makes at maybe four. Maybe a lot more.

The fuzziness spreads a smile across my face.

“What?” He already looks more relaxed.

“My turn.” Do I need more? It couldn’t hurt. I’m starting to feel so…good. I don’t care. I’m not scared. The world is warm, soft, and Dean’s here, with no shirt. That’s pretty fabulously awesome.

“You’ve probably had enough.”

I grab the bottom of my shirt, pulling it off and hand it to him. “I’m offering a trade.”

His smile disappears as he hands me the bottle. He takes my top in his other hand and tosses it to the side. Dean’s eyes follow my movement closely as I tip the bottle up, taking more of the awful, burning stuff in my mouth. It’s not as bad this time. And I feel even warmer, and more relaxed…

“What do I need to trade you to get another drink?” Dean leans closer to me.

“Nothing,” I whisper.

He tilts the top to his lips just enough to take a few more swallows and as he puts it on the nightstand, I pull him down on top of me. He’s hot. His skin against mine makes me want more. This is better. This is what I need. My mind is spinning, but it doesn’t matter right now. It’s Dean. I’m with Dean and we need to be closer.

“Addie, I don’t think, I…”

But I grab his arms and keep our bodies pressed together. We’ve never been this close before. His hands are on my back, my sides, run over my front. I want more of him, more of him next to me. I slide off my pants and kick them away under the blankets. I reach for his jeans. I’ve done this before and I need it now. I need a break, a release and I feel so good. Powerful. Unstoppable.

“Wait, Addie…I…”

“Dean. I need this.”

His mouth is on me again, kissing my lips, my neck, across my chest.

“Do you have…
?
”

“In my pack.” He rolls away from me and starts digging around on the floor. “I’m already seriously buzzed, Addie. Once the rest of that hits me, I’m gone.” He chuckles as he fumbles around.

I roll with him and kiss on his back. My eyes open to take him in. This is Dean.
Dean
. Suddenly seeing him almost naked feels like too much. Maybe I’m too drunk to notice. I’m not sure. I roll away from him and the room spins wildly around me. My eyes flash back to Dean who almost falls off the bed in his attempt for a condom.

What are we doing? It shouldn’t be like this. I’m not too drunk to know this.

He climbs back on the bed and immediately grabs me in his arms with the same urgency we had before. But now it feels like too much, and I don’t know how to respond. His touches feel desperate, and I just want away. He’s suddenly like Chase, grabbing instead of touching.

“Dean.” I wonder if it’s loud enough for him to hear.

His lips cross mine again, sloppy. “Hmm” His hands slide down to my hips, as his fingers grab my thigh, pulling me toward him.

“Dean.” I can’t breathe. Can’t he feel how things are different? How I can’t move?

“Addie…” His arms wrap around me and I’m suffocated from being held so tight.

“I can’t…” I start to push him away.

He pauses as he exhales and flops over on his back. It sounds like a breath of exasperation. He sounds like any and every other guy would in this situation. My chest caves because he’s not supposed to be any other guy and this isn’t supposed to be like any other relationship. This isn’t me and Chase, it’s me and Dean. I can feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes because to top it all off, I’m not supposed to feel like just any other girl. And right now, I do.

“I’m sorry.” My voice comes out in a soft whimper.

Dean’s turns to face me.

Please say something to make me feel better. Please say something that will make me feel better…

“I need to clear my head.” Dean sits up slowly, stands, and heads for the bathroom. He rests his hand out against the wall once for balance.

I want to cry. I want to curl up in a ball of self-pity and cry. Instead I sit up and dig around for my clothes. How could I be so stupid? I should have known better. The room swims as I get dressed. I swim as I get dressed. The shower turns on in the bathroom. Oh. Fine. He can relax in the shower while I’m stuck out here alone. Something I should have expected. Because we’re not special anymore. We’re just...anybody. Anybody being chased by things that can’t possibly be real.