Many Shades of Gray (28 page)

Unable to tear her eyes away as he began walking toward her, she said to her mother, “I’m scared. I hope this is the right move.”

“It is,” her mother assured her. “You love him and he loves you. Don’t worry about the rest. If you worry all the time about being hurt you’re going to miss the happy times. If the hurt comes, you’ll deal with it then.”

Janice would have answered her mother but at that moment her father and Simon joined them. As Simon’s eyes slid over her body, he grinned, then looked at her with so much love and lust that she could have melted right there. She grinned up at him, knowing that he was going to slide his arms around her waist. He gave her a kiss on the forehead, so soft, so loving, that she trembled, knowing what would be coming later.

“Mary Jo, you are in public,” her mother chastised.

“I know,” she said, grinning.

“So that’s where you got that particular hang-up from,” Simon whispered in her ear. She nodded her head in acquiescence.

* * *

Simon forced himself not to intrude on Joe and Carol Adams’ dinner plans with Tommy Strong. He didn’t want them to want to spend time with Tommy. He’d invited them to New York to meet him, to get to know him. Hell, they already knew Tommy. They’d known him most of his life. They had a history.

He felt Janice touching him, her fingers moving in a circular, soothing motion. He met her eyes. She knew what he was feeling.

Simon smiled immediately, letting go of the jealousy and instead wallowing in her love, amazed that in a matter of days they were developing into one of those couples he’d always envied, the ones who knew the other’s thoughts without words. From the moment Janice had said she loved him, a thrilling change had occurred.

“Simon, I hope you understand,” Carol said. “It’s just good manners that we see Tommy.”

“I understand,” Simon lied.

“Well, I don’t,” Joe piped in. “Besides, what did you expect Simon to say? He can’t very well object, now can he? Simon is going to be our son-in-law. He footed the bill for this entire trip. You could just call Tommy and say hi. You know these two don’t get along. It’s like pouring salt in a wound.”

“Joe, would you be quiet?” Carol came back, glaring at her husband.

“No, I won’t be quiet. You’re going to see Tommy to see what dirt he has on Simon.”

Simon stared at the couple, his mouth slightly open. He didn’t know whether to laugh at the way they fought so openly and honestly or to worry about the dirt Carol might find.

“Joe Adams, would you please behave?”

“Sure, I’ll behave, but I want Simon to know what he’s getting himself into. Mary Jo’s just like her mother, Simon, unforgiving.” He laughed as his wife hit out at him. “Just remember that.”

Simon watched the couple for a few moments and then turned toward Janice. “Is that true?” he asked. “Are you unforgiving?” He knew the day would come when he would ask for her forgiveness.

“Just don’t do anything that requires forgiving.” she said.

She looked at him with a smile that made his heart melt. Her words, though, were anything but reassuring.

* * *

As much as Carol hated to admit it, her husband was right. She had come to Tommy’s for a specific purpose.

“Tommy, how are you and Mary Jo getting along these days? She hasn’t said a lot about the two of you working together, but I sensed from Simon that there is a bit of hostility between you two. What’s going on?” Carol pulled her chair in closer and gave Tommy a don’t-lie-to-me look and knew that he wouldn’t. He was more than likely waiting for a chance to slam the man Mary Jo was going to marry.

“She lets him run her life.”

“Not from where I sit. We’ve been staying with them and he does nothing of the sort.”

“Then it’s an act for you,” Tommy said with authority.

“Why don’t you like him, aside from the obvious?”

“He tried to buy me for a million dollars. He gave me a check and said it was to help the bookstores, but told me I could do what I wanted with the money. I knew what he was trying to do.”

“What did you do with the money?”

“I tore the check up.”

“Could you do that? It wasn’t meant for you.”

“It was made out to me and he said I could do what I wanted with it so I tore it up.”

“Hmm. What about Mary Jo? Anything happening between the two of you?”

“You mean more than our fighting? We’ve been trying to become friends again but I don’t know if we can.” He hunched his shoulder. “Too much history.”

“She said the same,” Carol said coyly, “only she said you were ancient history, hardly worth a mention.” Carol ignored her husband’s menacing look. She saw the anger rise in Tommy and a tingle of excitement shot through her. Tommy was angry, angrier than she’d ever seen him. Maybe now she’d get some answers.

Tommy saw the flicker behind Carol’s brown eyes and knew she was baiting him. The woman had tried for years to get him to tell her why he and Mary Jo had broken up. He closed his eyes and fisted his hands, commanding his body to breathe normally.

“She’s right.” he answered finally. “Mary Jo and I are ancient history.”

“Then why are you worried about Simon?”

“Because he’s not what he seems. He’s too good to be true.”

“Are you sure it’s not because he loves Mary Jo?”

Tommy looked from Carol to Joe Adams. Then he took a drink of liquor and stared into the bottom of the glass before he placed the glass on the table with a thud. He was done answering questions.

If he had known how nice it would be to have Janice’s parents gone for a few hours and the house to themselves, Simon would have called Tommy and made the reservations himself. Almost since the moment they’d been gone, he had been making love to the woman he adored.

“You’re delicious,” he said, biting her nipple softly.

“Do I taste better now?”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

“Now that you know all of my secrets, do I taste better?” She grinned.

“Let me see,” he said and licked her skin, nibbling along the way. “You always did taste good.”

Janice flipped him over so that she was on top and began kissing his little bud of a nipple. “You taste good too,” she said softly. “Any secrets you want to divulge, any ghosts in your closet that you want to bring out?”

Simon shivered beneath her touch and for one moment he thought seriously about telling her until he saw the brown fire in her eyes. And then all he wanted was to lie there and let her make love to him. Her hands were roaming over his body and his naked flesh quivered, readying itself. The ghosts could wait. She was kissing him, teasing little kisses that blazed a fire in his soul. He ran his fingers through her thick mane of hair, fisted his hands and took control of the kiss.

* * *

The characters were misbehaving and the writing was going slowly. Janice couldn’t seem to get into the rhythm of the book. She’d been having that problem for a few weeks now. It was more a matter of not wanting to plant her butt in the chair and write than it was writer’s block. She was working more on a book that would never be published than on the one that she had to turn in. But she knew the reason. Simon believed the book was about them. She had to admit that maybe some of it was.

Lately so much of her attention had been taken over by Tommy and the bookstores that naturally her writing had gone lacking. And since she’d told Simon that she loved him he’d become equally demanding. She had to admit, though, that she was more than happy to oblige almost all of his demands.

However, she still wanted to spend time helping the bookstores. Now she understood why Tommy had told her the only thing black about her was her skin and realized that her books could have had a significant impact on the African American community if she had chosen to write about positive characters.

Somewhere she’d always known there was something deliberate in her writing and now she recognized the truth. She was punishing Tommy. But in doing so she’d disconnected herself from her culture. That she intended to change. She glanced at her watch and saved her work, turning off the computer. She had to meet Tommy. He was driving her to New Jersey.

* * *

“Hi,” Janice said, trying hard to ignore the frown on Tommy’s face as she slid into his black SUV and snapped her seatbelt. When he continued staring at her, she rolled her eyes and turned away.

“Is it going to be one of those days where you don’t talk to me, Tommy?” she finally asked, unable to bear his silence and knowing that he was staring at the back of her head.

“Usually you want me to shut up, so I decided to do it before you asked me.” Tommy sighed deeply, wishing that being around Mary Jo could provoke more than anger and lust. He wasn’t sure what he would do if she left Simon, but he knew he wanted her to leave him. Like she left me. The thought slammed into him and he looked away.

“You keep saying you want us to be friends but we do nothing but fight.”

“I’ve been trying to protect you.” He sighed again. “It’s hard when you’re fighting me at every turn.”

“I’m fighting you because you keep trying to turn me against Simon. We’re getting married.” Janice looked at him, deciding to plunge right in. “We’re getting married on September first, on my birthday.”

“That’s only a few weeks. Am I invited?”

“Why, Tommy? You want to be the one to stand up and object?” She saw his slow smile, the twinkle in his eyes and it made her miss what they’d had—the innocence of youth.

“I guess you know me. I wouldn’t mind kicking it with you but I guess we won’t ever do that again…will we?” he asked a bit wistfully. “I’m not trying to cock block, Mary Jo. I just don’t trust the guy.”

“I trust him.”

“You’ve gone so far over to the other side that I doubt your judgment is clear on this.” He was ready for the glare she shot him. He didn’t care. The Mary Jo that he had known and loved wouldn’t have even been with the man in the first place. He sighed, missing the old Mary Jo. “Are you deliberately closing your eyes?”

“I’m looking at the fact that I love him.”

“Why?”

“Because he loves me.”

“That’s not a reason. I loved you but you didn’t love me.”

Janice looked out the tinted window of the SUV. “I loved you, Tommy. Don’t play games with me,” she said softly. “You know I loved you.”

“Just not enough.” he murmured equally as softly.

She wasn’t going to go down memory lane with him again. She was feeling too good at the moment and somehow talking with Tommy always seemed to change her mood, make her feel weepy, full of sorrow, make her doubt her choices, fill her with guilt.

Janice sighed. Tommy was the voice of her conscience. His yardstick for measuring her was the same one she’d once used for herself.

“What made you change so drastically, Mary Jo?”

If she had thought it would do any good to tell him again that he’d been the sole reason for her change, she would have. “Tommy, what is it that you really want. Is it for me to hate Simon?”

“When we were together you would have.”

“Tommy, hating people wasn’t what we were about or if it was I didn’t know it. I thought we made plans to uplift our people. I never knew we planned to accomplish that by hating other people.”

“When we were together you wouldn’t have given Simon Kohl a second glance.”

“When we were together, Tommy, I didn’t give anyone a second glance. I was in love with you.” She rubbed her teeth across her top lip. “Now I’m in love with Simon. He’s there for me, no matter what I do to him or how often I try to push him away.”

“Doesn’t it seem odd to you that he didn’t tell you that he loved you until I came back into the picture?”

“Maybe the timing is a bit of a coincidence. Still, for over three years Simon has done nothing but try to make me happy.”

“By assuring you the number one spot?”

Her stomach clenched at the knowledge of just how far Simon was willing to go to prove his love for her. Yes, she’d wanted to be number one, but she’d wanted to do that on her own. “I’m not saying his methods aren’t questionable,” she defended, “but he’s only trying to make me happy.”

“Yeah, by buying you.”

“That wasn’t what he was doing when he found all the back issues that he could of Black Train of Thought and Black Rose. He did that to make me happy.” She could tell that particular piece of information pissed Tommy off and that she’d just slid down another notch on his yardstick.

“It never bothered you that for three years he never told you that he loved you?”

“No. I didn’t want him to.”

“Why not?”

“I could only think of all the times you’d told me that you loved me.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I am marrying Simon so let’s change the subject.”

“What if I bring you proof that he’s hiding something from you?”

“Why don’t you stop digging into his past, Tommy? Stop trying to hurt Simon and stop trying to hurt me.”