Many Shades of Gray (32 page)

Janice walked down the short steps to her Jeep and turned back. Simon was staring after her, it would have done her no good to explain; he would not have believed it. And she wasn’t going to get into another fight in front of Tommy.

Not with her husband.

Not today.

* * *

Simon stood there and watched his wife walk away. She’d lied and betrayed him. She was supposed to be at home. She’d promised that she wouldn’t be at Tommy’s today. Hell, a lot of the work could be accomplished with phone calls and faxes. He’d never thought it was necessary for her to spend all the time that she did with the man. And it wasn’t necessary for Tommy to take her personally to all of the stores. Hell, she had a car. Matter of fact she had a limo. She didn’t need Tommy.

It was time to talk to Tommy, something he should have done months ago. Simon pushed the door open, went inside and looked around. He smiled at the clerk and nodded. He believed his name was Neal; he’d always treated him politely. He had to admit Tommy had a very nice store, roomy, with an old world feel.

Simon looked around, noting all of the small reading alcoves and the closed door leading to the tearoom. He turned and spotted the private reading room that Tommy rented out to groups. He was doing well, much better than most of the stores, but then of course the fact that Tommy had diversified by offering more helped. He offered open mike poetry reading nights and allowed writers to congregate there. It wasn’t a matter of Tommy being a Good Samaritan. It was simply good business. He pulled out a pad and began making notes.

“What are you doing?”

Simon had known that his actions would capture Tommy’s attention. He shrugged. “Just jotting down figures on what it would take to make this place a real success.” Then he looked directly at Tommy. “We need to talk, Mr. Strong.”

“So let’s talk.”

“Not here. We need a more private place.”

“Like a gym, a boxing ring?”

“I didn’t come to fight, not physically anyway. But I’m not averse to that. No one takes anything from me that I don’t want them to have.”

“Is that so?”

“Can you leave for awhile?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a club a few blocks down, very quiet, very private. In fact we can have a private room and we won’t be disturbed.” Simon pulled his phone from his pocket and waited to see what Tommy would say.

“Make the call,” Tommy said.

* * *

Sitting in the oak paneled room of the private club, Simon twirled his drink, looking into the clear crystal. He took a sip and enjoyed the slow burn. Then he brought his eyes up to meet Tommy’s.

“Don’t fuck with me or I’ll bury you.”

Tommy laughed.

“I’m not kidding; you’re not going to take my wife from me.”

“She’s not your property, Master Kohl, neither am I. I do what I damn well please.”

Simon looked down at the plush carpet, the oak chairs and the plaid recliner in the corner of the room near the window.

“I knew it was you who was putting this shit in my wife’s head. It’s not going to work. She loves me, she’s my wife.”

“Did you know your wife was with me just a few minutes before you came in?”

The twitch in Simon’s jaw couldn’t be helped. He was aware that Tommy was trying to insinuate that something more than talking had gone down in the bookstore.

“This is a very nice place,” Tommy remarked, “lots of private room. A person could do anything they wanted to in here. Kind of like my store. I could…hmm…I could make love in my private room and no one would ever know.” Tommy took a drink from his glass and waited.

“I’ve been thinking that since I’m in the publishing industry that maybe a low end, hole in the wall bookstore with a few out of date books and a coffee shop that sells burnt coffee and stale pastries would be the way to go. Hell, I could give the coffee away and who knows, maybe have a book giveaway once a week. I can afford it. Everyone stopping by would get a free book and free coffee. What do you think?” Simon asked, smirking at Tommy.

“I think you’d have to find the hole in the wall store first.”

Simon pulled out the pad he’d used to write his earlier figures on and looked at the numbers. “I think I already have.” He glared as Tommy stood and advanced on him. Before he could swing Simon stood and his left fist shot out, landing a solid punch to Tommy’s abdomen. He’d meant it when he said he wasn’t letting Tommy take his wife without a fight.

* * *

Janice sat in front of her computer typing. For the first time in weeks the words were flowing. She was writing about her life. Simon was right; she’d been behaving like one of those women who were too dumb to live.

She heard the door slam, heard the hurried voices of several members of the household staff and then the footsteps coming toward her study. She continued to write, not wanting to face what was coming.

Simon pushed open the door of his wife’s study and looked in on her. He knew she was aware he was there. Maybe it was a good thing that she didn’t acknowledge him immediately. In the seconds that he stared at her back, he forced some of the residual anger away. He’d started this problem by digging into her past and throwing Tommy in her face.

“You lied to me,” he said, finally coming into the room and closing the door. He continued looking at the back of her head as she typed. He couldn’t believe it; she wasn’t going to face him.

Simon marched across the room, stood behind her and removed her fingers from the keyboard. He heard her sigh as she turned to face him.

“Simon, what happened?” A look of horror, then guilt, rose to her face at his bruises. The guilty look hurt Simon a hell of a lot more than Tommy’s fists.

“Why did he do that?”

“Because I hit him.”

“Simon?”

“Is this what you wanted, for us to fight over you?”

Janice closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “I never wanted this to happen. I didn’t go to Tommy’s to work. I went there just to talk.”

“I didn’t ask you why you went there. I asked you not to go and you agreed.”

Janice could feel the rapid beat of her heart. She could stand there and go toe to toe with Simon. That was their thing, it was them. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to help her husband with whatever demons were chasing him.

“Why don’t you just tell me what you’ve been trying so long and so hard to cover up? What is it, Simon, that you don’t want me to know? Tell me, I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. It was time, hell, it was way past time. “Your friend Mr. Strong has been trying to prove that my family actively participated in the slave trade.”

He looked directly in her eyes, not touching her, not wanting to feel her pull away. He didn’t want to see the look of revulsion that would undoubtedly come into her eyes when he told her but he wanted to see the truth, so he held her gaze.

“I know that, Simon.”

“How long have you known he was investigating me?”

“Tommy told me today when I went there to talk to him.”

Simon swallowed hard. “Did he say if he’d managed to get any proof?”

“No, Simon. He’s on a fishing expedition. Since we were young he’s always had this idea that all white people participated in slavery. We used to argue about it. It never mattered that facts proved his theory wrong. That’s part of Tommy,” she shrugged.

“Is that what you told him today?”

“That and a few other things. I asked him to stop trying to hurt you. I told him that you had not had anything personally to do with things that happened in the past and that I wouldn’t blame you for things you weren’t responsible for.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course I meant it.”

“Knowing what you know, that Tommy Strong wants to destroy me and my reputation and being in the public eye, you’re aware this will also damage you. Are you sorry that you married me?”

“What would make you ask me something like that?”

“Knowing how this will make you look to the African American community, you’re saying you’d stand by me?” he asked, surprised.

“Why wouldn’t I? I love you.”

“You haven’t asked me if it’s true.”

“I get the feeling that I know the answer to that.” She sighed heavily and looked down.

“And?”

“You didn’t have to go through all of this. You didn’t have to.” She shook her head and stopped, frowning at him. “Simon, right now I’m feeling such anger at you.” She saw the pain in his eyes and shook her head again.

“But not about what your ancestors did. You had nothing to do with that. Do you think I would really blame you for something done by your ancestors?”

“Most black people do.”

“I’m not most black people. I’m your wife. I’m the woman carrying your child.” She waited.

“You’re what? You’re pregnant?”

“I think so. I haven’t taken a test yet but I’m pretty sure that I am.”

Simon felt a tingle shoot through his entire body and he closed his eyes, overcome by his emotions. “Are you going to stay with me?”

“You really are a silly man, aren’t you?” Janice said, at last caving in and throwing her arms around her husband. “For an entire year you’ve done everything wrong and in spite of it all we’re here right now. Tommy was never the threat you thought he was and neither was this secret he was holding over you.”

“You aren’t angry?”

“Of course I’m angry. I’m angry that you thought you had to hide this from me, that you allowed Tommy to use this against you. And I’m angry that you didn’t have more trust in me, in my love for you, in us, Simon. Do I like knowing this about your ancestors? No. Do I hold you responsible? No. Does it affect my love for you? Hell no!”

“Tommy—”

“I’ll tell you once more, Tommy is not a threat to what we have.”

“But he was a threat, wasn’t he?”

“Not really.”

“Never?”

“I’ll tell you that the first few days I worked with Tommy we relived some memories. The book wasn’t closed on us, Simon. As for leaving you for Tommy, that thought never entered my mind.” She touched her fingers to his cheeks and kissed his bruises. “You didn’t have to fight for me. You have me.”

She kissed his lips softly. “You should have told me long ago. I gave you so many opportunities.”

“I didn’t want to keep this from you but look what I had to go through to get you to love me. I didn’t want to take a chance on losing that.”

“You didn’t have a right to keep something from me that would affect both of our lives.” At the sound of her own words, Janice heard Tommy’s voice more than a dozen years in the past telling her the exact same thing.

“Simon, I think we need to talk. I’ve told you about my past. Suppose you tell me about yours. Why have you carried this burden for so long?”

She hugged him to her, caressing his shoulders, his back. “You don’t have to carry it anymore. I remember you saying that you wanted us to be able to share any secrets and go on. Your secret is not going to destroy us.”

Simon crushed her to him. Maybe not this one. Harold was right. He should have leveled with Janice. Then none of the things he’d put into play would have happened. But it was too late to reverse them.

“Are we really going to have a baby?” he asked instead.

“Yes. Yes, we’re going to have a baby.”

“What do we do? Go to the doctor? Get one of those little kits? Do you have one?”

She answered him and smiled. “I have a dozen and I have a doctor’s appointment next week.”

“What are we waiting for? Let’s find out.”

He started up the stairs behind her but she put out her hand. “Give me a couple of minutes, then come up.”

“Why?”

“Simon, I don’t need you with me in the bathroom.” She laughed and ran up the rest of the stairs.

He looked after her for a second, then disappeared into her study and closed the door.

* * *

“Harold, I told her,” Simon began the moment the phone was answered on the other end.

“What did she say?”

“She doesn’t blame me.” Simon heard the sigh of relief and interrupted. “Don’t get relieved so quickly. I’ve done something much worse, something that she might have a harder time forgiving.”

“What?” Harold asked, his voice tense. “Simon, what have you done?”

“I told you we had a fight this morning. I went to Tommy’s to set things straight with him, but I met Janice leaving his store. We had a fight.”

“You and Janice?”

“No, Tommy and I.”

“An actual fist fight?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And after it was over I made some calls. Right now bookstores are being closed across the country. The leases are being pulled. I don’t know if I can stop it.”

“Just call the same people and cancel the plans.”